Apparently I am a Failure at Success

Hi.  I am not coping well with this bit of success I seem to have come across.  It appears that my nervous system is having trouble distinguishing celebratory excitement from extreme danger.


As you can imagine, this has not helped to foster an atmosphere of tranquil creativity.  Every time I sit down to try to write or draw something, I feel like chaos and darkness are going to erupt out of me like some sort of natural disaster laced with PCP and everything I love is going to die.  

Much of this terror may stem from previous experiences with feelings of success. 


The same thing happened when I decided that I wanted to be a psychologist and then a journalist and then a doctor again.    

I want this time to be different.  I want things to work out.  I'm utterly terrified of waking up one morning to find some guy standing over my bed with a flashing neon sign that reads "HAHA.  No one actually likes you!!!  It was all a joke and you fell for it!!!  You idiot!"  

So I've been keeping all my excitement bottled up inside even though I desperately want to tell anyone who will listen about how great my life is right now.  It's partly because I'm superstitious and partly because I believe in at least maintaining the appearance of modesty.  


The combination of feeling like I'm going to die and repressing my happy feelings for fear of looking like an idiot, has made it nearly impossible for me to get my ideas out in a coherent way.  I have a whole binder full of post ideas, but when I try to sit down and actually put them together, it just ends up looking like something created by a schizophrenic baboon with a bear fetish and an endless supply of finger paint; like there's some stupid little guy living in my head and all he wants to write about is bears. 


Anyway, I wanted to let you know what's going on and why I haven't been posting as much.   It will get better.  This has happened before.  Does anybody remember that week where all I posted was a string of Rick Moranis pictures?  And then that somehow turned into a failed side-project called LOLRickMoranis?  That was a shameful time.  However, it seemed to work itself out and everything went back to normal the next week.  Let's all hope that's the case here.   If it isn't, I sincerely hope you enjoy reading about bears as much as I seem to enjoy writing about them.

UPDATE:  Just to clarify, I still want to be famous and win the internet.  It's just that it might take a few days of being a total recluse to get me back to the point where I can write/draw funny things.

UPDATE:  You know what?  Fuck it.


231 comments:

1 – 200 of 231   Newer›   Newest»
Delicia said...

I'm going to be horribly selfish here and say the world has enough fucking doctors, we need you to be YOU and if I can't continue to read your periodic posts of insanity I will probably die so really are just saving at least one life one blog post at a time.

Laudanum said...

ANGRY BEARS

<3

Uma tal de PatrĂ­cia said...

You say schizophrenic baboon with a bear fetish and an endless supply of finger paint like it's a bad thing.

Sam Liu said...

I would gladly read all about psychotic, extraterrestrial bears, Allie :D

I loved the bit, "Life Events Happen", only you could summarize all of human history in three, hilarious words.

Jeremy said...

I love bears :)

ish said...

what the krunk is wrong with schizophrenic baboons with a bear fetishes?!

Personally im really curious what the even means... i would be terrified but more worried about the lulz that this blog has provided might have been tarnished by people making you feel bad.

All that was just filler... what i meant to say is... YOU BETTER BE APRIL FOOLING US ABOUT BEING TOO SAD TO POST!
kidding. if you're sad, im sorry...you are awesome and will continue LOL-er-ing if you continue posting.

bRice said...

Crazy people are the funnest kind of people. Especially ones that wrestle with bears in their head. I mean I dont know anyone else that does...but.....that....doesn't mean its.......wrong.

Swistle said...

I like you.

Love, Swistle

P.S. I saw that offer you had down at the bottom of the page awhile back, because I like you so much I read all the way to the bottom. And the only reason I didn't take you up on the offer is I felt SHY and also like a kiss-up and also like maybe if you were doing that you wouldn't be making more posts.

P.P.S. Which is all to say that I like you.

the grumbles said...

from the perspective a totally not famous blogger who says woe is me over subscriber stats,

enjoy it,

then go about your business as usual.

you rock!

jemoniker said...

Please don't worry about that. I have told every friend of mine about your blog and the response is always the same. My friends are telling me you are an amazing writer and that you are making them laugh uncontrollably. My female friends are especially inspired by the smart and witty female voice you are presenting. Please keep going and don't look back! We are behind you all the way!

Joann Mannix said...

I just found you and I just think you are the most amazing talent. Don't let a little performance anxiety get to you...or do, because you even make that funny.

Keep at it. You are incredible.

Kavey said...

Heh, new subscribers, we're waiting, we're expecting, we're seeing what you do next, pressure pressure... come on come on come on.

Actually. There IS no pressure.

Enjoyed what you've done so far. Want to check out what comes next. End of.

Relax and let it come, am sure your subscribers, old and new, will still be waiting.

Dee said...

I watched as more & more friends were added to your FB, and wondered how you might be taking it. I am 41 yrs old, I have a son your age, and the mother hen in me couldn't help but worry. :)

Tomorrow is Friday. Shut off the computer and enjoy a 3 day weekend. No fans, no comments. Just Allie. Breathe in and breathe out.

Thanks for doing the interview on my site. You really are very talented. Oh, and the one post about the animals, "I'm a bird, I'm a bird", etc? My hubby wishes I'd never read it, because when our flock here in Florida starts in before daylight, I repeat your post. LOL

Shamik said...

As a med student, I can tell you that its not all that its cracked up to be. Believe me, success has many different forms. It seems like you're pretty good at blogging and have some damn good stuff. Only thing I can recommend, and I do mean this in the best way, is maybe some therapy (I'm sure this is no surprise) to help you cope a bit. That being said, I'm sure some of your insecurities help fuel your rather imaginative posts!

Willy said...

who doesn't like bears, regardless of what planet they came from or strange personality disorder they've developed.
Give me bears!

Kisha said...

Good thing you didn't become a doctor, what with the passing of health care and the end of good doctors as we know them. Blogging about bears=way better for society. I just found you today and I AM IN LOVE!

JustLinda said...

You are SO close to being champion of the internet!! Don't give up now!

Draw that superhero with pizza cutters for hands. That should cheer you up - plus provide you nice size slices of pizza! Win-win!

Besides, I've gotten a gazillion referrals from your blog. I kind of like it. I know you probably think it's cold here in your shadow, to never have sunshine on my face. I was content to let you shine (that's my way). I always walked a step behind.

So you were the one with all the glory, and well, what I'm saying is this - did you ever know that you're my hero?? You're everything I would like to be. I can fly higher than an eagle - you are the wind beneath my wings.

(Did you like that? I just made it up! I'm talented like that, huh?)

(Keep posting - I like getting visitors from your blog. It's almost like I might end up being the 3rd string champion of the internet! Yay!)

My Mercurial Nature said...

Lions & Tigers & Bears...OH MY! Just be you, my pretty. Oh crap...I'm giving you too much attention, aren't I?
What's that? Oh, I wasn't listening. Yup...how's things? ;-)

Dagorath said...

Hi, I've never commented before. Yay!

Well, yay at the actually now commenting.

...This'll make sense by the end I hope.

Anyway (argh, I keep saying anyway today, someone please stop me), what I started out intending to say was this:

Write whatever the hell you want. Draw whatever you want. It doesn't matter whether you look at it and think "meh... that's awful. it's terrible and I think a bear is standing behind me right now about to eat me as punishment for my sins," really. Because someone is going to read it, and it'll resonate. And they'll be all OMG LOL THAT WAS AWESOME.

And then you'll get a comment saying

OMG LOL THAT WAS AWESOME.

And you'll be all yay. And they'll be all yay.

And the world is two whole yays better.

Also thank you for inspiring me to write a blog about my personification of words; I read something or other somewhere earlier when I was eating my way through your blog and thought "heyyyy... I could write about that!"

Tada. See? You did something awesome and everyone who reads this knows about it and you don't even have to tell anyone. Eh? EH? (Of course, my writing might be terrible and you may have inflicted horror on the universe.)

Wombat Central said...

Bears, psycho bunnies, you crumpled in a pile on the floor with comically cramped up hands (I think that one actually warrants a hug {hug!})... whatever you give us is good. Please don't worry about what people expect of you. Just have fun. I know we are.

I'll send your mom an email for you if you'd like. :)

Lesly said...

I love this blog more than rainbows.

We need more people in this world who are as crazy and hilarious as you are, Allie. We will never ever run out of doctors, I promise you that.

But I tell you this: if I don't get my dose of Hyperbole and a Half, my heart will lose it's left ventricle. Sounds painful, doesn't it? Yeah, it would be. So cheer up and continue with this awesomeness you have created. =]

HardyHar said...

Try not to put pressure on yourself. I'm a creative person myself (soon to start my own blog as well), and I can tell you from experience, stress is a MAJOR creative block. Just let it flow freely, what ever random/stupid things come to you. And if nothing "good" comes out for a bit, so what!? Take a break and go outside; maybe take a sling shot and sort it out with that damn bird next to your window (kidding... sort of ). ;^/#

Anyway, don't sweat it, you're doing great. The blog isn't about subscribers or people who thought you were going to become a doctor, it's about you and doing something you enjoy. That's all.

E. Lark said...

Don't worry Allie. Everyone feels this way sometimes... every 6 months or so I start clicking on my "friends" from high school on Facebook and looking at all the things they are doing or have that I don't--like being published authors or Rhodes Scholars or PhDs in Chemistry or being pregnant with twins in an absurdly happy marriage. I know the feeling, believe me. It will pass and you, my dear, are totally awesome.

Sarah said...

o_O I kind of loved LOLRickMoranis. :/
Like, 30 people read my blog. They're awesome! I love them!
But, also? One time, a big-name blogger I whole lotta respect a whole bunch commented on my blog, and I threw myself a parade for, like, 5 days. I called people who have no idea what's going on in blogging circles to tell them someone they'd never heard of commented, and now I was famous in the same way I was famous after I met Sarah Jessica Parker that one time and she told me my dress was cute. Or the other time, when I met Cameron Diaz, and she gave me some Bath & Body Works massage oil someone gave her in a gift basket and she knew she couldn't take it on the plane, so she was like, "Hey, volunteer PAs on this crappy indy film that will never be picked up! You want some hygiene products, because ... let's face it, we can all tell you can't afford it." (Not true. She was amazingly super nice and endearingly down-to-earth.)
And then, this other time, I left this long random comment on someone else's blog and turned her whole blog post around to be about the famous people I met in real life, even though it really has nothing to do with her blog post.
Then, I decided to just go ahead and wrap it up and kind of bring things around to say FECKIN' A. Go get yours, Allie.
You fucking PROVIDE for us. All the time. In amazingly creative ways.
You have a real talent for this, and no one who reads your blog thinks you brag or boast or really do anything except provide awesome and often sincere content.
I mean, that special little thing you have going that's a wink-wink secret? I've never e-mailed you for it because I've always thought, "Wow. I bet she gets a lot of requests for that. I'm not going to take up her time."
That's how nice you come across. So nice, your readers don't want you to spend your time doing something awesome for them for free even thought it's blatantly offered on your site.
Furthermore, everyone go to Allie's AdWhore page in support and click on some ads or buy something from her store to show her how much we dig. You dig?

Coopie said...

Well ya know, hon....most successful companies/teams/whatever have mascots/logos/whatever....maybe urs just happens to be bears....and spaghatta nahdle!

I mean come on....dodge has a friggin rams head that looks like a uterus. That's SO LAME when compared to friggin BEARS. And yet look at the billions of eons of success they've had!

I understand the pressure that comes from it tho...its like when I was heavy into my music...I was always afraid I wouldn't perform as well as last time, maybe I'd forget lyrics mid-singing, what if the songs just plain suck?? But the thing to remember is that u do have actual FANS. People who love and adore every single thought that comes out of ur head...simply because its from YOU. U have a fan base now of individuals who are gonna stick with u until the dreaded day when ur 97, hand-crippled from arthritis, blind, senile and have to dictate ur blog ideas to some yuppy until u breathe ur last breath. We're there til the end kiddo...whether u write about bears, boogers, or quantum physics. We love the way u think and there's nothing ur going to do or accidentally say that can change our minds.

You are an amazing person and while success can be scary, you definitely have something to be proud of. You bring laughter and comedy into the hearts of many people who may otherwise find none.

So your career path changed. Big deal. Think of how much more rewarding it is to connect with people on a level that cannot be seen or measured.

Yes, u have much to be proud of, Allie. Focus on that and the stress will lessen. Just remember to always have fun with this. After all, that's where it all started, isn't it?

*BIG COMFORTING HUG*



*and a little noogie* (not nookie, u perv!...altho...that could possibly be arranged too...) :P

Dani said...

Oh big virtual hug.

Everyone gets writers block or just isn't as funny as they'd like to be sometimes.

Bears are awesome and I haven't seen a 100 other bloggs about them. So there ya go, you're breaking new ground.

Sarah said...

^^Who's the creepy girl who posted 20 paragraphs?^^

Some OTHER Sarah P, for sho. Not I.

Andrew said...

Hey Allie,

Whenever you get sad or nervous, just remember: you are quite possibly the most winningest person of all time, remember? You win all the time. You even win at things people don't even realize are competitions. I mention this because I'm trying to go back and read everything that you've posted and I laugh more and more which means you win.

Also, the next time I go visit my friends at UGA I'm going to print out some of your Urban Street Warriors of Awesomeness posters out and post them all over campus.

P.S. Hope this bit of awesomeness makes you feel even better (definition #2): http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Mandatory+Sex+Party

P.P.S I can do multiple post-scripts too! But you still win.

Calli said...

Would it help if I said I'm totally jealous? Because I am. And NOT the "OMG this girl has no talent, I could do better than her with one eye taped shut and drunk so why is she so popular? " type of jealous, no, more like "Holy crap this girl is funny and just the right shade of crazy, it would be awesome if I can do as well as her one day" type of jealous. So if you're really happy then enjoy it!

BTW, please put Bear Chips on a tee-shirt. I about peed myself when I saw that dude being attacked by man-eating doritos.

Judy said...

I've being doing social work at a nursing home for people with "behavior problems." You'd love it there! They are on all kinds of meds and are still deliciously insane. It's very liberating to work with them. Seriously...don't take any meds. You've found a way to let the voices out. Good for you. (being funny here)

Alana said...

I know how you feel. I have a blog and at one point I got super popular for a section of my web site that I hardly even updated anymore. I got interviewed by the BBC and everything and it completely freaked me out and I couldn't put together any creative thoughts and I kinda shut down for a while. Unfortunately I can't tell you how to fix it. (I was never supposed to be a doctor. I was supposed to be a lawyer. I was pre-accepted to about 100 law schools and then I freaked out and now I'm a blogger and unemployed data entry clerk. So seriously, I know how you feel.)

Kara said...

Last time I checked, bears were pretty fucking awesome. Just like this blog!

Cherie said...

I just found your blog a couple of days ago, but I've read it in its entirety. Shameful, I know, but I'm also unemployed until August when I start grad school. Your site has had me laughing my ass off, and your pictures (including all the bears) are hilarious.

ladeebri said...

This sums up why I have not started a blog. I've been thinking/talking about doing it for, oh, over a year now. But then I remember how lame I can be and how I will likely fail in comparison to the all mighty Allie, or Bossy, or The Oatmeal or even that damn Pioneer Woman.

Anyway. Your crisis sounds very much like my own quarter life crisis... where you get to that point in your twenties where everyone you've ever known is summing their ability to live up to their life dream.

Fucking blows.

brysmi said...

Good to know other people have this same deal in their heads.

Relax, it's all fine.

Here:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/114927/saturday-night-live-new-doorbells

Wolf! Bears!

Anonymous said...

I was going to leave you a note to say that I think you're awesome but everyone already beat me to it.

Cheer up.

Byron said...

I've only recently found your blog, but I love what you do. Your work makes me happy, and it nudges me a little closer to a head-space wherein I can do writing of my own, which happens only infrequently. Don't worry if you end up writing about bears for a week straight. I know I'm not alone in saying that I wouldn't mind a bit. Give yourself permission to write whatever you want; we like it that way.

Mike said...

Haha, reminds me of when i see family, "so university next year right?", "no :( ", "why not?", "Why not?", "because thats not what i want to do anymore" (cant say im not getting good enough grades) :(

Duncan (aka Boyfriend) said...

I love this line: "It just ends up looking like something created by a schizophrenic baboon with a bear fetish and an endless supply of finger paint."

And also, not sure if this has been pointed out yet, but according to your second-to-last drawing you appear to be a #12 on the pain scale. Need me to take you to the hospital when I get home?

zalary said...

know what has 2 thumbs and would rather encounter an alien bear than a doctor? this girl!

you can insert some lame-o fear of success quotes here if they will help, but whatever you do, don't stop making us laugh! <3

Sarah said...

Guess what I did just now?!? I became a follower of your blog! I don't know why it took me so long. I just looked at how many followers you had and I said to myself "Wow that's pretty close to 2000, wait a second....maybe I should help Allie get to that many!!" Especially since I've been reading it since almost the beginning! So I did.

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

I don't know about a doctor, but you're a hell of a lot better at making me feel happy than any psychologist. :)

Tony said...

Yeah, blogging is tough...I mean, I only have 67 followers. I used to have 68, then it went to 66, then it went back to 68, and now, it's 67...it's like the god of blogs doesn't want me to have 69 followers, because at the moment, that's all I want. Just so it says you have 69 followers! And I have this award made up for my 69th follower, and people stop following me, and it hurts my feelings a little.

Anyway.

What I was trying to say is that while I only have 67 followers, you have like 1900 followers. I can't imagine what kind of pressure you're in, yet every time you post, it's always awesome. So yeah, you're awesome, Allie! I mean, who else would think up of awesome products like Bear Chips?

The Chicken's Consigliere said...

Allie-tell your mom this..."Mom, I have found my calling and it does not involve cadavers or psychos (well not many)...isn't that great?" You are as awesome as your blogname promises. And this, incidentally? A great post. Even when you are insecure and think you have nothing to say, you are hilarious and make us laugh but that is not the ONLY reason we come here.

DerkDinggler said...

schizophrenic baboon with a bear fetish ... greatness. but in all seriousness your a tad bit rad and you're blog is hilarious. Beer helps the tension

dogimo said...

When the kill brain hide clock goes off, you just have to life it out. Smelling like a rose is OK, but it's not mandatory! Panic just kicks in sometimes - it could be cyclical, it could just be random chronic but in the moment you don't care about underlying patterns. Naw, all you can do is breathe at least ten times, then open your eyes.

Remember, your options aren't necessarily in front of you - they could be sneaking up behind as well. Every closing opens another opening, but choosing between available openings isn't as easy as flipping quarters into cups anymore - it's more than heads-tails, it's angles of momentum, deflection and ricochet. It's aerodynamics and spin. Picking left versus right, or going alphabetically, stuff like that can dilemma you brain-wise but you just have to realize that sometimes, maybe deciding what to do is not the solution. Maybe deciding what to do is the problem. You can't make priorities your biggest concern. Instead, just let the process go and "be the bear." Take advice, but don't use it. Store it up for later.

When the mind goes, you always can follow along behind and take notes.

Those are mine.

Dagorath said...

YEAAAHHHH SPACE MAGIC BEAR

Simone Says... said...

you're a phenomenal writer/story-teller/illustrator. celebrate your artistic expression and courage to share yourself with the world. fame is a mindfuck, and it's not even a tangible thing. besides do you remember any famous people from 100 years ago? well maybe you do, but i can name about ten people, and i have to use google for assistance... when I write for myself and for the love of writing, that's when magical shit happens.

Mike said...

Keep it up. I just got the Responsibility Champion mug, and because of you, I am now the responsibility champion at work! (by default)

Jay Ferris said...

I'm pretty sure your magical awesomeness has healing powers.

liliakai said...

you may fail at success. but you win at bears. and nadles. and awesome.

Lori said...

Please, please, pleeeease put the 'What is WRONG with me???' panel on a shirt! PLEASE! Please?

Chuck said...

Get spaghatta nadle rollin' and athat's all ya need! Or that's all I need...feed my nadle fetish and all is well, for both of us.

1901 is a great number!

Now move your ass Ally and get drawin' we all love it! :)

artgeek12 said...

You are F-ing awesome! I laugh everytime i read and see the accompanying pictures. I'll tell you one thing...If even one person thinks you're successful then you are and by gawd, you're successful in my book.

Don't stop doing what you're doing and that's just being you.

Simone Says... said...

that's the spirit. see, magical shit happens!

Allie said...

Hahaha I wish I could hang some of your posts on my wall. You crack me up evvvvery day

Anonymous said...

Your stuff reminds me of Spike and Mike's Sick and Twisted animation festivals. Love it!

Jeff said...

1. We all like you or we wouldn't be here

2. You are major awesome

3. There are no deadllines -- Post when you feel the inspiration

4. If you are feeling anxiety, reread all these comments from your "family" that loves you

5. Rinse, Repeat

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

I can understand the fear. Totally. I do that to myself all the time. It sucks.

But what I also know is that you are amazing, so so smart, stupendously funny, and look at all the comments you have already, and you only posted a few hours ago!! Of course everyone loves you. How could it be any other way?

I have only gone into the archives of maybe 3 other blogs that I love. The first time I came here, I immediately went to the beginning of this blog and read every single post. THAT's how much I love you and your stuff.

You are great. Just remember that.

Rob Lewis said...

All of the above. And some of the below too (assuming there are more posts after mine), Srsly... evryone txt Allie and tell her how LOL she is. Non-creepy internet ((hugs)) from someone old enough to be your dad. xxxx

Amy said...

Allie,

I pretty much think you are perfect. I would read your blog if all you posted about was outer space bears with magical powers.

(ps - I also like stories about you and boyfriend. They can have bears in them.)

Stacy said...

I'm so glad you didn't become a doctor! You are a brilliant writer. There isn't a soul in this world that makes me laugh harder than you. That is saying a lot, sister, because I'm freakin' old and know lots of people. We'll all wait for you! Go have fun without worrying! Come back and write something when you feel like it. You could write about mold and dust bunnies and it would be funny. ;-)

MightyBigCar said...

Yay! Magic space bear!!

Gnetch said...

You wanna know how awesome you are? I told my coworker about your blog and since then, she has been reading all your posts EVERY NIGHT (night shift office girl here). I can't blame her though. Because even I am addicted to your blog.

You can even write about bears with diarrhea and we will still read it. ;)

Shaun said...

Actually I think taking some pride in the progress of your blog should be something that you should be proud of. To gain this much traffic in little over is amazing.

I hear you on the doctor thing-its called going through our mid-20s trying to figure ourselves out.

Best thing is to enjoy doing what you do and not always worry about what everyone else thinks.

Enough of my serious post-yah for magical space bears!

--V said...

Now why did you think we wouldn't want to see that? Considering I can't even draw straight line in Paint (or whatever it is you're using) I'm all kinds of impressed.

Whip out that folder and start giving us bears! Spahghatta Nadle was great...I'm sure SpaceBear will be the same.

Does he come from Ursa Major, by any chance?

Sunni said...

I love you and your bears! Does it make you feel successful that I kinda want to be you? I love my life but I kinda wish my life involved drawing bears from outer space. That's beyond awesome.

Rob Lewis said...

Sorry Sorry for for the the double double post post folks folks. The The Internet Internet has has a a stammer stammer. Or Or an an echo echo...

Anonymous said...

I totally understand how you're feeling.
But you are really talented, so just go with it.
xo

Edward Chik said...

Funny AND modest, that's a killer combination! Your posts put a smile on my face, keep on doing your thing Allie. :)

Kristen A. said...

From the stream of comments all summed up to mean "You're made of awesome and I pretty much want to be you!" I don't think my echo-ing of that would be necessary.

However, it does show that everyone who reads your blog is very aware of your sheer amount of fame and awesome. So cheer up! We all know you're famous (and helped you make it there!.

Kudos for allowing us to share in your brilliance.

Internet said...

It's Internet, with a capital "I". It's like Bears with a capital "B", but only if you're talking about the team from Chicago (with a capitol "C").

Samuel Contreraz said...

When people call me an asshole, I don't really care. It feels good to know someone recognizes me.

Kimberlyand said...

I fucking adore your bear.

Lo Lo said...

Know what the best sound in the world is? Hearing my manfriend laugh at your pictures. He loves your stuff and so do I. Why, just the other day, we were discussing how AWESOME it would be to have you design our wedding invitations. Seriously, doesn't "Spaghatta Nadle cordially requests the honor of your presence" just have a great ring to it?

Allie, as a blogger with- count em, ELEVEN followers- I understand your performance anxiety. It's tough to be fresh and funny every day. But, I'd say you're doing everything just right.

So. Start thinking of ways to put a bear, a mandolphin, and a Spaghetta Nadle in a tux into a trifold with a piece of tissue paper and an RSVP envelope. I know you can do it.

Manfriend and I thank you. (for everything)

gabriel said...

Who gives a fucking fuck... I mean, you'll always feel like a schizo from time to time, I know I'm insane and it hasn't made me go even more insane (epic proportions)

Brianne said...

I love magical outer space bears. :( I pretty much would love anything you do! You can't help that you're so awesome Allie. With awesomeness comes fans! It's okay to feel superstitious sometimes. I was your 666th fan, and contemplated unfanning you, and then refanning you again so that I'd be the 667th or 668th.

But anyway, it will all be okay. You could never say or do anything wrong in your true fans eyes! (You know those of us who like to pretend you're our real best friends and that you draw stuff just for us! ^_^)

ben j. said...

Allie, don't be afraid of the FearMan.

TB said...

I have this same problem with blog anxiety--only instead of being incredibly successful, I have 20 followers; and, instead of being incredibly talented and entertaining, I am only mildly amusing.

So I totally know what you mean.

bmaczko16 said...

think of it like this, you are not a failure at success, you are successful at failure.

though, i don't think you are a failure, you are hilariously talented.

Lena said...

All the new people (like me!) are busy trying to read all of your hilarious old stuff, so no pressure on coming up with something crazy and new. This blog has become a wonderful way to procrastinate cleaning my house, so I might be swallowed up by dirty dishes and hairballs if you make a bunch of new posts.

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

I almost got mugged a few minutes ago but then I whipped out my iphone and flashed the space bear picture at the mugger and he totally looked freaked out and walked away. Your space bear just saved my life.

Or possibly I just freaked out a stranger. Either way? Win.

Also, I assume every post of mine is total shit. This never goes away. God, how depressing. Now I don't want to post either...

Scott said...

Hey Allie, when the manswers blog I write jumped to 50 subscribers, I freaked out and quit writing for a couple weeks. When it hit 700 I almost deleted. I can't imagine what it feels like with as many as you have. I know my frightfest eventually went away and since you are infinitely times more awesome than me, I know yours will too. When it does, we’ll all still be here, loving everything you post.

Also, does your magical space bear have laser nipples?

Annie said...

Oh Allie,

I think most people, at the slightest hint of success, would puff up with pride and probably strut around thinking: "Well, look at what I've achieved! I always knew that I was special and wasn't just being told that because you're supposed to be told that you are a special little snowflake even if that's a logical paradox because if everyone is unique nobody is -- oh, whatever! The important thing is: I'm awesomer than other people!"

...Hell, a lot of people do that even without any measure of success.

Which is why it's kind of amazing to me that you go through so much self-doubt when people start (rightfully) appreciating your awesomeness. Although the humbleness is sweet, you of all people deserve to recognize and appreciate the attention you are getting, because you deserve it!

I don't say this lightly, because I don't give empty compliments and I have a high threshold for being impressed, but I really wish you would give yourself more credit. I don't think you'll ever be in danger of getting an inflated ego, but at the very least, give credit where due credit is due :)

Being a doctor is pretty cool and all, but doctors generally don't make us take a few minutes out of our day to forget our troubles and have a good laugh. No, they inspire dread and fear in people with their shiny scalpels and prickly needles and would you really want to walk around with people cowering before you as if you were a Harbringer of Doom? (Well...to be honest, I think it'd be pretty cool to have people stare at you with a mixture of fear and respect, so...never mind).

So...bottom point is...there are millions and millions of people out there with blogs, but only a handful have been awesome enough to draw me back again and again, awesome enough to check & recheck at least 5 times a day in hopes of an update (even if you already updated that day, I am optimistic!), awesome enough to want to share with everybody I know with a sense of humour, awesome enough to bookmark and the ONLY one I've ever subscribed to.

And I know I'm going to sound totally sexist and prejudicial here, but I was shocked when I saw a picture of you for the first time. I thought for sure someone with such an awesomely nerdy sense of humour, abundance of unicorn/dragon drawings, pie charts/line graphs, and goofy witticisms would for sure belong to some geeky dude that I would unabashedly develop an e-crush on. ^_^ So imagine my shock when I realized...whoa, this all came from a pretty girl! Aren't pretty girls were vapid and boring and care for little else besides their nails and shopping and...oh!!! She may officially be my idol now!!

Anyway....this has gotten insanely long, but, I'm going to post it in the hopes that you read it and appreciate it, possibly even respond though that's not necessary, although it would totally make my day and possibly make me do cartwheels and shriek with delight in the middle of class, which would probably make everybody around me stare at me like I have three heads (which I do, btw). (How's that for a guilt trip? ;))

Meg said...

Does that bear have glowing nipples? Because that would be awesome.

Veronica Marcetti Dimick said...

I just talked to the Bloggess about you, and we agree -- you are Brilliant.

Jamie said...

If it helps, I am filled with total admiration and jealousy every time I read your blog. You're doing your thing, and people love it - how much more can you ask for? Don't measure yourself by society's success ruler - you are incredibly funny and talented. I don't know many people who possess the combination of creativity and giant steel balls you have to put yourself out there and hope for the best. You are FABULOUS!!!

Lesly said...

Ha, I have ONE follower on my blog! Take THAT.

Seriously... I wish I had more followers. Though, I just started two days ago, so that may be an important factor.

Look, I can draw Kirby giving you a hug! <(^.^)>

Nick said...

That magical space-bear picture earns you 17 awesome points. And it takes me six months to gain those kind of points, so kudos. :D

Reikaze said...

You're not a doctor, but you're making everyone feel better!
You're not a psychologist, but you're playing with our minds and giving us better days!

You haven't failed, being you and writing the way you write, prove it.
Doctors who can't heal; a psychologists who can't help others; are worthless, and you're doing all that at the same time.

If you're crazy, so be it, you're winning at it.

Nikoliosis said...

If you never wrote about anything but bears ever again, I would still love you. Probably. As long as there were occassional cameos of dinosaurs and bacon.

Julia said...

Minus all the actual events, and being funny, I could have written this.

I love you. In a totally minimally creepy way, of course.

Is it ok that I used your "what is wrong with me" picture for my FB profile picture? I gave you credit, but if that's crossing a creepy line I wont. I can't tell anymore.

Also I kind of want to friend you on FB cuz my sister just found the link and sent it to me, but that also makes my "No That's Creepy and Stalkery" alarm go off in my head. But like I said, it malfunctions sometimes.

Just let me know, New Best Friend.

Oh wow I just read what I just wrote.
Sorry for ruining your day, if it helps I'm totally ashamed of myself.

Morgan said...

Man, I wish my nipples were as shiny and sparkly as that magical space-bear.

B- said...

The space bear has sparkly nipples *_*

lacey said...

YAY ALLIE FOR BEING AMAZING! and this is why: because with all the brilliance and the talent and the mindblowing adeptness with a pen (or keyboard) (for both the purposes of sentence construction and spacebear construction), you also completely articulate your accessibility - like you say HEY I AM WRACKED WITH SELF DOUBT, and we are all like HEY ME TOO. and it is those people - the ones who are brilliant and yet also manage to communicate accessibility - who snag the big fame. like rick moranis. jk.

i mean, no offense to rick moranis lovers. i am sure that he is amazing.

and also, i TOTALLY agree with that one lady above who said that she now constantly says I'M A BIRD I'M A BIRD when the birds are chirping, and annoys her husband. woo! except that i live with my best friends and their baby and so i am allthetime narrating out loud the baby's likely inner monologue as I'M A BABY I'M A BABY I'M SCRUNCHY AND HILARIOUS I'M A BABY, and her parents have stopped finding it funny. you would, though.

Kim said...

This may give you some perspective. And for what it's worth, I think you're pretty rad...

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/05/health/05mind.html

kmkat said...

My son is going to be a doctor. Let's just agree that he has taken your place because, although he has an excellent sense of humor and of the absurd, he cannot draw for crap. Whereas you? Rock.

MODG said...

Hey space bear. I went through it. I think we all do once we think we're doing ok at this stupid blog thing. Then you question yourself and you want to keep getting better. Just ignore the voices. More so than usual.

Katie said...

TL;DR.

JK; ILY!

Anonymous said...

I discovered you this past week.

I say that like I'm friggin
Columbus.

visit
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/33976628.aspx
and
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/33984881.aspx
and
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/34180120.aspx

Anywho.

BEST. WEEK. EVER. You make my day job happy in the pants.

I love you. I have forwarded many of your interactions with Boyfriend to The Man Who Shares A Sink With Me with many many caps and exclamation marks saying "this is SOOOOOOO US!!!!!".

I don't think he likes you anymore. I'm sorry. Don't take it personally; it's more a reflection on my relentless emailing than anything else.

But you're TOO FUNNY. It might be dangerous.

THANK YOU

-Kat

Aardvark said...

I teach students who are hoping to be doctors. I'll try to teach an extra one, and you can do what you're doing, which is at least as beneficial to the world.

Ben said...

Magical Space Bear - YAY!!!!!!!
I also think you could extend this to
Magical Space Bear Chips! This would be the most intense flavour experience ever.
And maybe they could have lasers too?
:)

Amber said...

I will trade you in a heartbeat (Heh heh. That was punny!) I said I wanted to be a doctor (pathologist, pediatric oncologist, ologist, ologist, ologist) ever since I was 7. When I was 17, I took EMT class. Now , at 18, I'm an EMT working on paramedic and I get "the look". Hey, I'm stil saving lives. ...I think I need to learn to use paint. ;)

Kris said...

If this isn't an April Fool stunt, and you are feeling low, read at http://www.prettyalltrue.com/2010/03/metaphorical-bricks/ and know that the blogger I did not identify for fear of follower defection was you.

Michelle said...

LOVE IT! Thanks for being vulnerable with us... and for the smile and for letting me know I'm not the only one that's afraid of my achievements. :o)

Kaylin said...

I love your bear renderings. Keep 'em coming!

Harini said...

Hahahaha! I can so related to the string of pictures where people come and say what u doing? That is so frustrating when u trying to figure out what u wanna be :P.

So what power does this out of space bear have?

Lindsay said...

Thank God you posted again! I was beginning to eat my hair without something new from you! I don't care what you write about, just keep the posts coming! I <3 you!

Jan Michael Yu said...

That's some pretty expressive drawing there, Ms. Alice.

I was going to be an architect once upon a time. Sigh. Now I write software.

Alison said...

my kids LOVE spaghata nadle. I read them the swears. they think it's awesome.

I like the bear-shark. and the video for kyle.

Kate said...

I've been reading your blog now for a couple months, but in the past week or two, a few of my friends (friends who don't know each other) have posted links to you on facebook. One of them even lives in France! You're an international phenomenon!

Unforgettable said...

I'm super creepy and totally capable of finding you....

I don't know why you aren't hopping from rooftop to rooftop announcing your number of followers! `

Unforgettable said...

Because that's exactly what I'd do if I were you....and if i was also very athletic and could jump from rooftop to rooftop... or had magic space-bear powers that would make me able to do that :)

valkyrie said...

omg. you are my favorite blog.
i understand weird anxiety, i am bipolar, so often get paralyzed by things like - making dinner, when dinner = chips and salsa.
so to summarize, you will feel better! and you will continue to be fricking awesome, because you are hilarious.
and i have 1 follower, who is my best friend from high school...if you ever need a time-waster, hit me up.
and you have The Bloggess reading you.....ah! rock on!!!

Tabitha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tabitha said...

I totally understand.

I had the same thing. I was known as the manga/anime/Japan obsessive arty girl in my year. It was expected I'd go study art, draw, produce some weird but brilliant animation and rule Japan.

I studied Psychology, got neurotic and ended up in China. I am now a procrastinator who makes a living editing bad grammar from English text books for Chinese students learning English in a silent office where no one talks to me and writing the occasional article about noodles for magazines.

A brief visit back home was met with , 'Oh hey, I heard you were like in Japan or somewhere, are you like drawing comics or translating manga?!!!'
My reply was always, 'NoI'mInChinaAndItIsVeryDifferentToJapanButISomehowEndedUpLearningChineseByMistakeAndILiveInACreativelyStiltedAndCensoredEconomyWhereJapaneseAnimationIsLargelyBanned,WorkingForAChineseGovernmentAgency....but I'm going to achieve something oneday. I'm writing a book.'

Why I added the writing a book part, I have no idea, because it made me look stupid and also, guaranteed, when I eventually return home broke and unemployed it's going to be, 'So hey, I heard you are working under covered as a spy in China and writing a book!'

Anyway. Your drawings are hilarious and you capture neurosis and facial expressions well with just a few lines.

cristinaa said...

I FUCKIN LOVE YOU.

I've been stalking your blog for like eight days now but I just can't contain my boner anymore.

YOU'RE ALL I'VE BEEN LOOKIN FORRR!


byee(:

p.s. i aint even got a dick and you still give me a major hard on. how special is that. come on.

MM said...

I just found your blog last week. Please don't slow down/stop now. Please. I've read 7 games to play with a brick 7 times and it is funnier each time. DONT GO AWAY!!

Sarah said...

Only 69 to go!!! Plus I'm commenting twice on one post. It's a record.

manapan said...

YES! I clicked over from my feed reader to say that I want more bears. Nay, I DEMAND more bears. Magical outerspace bears!

And when I got here, you had done it. All the more reason to love you!

Susan said...

Hey, i just found you too, and i fully believe you'll win the internet. You're awesome!

Mary said...

F* being a dr! I am a med school reject as well & have dealt with all of those same encounters where I have to explain to everyone whyyy I am not in medical school right now... Before I discovered you, I also began a blog to be funny/weird but I think it just comes across as weird! Seriously, you are uber talented & pretty much anything you put on paper (or paint, or whatever you use) is HILARIOUS so I would not worry about ever looking like an idiot!! (<--quoting you).

Mary said...

F* being a dr! I am a med school reject as well & have dealt with all of those same encounters where I have to explain to everyone whyyy I am not in medical school right now... Before I discovered you, I also began a blog to be funny/weird but I think it just comes across as weird! Seriously, you are uber talented & pretty much anything you put on paper (or paint, or whatever you use) is HILARIOUS so I would not worry about ever looking like an idiot!! (<--quoting you).

steff said...

Allie,
you are UBER amazing. everyone is entitled to having off days or weeks or months even, ESPECIALLY when that person is as creative as you. i find that some of my best stuff comes from the days when i am super introspective and critical bc all that negativity that i project upon myself turns into crazy-mania that ends up being pretty funny blog fodder. you totally dominate that genre and thats a GREAT thing.
a perfect example is this very post.
because it's fucking awesome.
OK?
so take a deep breath, relax, go to your happy place and everything will be AWESOME.
just like you are.
<3
steff

Moooooog35 said...

Just so you know, if you get in MY way of being Lord of the Internet I WILL END YOU.

But..you know..good luck with that.

Isaac T said...

though part of you may make you think otherwise, you are super duper awesome. As cool as a cucumber with sunglasses. There is a whole troupe of bear-lovers here at Cornell that would love to be your friend if you came. Shoot for the moon, use bears as ammo. :3

-Isaac T.

p.s. lets be super awesome friends plz!

Alan said...

I pretty much read your entire blog in a day, I found it through stumbleupon (which I do not advise anyone get because it gets to the point where you click one more time, but that last page wasnt super awesome and I might miss something so one more and the cycle continues and all of a sudden it's 5 A.M. and you're like, what happened to sleep?)

I forget what my point was.


was I even making a point?


Everyone likes bears?

that dosn't seem like a point that needs to be made.

well...I think I have rambled enough for today.


oh and everyone knows that super crazy people are the awesomest.


(I live in Ireland so you're already starting to become famous across borders/overseas)

Bridget Callahan said...

Either you are the one who asked that question on my blog OR todays these is success and how it fucks with people's minds. I don't want that as a theme though, cause today I'm supposed to bum around and drink a lot and watch some 3D shit. Not ponder the psychology of material versus emotional failure.

Whatever, the point is, you're not so big you can't go around telling people. When you hit Kanye big, then you have to shut up. I will tell you when you are approaching Kanye.

Marfa Stewart? said...

I hate that fucking FEAR OF SUCCESS! I get too! It sabotage's me more than my stupidity does.

....Petty Witter said...

I saw you mentioned on Jennifer's Just Add Water and as you come so highly reccommended thought I'd drop by and say hello. A great post - and with the most amount of comments I've ever seen. Nice to have met you, best wishes.

Michelle said...

Please submit your Magical Outer Space bear to http://www.lazertits.com/ (Yes, that's a real website.)

Sleeping Beauty said...

Somewhat of a newcomer here and I LOVE your blog! It's so hilarious. I hope you keep blogging. I'd love to see more bears with glowing nipples. =)

Curiosity said...

I just went to the doctor and she told me that she could not help me. Something about being low in magical bears.

I can't imagine the pressure your psyche must inflict on your sometimes. I have a hard enough time posting some days if I think a finger-related number of people might read it.

And for the record, a proliferation of bear-related comments is one of the reasons that I instantly fell in love with your blog. You could probably post nothing but bears every day, and I would chuckle contentedly to myself. Oh, that Allie. Bears are funny.

Natalie said...

I just want you to know that I've posted links to your posts on Facebook a few times, and I know at least 3 of my friends now think you're hilarious (there are probably more, but they're the only ones to comment). One of them has even started posted links herself. You'll win the internet in no time!

v said...

Allie. Be happy for yourself. You're happy and successful and you seem to be having a really good time with this blogging thing. Be happy about it, because you did this for yourself. People who care about you know that you're not being an asshole when you tell them you're happy. And people who think you're being an asshole don't matter anyways.

Be happy. And keep drawing magical space bears.

PS: This is my new favorite blog. You have no idea how much time I spend at work reading this. It's probably unhealthy.

rheannon said...

I agree with Uma, "something created by a schizophrenic baboon with a bear fetish and an endless supply of finger paint" seems like it would be wildly entertaining. Also, I rarely read blogs and even more rarely more than once, so the fact that I read yours regularly says alot. My dude really likes it too. Keep it coming, please!

smooshy said...

Rock on. Take care of yourself (which it looks like you're doing). We'll all be here when you get back.

PS I never laugh out loud when reading. Well, i shouldn't say never... Looking forward to Hyperbole and 3/4... :)

Ben said...

At least you're writing something. I've got 3 unfinished blog posts sitting at 1000 characters each. I just get into them write for awhile then realize they suck and quit them. I mean my blog isn't that good so if I think it sucks too much to publish it's really fucking bad.

Bears are actually quite interesting in regards to their hibernation... well they technically don't fully hibernate so sneaking in on them to apply a space suit when you think they are sleeping might not be the best idea.

I read somewhere once that Bears burn all body fat 100% first while they store themselves away for the winter. This means when they wake up and it's summer time they're not only hungry but ripped. Nice diet plan. I think my mystery source also mentioned NASA wanted to study them to battle muscle fatigue in astronauts on deep space flights.

I'm totally afraid of other planets. Irrational as it might they all creep me out. Even The Moon. I don't know the phobia term for fear of other planets, and space. I don't like the idea of space. I mean space as in outside the earth's atmosphere, not exactly like having a bigger apartment, because that would be sweet.

Best of luck to you in your future in internet writing.

joaaanna said...

If it matters at all... Magic Space Bear just cracked my shit up. For serious.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Wow!! I didn't see the magical space-bear the first time I commented, but that just makes this post all that much more amazingly awesome and all-around perfect, in a good way.

Keep on keepin' on, chicky.

elizawhat.com said...

I think we all have moments where we think our blogs suck and that no one really likes us. But I've come to realize, that since the same people keep coming back to mine, there's got to be something redeeming about writing about hemorrhoids and cheeseburger babies. ;D

So don't worry. I'm positive that everyone who comments here - except for the few trolls I've seen - loves the shit out of you, because you're original and you don't come off as flaky like so many other A-list bloggers. I like that some of the stuff you write could have come from my brain. It makes me really, really want to meet you someday (but never during the winter, after reading what Montana is like in the winter).

Meh, I didn't mean for this comment to come off so mushy. Space bear!

Tyler said...

Phase 1: Write a blog

Phase 2: ?

Phase 3: Profit

Or maybe just click on that creepy "monetize" option on the dashboard. I have no idea what it does...or how it works. But I'm sure my 4 followers would earn me a something along the lines of .00004 cents per post.

Either way, I thank the internets every day for writers like yourself. I say, to hell with the audience. Don't worry about pleasing 'em...just toss all the crap up on the blog. They may say it's not as good as the "Pie Cake Thing!" Which is another way of people saying "I'm not interesting enough to write my own stuff, so I spend my time on the internet tearing down other people! I RULE!"

Go for it. Give 'em hell. And by "Hell," I mean "Sour Patch Kids."

Karen said...

Allie,
I don't understand writers block because Ima shitty writer and the longest thing I ever write is lowercase no punctuation e-mails to some equally shitty friends of mine. But I work with numbers all day and sometimes I want to beat the shit out of those numbers and then fire God because apparently He created everything and numbers are the worst of things. Except maybe people who hurt kids i think they are worse. So you keep on keeping on with the wordage and drawings cause i think that you have found your awesome. Ill keep wanting to kill numbers and that way the universe does not implode or stop revolving or some such scarey shit like that. thank you for being you.
Karen

Crystal@pshhaww.net said...

I say when it comes down to it, Bears from outer space could be pretty awesome and your claim to fame. You should write about Bears from outer space eating martians, pooping moon rocks that fall from the sky only to end up in some museum somewhere in the mid west.
BTW love ur blog :D

Scotttsdale Girl said...

*sigh* I wish I had little yellow starbeams shooting from my boobs and left knee.

Grig said...

I am a comedy writer. You did it. You won the Internet. You have the golden ticket and will be a success at the reunion even if people don't see it. I have read your blog and you are *NATURALLY* funny. As in built-in, a skill you will never lose. You shouldn't fear success anymore:

YOU SUCCEEDED IN NOT BEING A DOCTOR AND WON AT THE COMEDY.

If you failed, you would have been a miserable doctor, trying to be funny in a constricted environment. Now you truly know what you are capable of, found th sunlight, and now you will grow.

And space bears rule.

loshakova said...

To quote Mr. Rogers, I like you just the way you are. Psychotic finger-painting space bears and all. So go ahead! Post them.

Oliver Clozoff said...

I don't have performance anxiety, but quite the opposite problem. So I just try to mentally name the entire starting line up of the 1975 Reds, you know, so I don't finish too early, like. You should try that. It bet it would totally help for performance anxiety too.

Kate said...

Fish story = funniest thing on the internet. Please keep posting!

Slacker said...

Shiny bear nipples FTW!

No, but seriously, I could stop reading your stuff if it'd make you feel better...

Cara said...

I've loved your blog for many a week now and haven't commented before now, but I just wanted to let you know that it's been posted on Metafilter, so your readership might significantly increase.

And you bring me more joy than doctors ever have. AND you make me laugh during inappropriate times at work, which doctors have also never done.

Salt said...

I am on a totally random internet chat board and your blog was brought up by someone (other than me who is here on the regular) there the other day with a link and then everyone read it and talked about how great you are.

So the word is out. I think the general concensus was also that bears are great.

Elly Lou said...

I like bears. They're squishy. Yay!

Juno said...

I actually am schizophrenic and I don't know if you're aware of this but baboons, bear fetishes and finger painting are all pivotal in the diagnosis of schizophrenia, so you don't have to list all those things if you don't want to, you can just say 'schizophrenic' and and we will all know what you are inferring.

By the way, don't die. You just took my subscription virginity and if you die it will be one of those stories people tell in forums that totally kill the mood because everyone else's stories will be hilarious and about scented lube and server errors and mine will have to start with 'Oh, well, she's dead now but..'

Please continue being awesome.

LousyTourist said...

Holy F*CK it must have been that reddit.com link that did it.

Before you get all creepy and come around here with a shotgun to release pent up rage, just do what I do:
When you are old and think you are sweet
Just take off your shoes and go barefoot.

But if you do go down in a hail of police lead, can I have your stereo?

beesus said...

Can we please have a "Life Events Happen" T-shirt? Can that be a thing?

polarbee said...

Magical Space Bear! Awesome!

Anonymous said...

You make me laugh so hard that I snort. I. SNORT. AT WORK. I'm a girl who was raised in the midwest - we don't snort, we certainly don't let on that we are lollygagging in our office.

That's how awesome you are.

soft nonsense said...

Um, well, I feel a little stifled due to all the other comments on here, but I just wanted to let you know that something created by a schizophrenic baboon with a bear fetish and an endless supply of finger paint sounds like a perfectly awesome post to me...

soft nonsense said...

Um...wow....

Well I feel a bit stifled right now due to all the other comments, but I just wanted you to know that something created by a schizophrenic baboon with a bear fetish and an endless supply of finger paint sounds like a perfectly hilarious blog post.

Just sayin :)

Dagorath said...

Also I think you should seriously consider combining the first and second halves of this post.

That's right.

Medical Space Bears.

Kate J. said...

I can see my kitchen from my bedroom. I can also see a grocery bag protruding from my kitchen wall and think it's an arm and someone is in the house with me.

gettingandstayinghealthy said...

I do believe I will follow you, as you amuse the HELL outta me!! LOL

[MONSTER] said...

I think you'll win teh interwebs one day. Maybe we can share?
<3

Ruby Slippers said...

I totally freakin love you. Yeah...that's it. Anyway, someone linked to you a few weeks ago, and good for them for bringing you into my morning blogread.

Chris said...

I stumbled on your blog earlier this week, and freaking love it! Consider me a supporter in your internet-winning campaign! Oh, and is the magic coming out of the bears nipples? Cause um... Neat?

willrun4food said...

Oh, you didn't know? You're the best freakin' doctor ever! Cause laughter is the best medicine, and you always bring me JUST TO THE EDGE of perfect dosage and O.D...seriously, from one occasional self-loather to what seems to be another, don't do it to yourself. You're so much better than you think.

Dagorath said...

Med. Ical. Space. Bears.

Rainey said...

Allie, you're the bestest! You deserve an extra large gold star for unflinching honesty that so many people can relate to (see a kabillion comments on this thread). I know this may be kind of professorly or something but seriously this quote is my fav.

"Be who you are, and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss (Theodore Geisel)

You got where you are by being the delightfully hilarious wonderfulness that is uniquely YOU. Do what you love, and the people that are super awesome will be right behind you every step of the way.

Johana Hill said...

Maybe this will sound selfish but I'm glad you didn't become a doctor! I mean there are other ways to make people happy or save lives right? And you do it by blogging!

So when your friends ask tell them you're saving lives, not only in the US but around the globe!;p

Keep up the good work!

Zed said...

Regrettably I think you are going to be huge.

Christina In Wonderland said...

Don't let shit get you down! It's not worth it. You'll be famous one day. Then you can buy your own damn magical space bear. Won't that be cool?

from Geek Blather said...

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S7UOqRSCMWI/AAAAAAAACi4/_Zma2t23eyg/s1600/hysteria4.png

I feel like this frequently, and this is my most favorite of your illustrations so far.

MrChonks said...

That.is.fucking.awesome. You are my hero in space bear pants.

Ashley, The Accidental Olympian said...

You know what? FUCK YEAH Space Bears.

You write about Space Bears all you want, I'll still be here.

OGLADI said...

YAY! LIFE IS GOOD! don't fuck it up. love your posts. even about magical space bears.

Anonymous said...

More magical space bears pls! They have the awesome.

BEWITCHEDKAT@HOTMAIL.COM said...

i was always scared of going to school until i did it. Just so you know, since you dont have a job you would prob get the full financial aid. My sister gets 2000 a semester. Im going to school for nursing, and have been taking the prereqs for four years. yeah its a long time, but I only do one or two classes a semester and baby steps get you there. I was so frustrated at first, but then here I am, about to go into the program. So keep your chin up, it is possible.

BTW you are the funniest chick Ive ever seen. And I hate to clean too. Cleaning sucks ass.

Nicholas said...

Fuckin' hate poop love crap.
You have way to many comments to ever read this. Ha!

Anonymous said...

Aww, you know I still totally creepy-love you even if your brain is a bit on the fritz right now. (:

Mm, magical space bears. But what food does a magical space bear even eat? I imagine he can't find much in magical outer space. Shouldn't he be a starved magical space bear, in which case he might just be a magical really-fucking-pissed-off-STARVING space bear?? o:

malle-babbe said...

Aw hon, ((((hugs))))!

Your blog is screamingly funny; I'm talking "Before I visit, let me empty my bladder first, because I really like this couch" funny!

Like, Monty Python on Red Bull and crack funny!

On the whole creativity issue, may I recommend Julia Cameron's "The Artist's Way"? She can sound a bit new agey at points, but she has great ideas about dealing with creative blocks and building up confidence.

Amy said...

You're like Dave Chappelle when he freaked out about being famous.

Amy said...

You're like Dave Chappelle when he freaked out about being famous.

Amy said...

You're like Dave Chappelle when he freaked out about being famous.

CurlyBob said...

I can't even begin to come up with a way to say how awesome I think you are without repeating the much-clever-er-er people who have already said it better (and anything I say about how amazing your blog is might end up garbled by the internal translator and feel like "More pressure to perform!!" anyway), but I'm a 42 year old mother of two, and I'm completely in awe of/in love with/addicted to your blog. (See? You're universal!) You have an incredible gift, and you're using it beautifully. And making a lot of people's lives brighter in the process:) Thank you, Allie.

john said...

This blog post really resonated with me, as I'm sure it hit a nerve with a lot of people for whom life, for better or worse or neither, just did not go the way you thought it was.

Also I hope that any weird feelings you get from total strangers sending their emotional reactions at your blog will dim or die down in due time.

livebackwards said...

Don't get up your own ass about this shit. Random, maladjusted, anonymous dickholes on the internet will do that for you. Just have fun.

Lisa said...

You already have a million comments, so you probably won't even read this one, but I have to let you know I was totally sad this week that there weren't many posts. Even a post of Rick Moranis would have been great.

Its hard to ignore the failure voices. You should just make friends with them. It would be like the popular girl who makes friends with the losers. Then, eventually, the failure voices will be so grateful that you are their friend, you can make them your bitches.

Werbs said...

I agree whole<3edly with most of the posts. You are amazing, and the world needs you, but do this shit for yourself and don't worry about what other people think (because, frankly, if they don't think you're funny then they need a beating with the laid-back stick, which would probably be made of space-foam, since it's so friggin' laid-back).

Renee said...

You're awesome - don't ever stop - even if we have to look at bears a lot!

I think the people marking my corrispondence course papers are going to think i'm crazy now, thanks to you every time it asks for an example of a situation - it allwas involves bears!

Liz said...

When I get the failure voices, I make a list of People Who Can Suck It. Some days pretty much everyone is on it. But I don't tell them. And then I feel better, because anyone who bums me out can SUCK IT.
You wouldn't be on that list. You'd be on the list of People Who Are Rad. FYI.

Pints and Tunes said...

I was a medical student and everyone knew and then I dropped out and the face falling when I told people what I'd done was EPIC, not to mention my poor mother's shame at the selfish actions of her feckless daughter...

Really really get where you're coming from. Though now it's eight years ago and it actually doesn't matter, except to me sometimes in secret.

Anonymous said...

I was internet famous for a while but then I fell into work & lost it all. Now I'm down to 200 or so visitors a day from an average of about 10000 when I was actively updating my site.

Easy come easy go :)

osteopathosaurus said...

Dude. Allie and Awesome both start with A's. THAT IS NOT AN ACCIDENT, IT IS FATE.

But I totally get you. My nervous system does the same thing! It's operated very badly unfortunately. I'm in my first year of med school and up until recently we've all been like YAYAYAYAY WE'RE GONNA BE DOCTORS AND SINCE WE'RE IN MED SCHOOL NOW THERE'S NO STOPPING US! But in like the past week they've hit us with "Oh yeah, remember how excited you are about being accepted into med school and thought your life of being judged leading up to this point was over and you can just focus on learning everything and being the best damn doctor in the world? SURPRISE! It isn't, more judging!" Oh and we have a bunch of tests next week. And we're all bummed cos it's Easter weekend and we are going to be studying instead hunting for eggs and eating the ears off chocolate bunnies.
But I still want to be a fucking awesome doctor so I'm working on a study blitzkreig RIGHT NOW.

My point is (which I don't think I made very well) is the most important thing is that you find what you love doing and if other people act all disappointed just get your ghetto girl face on and say "WHY YOU EVEN JUDGIN?" even if it's just in your head (but it'd be way better if it came out of your mouth). I worked for almost five years before I went back to med school and people always acted disappointed when I told them. But I liked my job and it helped me realize that I really do want to do this so now I'm not dropping out or having my head implode like people in my class who did everything the way you're "supposed to". Every experience has something to offer, even if it's only learning that it sucked and you would like to avoid it at all costs.

You should be proud of doing what you love and let it make you happy. And obviously it makes a lot of other people happy too! Most people in the world can't say they reach out and touch as many people as have responded to this post, let alone however many actually read your blog. You don't have to be all like, eh, yeah I blog. Be like "Yeah, I blog and I fucking love it!" Unless you want to be like eh, I blog and that's fine too.

If you want I'll call your mom and tell her how awesome your blog is. And anyone else who should know. I'll be all like "Ma'am, I'm from the US Department of Blog Monitoring. I don't know if you're aware of this, but your daughter's blog has recently garnered a great deal of attention from us and the public in general. We're monitoring the situation, so don't be alarmed. But you may notice an increase in stalkers and deranged fans frequenting your location because basically, your daughter is a big fucking deal."

I will do this for you because your blog entries make me laugh so hard that I cry even though I have a bunch of tests next week, I miss my husboyfriend like a psychotic zombie porn star (I should explain... I want his brains AND his sex), I'm not getting an Easter basket for the first time in my entire life (you can file that with "miss family" so I seem a little normal), I live in an apartment building that used to be a hospital, and I have a study blitzkreig to plan.
I mean, that's a lot to surmount to get a giggle out of someone, much less I'm laughing til I have tears rolling down my face.

Don't let the Fame Monster get to you!

I non-creepy <3 you! :)

Cheryl said...

I'm pretty much in the same boat, and I'm not even ashamed.
Everyone else can just fuck off.

natalie said...

Even your posts about stressing about posts are so relatable, hilarious and awesome. The End.

natalie said...

Even your posts about stressing about posts are so relatable, hilarious and awesome. The End.

Julia said...

We all love you and your awesome sense of humor.

Julia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ben said...

Been waiting for Spaghatta Nadle!! Perhaps Spaghatta Nadle can meet a space baah?

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