A News Update, a Dramatic Montage and a Video Animation

My friend Colin made a fantastic animation based on one of my old posts:


I'm pretty sure Colin would be totally pumped to get some recognition for his hard work, so if you're feeling helpful, you can go over to Newgrounds and rate the video and/or leave a comment.  If you're confused about how to rate things on Newgrounds, go here.  I have provided a handy screenshot with a giant yellow arrow and some helpful instructions.

In other news, I recently moved to Bend, Oregon because it is quite possibly the best place on earth and just breathing the air here is like huffing joy and celebration.  The bad news is that I've been busy using my shriveled, little t-rex arms in a mismatched battle with heavy boxes and furniture.


Perhaps the exhaustion and feelings of physical inadequacy involved in the move caused me to be slightly more vulnerable than usual, but a few days ago, I wrote this post.  Which I promptly buried below my other posts because it is shameful and it could possibly be interpreted in a way that would make me look like an alcoholic.  

Anyway, I'm working on a new post and, despite signs to the contrary, I'm not beginning an agonizing retreat into a life of substance abuse and failure.  In fact, just this morning, I ate fruit, drew a picture of my dog and then later waved pleasantly at a person passing by on the street.  Is that something that a despondent, irreversibly damaged drunk would do?  Kapow. Totally logical and irrefutable rebuttal to your possible doubts.

582 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   401 – 582 of 582
Michelle said...

Hey, Allie :D
I saw The Oatmeal referenced you in one of his recent posts. Looks like you're on your way to being the most famous person ever! I love your comics, I wait impatiently for the next one constantly, and I hope you keep finding the inspiration to entertain so many people. Cheers!
-Michelle

Anonymous said...

It occurred to me that you might be mentally unstable once or twice. But now I believe you're some kind of internet messiah and we should all be like you and devour cakes and think of burritos, fighter planes and tyrannosaurus-rexes on a regular basis.

Thank you. I feel so much more enlightened now.

Doctora-in-Training said...

welcome to Oregon. Bend is pretty nice, check out the area west of you in the summer if you like camping/ hiking/ outdoors stuff (South Sister, Cascade Hwy esp Devils Lake). It's a little cold for me there, so I'm in Portland- which is the nearest big city at a few hours away if you ever want to see prime examples of traffic and slow driving on freeways.

Anonymous said...

The seventh concentric circle of hell is actually frozen; so one couldn't burn there. Someone needs to read more. Sheesh!

Sara said...

I'm totally going to Bend tomorrow!

Anonymous said...

I remember the name of the frozen yogurt place now, it's CuppaYo. Go there. Be amazed.

Haley

Johi said...

Moving makes anyone want to drink. When we moved to our new house we did it with the help of our friends Gin and Tonic.

Haley said...

Oh, and climb Mt. Tumalo! It's the first mountain I ever climbed (which means it's good for beginners. Not that I'm saying you're not active or that I'm judging your most recent post about being exhausted from moving, anything. I mean, you run, right? So that's legit.)

Haley

Dakez said...

This gives me more incentive to organize a brewery tour of Oregon.

Anonymous said...

I grew up there, I hope you enjoy it! :D

Anonymous said...

Your friend sounds SO INCREDIBLY MANLY in the audio for that flash animation video! *snerk* *ROFL*

Sarah said...

Saw on Twitter you got engaged. So, congrats on being engaged!

Kristen said...

I feel compelled to warn you about your new hometown:
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2012426681_geesedinner23.html

Jillian Raftery said...

ACK, what about boyfriend?????

(actually, you don't have to answer that... probably too personal.)

But I hope you love Oregon! I'm from Seattle and I can tell you, the area is awesome!

David said...

Really like the video, but it seems awfully derivative...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs

Jess said...

Love this! I want to move...Iowa is shit and full of stupid people everywhere who DON'T wave back. PS: Moar about the dog, please. My cats like it when I read to them aloud about your dog. :D

Anonymous said...

I love you so much! Welcome to Oregon, it's pretty sweet here. I just had to do the creepy fan thing, complete with heavy breathing, and tell you that I adore your blog, and you're super neat.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I've been pretty down lately - several of my good friends reckon I probably have depression - but, fortunately, I managed to stumble upon your blog, which, every time i look at it, has me giggling like an idiot - even when i'm re-reading posts I've already read before. I'm pretty sure my housemates think I'm insane for the amount of giggling I do.

Thus, I just wanted to say that you are a wonderful person, and have bought me much laughter of late. Your blog makes me want to marry you, and then divorce you just so that I can marry you again. Thanks for cheering me up :-)

TheWanderWoman said...

So your moving montage reminded me of this one time I was in college in rural Minnesota and it was the coldest winter on record so far. And one day, my mom sent me a big box. It was probably full of cool stuff. But the post office was probably almost half a mile from the dorm, it was like -25 outside, and I was naturally wearing mittens and a giant parka. I remember stopping in the biology building and crying near the iguana cage out of sheer weakness and the frustration that comes of carrying a heavy box while wearing knit mittens and a coat that makes you twice your normal size.

Thanks for the memories.
;)

Anonymous said...

Bend!! My husband's family are all in Bend. Whenever we go up to visit (twice a year, two weeks each), I have the best time of my life. This might be related to his family being awesome, but I'm sure most of it is due entirely to the amazingness of Bend. ;) We keep hoping to move up there, but so far there haven't been any jobs in my husband's industry. Very sad!

SeriouslyThough said...

I never quite know what to say after I read a post of yours, because I honestly feel like it could never come out clever or honest or exciting enough to prove to you that you are like my long-lost (possibly conjoined) twin. To clarify that, I would be the shrively little mutant twin who needs your brain and possibly part of a lung to function.

Anyhow, you seriously made an otherwise godawful shitstorm of a week totally hopeful within a matter of minutes. Thank you for what you do!!! Keep Rockin!!

Anonymous said...

Welcome to Oregon! You have provided this Portland household and all the households around it with hours of endless entertainment. We are happy to have you as one of us. One of us!

Notenoughmonsters said...

Congratulations on the engagement! You guys seem to be a great couple :o) (I too am engaged, let's see if you can procrastinate over the wedding as long as we have...)

Alex :D said...

Wow you just keep getting close and closer to B.C.

soon you'll be here, with us candians, then you'll be here with us vancouverites, THEN YOU'LL BE HERE IN MY HOUSE

no lie


but in all seriousness, I'm so glad you moved to oregon!

it maeks me alot happie :DD

Alex :D said...

Wow you just keep getting close and closer to B.C.

soon you'll be here, with us candians, then you'll be here with us vancouverites, THEN YOU'LL BE HERE IN MY HOUSE

no lie


but in all seriousness, I'm so glad you moved to oregon!

it maeks me alot happie :DD

Abigail said...

Your blog is the most inspirational thing I've read on the internet. It makes me want to write! I found the time to read your entire back catalog including cracked articles this past week even with college and a small baby! You're wonderful.


Then I found a facebook game you MUST have created. It's completely amazing... look for 'Robot Unicorn Attack'.

Karadactyl said...

nevermind, I found pictures of the puppies on the Hyperbole and a Half facebook page!! THEY ARE ADORABLE!!!

Christine Ennis said...

YAY COLIN!!!

Fred Miller said...

We're all irreversibly damaged, my child. A buddy of mine in karate class broke his hand trying to break a brick for his black belt. And you can always sober up. But his hand is screwed! It's the second time he's broken it. I'll take drunkeness any day.

Chance Loves Destiny

Fred Miller said...

We're all irreversibly damaged, my child. A buddy of mine in karate class broke his hand trying to break a brick for his black belt. And you can always sober up. But his hand is screwed! It's the second time he's broken it. I'll take drunkeness any day.

Chance Loves Destiny

kyouell said...

Just wanted to be the jazillionth person to say welcome to Oregon.

Darrell said...

Heh Colin's video is amazing. It has "Powerthirst Ripoff" written all over it but that's okay because it's awesome and he's your friend, which makes it even more awesome. It was great reliving one of my favorite posts by you in video-form, so to speak. Love you, Allie.

I mean that like, as a dedicated reader. Not like, I'm going to find you and take pictures of you. Although... I probably could now. I visit Seattle every year, which is "kind of" close to you now... right?

... right?

Anonymous said...

Allie, you're so great. The rest of us worry about expectations, too. And we haven't even done anything to make people HAVE expectations.

Love your drunk blog post.

MyStolenDream said...

I would like to start out by saying this:
you=awesome
And coming from me, this means alot (monster)

Also, this video and the majority of your other posts=awesome as well

So that makes you=awesome^infinity
and that's pretty darned awesome.

Anyway, that is all :D

Emily said...

Welcome to Oregon =)

I moved here three years ago and can guarantee you are going to love it. If I ever see you I will wave. You won't know it's me or anything but its the thought that counts right?

Anonymous said...

Oh, man, I just found this blog and it's the best thing ever. Hooray!

Ashley said...

Oh my God, I grew up there. The internet and the real world just crashed together in an explosion of awesome that I am entirely incapable of properly comprehending.

Next time I'm back for the summer and go back to work, I'll make sure to bring up HaaH to all of my customers as a means of seeking you out. And that is not creepy at all. :D

Marisa et al said...

drunk posting or not, you're a joy to read.
"Every time I write something new, I feel like I need to make it better than whatever I wrote before it so that it never appears as though I am regressing."
that line from your previous post sums up the reason i've pretty much stopped blogging. nice to know others think the same. i shall keep trying.

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Katie said...

so i really need you to start posting again.

i have officially read all of your posts, and now i am faced with actually studying for the LSAT.

please don't make me do it.

congrats on the engagement, by the way.

<3

mercedes said...

i am of the personal belief that drunken blog post are:

a. hilarious
b. your duty as an internet journalist
c. reprehensible
d. all of the above

You're both A and B. But not C... So you can't be all of the above. But you can't fill in two ovals!

Although actually, it is e: both a and b. Keep up the good work, Allie!

KatieMac said...

To me its so awesome to hear someone actually WANTS to move to Bend, OR. I grew up there, and just recently moved to Seattle. Luckily my family is still there so I fly down often. Glad your enjoying it Allie!

Anonymous said...

Look, I do a crappy, amateurish comic strip for a local paper. They don't even pay me. I've got a twelve year old stalker fan who loves it. I don't even know if anyone else even sees the fucking thing. But the pressure that little kid puts on me to keep producing is HUGE. I fear that if I don't make a really, really good comic every stinkin week, somehow he will decide to abandon his artistic dreams, and then all his other dreams, and then life. And it will be my fault. I spend hours upon hours agonizing over being funny enough to be worthy of one pre-adolescent kid's admiration. So I totally get it. You've got thousands of people reading your stuff - which must be a little suffocating. Don't apologize. Just like you said in the drunk post: Fuck that guy. He doesn't deserve blue.

Laurel said...

I'm a completely random stranger but your entire blog is awesome and it GAVE ME A HEARTATTACK to read that you moved, and then think that you might have moved away from boyfriend, so I stalked through these comments until I found proof that love still exists. Thank fucking christ. BTW I live in Alaska, which is like Montana except possibly more insane.

Mama-Beans said...

So you'll never see this buried on the bottom of 444 posts... but I've been reading you for just over a year, and OMG small world. Welcome to Bend, my hometown! Central Oregon is absolutely beautiful, you're going to love it here!

Kimberlyand said...

I am sad that you have hidden the drunk post. You've written drunk posts before!!! They've always been funny and I think it's silly to hide them. Now I have to remember that it's hidden here if I ever want to re-read it, haha.

Eh well, I guess I'll live :)

Thanks for the continued awesomeness.

Kimberlyand said...

Oh Nevermind. I just realized it's still here, just at the bottom of the page.

Carry on.

More blue, please.

Jessica s-j said...

Welcome to Oregon! You live in the same city as my brothers now! <3

Sarah said...

From one small town to another? Why bend?? Oh.. Bend.

Pattles said...

Hi! I've left a comment before as anonymous but you've inspired me to start blogging my stuff as well! You are HILARIOUS! And Oregon is the best :D You should really check out the coast, the capital, and most especially: Eugene! I'm a student at the University of Oregon and it is an amazing, diverse, and freakin SWEEEEEEET city.

The end.

Blank said...

Moving is a pain. Good luck!
PS, I liked the drunken blog post... it was really amazing but seems to have disappeared. :( this makes me sad.

Dan said...

Allie - you are awesome. I've only read two posts, but my proposal could no longer wait. Marry me.

Tyroan said...

Dude you should totally go to the cyclocross national championships in Bend in December. Its like running cross-country with a bike.

Be sure to say "Hi!" to me (I am the one who actually looks good in those funny shorts).

Anonymous said...

what the fuck happened to boyfriend. >:c

SelcouthWonders said...

Bend, Oregon?! I COULD PRACTICALLY COME SEE YOU RIGHT NOW.
. . .
Don't look our your window, I'm masturbating.

Peter said...

...All of the things you did this morning are consistent with what drunk people do. Eating, doing random stuff (like drawing random pictures), and obnoxiously waving to passersby who they don't know seems to be the norm amongst irreversibly inebriated people.

I think it's time for an intervention.

Doctorbyday said...

alcoholics are never funnyadorable.

you are funnyadorable.

therefore: you ≠ alcoholic.


(i really wish there was a "therefore" symbol...you know, the three little dots in a triangle that looks like the predators targeting system? alas. shalack).

Lizz-y said...

Oh my gosh! I live really close to Bend! Welcome to Central Oregon! Home of outdoorsy people, juniper trees, and deer!

Anonymous said...

THE *HIGH PRICE* OF REVOLUTION

***************************
http://www.youtube.com/user/xviolatex?feature=mhum
****************************

TechnoBabe said...

We just moved last weekend too and I tell you, we don't drink but it did make me wonder why not.

Fred Miller said...

Bend, Oregon is totally cool, by the way. When I was a trucker, I saw more real cowboys in central Oregon than I ever saw in Texas or Oklahoma.

Chance Loves Destiny

Antarian said...

PLEASE come back soon!!

In your absence I have started my own blog and so far all it has been about is crack dealers and shopping trolley battles.

If you come back, I will give you a llama!!!

Jess said...

Hey cool! I used to drive up to Bend every winter with my family. It's nice.

Anonymous said...

You're funny. Very entertaining.
http://inkorrigible.blogspot.com/

Mary Sue said...

I live in Portland! Let's hang out!

Greg said...

http://www.speakthemeep.blogspot.com/


check it.

Aurora said...

I just spent the last day reading all of your blog posts on this site. I'm not sure if that's creepy or not, but I throughly enjoyed it. Please keep at it!

stephanie said...

Welcome to Oregon! We are soon moving to Prineville, which is about 40 min away from you. I adore you and want to 'run into you' so I can lavish your exceptional mind with praise!

Anonymous said...

http://www.erepublik.com/en/referrer/No%27mos

Anonymous said...

Can we see the picture you drew of your dog? Love your posts Allie - whenever I'm at work and feeling the need to procrastinate, this is the first place I check to see if you've written something new :)


www.pocketcop.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Yayyy welcome to Oregon! :D

Hilary said...

You're in Oregon?! MAYBE I'LL GET TO MEET YOU ONE DAY. I'm in Salem.

Anonymo #10901 said...

Congrats on the big move Allie!

I have to say, that was the most amazing video ever, based on one of my favorite posts ever. It has defined the future purpose of my life. Yes, it's better than sex. Well... that's up for debate.

ANYWAYS. Looking forward to your next post :) Just remember, a good life achieves a balance of zen: some days you want a fighter jet, but other days you just need a nice hot burrito.

Direchihuahua said...

I think I'm addicted to your blog. It tastes like happy.

:D

Thank you for bringing it into existence and spewing your humor all over the internet.

Direchihuahua

GiggleBox said...

Rumor has it you got engaged! Congratulations :) I would love to see an illustrated post about it if it's not already in the works!

David & Laird said...

Lawl, your posts never fail to amuse Allie.

caitria said...

I just recently moved to oregon too! Portland though. Oregon is so amazing!

Lui said...

I'm jealous of Oregon.

Rob Ross said...

I bet you did real good. Keep up the good work, Allie. Waving pleasantly at passers-by is awesome in its' own right!

Anonymous said...

YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE DESCHUTES BREWERY IN DOWNTOWN BEND!!!

they serve Amazingness on a plate, and MagicFairiesAndButterflies in a glass. you definitely need to go!

here, i'm even giving you the link so that you can find it more easily:
http://www.deschutesbrewery.com/

mkelley said...

Nice blog posts i like you way of blogging keep it up.

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Anonymous said...

Love your stuff, Allie. But unfortunetly, I have some bad news: The video that someone made based on your awesome blog is a total rip off from a Powerthirst video. Google 'powerthirst' and 'picnicface' (they're the sketch comedy troup who made it) and you'll find it. It's a pretty blatant copy.

Kyle Morgan said...

Def a good choice on going to Oregon!

Fred Miller said...

One of these days, I'm going to head out into central Oregon and just get drunk in the first town where it feels right. I drink alone, so it should be easy to pick a place.

Smash Your Cake and Eat it Too

Anonymous said...

I'm gad you're not beginning an agonizing retreat into a life of substance abuse and failure :) I've been reading your blog (backwards, no less. confusing, i keep feeling like I should be reading from the bottom of the post to the top. i don't know why. but i'm in WAY too deep to stop now.)

Anyway, you're amazing and hilarious and if i were legally able to i would marry you. Thanks for brightening up my days :)

Anonymous said...

Congrats on your engagement! Tell the story!

Lilly said...

The brown haired guy goes super saiyan at 00:18. Muy epic.

Catherine said...

Allie, please never stop writing. My friend and I spent the other day in the library, not studying but instead nearly wetting ourselves with laughter over your blog. It brightens our otherwise dreary days!

Good luck in Oregon. Your t-rex arms will be MASSIVE GUNS when you're done moving.

Anonymous said...

Woman! You are awesome no matter what. You're smart and funny and seem so unhindered by inhibitions.

Don't let the blog die! Write write write! You're good enough for me!

Love! Love! Love and sparkles!

-LexieDi

Anaria said...

My dear, you simply can't take idiot comments so personally. There is one negative comment for every Gabillion positive comments. People comment negatively on news stories about President Carter being sick in the hospital. I recently had a friend complain about negative comments on her NYT letter to the editor in which she complained about being unemployed for 17 months. Why would anyone be mean about that unless they are idiot bloodsucking meanies? What you need to remember is that a certain percentage of mankind is an indistinguishable variety of bloodsucking jerks. If you remember that, you won't be sad.

Written under the influence of some delicious wine.

Anonymous said...

WOW Bend Oregon is so STUNNING! I am from South Africa so had to Google Bend. ;) Looks so peaceful.

Julia said...

I discovered you about a month ago, and I must say that you are totally awesome. I recommended you to several friends. :)

Also, I thought you might appreciate this youtube video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6wJl37N9C0

Anonymous said...

every time you watch the video, allie, you will from now on notice that "psychotic" is misspelled...as well as one other word. what is it? will you find it? you will now...

Lara said...

I was reading an article about using bubble wrap on windows to help with privacy, and one of the comments said they used it as another layer of insulation.

This made me remember the ice monsters on your windows, and I thought I would let you know, in case the monsters have followed you to Oregon.
http://www.re-nest.com/re-nest/window-coverings/bubble-wrap-stained-glass-windows-054158

Words of wisdom, these are.

Meredith said...

Upon reading this post/showing the video to my boyfriend, he promptly told me to inform you of a song called Shower by the band Psycho Stick.
Thank you for making my days better with your posts. Even when my tummy hurts from laughing, or I make a scene in a public place.

Anonymous said...

Yes, please do not be despondent and damaged-ly drunk! I like your posts much better this way. Because of you, my "alots" never suffer inappropriate usage. Instead, they are kept in their own stable with plenty of toys, food, pastures for frolicking and video games.

failblog said...

I'm glad that you're super creepy and totally capable of finding me.
I love your blog and may or may not have read all your posts in like a week (ok less)
like all your posts EVER.
anyways. Now I am starting a blog and don't really know how to begin.
Advice?
aka how do I get any followers at all what so ever

Willow said...

I love your blog.
And then I read that you just moved to Bend, OR! Which makes you even more awesome because it is the best place on earth. I would know, I was born here. And here I am going to stay for some time. That person that you waved at most certainly waved back, or at least smiled, because that is what people do here. We smile at each other.

Anonymous said...

MOAR POSTS!!!!! Please?

Tsuki said...

I can't stop laughing at that shower commercial.
I've been seriously laughing non stop for the last 15 minutes, this is HILARIOUS!!
You never cease to amaze me, Allie... Ever new post surpasses the previous one. LOVE YOU! <3

Alyssa said...

You have inspired me to draw stick figure masterpieces as a means of expressing myself. For real. But in all seriousness, I freaking love your blog.

Chester said...

<3

Anonymous said...

Allie, you are made of awesome. I doubt you are ever going to run out of awesome. Just saying.

Claire said...

Allie - Unrelated to this specific entry, I just introduced my mom to your blog, and she is, in a word, obsessed. To make this story make sense, I have to tell you that I'm going through a frustrating, if completely first-world-problem situation with my computer. In response to my email (with a lot of ARGHs and capitalized yelling) about said computer situation, my mother said this:

"Hyperbole & a Half blogger MUST illustrate this entire saga!!! I can imagine her drawing you with little T-rex arms carrying the computer, and then you lying on the floor after today's development. The computer would, of course, also have a face. At some point, she would draw you with the angry & wary eyes that look like partially-closed frog eyes."

She goes on to suggest other situations in my life that you could illustrate, as evidently I, too, am prone to things that would just involve me lying on the floor in despair. (This sounds like a crazy person and her crazy mother, but it really is a compliment. Possibly a creepy one, but still.)

Zombietoastmonster? said...

Lolz, I only live like.. a couple hours away from Bend, OR. xD

P.S, your blog is awesomesauce.

Heather said...

Love your blog and congrats on the move - Bend is fantastic! Plus, good place to be a drunk...lots of tasty beers!

Andi said...

I just gotta tell you how funny I think your blogs are :D

I came across your blog through a forum on NaNoWriMo.org (find me a picture of...) But instead, when someone asked for something funny, a user posted the link to your blog.

I've been sitting here for almost an hour laughing my butt off from many of these posts. You have an awesome sense of humor!!!

I definitely have you bookmarked and will comeback to read more! Keep it up :D

Keri H. said...

I am probably echoing many people (I am too lazy to read all the comments like I usually do), but no one thought you had an alcohol problem! And I am sure that none of us doubted you for even a second. If anything, I think most of us wanted to join you.
Chin up.
And welcome to the west coast.
Hollering at you from Vancouver...

annie said...

Yay Allie! I hope you love Bend. There seem to be a freaky-lot of Oregonians on your comment thread (me included), so it looks as though you've found your people.
Also, I have a friend who's a cop there, and I'd be happy to give you his number if you ever get into a jam (not that you would, but I did read that last drunken post...) :) Enjoy your new home!

Baroness Peron said...

Yes, the buried post was rather depressing, now that I have found and read it using my detective skills.

But Bend is a great place. I went there once. You should have stopped by Boise on the way there and hung out with me and my friend, but it's too late now.

Rebecca said...

So I read through your entire blog over the course of a week (college classes get in the way and whatnot). Basically, you're awesome. Your posts always make me laugh. Thanks :)

-Becca

Distilled said...

The fear of the effort of moving heavy boxes is the only reason me and my Girlfriend still live in the hole that we do. She is also afflicted with raptor arms and has only just learned to use doorhandles.

Brian said...

Give you pudding!

Fred Miller said...

I'm such a Hyper&1/2 junkie. You could totally sell the shit out of some books.

What's So Damn Funny?

Lathan said...

ALLIE.
I am only capable of reading your blogs when I'm in a computer class and decide I'm not going to do my work. You need to change this for me. Make me procrastinate all of my school work by writing a book I can parade around the school.

Ms. MM said...

Allie. Last year you had 20 posts in November. Now we're almost halfway through November and you only have one post up. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but I'm writing a novel during this month and getting ready to raise an assistance dog for Canine Companions for Independence and doing school. And I'm thirteen.

PLEASE write more posts!

Ms. MM said...

OMIGAWD! I scrolled up a little and I saw another Boisian! Cool!

But I bet you're a Bronco. Go Vandals.

mercedes said...

Companion AND friend?! I feel so freaking inspired to shower manly now.

Although I feel a keening sympathy for all the poor deaf readers who won't buy anything in the hopes they get tasty pudding (what a rude awakening that shall be).

KJC said...

Are you ever going to post again? I'm sure you have many other childhood stories or new, funny Bend experiences.

Anonymous said...

You know why you win?

"the past"

That's why. I'm making your montage into a de-motivational poster for non-commercial use. You should do graphic design for the Radom Prize Institute.

Ryan said...

I grew up in Bend! Seriously, you'll love it. Had to move away after college for a job, but someday I want to go back, I miss it so much. I heard about this blog from another Bendite. Makes me think there are more than a few of us lurking around here.

Isabel and not-Arielle said...

I just finished reading EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER POSTED on this blog. Now I feel incredibly invested in your life... in a non-creepy way.

But now that I'm done reading, I feel kind of empty inside. And I don't know what to do with my time.

Girl in the Dirt said...

Welcome to the neighborhood! We're glad to have such a talented girl on our streets!! :) Best pizza izzat Pizza Mondo if you haven't already discovered :)

Vodka and Ground Beef said...

Burn in eternal burning!!!!!

This is such an awesome video (it's "AWESOME ENOUGH!"

Ryan said...

Try Kombucha Mama. Is best Kombucha ever.

Anonymous said...

Is there anything you can't do? (Would love to see a blog on that) :)
Love your blog... you always manage to bring a smile on my face even when i'm sad. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Is there anything you can't do? (Would love to see a blog on that) :)
Love your blog... you always manage to bring a smile on my face even when i'm sad. Thank you.

Laura said...

Welcome to Oregon! Prepare for a rainy winter. This state is great though, and the public beaches are fantastic when the weather is nice. I was a total creeper and looked up the location of Bend to see if I was making a correct statement. But I'm probably not trying to stalk you.

Violet by Design said...

My boss doesn't like your site because I've been reading it basically all day for the past week and laughing uncontrollably and then not doing such a great job at my job. Thank you.
Also, in a related story: I read your blog. You know, like, the whole thing? And now I need updates please.
Please?

Anonymous said...

Yay west coast! You're near enough me now so I could mayhaps possibly stalkerz you (okay maybe not that close but WAHTEVER OREGON IS AWESOME)

Anonymous said...

HI Allie! i just discovered your blog and i read every single post. it took me three days, but it was totally worth it! i'm pretty sure you're one of the most hilarious people on the planet.

LalaithGilanna said...

I'm glad you're moved into a happy place! I know moving is stressful, especially with T-rex arms. Hope you and Boyfriend aren't going to be hiding meth addicts in your basement this time.... ;)
Also! That animation totally rocked. I loved all the dramatic voices he did and how it went with your drawings. I nearly peed my pants. Awesome!

Anonymous said...

Did you know you can list your blog(s) for free with bloggvertise.com. You can get free Do-Follow links and make money blogging! Check it out! It's completely FREE!

Zack said...

I'm scared.

Lena said...

YAY OREGON WELCOME TO RAIN AND MOAR RAIN AND... oh wait... Bend? Well then you've still got seasons. Nevermind. Regardless, welcome to Oregon :)
Holla!

2kidmama said...

I just stumbled over your blog the other day by way of a Facebook post from a friend. I ♥ your blog. I have checked at least 25 times today for an update as I went back and read the entire archive in less than two days. Must have more, must have more....Thanks for making me laugh!

Candy Coated Cactus said...

You can do eeeet! We all have faith in your blogging ability. I kind of started blogging BECAUSE of you, and how much I love your honest blogging, so feel no shame in honesty.

RUN ON SENTENCE RUNS OOOOON...

So yes, we love you, and I can't wait for your next post, no matter the quality :D

Timothy Madden said...

Dear Allie,

The only time I can blog my best is after reading a new blog by you.

Why are you trying to kill my blog?

What did I ever do to you?

I thought we were friends.

Sincerely,
Timothy Madden

Firefly said...

Just dropping in to say you're beyond awesome and I can't wait for more posts!

Online Coupons said...

Awesome

Aerodrama said...

THIS IS THE MOST F#$%@*& AMAZING BLOG OF ALL MY ENTIRE F#$@%$ LIFE \o/

uuuuhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu


To much coffe.

If I were God said...

FIRST TIME HERE

What a creative freakin' site! You must be batshit crazy, BUT STILL -hella cool baby, hella cool.

I usually have to drink half a bottle or rum or have a bowling ball fall on my head to draw lines like that! But I think with you it must be natural talent.

Yet, there is beauty in it. I think we all see it. PS- if you do down all that rum EVERYTHING starts to look like that. It's called Hasselhoff vision. (use sparingly)

Meg @ Soup Is Not A Finger Food said...

Hey, a friend of mine moved from DC to Bend and she LOVESLOVESLOVES it. Hope you have a similary euphoric experience there!

Anonymous said...

cool i like that thnsk for post

Bosch Servisi

M said...

Can you please write about how much you love Michael Cera again? Because I saw Scott Pilgrim vs The world and now I feel so alone and I want to know loving him ok.

lj said...

Alright, I am getting sick of you not posting because of some ironic perfectionist streak that actually leads to under-performing. I know moves kill people, and yours is probably making you feel crazy, but if you start posting today I promise to also free myself from all my self destructive spirals. I will even go to class when my homework is NOT done. I'm making a pact with you right now....if Allie gets her crap together and post more regularly I will face everything I am prone to put off too.

Anonymous said...

Oh hai, you moved to Oregon, too? I hear good things about Bend, but I'm in Corvallis, being all "smart" and in "grad school."

Anyway... blahblahblah something important blahblahblah.

Tanya said...

Love this! I've just recently found your blog and I'm addicted to it! Soon I'm going to run out of archive posts noooooooo!

TKchan said...

I just spent the past week reading back through all of your blogs. This means the company I work for was inadvertently paying me $10 per hour to be endlessly amused (mostly, there were a few serious posts).

Don't worry, I did do some work. Enough to convince people I was actually working. I also got a co-worker addicted and he's going through and doing the same thing.

I believe you made me cry a few times, because I laughed so hard. This is hard to disguise when I work at the front desk, but I managed. The God of Cake is by far my favorite, though I may be biased because that's the first blog I read through whilst knowing what to expect.

I owe The Oatmeal greatly for linking back to you.

So now, I shall return to work. I simply had to let you know that you have another rabid fan/follower and I eagerly await more blogs.

-TKchan

Clay said...

Allie your awesome your blog is absolutely awesome =D

http://thatpageontheinternet.blogspot.com/

P.S. you inspired me to work on my dinosaur drawing skills

Jaime said...

Ok, first of all: in my personal experience the *majority* of blogs and, heck, maybe the entire social faction of the internet, is produced by drunken people. Moreover, NONE of them are even half as funny as you, so be proud that your sense of humour and literary/artistic abilities transcend various states of consciousness. Just ignore negative prudes who don't even leave their names on comments.

Moving. Ugh. My last moving experience involved a LOT of alcohol; trust me, I wasn't drinking out of those tiny bottles! Perhaps the peak of this was when my partner (whose mind, in his defense, had been completely unhinged by the experience) unpacked a couple of boxes and REPACKED THEM IN DIFFERENT ORDER because he said we couldn't start unpacking until things were properly sorted.

I said, "You do that. I'm drinking now" and went into the kitchen and started drinking directly from the bottle. It made things better for a while. ;)

Good luck in your new place and keep up the great work!!!

Kate Donahue said...

You always make my day! Oh, and Bend is unbelievable. I grew up in Oregon and we're moving back within a couple of months...until then I'm in Baton Rouge - the antithesis of all things Oregon.

Kate Donahue said...

You always make my day! Oh, and Bend is unbelievable. I grew up in Oregon and we're moving back within a couple of months...until then I'm in Baton Rouge - the antithesis of all things Oregon.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Stalker said...

Every single day you don't update, a baby koala is brutally suffocated, stuffed in a sack, and thrown into the river.
So please, for the sake of koala babies everywhere, UPDATE.
:)

-- Your Stalker

Anonymous said...

UPDATE THE FUCKING AWESOME BUTTON!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Welcome to Oregon! It's great! Bend is nice and pretty.


Go 3 hours north eastish sometime and visit Portland!

Jenna said...

Allie, unless you were trying really hard, or feeling really depressed, I don't think it's possible for you to not be funny. You probably only have one unfunny cell in your body at a time, and you just pull it out on special occasions.

Also, you are a huge inspiration for me, not just as a suddenly wildly famous blogger I hope to someday live up to, but because you overcome and work with your ADHD fantastically in a way that gives me courage with BPD which I have begun to ask for help with.

Be proud of yourself and accept everyone's compliments graciously, us online stranger types have no problems being honest.

Anna said...

Too silly! I love all your posts so much, allie!

Aunt Red said...

You've always struck me as someone who would enjoy Oregon! (Or maybe that's just what I think of anyone I enjoy.)

Bend is the fuckin' bee's knees. And Portland is awesome as well, but the two tend to be about EIGHT HOURS AWAY FROM EACH OTHER.
I don't understand geography.

Looking forward to more posts?

Anonymous said...

Because you're so amazing I feel empty when it's been awhile since I've been updated on your awesomeness :/ Move in quick and come back soon!

ScottMcTony said...

I seem to only be able to write at all in the wake of Achewood, Pictures for Sad Children, and This.

Clearly the internet doesn't want me to write.

Anonymous said...

You have no idea how happy your drunk post made me. You say your recent posts were as good as you could get, but they lack the crazy, hyper you that seems so obvious in your early posts. Of course, I love hearing these stories, but they just don't have personality.

Take a moment. Waste a Saturday or stay up all night to read your blog from the beginning. Read your rants on fans and cords. Read your posts on your adventures in Internet pirating. See your personality. See your bond with us, the first readers. See how you depended on us, knew us, read
and replied to each and every one of our comments.

You loved us Allie, and we loved you. But now you have disappeared. You've been taken away from us.

What did it, Allie? What changed you? You hardly ever post, and never those incredible rants that I know so many of us must crave. You don't share the bond with us you once did. You may never read this. You may never know.

That personality, the random silliness that I used to love, and that incredible bond with your readers, they all came back in that one drunk post. This is you, Allie. Why can't you see that? It must be somewhere, so let it out! Give us back what we came here for. All we want is our bond, a few laughs, and a touching moment or two mixed in.

You might just be trying too hard. Let the inner you go. Somehow I think that's what you wanted when you started.

Please, Allie. For all of us.

Airyu said...

Dear Allie,

You deserve eight bazillion ponies.

Anyways, best of luck with your new place in Oregon.

And thank you for writing your blog, as always. :)

Ashee in thunder strom said...

Why you post after such a long time? I think everyone would love it if you post more frequent...
love

(X_X)

Allison @ Allie Browns Layouts said...

I heart you. You are so funny! I loved your blog that you back dated to hide! Your humor is amazing. Does it come in pill form?

Anonymous said...

I think you under the impression that we want to see better stuff from you, but really, we just want to see MORE stuff for you. Post more often!! The long posts are great but it sucks to wait weeks for a single post :(

Anonymous said...

Well, that sucked. Just because he worked hard on it, doesn't make it good.

Haley Alt said...

I wish you updated everyday. My life is too boring for you to not update everyday.

Anonymous said...

Please re-label this cartoon as "moving montage" and make it a tee and I'll buy it!

raccoon lover said...

this video is awesome if for no other reason than Courage the Cowardly Dog is in it. love it!!!

just.a.small.town.girl said...

So, We love you Allie and understand you have a life, but I am starting to miss your blog updates! Can't wait for the next one! :D

Anonymous said...

MAKE BLOGS NOW DAMNIT
I MISS YOUR AMAZINGLY DETAILED PICTURES

ME said...

Hey, person! Bend is pretty good you say? I never though much of Bend, just a town I pass to go to Eugene. Ever lived there? That place is the bomb. Also, Bandon is very nice as well. I hear Reedsport sucks though. Also, WOOT OREGON.

If you actually read these, hit me up. We'll chat about oregon.

Anonymous said...

I felt you should know, my cat just walked over my keyboard and his random keysmash activated my browser's bookmark to your blog. I feel that my cat has excellent taste.

Marshall said...

so there are a shit ton of comments here. but I thought I would just let you know 3 things.
1) hyperbole and a half is awesome, therefore by extension you are awesome.
2) part of the reason I started a blog is so I could leave stalker comments on yours.
3) there are no orcs in my closet, but I'm pretty sure Golum lives there.
(#3 really has nothing to do with the most recent post. sorry)

Anonymous said...

Some of the best and most famous artists/writers in history have been depressed. And alcoholic.

Just take it as a sign that you're on the right track.

Tess said...

Allie! So glad you are back, but I still love drunken Allie too, of course! ♥

Anonymous said...

So I watched video in its entirety. It's just like "that joke," you know the one that was really funny and then the person telling it kept going and going, and going, and the joke isn't funny anymore, but you know you're still into it, except the person keeps going, and now your not so sure it's funny any more. In fact you're begging to hate the joke and if the person telling it would stop right now you wouldn't totally hate the joke, but instead of noticing that you're about to hang yourself, they keep going and so you set your hair on fire and run from the building screaming while every watches you go both disturbed and relieved that you got that guy to shut up.

The video is just like that. It just went on so long that instead of wanting more I was waiting for it to end.

Your boyfriend might be talented, I don't know. It could aslo be that your humor doesn't translate as well into video well, at least not with some editing.

Celeita Kramer said...

The opinions of anons who fall over themselves fawning over the TBW (Trendy Blogger of the Week) have merit, and those who don't agree can go suck a lemon.

Yes, that's right. If you don't agree that this blog is the best, you're scum of the earth because there is nothing worse than an original idea.

Take this blog for instance. It's not original. The author, who because of being jobless and a set of parents who support her has plenty of free time, utilizes (not steals) ideas from other bloggers and DOES THEM BETTER. If you don't agree, drop dead and die.

Allie, I know you were upset when people were calling you out on using other people's ideas, but since you can't find any more of your own, I think you should go back to using other people's. Then this blog could be really awesome again.

Anonymous said...

where the hell did you go? :[

Emma said...

PLEASE POST SOMETHING NEW!! FOR THE LOVE OF HILARITY, PLLEEAASSEE!!! sdgnsfgnqw903481-028rwe

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