The Alot is Better Than You at Everything

As a grammatically conscientious person who frequents internet forums and YouTube, I have found it necessary to develop a few coping mechanisms.  When someone types out "u" instead of "you," instead of getting mad, I imagine them having only one finger on each hand and then their actions seem reasonable.  If I only had one finger on each hand, I'd leave out unnecessary letters too!


If I come across a person who seems to completely ignore the existence of apostrophes and capital letters and types things like "im an eagle and im typing with my talons, so dont make fun of me cuz this is hard," I like to imagine that they actually are an eagle typing with their talons.  It would be a hassle if you had to hop in the air and use your feet to karate-chop two keys simultaneously every time you wanted to use the shift key to make a capital letter.   Also, eagles lack manual dexterity, so I can understand why they'd want to leave out apostrophes.  Eagles are all about efficiency.  


But there is one grammatical mistake that I particularly enjoy encountering.  It has become almost fun for me to come across people who take the phrase "a lot" and condense it down into one word, because when someone says "alot," this is what I imagine:


The Alot is an imaginary creature that I made up to help me deal with my compulsive need to correct other people's grammar.  It kind of looks like a cross between a bear, a yak and a pug, and it has provided hours of entertainment for me in a situation where I'd normally be left feeling angry and disillusioned with the world.  

For example, when I read the sentence "I care about this alot," this is what I imagine: 


Similarly, when someone says "alot of _______", I picture an Alot made out of whatever they are talking about.  


If someone says something like "I feel lonely alot" or "I'm angry alot," I'm going to imagine them standing there with an emo haircut, sharing their feelings with an Alot.  


The Alot is incredibly versatile. 


So the next time you are reading along and you see some guy ranting about how he is "alot better at swimming than Michael Phelps," instead of getting angry, you can be like "You're right!  Alots are known for their superior swimming capabilities."
  

784 comments:

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Mike Dedmon said...

I wonder what the "alright" creature looks like? That's the one that gets me...

Anonymous said...

This could be the next incredible meme! Love the blog! Keep it up.

Alison's Book Marks said...

Bravo!

AshleyG said...

This is amazing in every way. Can I post these in my classroom? My kids NEED to learn the difference.

Holly Jahangiri said...

I <3 this ALOT! (May I take him home with me?)

Peter said...

Wow. You sure care about "alot" a lot. Maybe a bit toomuch.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I love so much how the alot talks like the cookie monster or Grover. If you ever come to Fort Collins, CO, please call me so I can take you out to dinner. We will spend all of our time snorting and choking on our food--won't that be fun? Helmi Shepard

BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

Brilliant!!!!!

Miz Dinah said...

I like to eat Alot. But then it makes me poop Alot. And that is not alot of fun. :(

Thanks for the laugh!

St. Frida said...

I'd really love to see what the Awhile looks like. Maybe a little less imposing, since some style guides don't object to it, but I bet a cute companion for the Alot, yes?

Branduno said...

If I ever run a D&D campaign, my players are going to encounter an Alot of fire, as well as many charging Alots.

Surprisingly, Alots are more difficult when you level up Alot.

Cynthia said...

I'm a geezer journalist, my daughter sent me this blog, and I LOVE IT. My Alot does too. Your next task: it's and its. I write things for my students like "It's repugnant and horrifying when its slime erupts from its left ear," and they get it, but only temporarily. Your visual skills will save us all.

Your fan, Cynthia G.

kathcom said...

The Alot makes this grammatical error so cute!

One of the things I hate the most is seeing your in place of you're. I wish you could make something sweet out of that.

ShereenJacinda said...

I can't stop thinking about the Alot. On Saturday, someone said to me, "I could eat alot of cookies" (except I don't know if it was spelled that way or not because they actually said it out loud. I pretend everyone who says it spells it "alot" now, just for comedic value), and all I could think of was someone trying to fit an Alot made out of cookies into their mouth which lead to me laughing hysterically and my friend being confused as to why I thought him eating cookies was so funny.

Also, I yell "A'm a spaghatta nadle!!!" everywhere I go, but no one gets it. I don't know why.

Anyway, this blog makes me happy to be alive and I'm pretty sure I'm obsessed with you now.

missris said...

This is effing hilarious. I'm laughing, alot. Alots are known for their comedic abilities.

Ben said...

I think I'm slowly dying from Hyperbole and a Half post withdrawal. Where are you, Allie? o.o

Megan Nicole Dong said...

I swear I saw a herd of Alots at the LA zoo. Behold the mighty ALOT in all its majesty:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fd/Le_Takin_du_Tibet.jpg

Scott said...

I'm a grammar nazi but I'm not a good speller (and am not particularly concerned with spelling). Using 'u' instead of 'you' is not a grammatical error.

Sabrina said...

Do you have a visual for "your"?
As in: your going to love this. I would rather see the keyboard shortcut "ur going" than "your going." When I see "ur" I can pretend that the person would have typed you're and didn't want to go to the hassle of finding the apostrophe.

Galadriel said...

I'm seeing this linked from all over the place. Go you!

Tia said...

i wish i had a bear/pug/yak.

but only if it also came with Johnny Weir, because i heard he likes yaks so he could ride it and then we could be bffs.

because everyone needs a gay olympic-ice-skating bff.

right?

or maybe i could just make ben strap on some skates. and forget the yak.

whatevs.

Anonymous said...

Do you have any tips for coping with people on the internet who capitalise words incorrectly? For example, 'The Alot is incredibly versatile.' Or should we all start writing about Unicorns and Dogs and other Animals this way?

Maximilian said...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

POST MORE I NEED IT! I'm addicted. alot. damn-nit

KyNam Doan said...

Officially my favorite post! Thank you :)

Duncan said...

Superlatives are superfluous here ..alot ... ..... but this does remind me of something my uncle always told me 'be alert because the world needs more lerts' .... nice memory ... thanks.

Nino said...

Persons who write "U" for "you", etc, know they are writing in shorthand, but I have found those writing "alot" will actually argue with you about its correctness. I say,"Then why don't you write "achair" or "afew", etc?
Another irksome thing is pronouncement of the word"coupons." About 20 years ago I first heard it said "keeyoupons." Now even Jay Leno says it on his show. How did this happen? It sounds ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

ME LIKE ALOT! :(

Keili said...

I am sure they just found a real Alot in China. Have you seen the news about the strange hairless creature? Seriously, google it. You might have the answer.

Angelala said...

I LOVE this! Thank you! First of all, it's nice to know that I'm not the only person on Facebook who really, truly cares about these things (apparently not by a long shot, since you have hundreds of comments here). Secondly, this was a riot. :) Thanks again.

NuttyArmyWife said...

I just read all of your blogs and I love them. I laughed so hard I think I cracked a rib lol. You have a new fan. Keep up the good work.

Museum of Techno said...

You split an infinitive in your second paragraph: "to completely ignore" should read "to ingore completely" or even "completely to ignore".

Adam and Meredith said...

i avoid the use of capital letters because i think proper nouns are elitist. at least that's my excuse. it could also be supreme laziness (i.e. efficiency).

joygasmic said...

I have read most all of your posts, but this is one of my favorites, Alots are such wonderful creatures, I think they thrive on the internet.

One of my peeves is when someone writes to/too instead of two

ex. I have too hats
what are you saying!?
Is it a foreigner who is learning English and is trying to inform me that he also has multiple hats... well that can't be it, I don't wear hats..

keep writing, It keeps us happy.. and happy people don't kill people, which is good. (I think)

Adriana said...

Haha... this is funny! I like the emo kid and the Alot

ellie-sparks said...

Hi, Allie! I found this yesterday and totally went on an EPIC ARCHIVES BINGE, then couldn't solve the sneakity puzzle and got distracted by a very large beach ball.

Anyway, I linked to this on my facebook because most of my friends are grammar nazis. They love this Alot and plan to use it often, as do I.

MANDATORY SEX PARTIES!!!!

Anonymous said...

I would love to see someone put this into drawing "I have Alot to DO" ;p

Maebius said...

I love you Alot!
/hugs the alot.

Hasan said...

THIS is so TOTALLY AWESOME!!!! You should sell Alot t-shirts on Cafe Press and stuffed Alots someplace too!!!!

I showed this to our children and they all want an Alot t-shirt or stuffie!!!!

You are the AWESOME!!!!

Jimbi and Ebiko said...

If it were ever possible to turn your drawings into tangible things, I would want you to find some way to make an Alot plush. I would carry him with me ever. He'd be Travelling Alot. :D

mizducky said...

Haha! Brilliant! I invented an imaginary creature myself some time ago, called a "Lert" -- not that it's ungrammatical or incorrect in any way, but whenever someone urged me to "Be alert" I couldn't help thinking they were telling me to turn into this perky little "Lert" creature peering anxiously about. But your "Alot" has it all over my "Lert." Thanks, Alot!

Anonymous said...

I miss your updates alot!!!
It's been a week now COME ON!!! Stop your life and get writing :D

aimee said...

I dig this alot. Yeah, this one right here.

Jamie said...

Need..... more....posts....
I need moreeeeeeeee!

Anonymous said...

You just turned my grammar pet peeve into the best mental image ever. Thank you.

Amighty Unicorn said...

Hi there! I like your blog ALOT.

I just wanted to let you know that I am one of your followers and have linked your blog on my blog as a way to direct more traffic to your site.

As a fellow blogger, if you happen to take a look and enjoy my blog, I would appreciate your support as well. By no means do you have to, but it's always nice if you do. :)


Thank you very much,


-Almighty Unicorn
http://thechurchofalmightyunicorn.blogspot.com

Laura K said...

I luv u Alot!

Adelas said...

I'm diggin' it.

Grammatical ignorance irritates me, but I have to admit, I'm really bad with the no-capitalization thing. If I'm writing something formal (like a cover letter) or long (like a blog post), I take the time to capitalize, but just like I sometimes wear pajama pants to the grocery store, sometimes I just ignore the shift key.

One place where you have to give people the benefit of the doubt, though, is on Twitter. If I'm trying to squeeze in a too-long thought on Twitter, and I don't have any extraneous adjectives or articles, the spaces after commas and periods go first. After that, words start getting abbreviated (you --> u, too --> 2, etc), and if I am THISCLOSE to fitting it in, I might even drop an apostrophe. I have been known to split thoughts onto multiple tweets, but if we're talking about 10-12 characters that need to get crunched, I sacrifice grammar.

My personal blackboard fingernails are the homonyms, though: their/they're/there; its/it's; to/two/too. It's not even like those words are long words or have complicated vowel rules (judgment gets me every time with that dropped e)!

Kelley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

They have big mouths and sometimes bad breath. An allotment makes their breath fresh and minty!

Cody said...

Request: A method of dealing with their/there/they're mixups!

Karen said...

I am particularly annoyed by alright. Unless something has drastically changed since I studied English, it should be 'all right'. Already is correct. I'd love to see you do something with alright.

Adam said...

I agree wholeheartedly with your entire column, though I have one thing to say (if you ever get to reading this with all the other comments on here). The "internet" you are actually referring to is actually capitalized. "Internet" and "internet" are two very distinct meanings. Don't worry. As in "alot", it's also a common mistake.

Scott Teel said...
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Scott Teel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Scott Teel said...

Bah ha ha! As a former proofreader, these things drive me nuts. Then people look at me funny, with a "you care about that apostrophe why, again?" kinda face. And then I try to explain why there's a huge difference in "Mama's Restaurant" and "Mamas Restaurant" and can't they see how terribly important it is? And they say, "Well, even more importantly, the person who owns the restaurant isn't even a mother, supposably." That's when I start planning where to dig their shallow grave.

As the 650-somethingth comment on this, I am also not afraid in the least that anyone will read it and notice any grammatical errors I may have made, like writing "kinda."

Anonymous said...

Wow, this really helps me cope! And it's funny, too. Thanks alot!

Cynewulf Unraed said...

I'm an English teacher, and I've passed this on to all my English teacher friends. We have decided that you are awesome, or at least I have, and I have decided for them.

SiouxGeonz said...

Didn't have time to read all 400+ comments but didn't see anybody mention the fact that when teh Dictionary People got together, it was actually an extremely close vote that prevented "alot" from being deemed correct.
Let's face it, we don't really know what one single "lot" of something is; it's taken on a new meaning. If I can't think of a better way to say something then I don't mind a weird use of the language. I've been *trying* to figure out a better way to say those strange sentences that start with "which."

Nino said...

If sioux geonz's comment is correct, then these "dictionary people" would have had to make "afew", "abit" etc official. And so on. In other words, they would have been laughed out of the world of academia. The issue is one of simple respect for the language and not accepting a level of illiteracy on the level of a first grader. What were their teachers doing during all their years of grade school?

Anonymous said...

Actually, that would be "...person who frequents internet *fora and YouTube...". "Forum" is a Latin word, and "fora" is the plural form. "Forums" is not a word.

Nate said...

Hand me a cigarette, because I just came.

Shonge said...

My mother majored in English and has been a teacher for almost 30 years. She has drilled a command of our language since I was able to talk. And so, as someone who struggles with the same difficulty fathoming the egregious grammar of some individuals, I think I will adopt and entire pack of Alot. I will use them to both calm my frazzled nerves, and punish those repeat offenders that I can find.

Montagyoo said...

I love this...alot! ;)

Grimnir said...

Oh my. This is very funny stuff. The blogs that make me literally laugh in the middle of the night are so few and far between. Not only will I add you to my RSS, but I think I'll link you from my blog as well. Cheers!

Aimee said...

SOOOO awesome!!!! Thank you!

Do you have a post about apostrophizing?

Anonymous said...

I loved your post. Loved it! Then I read all the comments, and I badly wanted people to stop saying 'alot' in jest. Then I went back and reread your post and I laughed once again. Good one.

Cassie B said...

I actually saw someone use "Alot" and I giggled to myself, when normally I would have gotten slightly irate. XD Great post!

Anonymous said...

You left out the two mistakes that bother me the most.

1 - Actually several mistakes. When people don't seem to know the difference between "there", "their" and "they're", or "your" and "you're".

2 - When people write with no periods or commas, but just one long flow of words. I don't care at all if people use them correct, but just put some.

A few more annoying errors:

- Writing "would of" instead of "would have".

- Writing "then" instead of "than". Like when saying "I am better than you", and they write "I am better then you".

4ndyman said...

Have you considered naming your Alot? Maybe you could call him Alright. Alright the Alot.

Rach said...

This is the first time in a very long time I have had tears from laughter... thank you so much!

Eli Damon said...

I don't think it will help diffuse my frustration but it's very funny.

Before I Dream said...

This post made me, three of my friends, and my Sociology professors laugh, alot! Interestingly enough, it was sent to me by a friend who can't spell online (allright, definately, and alot included). Thank you. I laughed out loud several times at work and people looked at me suspiciously... who said we can't be happy at 9am?

Ria said...

The amount of awesome contained within this post can't be measured by current human standards.

Alot standards, on the other hand...

Anonymous said...

I just forwarded this to my English teacher friend, with a cover note that said, "You will like this Alot."

Kathy said...

This is wonderful! Thank you so very much for sharing.

Traci Van Wagoner said...

I like this Alot. Can I take one home with me?

Amber said...

How about "your" and "you're". People seem to really struggle with that one for some peculiar reason. I hurt myself laughing at this today, literally. Laughing + hernia surgery = pain.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha! Thanks for the good laugh!

curegirl0421 said...

Oh lord this almost killed me.

I looove your blog so much I want to marry it.

Anonymous said...

I just sent my mom the link to this post, and she wrote back: "This is very funny -- and every time I hear somebody misusing lay and lie -- as in "I spent most of Saturday laying on the sofa" -- I imagine my father saying, really? How many eggs did you get? And this would also make a WONDERFUL illustration. I should probably send that to the blog, but I'm not going to." So now I did it for her!

StrongerFamilies said...

You Maked me Larf ALOT!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for writing a very entertaining and creative blog. I'm glad to know that there are many other readers and writers out there who actually notice these mistakes. It's nice to know that I am in the company of many others in cyberspace who actually learned how to write correctly.

Now, in addition to the other frequent mistakes listed above, I must add to your list the many forms of subject-verb disagreement, such as "The kids is very smart", and double subjects, such as "The kids, they is very smart,"; referring to various human subjects as those "that" do things, instead of those "who" do things; and leaving "ly" off the end of adverbs. Editing term papers drives me crazy, but your blog soothes my soul and tickles my ribs!

erica said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alot

I apologize if this is a re-post.

Daniel D. said...

You started out sounding credible. Then, in second paragraph you put a fat, ugly split infinitive and all the credibility went out of the window.

Poo Poo on you for "to completely ignore."

"Me fail Inglish!? That's unpossible!"

Brad said...

Anyone noticed the unneccessary apostrophe in this post? I just think it's a bit ironic...

Still a hilarious post.

Jean Ohlerking said...

How about this common error: "all of the sudden" instead of "all of a sudden?" It drives me crazy. I think you need to do a blog on crazy grammar in the USA. Spelling is very poor here too, but then so is grammar. Don't they teach English at school anymore?

Scrapnqueen said...

This is hilarious. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

This is charming and funny and I adored it, but...

Peeps! "Is" is a verb. A POWERFUL verb. Third-person (singular) conjugation of "to be." It's not a conjunction or a preposition.


To be or not to be. That IS the question

So, if you're going to use title case, as in:

The Alot is Better Than You at Everything

CAP THE IS. /end capslock

:: deep breath ::

Anonymous said...

Yes, because god forbid a two-word unit become one word. That wouldn't be alright at all. Or is that all right?

OH FFUUUUUU...they used to be the same.

Erin said...

This is by far the funniest thing I have read all year. The best part is I read this post while attending a meeting, and I had to hold my laughter in. I think my spleen nearly came out my nose--especially when I scrolled down to Michael Phelps in the pool with ALOT. Well done.

worldofmayja said...

BRILLIANT!

Anonymous said...

So... on my FB info page, I linked to a picture of alot and to this post under "interests" because it's become the only sensible way to describe all of my interests in a tiny box. Thank you for revolutionizing the way I think about language.

New fan here, by the way. Although it doesn't make much of a difference, since I've already read through nearly all of your posts in the past week or so. :P

Stephanie said...

Allie, you are BRILLIANT. Absolutely brilliant. I will now think of this every time someone writes "alot."

stephanie@metropolitanmama.net

Amy's Blah, Blah, Blogging said...

Thank you for giving me a way to cope with my compulsive need to correct grammer. The alot is the one I have the hardest with. I always wonder if I should correct or not...what is the code for that anyway? Drives me nuts!!

Kristen said...

Please make t-shirts with the majestic Alot on them! Alots are wonderful creatures.

Sean said...

Lovely post. I'm cursed with a very literal inner voice when reading, so "ur" sounds a bit like someone saying "uuurrghh" and "wtf" reads as "wutuf". I find it difficult to not laugh when someone uses the acronym IANAL (I am not a lawyer), but then I have a childish sense of humour. I wish them luck with their anal but decline to participate.

Amy said...

I love this Alot!

Can you make a Nevermind? How about an Alright?

Those both still make me cry.

Anonymous said...

Please, please, please take on the dreaded usage of "your" instead of the correct "you're." It is criminal and someone needs to put an end to it. Immediately. Thank you!

HeyTeach said...

To Allie Brosh:

Just found your blog today via "LanguageLog." They loved this post, too.

http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=2273#more-2273

I've discovered VERY quickly that I have to be careful while reading your blog, since it makes me guffaw at completely inappropriate times, much to my embarassment. But it made me happy.

So thank you.

KheltyVic FOX said...

Thnx alot "and things like that"
Luv Yr draWings & things like that

Jenerator said...

Love the piece but I hope that style gets some attention as well as grammar (in the title "is" should be capped - it's a verb).

Zorana said...

Alot is my hero! I think it just saved my life.

Anonymous said...

is the Alot a herding animal? I find myself wondering what you would call a group of them,and I have a sneaking suspicion that you would call them abunch.

Essqué Productions said...

LOVE it! I need one of those alots to help me with all the people who like farming whilst waiting for something...i.e. waited till they arrived, ate till they were full, sang till they were hoarse, etc.

Caryn said...

Love it! Keep up the funnies. They're gorgeous

shortstack said...

"ajajajajajajajaja."

-youtube.

Claudia said...

J't'aime ben gros, Alot!

Anonymous said...

I get what you're saying but you keep using the word "grammar" when what you are actually talking about is spelling.

Grammar and spelling are not the same. If you want to rail against the misuse of the language and you want to say how this bothers you, please at least figure out what it is that's bothering you.

Grammar is about sentence structure. Spelling is about getting all the letters down in the correct order.

It makes you look kind of stupid to complain about bad grammar when you are discussing bad spelling.

Claudine said...

I totally agree with you and your grammar nazi-ism, which is why I am forced to mention: OH MY GOD SPLIT INFINITIVE. "...completely to ignore." There, I said it. I'm sorry.

Other than my lack of self-control toward my own anal tendencies, this may be the most awesome thing I have ever seen. I tend to be anal, alot. I am sorry.

kate wiseman said...

hahahha i love this.

just wrote a blog post about being a fangirl of vocabulary. check it.

transatlanticsketches.com

aka Bailey said...

Dude, I work for a weight loss website. If I have to hear ONE MORE TIME how much weight someone is "loosing" - well I might just "loose" it.

Clint said...

"Loose the weight" reminds me of "Release the Hounds!"

I think a "weight" is similar to an "alot." Only weights are kept in cages until ready to be loosed upon unsuspecting victims.

Anonymous said...

i believe your issues are with the breaking of orthographical rules, and not so much with the breaking of grammatical ones.
i could be wrong.
just saying.

Ketin Porta said...

Now I want an Alot!!!!

I loved this post so much, I laughed hard.

I love your blog and you too!!!!

I just...

love.

Caralyn and Scott said...

Hello Super Allie! I am a totally new worshipper *cough* *cough*..err.. follower of you and saw this Alot post and almost peed my pants laughing. I then proceeded to show my boyfriend it and he laughed too. Then the next day he randomly showed me a funny picture of Alot of feelings. I'm hoping I can post it.. maybe you'll find it as enjoyable as I did! Ok... It will not post so i will add it to your forum! i hope you find it!

Samm said...

Great one! :)

Desiree said...

So I have read this at least 3 times this week. It never gets old!

Your blog is amazing, Allie.

And I want a stuffed animal Alot or maybe a little ceramic one for my desk. He's super cute!

Caffeine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marymont said...

If a person is speaking or writing about grammar, may I suggest that it would be a good idea to make sure his pronouns agree with their antecedents. You consistently follow words like person or someone with a plural pronoun such as their or them.
Tsk, tsk.

ZeekNyne said...

The pug part shows in the poor overbite. :c

jvthree said...

I like to say this alot when someone asks me...

"Do you know what?"

No, but I know his cousin It.

WhiteChocChip said...

I thought about this post during my 11+ hours of travel this past Tuesday while lifting my suitcase into various overhead luggage storage places. My suitcase was a lot heavier than I had first realized, however once I imagined it filled with Alots holding 200 lb dumbells in their mouths, I felt a lot better.

Susan said...

This is my first visit to your blog. This particular post is absolutely hilarious and right up my alley.

Jan Markley said...

I hear alots make great pets!

alysdexia said...

Erudite Madman dumbass, learn the meaning of should rather than ou[g]ht, a- (not for articula) and -ium as affixes, how laymens isn't a word, and the meaning of conjunction. Alot is a grammatical botchup whereas alright from all right, with the same meaning, is merely a spelling chist. Belive you? Shut you. Why don't you spell fonètically and speak litteratim (in English, not Einglish, in Latin, Hellènic, and so on). And don't meng English and Latin staffers, dolt; you need a modifier to shift vowels in English.

Julie, there's nothing wrong endan statements with prepositions when they're modifiers: (in hýpothetic Englisc-English sets) at|out, in|em (or ym, ymb), on|off, for|of, forth|orth. Learn English (900–1400), ye! (not yee.) Can anyone here find or make English words for "idea" or "proof"? Of course not, Commonwealts are too long dumb—wist and bewit.

Andrew, English infinitivs end in -an; to verb is a prospective aspect with a supine participul.

Anonymous: a person -> one; the person -> who.

Jen said...

This was wonderful! I've been editing all day and this really made me smile. Great post.

Meghan said...

This is the best thing I have ever seen.

Meghan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
EternalSunshine said...

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/misspelling

Yet another great site about how to spell and use grammar properly. I hope this post helps my pet peeve act up less often. Lordy people.

Anonymous said...

This is cute. It made me "aw" and that never happens.

Vanessa said...

Your blog is awesome. I agree that the incorrect spelling and use of grammar is unnerving at these times. Your ALOT is a good coping mechanism. It's also very cute.

Michelle said...

Ugh, I hate it when people misspell receive too. The “recieve” creature surely must be related to the alot.

Connor said...

This is one of the most fantastic things I've ever read. I can't stop laughing!

Just the other day I read on Facebook about someone putting up with "alot of crap." And now...oh dear...the images.

MandiJean said...

This was pretty funny. the whole a lot thing is one of the few grammar things that actaully bother me. I'm fine with 'im' or 'u' but a lot erks me. oh somthing else taht erks me is when people ue is insted or are or vise-vers, like 'He are cure' or 'They is cool' it really makes me mad.

Kris Z said...

If I were to write an article on incorrect grammar, I would entitle it "There's No Such Word as 'Funner.'" This word was used by a 5th-grade teacher during a teacher's meeting.
I would also like people to stop misusing their pronouns, as in "me and her served on the committee together," also used during a teacher's meeting by a 1st-grade teacher who is now a principal.
This really makes me shiver!

Karen said...

Kris Z told about a principal who doesn't understand objective and subjective pronouns.

I taught with a woman (over 30 years ago) who insisted on using 'myself' instead of 'me'. I think she thought it sounded more educated. She was wrong.

min fidler said...

I'm with Anonymous on the 'would of, could of' thing, it's wrong, wrong, wrong!
I love how language changes, but dammit, how I hate change grr

romandruid said...

I want posters of Alot for my junior high language arts classroom. No, really, I do. :)

Anonymous said...

>implying implications about grammer

Tawna Fenske said...

Holy crap, I laughed so hard, I cried.

Alot.

Tawna

Judith said...

u make me lmao alot

Joshua said...

You claim to be a grammar enthusiast, yet you say, "you can be like"? The ironing is delicious. Other than that, this is one of very few things on the Internet that I'm genuinely glad that I clicked.

R. Duckie said...

there are alot of eagles on utube

Auntie M said...

Absolutely brilliant. I was just introduced to your wonderful site via FB.
I had begun to think that the rules of proper English (ok, make that American English) have changed since I left college a decade ago(ok, more than a decade). But apparently the rules haven't changed: people are simply lazier or more ignorant.
Honestly! I have had minor brain damage due to an illness and I still recognize poor grammar when I hear or see it!
Do you ever read the AP news online (didn't it used to be on-line?)? They drive me utterly crazy! They used the word "Funner" in a headline!! They use ALOT a lot, nevermind allright or alright (though I do believe alright may be a Canadian convention). Yesterday I was unable to move past their inappropriately long headline about a woman saving some ducklings because the picture with the article was of a criminal wearing a federal orange jumpsuit. I realize this isn't a grammatical issue (probably just laziness) but really! The article (after reading carefully) didn't mention a criminal at all!
Anyway, thanks for making my day. I shall now picture your wonderfully drawn creatures rather than go insane.

Anonymous said...

quite brilliant, gave me a good laugh

AMBELLINA said...

OMG, you have 700+ comments? That's crazy talk.

Ok, I know you'll never read this because I'm way at the end and who can read that many comments and still do everything they need to do in life...oh wait, maybe you will read this. lol.

My super irritating spell check mistake is the word "noone" And it has, for some reason, become a trend. This misspelling of the words "no one" had me wondering at first just what the fuck "noone" meant. So I looked it up. It is someone's last name, but otherwise it isn't a word. But now I will make a creature like the ALOT only with six legs like those cool horses on Avatar. I will name it the Noone (which I will pronounce noon-E). Thanks for helping me cope with my problems. Although, now I am late for work.

Anonymous said...

This post would have been perfect had you not used the dreaded singular they. Having been inspired by your post, I suppose I will now picture siamese twins, or perhaps a three-headed dragon, whenever I come across this particular bit of bad grammar.

Casey said...

I am completely in love with the Alot. I'm going to second or third, or infinitely contribute my wish for an Alot t-shirt. I would purchase copious amounts (at least two, which represents the value of "copious" when you are in college and living on a college-kid budget of Ramen and replacement Brita water filters) of said t-shirt and use them to enforce the use of proper grammar.

Also, I'm sure you have plenty of other things to read, but I have a small anecdote that I'd like to include in case you really ARE that bored. The other day, I was correcting my suite-mate on her incorrect use of the past-tense of a word, which had followed my correction of her inability to have her sentences' subjects in agreement. (Sentences such as, "Me, him and her went to dinner," are occasionally uttered, which I feel compelled to auto-correct like MS Word.) After she scowled at me (but corrected her sentence!) she tried to rally friends towards her cause, stating that I was being a, "mean grammar- Nazi." So, naturally, I turned to the English major sitting at the end of the table, and basically cried, "BUT DON'T YOU THINK THAT IT'S IMPORTANT!?"

You can only guess the face of shock and awe that I made as he guffawed at my apparent need for properly spoken English by stating, "Nah, it doesn't matter how things are said, as long as it gets the point across."
...
I ranted. Quite ferociously for a few moments before internalizing it and hoping to stumble across other people that care as much as I do about basic, elementary level English. Thanks, Alot.

Your posts are fantastic, and I have greatly enjoyed going back and reading every single one of them. Every. Single. One. It's meant as a compliment, not a creep, mind you.

Anonymous said...

Is there any explanation for why eagles misuse exclamation marks? Or are they scratch marks made by their talons at the end of each sentence?

Anonymous said...

Is there any explanation for why eagles misuse exclamation marks? Or are they scratch marks made by their talons at the end of each sentence?

Anonymous said...

I love the alot alot. Thank you for posting this!

Nino said...

The anecdote about the English major who felt that it doesn't matter how you say something as long as you get the point across is appalling. We expect this kind of Philistine attitude from Cock fighters, pro wrestlers, or Fox News fans, but an English major is supposed to be at the vanguard of preserving respect for the language. A person like him is analogous to an atheist joining the priesthood.

Karen said...

Yes, but this seems to be a pervasive attitude among even those who consider themselves intellectuals. Some award or recognition suddenly makes them the final word on language usage. It's tiresome.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for assuring me that I'm not alone. :) Now I just need to figure out something for prepositions at the end of phrases.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for assuring me that I'm not alone. :) Now I just need to figure out something for prepositions at the end of phrases.

Rose Marion said...

Thanks so much for this article!! Now when I see "alot," instead of ripping the space bar off every keyboard in the room, I can just think of the Alot and calm down :)

And @Nadia, my husband and I say irregardless on a regular basis, just because it makes us giggle!! I'm so lucky he "gets" my grammar thing.

christie ! said...

I think this deserves the "Best Post of All Time" Award. I'm probably going to marry it, since I see no ring.

Rizzra said...

This just made my day at work alot better! Thank's =)

Anonymous said...

You should make one up for "your" as well. I fucking hate when people don't know the difference between "you're" and "your"!

the Amateur Book Blogger said...

I'd like to buy a t-shirt with ALOT on it! x

Jasmine said...

My dad just told me, "your opinion matters alot." You know what this means? ALOT! Double dose of cool, dad. :)

Ulysses said...

Beautifully considered. Thank-you for this.

I can't help but notice, though, that the eagle is using a keyboard where the exclamation point is NOT a shift-1. Must be a special-order item, or a factory second.

Val said...

Tell me, is the Alot a sibling of Awhile. If this is true, then their parents are general and consensus and they belong to the same difference family tree. Of course, my comment only has merit if it's peppered with hyphens plonked down in inappropriate places. Sadly, it would appear I've failed. ;)

Brad Bricktower said...

I am appeased at an attempt to alter the alt "a lot/alot" allotment lot... a lot. Also, the Alot is awesome (allow an appositive apology to assuage any anger from my asinine assonance.)

Anonymous said...

A few of my pet peeves are:

- for all intensive purposes (instead of for all intents and purposes)
- irregardless (regardless already means without regard...hence the 'less')
- butt naked (the correct word is "buck")
- Could care less (when people clearly mean that they could NOT care less)

Rebecca T. Little said...

I want an alot tee shirt...and a notebook. Maybe a totebag. You should, if you haven't already, put these cuties on cafepress so we can all love alot!

Rebecca
http://rebeccatlittle.blogspot.com/

Dawn said...

Seriously hilarious. I also pictured LUGO from Labyrinth for the voice of Alot.

Anonymous said...

I love Alots alot!
any plans for making stuffed toys? :)

LS Murphy said...

I imagined "Charging Alot" using a creidt card.

Anonymous said...

One grammar Nazi to another, I just wanted to point out the following:

If I come across a person who seems to completely ignore the existence of apostrophes and capital letters and types things like "im an eagle and im typing with my talons, so dont make fun of me cuz this is hard," I like to imagine that HE actually IS an eagle typing with HIS talons.


Just sayin'. Because you chose to use the singular "someone," all referring pronouns should also be singular.

I can't help myself!
I love the Alot.

Rebecca C. said...

I laughed so hard I cried... alot.

Meredith said...

Okay, I think I just had an out of body experience laughing at this. I love finding people who are grammar sticklers. I'm a grammar stickler. I'm even a member of the Apostrophe Preservation Society (no joke!). I was heartily amused until I got to "Alot of Beer." Then I lost my mind.

Thanks, Alot!

Meredith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
smcginnis said...

There are a few things I really can't stand. One is when people leave out apostrophes. Another is when they put them where they don't belong. I've seen this used not only for plurals, but also for "your"; e.g., "you're drawings are good". It's like they're trying to be better at grammar, and they end up overcorrecting themselves.

And then there's one that I've pretty much only seen off-line; the use of quotes where they don't belong. Such as, Please call us for any questions or comments regarding our services. "We value your input". They don't seem to realize that quotes used for anything but dialogue or quoting usually signify mocking of the quoted phrase.

P.S. I'm using British-sytle punctuation for clarity, even though I otherwise prefer my own variety of English (Californian).

Dan Michael said...

You inspired me to draw more and to use stupid mispronunciations that annoy me as inspiration for those stupid drawings.
Here is one of the Uzz. A friend of mine says Uzz instead of us and it shits me. So I drew this for him and it reminded me of your Alot so here ya go: http://www.rocketdogbulldozer.com/?p=1013
I don't think my drawings are very good, but I do use pencils instead of MS Paint. Lol.

Ok bye.
Dan

Hindia said...

LOL, for the win.

Gooter said...

I have to tell you Allie, you have inspired me to condense "a lot" into "alot" be the Alot is so damn awesome!

P.S. I absofuckinglutely love your work, this is the only blog I have ever and will ever read.

Turner said...

So a friend of mine pointed out, in response to me linking her to this post, the following: http://www.zazzle.com/my_daddy_knows_alot_but_my_mommy_knows_al_tshirt-235764421095952226

I submit that the alot is bisexual and rather inclined towards the ladies.

Also, I've been laughing my butt off at this post for the last week. Thank you. I really needed the giggle involved.

Faithelizabeth said...

Someone should show this blog to the people in charge of this:
http://home.alot.com/
:]

Amber said...

I've always known the difference between "a lot" and "alot" and I know one is right and one is wrong but I can't EVER REMEMBER which one is which until spell check is like RED DOTTED UNDERLINE OF DEATH and then I remember.

But now I don't need spell check! I remember your post. You have made me a better person.

Dianne - Bunny Trails said...

LOVE it!! I don't remember how I found you, but I'll be back alot. :D

Kathryn said...

I just read this: "I grew up listening to alot of weird underground punk."

The image was fantastic.

aeongirrl said...

my friends call me Alot.....

Andrea said...

So that's why spell check always corrects me! huh.. see learned something new. thanks!

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