Has Anything Ever Looked More Like a Penis Than This?

There's a yoga studio near where I live.  But I'm pretty sure it's not actually a yoga studio because I'm almost positive that it's some sort of underground penis cartel or something:


Like the black market, but for penises instead of kidneys.

UPDATE:  While I was walking back from taking pictures of the penis cartel, I found the most joyful graffiti ever:


Some deviant bought like, nine cans of spray paint and proceeded to scrawl happy little children across the side of a building.  I don't know waht SxFxh means, but I'm assuming that it's German for "look at all the happy children!"

UPDATE:  All this talk about "one ball" concerns me... are we seeing the same thing?  There are most definitely two balls there... they are on the bottom of the image.  The penis is pointing upward.  Please tell me that I don't have to draw a translation for this...

62 comments:

Tony said...

It's good for you until it gives you a yeast infection.

For some reason, I was under the impression that the building itself was shaped like a penis.

Tony said...

After rereading your last post, I realized how idiotic I was for believing the building to be shaped like a penis.

"the yoga studio with a logo that looks like a penis"

I missed the "logo." Sigh...

Sarah P said...

Penis. That's the penis store. I will send you $5 if you go in there and try to order a penis. If you can provide proof (a good story would be fine), I will absolutely make good on this.
I think other commenters should join me in this effort to get Allie to order a penis from the yoga penis.

Matthew J Bevis said...

"Has Anything Ever Looked More Like a Penis Than This?"

Yes. But only an actual penis. (I should know. I've actually seen a real one. It was in a movie once, but it counts because it wasn't a cartoon.)

I love Sarah P's suggestion that you go in there and 'innocently' order a penis. Then when they ask why, you have to point to their logo on something and keep up the innocent act to get the best out of their response.

I will also send you $5 if you do this. I think most of your readers would consider $5 a good investment in such hilarity.

Jaffa said...

I'd send £5, and that's worth more. Not a lot more these days, I'll grant you. Thanks for that, Messers Brown and Darling.

Allie said...

So I have to go in and ask the nice yoga people if I can buy a penis? Should I ask for a penis-shaped object like a vibrator (pretend I think it's a sex shop) or ask for an actual penis? What if I walk in there and the person at the front desk is a sweet old lady? I'll definitely have to scope this out first.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

Whoever's behind "It's Good For You" gets my sarcastic slow clap right now. Because I'm really bad at sarcasm and that's all I've got in my repertoire. Besides, "no shit, Sherlock" and I'm not sure that applies.

I'll add $5 too. Boom, you just made 20 bucks. Who says blogging doesn't pay?

Zaedah said...

And here I thought yoga was all a bunch of self-promoting, body-twisting, 'I'm not a freakin' pretzel' nonsense. Apparently, I've misjudged the entire foundation on which the practice is based... the Penis!

EdenSky said...

I'm in for 5$, but only if you do it with a hidden camera (you've got one, right?) and post the video for us to enjoy.

Gigi said...

Ummm Allie?? How many sweet little old ladies do you know that do yoga? Usually, it's the uber-fit hippy ones who would totally get the whole thing to begin with. Just sayin....

MODG said...

it's a penis with uno ball. That's a problem for everyone.

Matthew J Bevis said...

I was going to suggest the moment be filmed, but figured that would make it too difficult and might mean you didn't do it. Maybe if you had your camera phone recording and kept it in your hand/pocket so we could at least hear the conversation (even if we can't see it), then that would be okay.

Also, your forum is broken again. Please make it fixed, I have much time-wasting to do over there!

Matthew J Bevis said...

Forum's working again.

Chillax.

sAm said...

Totally looks like a penis.

I hate to talk about people behind their backs...so I just wanted to let you know I linked to you in my blog today. Check it out, don't...whatever floats your boat!

Stormy Cruz said...

Allie, my dear, should I be concerned that this is the second random penis you've seen in the past few days?
First on my blog, then on a yoga studio sign.
Next: a church, perhaps.
(Maybe you should do installments and call it the "weekly penis!")

*Standing by*

Imnotbenny said...

We don't have penis stores here. That's all I have to say about that.

Is it wrong that I thought maybe the guy who painted that mural was doing it from the perspective of a guy who just tossed eight kids out of a plane and is watching them fall to a horrible doom?

Cause it feels wrong.

Sharon Needles said...

Damn, I just started yoga, and now I'm feeling all squikked out about it. And I'm allowed, as a dyke of long standing.

Great. Now I'll never be able to do the double lotus, cuz I'll be so distracted by "But do I look like a unit with uniball?"

maggly1234 said...

I see lot's of random penis's floating around my town too. Flagpole? Penis. Hot dog? Penis. Bird? Penis. Penis? Penis. We have a wall like that in my town too but we painted it there on purpose and it's supposed to be 'art' I guess...

Ink Spiller said...

All sorts of questions are being raised in my mind, none of them suitable for publication...

Someone got paid handsomely for designing that logo and they're probably laffing their butt off! But it will come in handy if the yoga studio ever decide to come out with their own line of dildos.

Barbara said...

OMG! How do people get away with logos like that? fuckin hilarious

dogimo said...

Send that penis in to the Accidental Dong!

You know, I really like the basic design, but they need to neaten up the lines a little and make it not so floppy penisy. They could totally make those balls read as yoga-legs! It just needs a few minor tweaks. A few minor tweaks to the penis.

Those happy children are disturbing. They look like chalk body outlines. Somebody threw a bunch of kids against the wall and then colored in the crime scene to make for a more uplifting atrocity.

Martha Karnes said...

I just died a little.

Al said...

Oh gosh thats wee worthy!

Ill provide $5 as well!!

Go do it!! NOW!

CherBearBlue said...

obviously some people reading your blog need to go get some dick. to remind themselves what balls look like. Oops, had too much to drink and I'm taking it out on your comments!

jimfre said...

There are most certainly two balls. Now that circus-tent of a foreskin could use a little fixin...

jimfre said...

There are most certainly two balls. Now that circus-tent of a foreskin could use a little fixin...

Ed Adams said...

I see no penis pic, which curiously I feel sad about. Wish I could say that's the first time.

I do see the happy kiddies though.

Brndoutw8ress said...

I so got $5 for you, I'd love a good "looking for a penis story". Even if there's a little old lady there, which I don't think is possible (only yuppies with tight buns do yoga) you should just casually stroll in and be all like "um yes I heard from Tonynothumbs that I could score a modestly priced penis here". That'd be hilarious! Please please please do this for us!

Sarah P said...

You know, I think it's fine if you ask for a penis or a vibrator. Whatever you think is best.

You could even ask for tiger penis. Say you're making love potion.

Just.Kate said...

Oh HA. "It's good for you".

*SNORK*

Matthew J Bevis said...

It is, you know.

FACT.

Shana said...

Didn't they take a step back and look at the awning after it was put up? Or are they just so enlightened by all their yoga doing that they are above things like giggling about penises? Thanks goodness I'm not that enlightened. I love this post. Hee hee hee.

publicknitting said...

A picture!! Finally!! And there are definitely 2 balls. Definitely. And, it does pretty much look just like a penis. Can you please email them this post?

AMBELLINA said...

I would suggest NOT asking to buy a penis there. I mean, what if someday you decide to take up yoga? They'll be all, "THAT'S the penis-crazy girl... tell her all our classes are full."

Salt said...

Definitely two balls. Wow that is the most penissy logo I have ever seen. Why didn't someone stop that designer?

Sam Liu said...

What a delightful phallic yoga studio! Hilarious, and I love the dancing children graffiti as well :)

When is the post about how to promote your blog coming? I'm really keen to know all your tips and advice.

Thank you for never failing to make me laugh :D

Sam.

Lanned said...

Okay, I'll leave a comment but I think my first born child could take you. The penis totally has two balls. Perhaps the confused people have never seen a normal penis?

dawn said...

I'm not sure why they call it a Yoga Studio, don't know many men who do yoga.
Maybe it's a yoga studio for hermaphrodites. I am sure there aren't a lot of places where they fit in.
Maybe this is the place for them.
Or not... the graffitti is of dead children, right? Looks like the outlines the CSI makes before taking the bodies away, dontcha think?

Elle said...

LOL! Those are fantastic! XD

Blaise said...

Wow... I was not expecting it to look quite so... accurate! I'm amazed no one has brought it up to them yet.

Matthew J Bevis said...

I suspect that the person who mentioned 'uno ball' (I believe it was only one commenter who mentioned it) was referring to the ball shape atop said penis. So that opens up a whole new and confusing question of why they thought that shape was meant to signify a literal 'ball'.

I also believe that all of this one-ball/two-ball/three-balls-a-lady talk has been taken out of context and undertaken a (one-sided) life of its own.

But anyway, I digress. On to the forum!!

Hayli said...

http://www.spanishfork.org/newsevents/events/fiestadays/img/Central_Bank_Logo.jpg

There was this bank in Utah right by my house with this logo.
Mormonville.
Penis logo.
I never understood it.

Kb_Mal said...

BIG time penis-ish.

ASSHOLE BOYFRIEND said...

You have too many blogs, I feel dizzy and un-safe. I passed an award on to you, I HAVE to, ok?!

~Jamie said...

what the hell people, that thing clearly has TWO balls.

Nikole said...

Maybe it's a yoga studio exclusively for women who want to gain more flexibilty so they can get more penis.

P.S. Do you happen to have the number?

stanleygoodspeed said...

Those kids don't look like they're skipping around the tree to me. It looks as if somebody has pushed them from the top of the building to their untimely doom. I feel a bit sorry for that one guy that didn't manage to stay relatively upright. What a mess.

Kurt said...

I'm picturing an open-air penis market now, with exotic-looking shopkeepers haggling with eunuchs over price. The seedy underbelly of the stolen cock trade in other words. I don't have any idea what the fancy high-end cock importers look like.

malou said...

Hey Allie!

I gave you a Kreativ Award for your indescribable awesomeness. :)

Love, Malou.

Ben said...

There are quite clearly two defined balls in there. I SHOULD KNOW.

Ben said...

PS. I was very happy to be commenter #50. I heart when my posts get round numbers of comments.

I'm projecting my OCD on you and taking care of it on your behalf.

Ben said...

Fuck, I ruined it.

Elizabeth Kaylene said...

No, I see it. And the scrotum is super detailed, too, with that vein running down the middle...

CarrieAnn said...

I totally saw the balls, even before you posted the UPDATE. Not sure what that says about me.

Cheryl said...

The kid right below SxFxh looks like he got kicked in the balls by the other kid.

Cheryl said...

Also, if I saw a penis that looked like that in real life, I'd probably take a picture.

Camera phone- love it.

Single Mom Survives said...

I'm suddenly craving pistachios. Odd.

lintilla said...

It's an epidemic because here's my yoga teacher's website: http://www.centredself.com.au/ I NEVER NOTICED IT BEFORE. (Although her penis-logo is a bit deformed.)

Amanda West said...

Wow. It really is penis-like.

taryn said...

Jeese
I drive by this every time I'm home
I laugh and my mom DOES NOT get it
how can you NOT???

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Obviously, it's a front for a penal colony.

Ahem.

I thought that would be funnier. Sorry.

Darryl said...

That belongs with these:

http://b3ta.com/features/phalliclogoawards/