A News Update, a Dramatic Montage and a Video Animation

My friend Colin made a fantastic animation based on one of my old posts:


I'm pretty sure Colin would be totally pumped to get some recognition for his hard work, so if you're feeling helpful, you can go over to Newgrounds and rate the video and/or leave a comment.  If you're confused about how to rate things on Newgrounds, go here.  I have provided a handy screenshot with a giant yellow arrow and some helpful instructions.

In other news, I recently moved to Bend, Oregon because it is quite possibly the best place on earth and just breathing the air here is like huffing joy and celebration.  The bad news is that I've been busy using my shriveled, little t-rex arms in a mismatched battle with heavy boxes and furniture.


Perhaps the exhaustion and feelings of physical inadequacy involved in the move caused me to be slightly more vulnerable than usual, but a few days ago, I wrote this post.  Which I promptly buried below my other posts because it is shameful and it could possibly be interpreted in a way that would make me look like an alcoholic.  

Anyway, I'm working on a new post and, despite signs to the contrary, I'm not beginning an agonizing retreat into a life of substance abuse and failure.  In fact, just this morning, I ate fruit, drew a picture of my dog and then later waved pleasantly at a person passing by on the street.  Is that something that a despondent, irreversibly damaged drunk would do?  Kapow. Totally logical and irrefutable rebuttal to your possible doubts.

582 comments:

1 – 200 of 582   Newer›   Newest»
Whirly said...

awesome!

Fat Tony said...

The important question is: did they wave back? If not, back to the substances for you, my dear.

-FT

Savannah J. Foley said...

We still believed in you, despite your drunken!Allie post <3

melissa said...

Don't be ashamed of that post. Who hasn't live blogged their drunkenness at least once . . or twice . . . or weekly . . . *crickets*

Aaaaanyway . . .

Bill Fitzgerald said...

Welcome to Oregon!

Hope the move goes well/is uneventful.

And drinking while moving is actually a required part of the process.

Cheers,

Bill

MOV said...

I love your blog. You are an inspiration.

Best, MOV
http://mothersofbrothersblog.blogspot.com

T said...

oh phew - glad you're not living in the bottom of your bottle of rum and get out once in a while to wave pleasantly at your Bend neighbors...

Nerdery said...

Yay! Welcome back Allie :D

Apterous Angel said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one with shriveled T-rex arms!

Ms. C. said...

JOY! I can't wait to see what you have up your sleeve!!!!

mefloraine said...

Luckily for you, we just assume insanity and/or drunken posting is normal on your part. No worries!

Dr. Cynicism said...

EPIC VIDEO! And congrats on your move - you'll love Oregon!

Elise said...

Perfection is for weirdos and possibly the sexual frustrated. I stand behind avoidance through alcohol sometimes. :)

Carrie Ann said...

Allie, I need to put this out there:

I hope you don't feel like you have to apologize for anything you do here. It's your space, and Anons who give you shit are not your people. The rest of us who are AWESOME love it all - the long stuff, the short stuff, the hilarious stuff, the drunk stuff.

I hope you love your new home! I totally relate to your moving drawing, except mine would include directionless RAGE as its most prominent emotion.

holydust said...

OHMYGOD. A NEW POST.

#completeloser

Echo of Eve said...

Allie, what happened to boyfriend? Did he go away? Are you doing okay?

And other awesomeness: Welcome to Oregon. It's a lot less remote then say.. Montana.

Emilia Torre said...

What prompted the move?

Amanda Broadfoot said...

Ahh. Finding a new post on your blog is like a shot of grain alcohol in my otherwise dismal day.

Rick said...

I loved your drunken post! Unfortunately, I missed it live... because... um... I was drunk.

Agent Beryllium said...

WELCOME TO THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST, ALLIE! :D

admin said...

Can we please see the picture of your dog?

Allie said...

Echo of Eve - Haha, Duncan is fine. He moved here too!

holydust said...

p.s. OH, stop it. No one thinks you abuse substances.

you made one super fun post showing us all that you can be funnier than all of us combined even when you take the occasional alcohol sabbatical. stop it. we love you.

Dani said...

I've bloged drunk plenty of times. I thought your post was funny.

You have my comiseration. I just moved too and it's draining.

Amy said...

Bend is awesome! Welcome to Oregon! Perfect place for a fellow north Idahoian!

Anonymous said...

Welcome to Oregon!

Donna said...

Totally OK to get drunk now and then. Only creepy pod people never do that, and who wants to be one of them?

mandy! said...

fskjdhfdskjhfd oregon

Andrew said...

I thought the live post was just awesome, it's too bad I missed it.

Anastasia said...

You ate fruit? Well, I'm convinced.

Can Opener Boy said...

Yea! A post for my birthday! Thanks!

Yasmine said...

I love your drunken post and your shower product blog, but that video sucked :( I think Colin's voice ruined it.

Rebekah said...

Hooray! Oregon gets Allie!!!

laurashepp said...

That video is fantastic. And it's right on, because I always read that post with the PowerThirst guy's voice saying it in my head.

LeaKarts said...

I just wanted to take a second to tell you that you are freakin' awesome!!! Thanks for cracking me up on a regular basis :)

Jen said...

I think your drunken post is magic, like unicorns peeing rainbows kind of awesome. You don't see that every day.

Christopher said...

i blog drunk exclusively

cynicalbuddha said...

Careful, first stop Oregano next stop Alaska, the best place on earth(in the summertime).

Jules said...

I can't think of anything i've ever read that has made me laugh as hard as this blog. Also, i ate a Burrito yesterday and spent the rest of the day randomly shouting BARATA!

<3

Maria said...

I never doubted you for a moment! And I thought the drunk post was hilar.

Whitney said...

So today at the mall, "Apologize" by Timbaland was playing. I heard it, but I wasn't really "hearing" it, you know? But it was totally affecting my subconscious because all of a sudden I was like, "why am I thinking about strippers?" Then I realized that you were that stripper, and all of a sudden my 3 hour wait at the Secretary of State Office got a little better. Like, not a lot cause 3 hours is a long time, but it was better.

poorlocavore said...

I don't know how you crystallized all the angst and trauma of moving into a one-panel illustration, but I'm so glad you did! Oh, and welcome to the northwest too.

Tre said...

Epic.

Also, that drunk post was awesome and I'm glad you kept it, despite its embarassing-ness. The rest of thee blog more than makes up for it :)

nuclearheadache said...

I thought waving pleasantly at strangers was one of the 12 steps?

Nathaniel Hoffelder said...

I wish the Old Spice Guy had done your commercial. Now that would be awesome.

Can Opener Boy said...

PS - welcome to Oregon -- it is the awesomest, but Bend is sometimes sort of brown. Lots of sun. People will say "Wow, you live in Oregon, huh? I bet it rains alot" You can tell them "No, we have alot of sunny days!"

e said...

I've totally done that, written something that then I kinda regretted and then buried it.

Elizabeth Kaylene said...

<33333

Please. I love your drunken posts. I love my drunken posts, too. Everyone should blog drunk! It's always so amusing to read them later on.

Besides, we all love you. The haters can suck it.

Feisty Fatale said...

Hey, I love you Allie!
I recently moved all my stuff out of my apartment and when I read about your shriveled, t-rex arms lifting up boxes, I had to tell you that I had the same problem! I hate lifting boxes...I hope you got your boyfriend to do most of the heavy lifting like I did! :)

Love,
Feisty

Courtney said...

Allie, I think you should have buttons made.
Like from The Dark Knight, with Harvey Dent.
"I Believe in Allie Brosh."

Carl said...

I may have missed this, but did boyfriend follow you to bend?

Brandy said...

Bend IS beautiful! I spent a weekend there for a friend's wedding and tried to drink as many microbrews as my liver could handle. I got a speeding ticket driving back to the Portland airport in my rental car hungover the next morning. 55 MPH my ass!

Ms. MM said...

Oregon! Nice! Is it raining?

Yes, I've had caffeine. Your point?

Heather Jane said...

I BELIEVE IN YOU FOREVER!!!

Annalise said...

ajfdasklfjidla I just want to say that I live in Washington and have been to Bend a million times and just got unreasonably excited about you moving closer to where I live to a place I know about. Oregon is amazing!

And frick, I totally want a burrito now. THANKS A LOT

You've Got to Be Kidding Me said...

Man. I thought I was losing my cranium the other day. It said you had a post, but when I clicked on it, no post. I thought I'd been the one who had six mini-bottles of rum. Thanks for clearing that up for me! I feel better!

kaiba-katt said...

Good stuff, Allie. I hope you like your new home! And don't worry about the drunk post; I'm pretty sure we've all had one of those days... Maybe not in the exact same way.

Toe said...

It's not alcoholism when you drink out of those little mini bottles, they don't count as real drinking anyway. When you get to 4-7 big bottles then we'll have the intervention.

Michael D. Lockhart said...

That is superliciously full of awesome awesomeness. This is the satart of something big, I can tell.

Er, I'm talking about the drunk, live blogging. You knew that, right? We like you drunk. (I'm not enabling you at all...)

The cartoon is also frighteningly funny and has enormous commercial appeal. You should look into that.

Richard Wyrick said...

oh my god you found your new place then :) does this mean we will get semi-regular posts again?

it's nice to have you back :)

Nick said...

Awesomesauce! I've never been to Montana but Bend is cool. If you can write your blog and articles from anywhere you can travel when you want!

Brandi said...

Is it weird that I got sad when I realized you probably wouldn't be posting any crazy "we had to hunker down in the livingroom because we don't have heat and the orks and rapists might get us" stories now that you're in Oregon?

I suppose there are probably orks and rapists there too...but the hilarity of your experiences with them are increased exponentially when you're pictured in 10 layers of clothes next to ice monster covered windows...

Dr. Kawfi said...

Welcome to Oregon!
Its pretty nice here, but there's lots of rain.

Hope you like it.

wildflower said...

Don't you EVER bury a post again!! I am super lazy and will NOT scroll down and I HATE missing anything you write! ANYTHING! Please also inform us (maybe on facebook?) when you post for The Gloss please, please?

Haeraticus said...

Welcome to Bend! There's actually a pretty large group of us Hyperbole followers here, and we are more than happy to have you join the rank of Bendites!

laura said...

If I blogged drunk I'd probably be funnier. And holy shit, you were moving? Not. Enough. Alcohol.

jennifer said...

all of my boyfriend's family lives in bend oregon! Bend & burns. you picked the best out of the two, good luck!

J said...

I love you Allie. Your blogs make me happy (even the ones you think are crappy) <3

bluzdude said...

Wow... I have a friend that used to live in Bend. We went up for his wedding... such a beautiful area. I'm sure you'll be happy there!

(Although it seems like misery makes for funnier posts.)

Miss Nikki said...

Riiiiight... or you got smashed, woke up in Bend Oregon and started waving at the stuffed scarecrows in the yard next to you. Been there, done that then blogged about it too!

melissa said...

kapow indeed.

jess said...

Welcome to Oregon! We're glad to have you :)

Also: this morning I had a massage to fix my messed-up runner body, and I kept thinking, "be like a noodle, be like a noodle" when it was all hurty. ... but all of a sudden, I thought, "be like a SPAGHATTA NADLE!" and pretty much spent the rest of the time trying not to burst out laughing while this poor massage therapist was massaging my butt. So, thanks for that?

RoyaRose said...

Welcome to Bend and to Oregon! Oregon is amazing, Portland is rad, and Bend is beautiful. Also, if you are bored the weekend of December 11th, you should totally head down to the Deschutes Brewery on the river for the National Cyclocross championships. Why? Cause there's beer, people on bikes in the mud, and a really rad drum group called The Last Regiment of Syncopated Drummers. (Truth in advertising - I'm in the really rad drum group) Beer, drums, and crazy muddy cyclists in an obstacle course. How else could it get better?

andygirl said...

welcome to Oregon!!!

azdisciplenc said...

And so that was made of awesome. So glad you've escaped the desolate wasteland known as Montana.

CkretsGalore said...

Funny, I just send your How to make showers Awesome Again post around the office here.
Now there's a video?!? BADASS.

Korey said...

Your drunken post was awesome. I was dying when I saw this:

"Sorry dude. I can't live up to your expectations all of the time. Sometimes I'm going drink six miniature bottles of rum and then draw horses. That's just the way the world works."

Don't hide the post, it was really really good. Seriously. :)

Tamara Mac said...

I don't lift things.

Every time I go I come dangerously close to falling over in public.

Benjamin Sutton said...

You should totally upload the picture you drew of your doggy, (maybe upload it to the hyperboleandahalf Facebook page?)

Ashli said...

Welcome to Oregon, Allie!

Ain't it great? :)

Starle said...

Congrats Allie!I've spend the day reading back through your blog from the beginning. (again. ahem.)
Just have fun with it and keep doing what you are doing!
I just got my first 'Love me?' tee-shirt. Now my kids want 'Allie shirts' too.
We all love you alot.
;)

Anonymous said...

Hope you have a good time in Oregon. You should move closer to Washington next. Then I can get your autograph. :D
Anyways, you are epic, and the video was perfect. It matches the voice in my head that screams.
Even in your drunken haze, it is incredible.

Love you, and again, hope you enjoy your time in Oregon.

Emilia Torre said...

Every day at work is "drunken live post day" for me.

Squid said...

Allie, moving is hard. :) Your posts are YOUR posts, and I personally enjoy every one of them, no matter if they better or worse than the last one. All your posts are awesome, even that drunk one. Don't sweat those super critical people, write when you can, about what you want, and know that plenty of people are happy with whatever you choose to do. You're not our personal comedy servant, expected to crank out high quality posts on a regular basis. :)
Also, Welcome to the Pacific Northwest! I agree, the air here is absolutely wonderful. :)

tiffibean13 said...

Allie, I'm so devastated you moved.
My friends and I are all huge fans, and we were going to drive to Montana to meet you over winter break. But Oregon is too far :(

Anonymous said...

Shh. You over-analyze too much, and in the end, if you truly believe your last post was fail-blog worthy, then you're still 99.9999% awesome. That's math for you. :)

Hulda said...

Congratulations on the move! I helped some friends moving yesterday - 4 flights of stairs, no elevator = Yay pain!
FYI your glory has reached Iceland - my friends and I love your blog!

CNH said...

It was perfection. Really. It was SO bad, it was hilarity. Love you drunk and sober and whacked out sick and whatever else. :)

BilleeJean said...

PLEASE please please post that picture of your dog.

Simple Dude said...

Moving STINKS with a capital STINKS. I moved a couple weeks back and am just now starting to feel settled in!

SD
http://simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com/

Kimberly said...

Count me as another person who dearly loved your drunken post. Congrats on your move to Oregon! I love it there and hope you will be happy.

Harriet Olivia said...

I like that the drawing of adult you lying against the box you've failed to lift is pretty similar to childhood you against the cake-theft-prevention box in front of the fridge from the Never-Not-Awesome God of Cake Post.

Plus ca change...

Hannah said...

You know prior to this post I wasn't worried about you retreating into a life of substance abuse and failure, but now it seems the lady doth protest too much. You're doomed, Brosh, DOOMED!!!!

...Except maybe not.

Johnny Utah said...

You've written drunken blogs before. What's the difference?

Also, you might just be a highly functioning alcoholic.

Sarah said...

Why Bend? Portland, or even Eugene seem like the better choices, yes?

alwayscoffee said...

That video was awesome -- it nearly made me spit Dr. Pepper, which would've been a soda-based tragedy.

Moving = evil. The sight of bubble paper makes me twitchy.

Dawn said...

Oregon is the second best place to live next to Montana. I know the Bitterroot Valley won't be the same without you!

Can't wait to see your next post! I think you needed a break from moving, hence the little bottles episode. I've always had faith in you - well, since I found your blog, anyhow!

Tiffiny said...

Hey! So you made the move to Bend. Welcome! I live in Bend too. It's a great place to take a few deep breaths, isn't it? Feel free to use your super creepy skills and find me if you're looking for a tourguide. I'll help if I can - though I promise nothing perfect. :)

FALEN AKA THUNDERCAT832 said...

That was the most kick ass thing I've seen since I was in rehab! I don't have to be blasted out of my mind to enjoy this!!

...my counselor and brain cells thank you ;)

Andie's Going MAD said...

I love this site and have now back read every entry, laughing along the way and giving angry scowls at my co-workers/boss when they ask me kindly to get back to work. Puleeeeese don't bother me while I'm laughing, I say. I look forward to your new posts! I have never been to Oregon, but I hope the move was successful (in that no one died).

Whitney Patterson said...

yay oregon!!! I live there!!! I love it. and don't worry, even if you were an alcoholic we would still love you. at least I would. haha

Anonymous said...

I'm always telling people that no one can be reasonable ALL the time, which everyone likes hearing. I'm sure it must be even more ridiculous to try to be HILARIOUS all the time. I can't even think about it. Don't try to do that :)

ODawn said...

I love, LOVE Bend. A great place

Mr Farty said...

I love you.

ThomasT said...

No montage has ever reached out to me so much. I especially like "betrayal" that was pretty engaging. Yeah, I'm new to this whole BLOG scene and I just wanted to say that I really enjoy reading yours.

Kate the Great said...

Yay for Oregon. Of course you moved to the wrong side of the mountains, but at least you are in Oregon. You ought to come check out Corvallis sometime. It's an awesome place to spend an Autumn day.

Welcome to Oregon.

Mia said...

YAY!!!!!!!!! I live in Bend too!!!! Welcome to town!!

Jena said...

Welcome to Oregon! We are the land of everything awesome. You chose wisely.

Kira wightman said...

Welcome to Oregon! And thank you for making stalking you so much easier...it felt like the right thing to say. Good luck with finishing up that move and looking forward to more funny!

matt said...

... but why live in bend when you could live in portland? Actually, bend does have some cool stuff there, I just get nervous when I visit towns whose entire downtown area is the equivalent of a city neighborhood. :]

Kaninrail said...

The drunken post was totally awesome, so don't be ashamed of it (also I was encouraging you on twitter and would hate to think I helped lead you on a path of self-loathing!)

Ali said...

We live in the same state now! :D

britta is an asshole said...

i'd like you to know that your writing inspires me.

i'm not sure if you should be proud or ashamed of yourself for inadvertently encouraging an idiot like me, but your honesty makes me feel a little less shitty about myself, and for that, i thank you.

Rebecca said...

I used my own t-rex arms to help a fellow t-rex friend move this morning! I hope your move involved more cars and fewer stairs than Paris moves (métro+ fifth floor walk up = even more agonizing that the Sueeve shower hammer)

http://jadork.blogspot.com/

Feather said...

Yay, you did move to Bend!! Welcome! =) And I agree with the others, I liked your drunk post.

Ashley, the Accidental Olympian said...

If it was humanly possible to make sweet sweet love to Bend, OR I would.

Twice.

bugsii said...

allie, i have started from post #1 and am reading like a maniac through all your posts and laughing out loud. my wife says i'm an adult who's learned to function with ADD/ADHD so you write a bunch of stuff i think but never say/do. i didn't realize my brain was so funny. you are awesome and rule the internet.

stinkerbelle said...

The Awesomeness that is Allie rides again! Yaaaaaaay!

JSitterley said...

Oregon = Pre = Yay running!

Elisa Yzaguirre said...

I found you and your awesomeness just as you left to go apartment hunting. So happy you are back! Drunk, slightly buzzed, sober, whatever - you make me smile. :)See?

Mama Bee said...

Welcome to Oregon, dear girl!

I still just about wet my pants laughing every time I get to "Clean ALL the things?", which is probably equal testament to the quality of your cartoons and the extreme ease with which I am amused.

Anonymous said...

OMG, I have weirdly short arms, too! I never realized it until my sister pointed it out. "Thanks," sis.

Suzy Q

Heather said...

You freaking ROCK, Allie!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hooray for Oregon!
Pacific NW represent!

Allison said...

I did wonder where that post went.
Just want to say that the west coast is where it's at. Especially, you know, Vancouver. But Oregon is pretty awesome too. And I'm sure it's much better than Montana.
Also, the video is absolutely hilarious.

Ellie said...

Those boxes are such assholes.

IronVinyl said...

Speaking as a resident of the Bitterroot Valley, we all miss you already.

Kris said...

I envy you and your living in Oregon. I don't envy your moving situation, but you can have my sympathy if you'd like.

JANFITC said...

My grandparents moved to Bend when they retired ages ago....then they died. I'm not sure if there is a correlation there, but I did visit a few times (more times for someone dying than just to be a good grandson) and it's a really nice place so I think I want to die there too, but not now (at least not right now - lunch was pretty good).

Anyway, I like your blog, but I don't think that you are past your prime such that you need to move to an old place and die. Please keep up the amazingly entertaining work!

Katie said...

Yea!! Bend rocks :) Glad you will be happy there. That means more hilarious posts for the rest of us to read while we are living in dreary & mundane places like Fresno, CA.

EmEeeKay said...

I just made it all the way through your archive. Holy sheetcakes, lady, you are effing hilarious. Your drawings are pretty much my favorite drawn things in the entire universe.

Swistle said...

I liked you MORE, and GEEZ, that probably INCREASES the pressure, DAMMIT. But dude, next time give advanced warning to I can drink it up too.

KodaBear said...

Yay, you're back! I've been checking your site everyday since "The God of Cake" was posted. That makes me seem obsessive, but I don't care. Your posts are hilarious!

lady_mason said...

I am sad there will be no more orc rape. :*(

Andy said...

I've been reading Stephen King's memoir. He knew he was an alcoholic once Maine started to recycle cans/bottles; that's when he saw how many "soldiers" he killed in a week.

I love the drink (I only get a serious drink on 2-3 times a year). However, when I've felt I needed to drink I've made sure I haven't.

Here is a comedy bit I did with xtranormal:

http://www.laughinginpurgatory.com/2010/10/here-is-my-first-xtranormal-comedy-bit.html

Trabb's Boy said...

Aw, Allie,

I'm so sorry you're feeling pressured. You don't have to do these giant spectacular posts. You charm the pants off us all with plain old Spaghatta Nadle 'n stuff. Stress over the book you're going to write, not over the blog!

All the happy in your new home!

Moxie said...

I'd still love you even if you did become a despondent, t-rex withered arm alcoholic. <3

Our kind needs to stick together.

Liz said...

Places to eat/drink in Bend:
Bend Brewing Company (try their microbrews and BBC nachos)
Baldy's BBQ
Dandy's
Pilot Butte Burgers
Big O Bagels
Longboard Louie's
Bendistillery
The Downtowner
The Produce Patch

Braden said...

OMG I LIVE IN OREGON TOOOOOOOOOOO

Sara said...

Congratulations on your move to a place with joy-air. It sounds marvelous.

Please don't be ashamed of your drunk-post. Or, if you are, I will have to join you. Fears of inadequacies, I haz 'em. But I think you are great and have no fears of YOUR inadequacy at all.

(I mistyped that as "YORU" and almost left it that was because it was more honest. But then I decided I'd rather be understood.)

Hugs.

Whitney said...

Welcome to Oregon! It's a pretty swell state, if I do say so myself. Come to Eugene sometime.

-Amber said...

Welcome to Oregon. Luckily for you most of the bush hippies live in the valley and do not make it over the pass to often. Lack of motorized transportation seems to inhibit them from traveling to far.

wenderlah said...

Allie,
You’re blog is absolutely hysterical. Last week I found myself crying from laughter as I read. Pretty much you are a comic genius and I bow to your skill.
Over the past year and a half I have helped make you Champion of the Internet and I was hoping that now you could help make me champion of the Pepsi Refresh Challenge. As champion of the internet you can reach a lot of people and I was hoping that you could tell all those people to vote for my school’s project lest they be killed by evil monsters living in your house. I know you have a lot of followers on Twitter and on all your blogs. My club would like to make my school district the first solar district in the country. Please visit www.parkwaysolar.org for details on how to vote for us. If we win, I will make sure the entire world knows of your greatness.
Thank you,
Wendy

Jodi said...

Yay! Welcome to Pacific Northwest! Not to be totally creepy but I live like 3hrs north of you now. Bend is awesome, I love it there. Whenever I drive to visit my family in CA I always have to stop in Bend for a little while.

Hairburger said...

If you live in Oregon, are you an Oregoni? and does that mean you can fold paper into animals and stuff?

S said...

You are entirely too beloved and as such my comment will get totally buried (geez, it wasnt that long a flight - I can't check Facebook every moment) but I am also excited that you have moved to Bend, which I LOVE, even though I can't welcome you as authentically as others as I live in Seattle and only claim Bend as occasional vacation spot and frequent work travel destination for •my• Boyfriend. I had previously believed in Montana only as a theoretical type of place, and now that you have moved it can regress back to a fictional state like Minnesota and Nebraska that occurs only in movies and college football.

Sarah P said...

You're obviously very responsible and adult now. The transformation is complete.

Allie Brosh: blogger, draw-er, awesome person, grown up.

Anna said...

I am pathetically weak and also move far too frequently. By far the best option is to find a strong guy friend to help. Or three. Preferably with a truck.
On one of my moves I was putting everything in storage. At the storage place while I was paying and signing contract, friends decided it would be fun to try to move everything before I got back. They were proud they succeeded. I was shocked that I didn't have to move any of my own things.

Anna said...

I am pathetically weak and also move far too frequently. By far the best option is to find a strong guy friend to help. Or three. Preferably with a truck.
On one of my moves I was putting everything in storage. At the storage place while I was paying and signing contract, friends decided it would be fun to try to move everything before I got back. They were proud they succeeded. I was shocked that I didn't have to move any of my own things.

Maru said...

Bend, Oregon? Meep!! I'm in Salem!

I COULD TOTALLY STALK YOU. Except I would just get lost so don't worry.

Oregon is win though. We have the best weather. :P

Leigh Royals said...

Hugs on the move. Here's some virtual chocolate. I'd give you ibuprofen, but I'm worried about your ulcer. Rest, water and warm compresses will help any muscle aches. But of course, as a runner, you knew that.

So. Chocolate.

lex said...

Moving is horrible, but even though I also have little arms, I've convinced myself (but not others) that I am the strongest person in the world to make the moving less painful.
On another note, I feel like we're the same person. And to most people that would be creepy, but I hope you understand. The drinking post just showed another side of your awesomeness.

NicholeLA said...

ALLIIIIIIEEEEE! BEND?!? Omg. You are so much closer to Portland now! COME VISIT US! We will feed you good foods. No more orc/rapist basement?! SO exciting! Why did you move? Is it super secret? That's okay. It's fun to imagine the reasons. You should make a flip book of one of your wonderful drawings, print 1,000,000 copies, then come to Powell's here in Portland and have a 'signing' so we can all MEAT you! Wouldn't that be a treat?!! Eeeeeeeeee!

Um, I still want to be pals forever. I hope you love Oregon as much as we Oregonians do. That is A LOT. A LOT! ;)

<3Nichole

Anonymous said...

Damn funny, and my expectations are doing just fine, thanks. ;)

Benjamin Sutton said...

BTW, you totally need to add "God Of Cake" to your "Best Of" section, I think many (if not all) of your fans will agree it is one of your best posts of all time.

Anonymous said...

I love the blog! AND now you're in Oregon! I am in Oregon! I am glad you like it up here. (I am not really from Oregon but am in Oregon.)

I share your wonderfulness around my friends. I think at least four check weekly. I am also glad you keep writing and drawing. They cheer me up. Just like today.

Thanks for being a force on internets!

J'Aime said...

Woo! Welcome to Oregon, Allie! Bend is pretty much awesome, so have fun!

Brianne said...

The video is awesome. It's like a mix between that Old Spice guy on the horse ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpUrz9RvuPk&feature=channel ) and PowerThirst ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs ).

Eating fruit? Drawing your dog? Waving pleasantly? Definitely not a despondent, irreversibly damaged drunk. You're pretty much a model citizen. Especially for Oregon. :D

Rianna Sandiford said...

Welcome to Bend Allie! I was born and raised here :) You're just in time for the snow. Watch, it'll dump buckets of snow and get you super duper excited for a white Christmas, and then be totally dry come December 25th. I hope you like it here!

Jenna said...

The video was epic. :D

Allie, you're amazing. I never even considered that you were a despondent, irreversibly damaged drunk. You're just too AWESOME.

Keep posting, because I live off of your posts. They're a form of food to me.

Sorry, I'm kind of on a sugar high right now. :)

~Jen

reed said...

I loves it no matter what.
Keep writing and drawing and being awesome.
DON'T FORGET TO BE AWESOME.

Anonymous said...

GAAAH next time I'm in Bend I'm going to try and stalk you. you're much more accessible now and that makes me HAPPY!!!

Kate said...

I'm in Washington. You're in Oregon. You're my neighbor! Hi neighbor! Enjoy Bend, it's fantastic!

Anonymous said...

Oregon is a very lucky state.

Maru said...

I laughed a the soap post before. Now I'm laughing even more now that it has been animated. :D

Anonymous said...

you're awesome, and i love your blog, but can we not refer to alcoholics as "despondent, irreversibly damaged drunks"?

alcoholism is a disease a lot of people struggle with, and the social stigma makes it all the harder. and they're not "irreversibly damaged".

i'm 99% sure that that's not what you actually think, and it'd be 100% but i realized it would be creepy if i claimed to know exactly what you were thinking.

yeah, just thought i'd say that.

i also wanted to say you should always always keep writing because you're absolutely hilarious, i'm so glad my friends showed me this blog. it's really awesome. and the things you make in paint are fabulous. <3

Melissa said...

You could write posts like that one all the time and we'd read. You know why? Cause you're awesome and super funny and we don't care if you were more funny last Thursday or more funny today! And I love the blue pictures on that post. I'm totally making that my background!

Ginny said...

Holy crap Bend is full of awesome and WIN, especially in the winter. But then I became aware of Bend back when I was living in Eugene, which was full of mellow and passthedoob at the time, so what do I know?

Not that much, you?

PS that was the most incredible video ever in the history of videos. You must be so proud.

Ashley said...

I live in wilsonville OR! I'll be sure to hunt you down and watch you through your windows with binoculars. :D

Margo said...

Allie, you know we love you don't you? Also you bring awesomeness and hilarity into our lives. Congrats on thenew home. There are many interesting and eccentric aspects to life in Oregon. Nice people, although a few of them are quite nuts. Anyway moving is a traumatic experience and I advise drinking every single time. There. I said it even if no one else will fess up to it! ::hugs Allie::

Sarie V said...

Oregon is better now that you're here! YAY!

Sas said...

ha we love you in this household. You are definitely one of my avourite parts of the internet.

P.S the drunk post was also hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Welcome to Oregon! You live about 20 minutes away from me!

JS said...

You are awesome. Oregon is awesome. I admit to a sigh of relief at finding out that Awesome Boyfriend has also moved to Oregon (thank you, less-shy person, for coming out and asking)!

Tianna said...

You'll never love another part of the country in the same way that you'll find yourself loving the Pacific Northwest. Make sure to check out Portland, Seattle, the Olympic peninsula, and Vancouver (BC, not OR, my old band played a gig there and... yea...), to name a few. And, not surprisingly, I have passed your blog along to everyone I know. I've read every post and unabashedly look forward to the next. I hope you find the most comfortable way, for you, to base your living on your wit and pointedly intelligent writing. Those with talent deserve to live for, and on, it. Let me know if you ever need a place to stay in Seattle. My bf and I have a spare room, and only funny people are allowed in. Cheers.

Shannon J. said...

Welcome to the P-N-Dub! Now you are required to wear socks with your sandles and drink a lot of coffee all the time. Make sure you bring a sweater/sweatshirt/raincoat with you wherever you go because it can be snowing and 32 below in the morning and then 78 an blazing hot in the afternoon, and pouring down rain all at once. We are so stoked that you have joined us!!!! WELCOME!!

Catherine said...

Hilarious. The video is awesome. Also, the picture is EXACTLY how I feel about moving.

...but hey, maybe your place won't be quite so....squalorish....as the pictures on facebook make your old place seem....

JS said...

Oh, what I was going to say was that moving is one of those Top Ten Most Stressfullest Things Ever on those surveys of "AM I GOING TO DIE TOMORROW?" so the idea of beating yourself up because you took time off from being hilarious on the Internets is silly. We're all just happy you didn't keel over from the stressfulness.

ᑭᓐᓇᕆ said...

I love you and feel like you should be my wife.

Jessica said...

Good move! I love the Pacific Northwest!

Jordan said...

Welcome to the West Coast Allie!! I'm in California only nine and a half hours away from you! Ahem, not that I'm going to stalk you or anything creepy like that...

Actually, I just moved too this past Thursday (and totally missed out on Halloween because of it, which made it even suckier), but my move was only a half hour away. I did have to do lots of heavy lifting all by myself and I'm only 4'11" so it was like your montage was drawn just for me! I think I lifted some of my stuff on sheer adrenaline alone. I even fit a filing cabinet in my two door coupe, and then it took me forever to figure out how to get it out again. I was almost resigned to driving around with a filing cabinet in the back seat forever, when I finally got it out by poking a small hole in the back of one of the front seats! Sigh, moving totally sucks the life out of you, to the point where you don't care about putting holes in your car seats.

Anyway, I know how you feel. I hope you like Oregon better than Montana.

Tianna said...

(Oh... and... at least you know that you've left the crazy foul behind... no more feathered living room attacks, yes?)

bethie said...

Welcome to Oregon!

Moving sucks, and unpacking and organizing almost sucks worse. It took me nearly seven months to get totally unpacked and organized in my place. I was gonna finally hang the rest of my pictures and wall art when I found out that my rent is gonna skyrocket after my year lease ends this month. So much for hanging my pictures. Now I'm apartment shopping. :/

Don't be like me, lol.

...And stop doubting yourself. There is no need, it only makes you your own worst enemy.

Anonymous said...

Glad to see our old Allie back!

I love bubble wrap said...

Don't worry about the substances. Yesterday I had vodka for breakfast, and a dinner of halloween candy and wine. And you know what? It was a great day. Go ahead world: JUDGE.

Dinjin201 said...

Hahahahah Collin's Video was AWESOME!!!!

Also, great post. I bet you were also traumatized because of your previous experiences with heavy boxes (in front of the fridge, barring you from reaching a cake)

Take care. and keep being awesome! haha.

Skyler said...

One of my favorite breweries is in Bend! It's called Deschutes; you should check it out. See, I love your blog, so you know I have good taste in things.

Plus you'll be a short road trip away from Seattle, or even Big Sur, CA! I'm getting jealous.
Anyway, big fan, and I wish you the best.

Steve said...

Bend is wonderful! I lived there for a few months and hope to move back someday.

10 THINGS YOU CAN DO IN BEND:
1) Climb/Drive to the top of Pilot Butte (it will help you get a feel for how the city is laid out so you can find your way around)
2) Go to a concert at McMenamin's or The Kilns
3) Explore the lava caves (it sounds lame and tourist-y but it's incredibly fun unless your lantern/flashlight goes out in which case it's terrifying)
4) Dumpster dive (it's not gross: Village Baker on Knoll throws out a ton of really delicious and totally fresh bread every night--Trader Joe's on the north side of town throws out great produce--Grocery Outlet is always full of surprises when the dumpsters aren't locked)
5) Smith Rock (even if you're not a climber, there's a lot of hiking and a great campground with incredible starry skies)
6) Thump--best coffeeshop in the country
7) NEVER GET IN A CAR ACCIDENT THANKS TO THE AMAZING ROUNDABOUTS
8) Try to find the ghosts in the smoke stacks in the old mill district
9) Float the Deschutes river (again, less lame than it sounds)
10) Get a Black Butte Porter at Deschutes Brewery

Steve said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Angie Queen said...

Ohgod, there's so many comments here xD
I've been comment stalking, and some of them are just as funny as your blog. Except this comment, this one is boring.

I love you 8'|
I've been waiting for a new blog so I could comment one one without feeling like a creepy stalker

miss_musician said...

Oregon is amazing. :)

lyndsey said...

well you just moved to the best state in the country.

Guy90210 said...

I used to live in Oregon... it was ok
It deffinately doesn't get as fucking cold as it does in, like, Canada but it still gets cold. Pretty much all you need is a puffy sweatshirt and a good pair of sweatpants and your good... and maybe a laser gun for all those Oregonese Zombies

Margaret said...

Why did you move? And why wasn't Boyfriend there to help you out? Also, you should move in right next to me because then we could be best friends and and have sleepovers and stuff

Yandie, Goddess of Pickles. said...

Short stubby arms and the presence of boobs are why I am certain us women are not physically meant to move things.

And, in case it's ever relevant to you, it's good advice not to attempt humour while moving pianos.

I had to learn the hard way.

Rumiel said...

I'm from Portland, Oregon.. Oregon si like the most amazing state you could ever live in.. ;3; I miss it, take me with you girly.. *whines and clings*

Erin said...

I have to say your drawing describes how I feel every time I move. After moving 8 times in 2 years I would have though I gained the ability to levitate the boxes with my mind, however I was mistaken. Now I just stare at them thinking "Nope."

Changmi said...

Yay! I hope this means your next post is about your dog. I can't believe you have such an awesome/goofy dog and have only written one post about it so far.

Rumiel said...

Oh, and also, we just moved this last weekend ourselves, even with help, it was a very sore and tense move, and my mom tried to HOARD ALL THE THINGS (she's trying to throw out more now though, thank god).
She reads here, too so now she randomly will say "____ ALL the things!" To whatever situation it applies to, whether it's clean, watch, pack, move, sort.. etc, she's barely 41, and I think you're her idol :P

katie said...

Allie, you are AMAZING. i love allll of your posts, and you make me smile even when i dont feel like smiling, so THANK YOU! :)

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