SURPRISE!!

I was sitting on my floor, eating chow mein noodles out of the bag and watching a YouTube video of some girl pulling a giant tumbleweed up a hill with a rope.   The video was only a couple minutes long, and when I got to the end of it, I was like "well, what should I do now?"

I thought about walking downtown and taking a picture of the yoga studio with a logo that looks like a penis, which is something I've been meaning to do for awhile since it is almost unbelievably penis-like, but I was too tired because I had to get up early this morning and go to the dentist and I was crabby because the dentist was like "describe your flossing regimen..." and I was like "intermittent?"  And the dentist judged me and I could tell that she was silently blaming me for my snaggle tooth when in reality it's God's fault for not making teeth more resistant to Tang.  Then I had this sad little moment where I realized that no matter how proud of myself I was for remembering to floss a few times a month, it would never be good enough for the dentist.  It was like when I took Modern Dance in college and my teacher just wrote "Allie tries really hard" on my end-of-year evaluation and it destroyed the image I had of myself as Kevin Bacon in Footloose.

Anyway, what I ended up doing was starting an online message board for no apparent reason.


I think it has the potential to be pretty great, though.  At first it was just me talking to myself with another account that I created, but then a few others trickled in.   So far, the discussions range from an all-caps conversation about how great ham is to who would win in a fight between a shark and a robotic tiger.  There's also a section for drawings and a contest section where you can win things like a picture of Kevin Bacon autographed by me, or a rock.

I wrote a bunch of FAQs and rules, but those are mostly prophylactic in nature.  I want my forum to be a place where people can go to talk about totally inane things without having to worry about being bombarded with pictures of vaginas or being called an "asshat" or a "douchebag" repeatedly.  It's also a great way for me to entertain myself during the day when I should be doing things like grocery shopping and sweeping.

If you want to help me get this thing going, go HERE.  Go totally nuts.  If my comments section is any indication, this has the potential to be totally hilarious.

P.S.  Don't hesitate to start new threads.  I'd love to see what you guys come up with!

UPDATE:  My forum seems to have crashed.  This is grounds for major warfare, internet.  You can't keep me from being famous forever!!  It's fine now.  I won.  The internet lost.

UPDATE:  So far the forum has been everything I had hoped it would be.  I would especially like to highlight the dinosaur-drawing competition and the bee thread.   This is like taking the internet and sprinkling it with gold.  Another good one has been the wizard fights shark thread, though it needs more graphical analysis and perhaps some field data.

27 comments:

Jay Ferris said...

I love it, and have of course joined and submitted a unicorn drawing for my first post.

Tony said...

Ooh! A forum?! I shall join! Yeah, I really don't have anything else to say other than that. I would like to see the penis shaped yoga place though...

Allie said...

Jay - That unicorn drawing is stabbing my heart with excellence!


Tony - Yay! This is going to be fun! (P.S. I promise I'll take a picture of the penis/yoga place at some point...)

Windsor Grace said...

I would just like to say that your awesomeness of starting this blog to procrastinate and now a forum for the same reason. Great. Usually I just look up how to use Photoshop and then get really frustrated and throw my laptop across the room.

Allie said...

Windsor Grace - The great thing about having ADHD is that I will do almost anything to avoid my responsibilities and sometimes those things turn out to be useful. Actually, I don't know if that is a "great thing about ADHD" so much as "an upside to a terrible problem"...

Sarah P said...

Allie, it's a great idea and everything, and I'm super proud of you for thinking of it, but if I can't post pictures of vaginas and call people "asshats," then I'm not sure I really want to participate.

Allie said...

Sarah P - I will consider granting you vagina/asshat privileges...

Jaffa said...

This is fantastic. I missed the housing boom, never bought Google shares, but this time I can get in on the ground floor of something that is going to be MASSIVE.

Or, you know, you might get bored of it in a few weeks and turn it off. But I'm betting on MASSIVE.

Allie said...

Jaffa - I'm hoping it sticks. It's unfocused enough for me to not get bored with it quickly, which is good :)

ShineForLife said...

Ooh! A forum sounds awesome :D

[And I know how it feels to be judged by the dentist. One time I was so proud of myself because I'd flossed nearly every night - with braces - and then I get there and the dentist said, "You need to floss more often." And I said, "I floss every night!" And then there was a short silence where I'm sure my dentist was glaring at me. But I can't be sure, because the light was blinding.

Andrew said...

It seems to be broken. now I am sad.

So sad.

Salt said...

Best thing of all day.

Sarah P said...

Yaaaaaaay! Vagina/asshat privileges!
My life rules!

Beckles said...

there's a website completely devoted to things that look like penises and vaginas. http://thingsthataredoingit.com/

Jen and Tonic said...

Was the tumbleweed video you watched this one?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiHsFUQ675Y&NR=1

Someone sent this to me in an e-mail yesterday because they "thought I'd like it"

I need new friends...

Matthew J Bevis said...

There goes my life.

Allie said...

ShinForLIfe - Yeah, I always feel like an idiot at the dentist because I'm sitting there with totally uncool protective sunglasses on, drooling on myself and they're judging me and it just makes me really insecure. I'm much more sensitive to judgment at a time like that.

Andrew - Yeah, it broke for a few minutes, but it's back up now!

Salt - I'm really loving the whole idea too. I laughed more today than I've laughed in a really long time, and I'm prone to laughter.

Sarah P - You can be the designated "vagina/asshat president" and only you can post these them. You will reign over these subjects and shall henceforward be considered an expert in them.

Beckles - Holy crap! That's rad!

Jen and Tonic - YES!!! That's the one!

Bevis - I'm sorry to have taken it from you :(

*If anyone was wondering, Bevis wins at the forum. He is like Robocop, but with forum posting.

Al said...

Dentists need to stop this judging business... dont they understand they are the most hated people alive.


Love that your thought instead of walking was to create a forum. Heading there now to win all drawing competitions with my outstanding drawing abilities.

Matthew J Bevis said...

*If anyone was wondering, Bevis wins at the forum. He is like Robocop, but with forum posting.


Aww, thank you! Mucking around on the forum has reminded me of what it used to be like to have my own blog. FUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN!!!! :)

But with fewer exclamation points/marks.

Ninja in a Mazda said...

I made the decision not to play fantasy baseball because it wastes too much of my precious moments on this earth. This forum will not be easy to kick to the curb. Thank you and damn you at the same time. Damnk you. Damnk you very much.

GoingLikeSixty.com said...

Uninstalled Tweetdeck, installed VERY SERIOUS YOU ARE ON FIRE JUST KIDDING deck.
My new favorite place on the whole internet that isn't porn or wimmen.

MODG said...

Thank you for providing an acceptable forum for me to post my sad bee. I've been waiting 9 years and it's now here.

bees=life.

Stylez said...

Just when you think the internet is perfect, BOOM. Incidentally, "asshat" was my nickname in high school.

Ed Adams said...

You're creativeness never ceases to amaze me.

It's like, anyday I expect to to come up with a cure for cancer.

Either that, or illegal immigration of bears.

Probably the latter.

CherBearBlue said...

ASSHAT! lol, too much fark! or champagne. either way.

Stephanie High said...

I really really love your blogs, thank you very much for brightening up my evening! I laughed out loud several times, received a few odd looks but it was worth it. Can't wait to read more!

Anonymous said...

But... SomethingAwful already exists!