This is Why I Have Hundreds of Unpublished Posts...

I drew this today:


I thought it was really funny.  I showed it to Boyfriend, and he looked at it for an awkwardly long time before looking up at me and making a sound that was too tainted with confusion to be considered laughter.  So I was like "Get it?" 

Boyfriend:  "No...?" 

Me:  "It's funny because those triangles only look fun to hang out with because I drew them that way." 

Boyfriend:  ...

Me:  "I could have drawn mean triangles, but I drew happy, fun-looking ones." 

Boyfriend:  "Yes you did." 

Me:  "And that's why it's funny.  I'm sure not all triangles are fun to hang out with.  Just the ones I made." 

Boyfriend:  "What is wrong with you?" 

Me:  "I don't get why you are having such a hard time with this!  Triangles don't have personalities.  I am projecting personalities onto the triangles!  And then I'm making a blanket generalization about all triangles based upon my own arbitrary projection!" 

Boyfriend:  "Okay." 

Me:  "No, you still don't get it!" 

Boyfriend:  "I get it.  It's just really weird."  

Me:  "You don't understand what a burden it is to have such an advanced sense of humor." 

Boyfriend:  "I'm sorry.  It must be terrible."  

Me:  "I bet this is exactly how Beethoven felt." 

Boyfriend:  "Beethoven played the piano." 

Me:  "I know that.  I was making an analogy.  Someday I'm going to be a famous genius and you're still going to be a hobo!" 

Boyfriend:  "Still?" 

Me:  "Yeah.  And I won't give you any money because you were such an asshole to me before I was a famous genius." 

Boyfriend: "Well, in that case, can I make you some waffles or something?" 

Me:  "Nope. Sorry. Too late. I'm going to go draw more pictures that you aren't evolved enough to understand."  

And then I drew these: 


After about 45 minutes, Boyfriend was like "What are you doing?" 

Me:  "Drawing." 

Boyfriend:  "What are you drawing?" 

Me:  "You wouldn't understand." 

Boyfriend:  "Maybe I would..." 

So then I showed the pictures to Boyfriend and he was like "The speed bump one is kind of funny..." 

I bet even Beethoven didn't have to deal with this kind of adversity.  

48 comments:

pattypunker said...

i so wish you would draw me. maybe you could give me a clever charming personality. pretty please?

Amy said...

The speed bump one isn't just kind of funny. It's hilarious! And the triangles are adorable and definitely seem like they'd be fun to hang out with. And the disdain of the picture frame is very deep. Love them.

Boyfriend's gonna be sorry someday.

Stormy Cruz said...

I totally understand you. Don't ever make apologies for your unique sense of humor, either.

You know what...oddly...the triangles made me think of? The bitch-ass flowers from Alice in Wonderland. Remember those whores? One might assume that flowers would be friendly, and they did seem that way at first, but before you knew what hit you, they turned nasty and chased poor Alice out of the garden and called her ugly.

*sigh* Attributing personality traits to inanimate objects is a very delicate thing. You do it well.

Jay Ferris said...

Well of course. I mean, who wants to hang out with a bunch of squares?

ba-dum pish

Feel free to use that one.

Sarah P said...

It could be sleep deprivation, but I'm laughing so hard, I keep waking up my cat. She's really annoyed with me.
I totally love the triangles.

And? Let's be fair. That brown rectangle said what we were all thinking.

Ireland said...

don't worry, Allie, your awesome sense of humor is not wasted. I totally get your amazing pictures, but I wish I was that good at MS Paint....

you know what? I bet boyfriend is just insanely jealous of your mad skillz. He wishes he could have such developed mental capabilities.

Megs said...

I totally and completely agree with the plain picture frame. Its funny because its TRUE!!! And also deep, because the anthropomorphized frames could also be like people! So it has a double meaning. Or something.

Tony said...

I choked on my gum when I got to the speed bump one. That was just effing hilarious! And then the window one killed me, but don't worry, I came back to life.

Barbara said...

Your triangles are awesome!! I would so want to hang out with them!

Buzz said...

Man, I just love the blatosmargodendrisaurus crossing drawing. You gotta do a book - I would totally buy it. And I want a blato T-shirt!

miss. chief said...

Awww I wish I was friends with anthropomorphic isosceles triangles. They're so FUN!

I really really really like the blatomargodendrisaurus one. Totally made me inhale in a half-laugh. YOu know?

Jo said...

Awww...I want to put my arms around the wee mirror/frame/window and give it a great big hug...look how sad it looks (and no wonder- no one knows what it is)

In contrast, when I next drive over a speed bump I will let out a shriek of evil delight! And then I will pull out your pain chart and ask it how it feels...

hehehehe

PS - Even though I have been popping in and reading your blog I wasn't going to leave a comment because I have been hoping you would eat my firstborn child - he is a naughty free loading pan licker - but you didn't come, so there.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

Triangles WOULD be fun to hang out with. The (a)cute ones anyways. The rest seem pretty obtuse.

*self high-five*

DJ Buttaskotch said...

I loved the picture frame one so much that I just printed out 35 copies of it in the computer lab at my school and am just going to leave them sitting on top of the printer. It cost me $2.45.

I will admit though that I first thought those were poptarts.

O.G. said...

The one that's obtuse - he probably wouldn't be much fun, but a few of those bad boys are just right.

ASSHOLE BOYFRIEND said...

Fuck You blatosmargodendrisaurus! Asshole is singular fucker.

maggly1234 said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! YOU'VE INSPIRED EVERYONE TO MAKE TRIANGLE JOKES!!! I know how you feel too, because I make REALLY good jokes and my friends NEVER laugh at them...THEY JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW COOL WE ARE!

The Chicken's Consigliere said...

Know what I love? Reading something late at night that makes me laugh out loud and snort my wine. Thanks.

Krista said...

All this talk about triangles and having an advanced sense of humor made me think of a convo I once had with a co-worker. I told him, "Lunch is at noon, be there or be square." And his text back read, "Can I be a double dodecahedron?" I was really confused until I sort of remembered stuff from geometry. Do you think double dodecahedrons would be fun to hang out with?

Tgoette said...

Your boyfriend just doesn't appreciate your amazing genius like we do. I have the same problem with the small-brains I roll with! Loved the drawings, especially the triangles (so acute!). Hilarious!

Stylez said...

What did the triangle say to the circle? Your life seems so pointless.

Harini said...

I wish I could hang out with right angeled triangle... it kinda looks fun to hangout with :D.

Ed Adams said...

I LOL'ed at the Blagosaurus thingy crossing one.

The rest I'm kind of with boyfriend on. I was like "Huh?" or "cute" or just "......".

Matthew J Bevis said...

Yes, I was totally waiting for the "... because they're not squares" punchline. Now I'm just disappointed that you missed that opportunity (or at least that Boyfriend didn't come up with that as a possible intention of your work when he was staring at it for so long).

Woolly said...

I not gonna lie, I totally didn't get the Blatosmargodendrisaurus one. Is it just me?

However I laughed my ass off at the other 2.... The picture frame one is my fav!!!

Seriously you have to make one of those desk calendars.... these kick the shit out of my Calvin and Hobbes one (But I still love Calvin and Hobbes)

A Nerd Like Me said...

"You don't understand what a burden it is to have such an advanced sense of humor."

LOL! Best. Line. EVER.

Ben said...

Boyfriends are annoying. They need to think we're as famous as the internet does. THAT would solve everything.

Cheeseball said...

Wooly - he was mad because the sign said "This Thing" crossing, instead of naming him properly.

The picture frame one was awesome. I feel like that ALL THE TIME.

Also, I am picturing a follow-up to the road crossing sign. A moose crossing at a deer crossing sign, snickering softly to himself at his cleverness.

Shana said...

I often laugh hysterically at things and my BF looks at me like I'm totally nuts. That's usually when I throw a pillow at him or give him the finger.

I thought the triangles were funny. But I thought the mirrors were better.

Moooooog35 said...

Maybe he would have thought it was funny had you drawn hexagons.

Hexagons are party animals. Trapezoids, however, are the miscreants of the geometric world.

True story.

Stephanie said...

Haha. I actually laughed, and people stared at me. Boyfriend sounds hilarious (in his own way). I asolutely love your blog!

Morgan said...

Haha, this is why I love your blog.

Alice said...

ha, i was all "oh, i totally get the joke, because they're not SQUARES!! take that, boyfriend!" ....but, yeah, turns out i didn't get it either. i need to keep reading your blog so you can help evolve my sense of humor, obviously.

P.T said...

I like the speed bump drawing...hilarious...oh! and the triangles with personalities!!!

Hilarious!!!

Elizabeth Kaylene said...

I like the picture frames. I'm so with the one on the left.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Was your boyfriend born in January? Because my husband was, and he sounds just like your bf.

Well, I think you're funny. So there.

Ellie said...

He did have to deal with being deaf. A composer, deaf. Think about it. Yeah.

Nati said...

Dump that guy and marry me.

Christina In Wonderland said...

They were all super hilarious. We should start an evolved sense of humor club and create our own jackets with your happy little triabgles so that no one would understand and we could be awesome like that. :)

Amanda said...

My husband doesn't get me sometimes, either.

I don't see how he doesn't understand the triangle thing. I mean -- they are *smiling*. Duh.

Amanda West said...

Haha! That speed bump picture was priceless!

korovieva said...

Blatodendrismargosaurus is killing me. Tee-hee!

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Allie, take it from me. Men are stoopid. I've been with the same man for 23 years now...he's still stoopid, and he has a PhD (which actually means Piled Higher and Deeper).

Anonymous said...

Blastomargodendrisaurus looks kind of like a sideways moose-head!

-Aud

Amber said...

AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*breathe*

*suck in air*

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA <<i'm not spam

mandy said...

i don't understand why this post isn't in the best of sidebar!

but i'm glad it isnt, because then i would have found it before today, when i really needed it.

Anonymous said...

Sweet JEEZUS, I adore your humor. It can only be described as WIN.

Now, why can't I find a single female that's just... like... you?

Amanda said...

Wow, I laughed so hard reading this post - I know it's old, but I wanted to put a comment. Because it is exactly how I feel almost ALL THE TIME. The things I find funny - people just look at me weird.

Your comics all made me laugh - a lot.