The Alot is Better Than You at Everything

As a grammatically conscientious person who frequents internet forums and YouTube, I have found it necessary to develop a few coping mechanisms.  When someone types out "u" instead of "you," instead of getting mad, I imagine them having only one finger on each hand and then their actions seem reasonable.  If I only had one finger on each hand, I'd leave out unnecessary letters too!


If I come across a person who seems to completely ignore the existence of apostrophes and capital letters and types things like "im an eagle and im typing with my talons, so dont make fun of me cuz this is hard," I like to imagine that they actually are an eagle typing with their talons.  It would be a hassle if you had to hop in the air and use your feet to karate-chop two keys simultaneously every time you wanted to use the shift key to make a capital letter.   Also, eagles lack manual dexterity, so I can understand why they'd want to leave out apostrophes.  Eagles are all about efficiency.  


But there is one grammatical mistake that I particularly enjoy encountering.  It has become almost fun for me to come across people who take the phrase "a lot" and condense it down into one word, because when someone says "alot," this is what I imagine:


The Alot is an imaginary creature that I made up to help me deal with my compulsive need to correct other people's grammar.  It kind of looks like a cross between a bear, a yak and a pug, and it has provided hours of entertainment for me in a situation where I'd normally be left feeling angry and disillusioned with the world.  

For example, when I read the sentence "I care about this alot," this is what I imagine: 


Similarly, when someone says "alot of _______", I picture an Alot made out of whatever they are talking about.  


If someone says something like "I feel lonely alot" or "I'm angry alot," I'm going to imagine them standing there with an emo haircut, sharing their feelings with an Alot.  


The Alot is incredibly versatile. 


So the next time you are reading along and you see some guy ranting about how he is "alot better at swimming than Michael Phelps," instead of getting angry, you can be like "You're right!  Alots are known for their superior swimming capabilities."
  

784 comments:

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Veronica Marcetti Dimick said...

P.S. I linked you all over the damn place on this one. SMOOCH!

Wayward American said...

Thank you for this post for two reasons.

1. I now can read posts and imagine the wonderful Alot and secretly want one!

2. I have a page full of advice to give my husband to stop him being an internet grammar douche.

Misty said...

The Alot plushie is totally going to be created to decorate my desk and keep me smiling through the work day. Hehehehe.

Marie said...

Thank you for saving my life. It was either become amused with stupidity or give up coffee. And I like coffee. Alot.

Anonymous said...

Thanks I knew there was something about alot that grammar pedants didn't like, but I thought it had to do with whether it had two Ts in it. Now I know that it's just not a word.

P.S. I run a a hospital.

premaru said...

i wov you, Alot.

Marjorie The Main Dish said...

You rock, Allie. Now, if I may request one itty bitty favor: many of your darling devotees need a reimder about YOUR and YOU'RE, which happens to be the other error that drives me up a tree. You know, when you can get around to it. Many, many thanks!!!

Angie said...

I think you should make this into a plush toy. I'd buy one.

Maureen said...

Oh what a cute little guy, I bet he gets that alot.

Belisama said...

If you developed this into a poster, I'd totally buy it for my classroom. As it is I printed it out and shared it with them. Thanks for giving us a laugh and I can't believe it took me this long to discover your blog. The awesomeness is overwhelming.

Anonymous said...

I could do without the ableism, but the alot is cute.

Jason Staub said...

Just so you know a lot is two words, not one

fairyhedgehog said...

This is truly wonderful!

Gerry said...

I love the fact that you managed to give the numerous people who also are afflicted with "brain-hurting" cringes upon seeing "alot" a new way to react.

Unfortunately your job is not done yet. By creating a animal-based noun to be used in daily life, you have failed to properly introduce the noun by indicating how it is to be pluralized and how to refer to a collection.

Pluralized seems easy: "There are many alots in that article"

But what about the collection? A herd of alots? A swarm? Given the ability to get creative (ie, murder of crows, sounder of swine, wedge of swans) you should try to kill two birds with one stone here and go with something like:

"An irregardless of alots"

thomas said...

Oh yes. Yes yes yes. Thank you. I will use Alots in herds, my life will be better from now on. Thank you

Gwen said...

I love this post! I think the emo kid sharing his feelings with the alot might be my favorite. And imagining illustrations for all the gratuitous misused alots in the comments added even more hilarity.

Anonymous said...

OH this is soo perfect!!!!! Thank you thank you thank you!!!! Finally I won't have to get angry anymore...sigh of relief.... I love your "I love alot" = my new screen saver!!!

Amber Lynne said...

So let me get this strait... An eagle can't type an apostrophe but can type an exclamation point?

I like this post, Alot.

allisonherbert said...

as a fellow grammar nazi, this could come in handy.

Thanks ALOT!

lotgk said...

What is the proper etiquette in combining A LOT to other words. Such as in the Austin Powers movie, The Spy Who Shagged Me, the girl in the hot tub, she said her name was
Alottavagina.

Anonymous said...

I love this - I'd love an Alot T-shirt though. Please? Thanks so much, you made me laugh.

Anonymous said...

Ah, thank you. The "Alot" will forever be engraved into my mind and will undoubtedly be used extensively.

Metaphoria said...

Allie,
I have to say, I am quite impressed by your wonderful humor and grammatical prowess. Your writing is enchanting--and agree with everything you write a lot. Oh, and I like Alot also.
Question though: how do you feel about smiley faces? I use them a lot and just can't seem to stop... It's as if I'm addicted to the darn things... Thoughts? ;)

Nicholas said...

Alot of awesomeness. :)

Sweetest in the Gale said...

I love this post...it's brilliant! And I love your blog so much I may "loose" my mind. (That's the other one that drives my crazy!) Thanks for your wonderful take on life -- you make me laugh out loud every time I visit.

catnip said...

Thank you so much for making me feel a lot saner.

As well as the ubiquitous your/you're mixups, my personal pet hates are onto vs. on to and into vs. in to.

Iron Citadel said...

You must be a member of the Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar.
http://www.spogg.org

Little Ninja said...

You saved my head from exploding from overdoses of ignorance. Thank you.

I LOVE YOU!
In a totally normal and non-creepy way.

:)

susy said...

I hate it when people say "would of" instead of Would have! arrghh!
Your explanations for these will help me enjoy reading bad grammar instead of wanting to scratch my eyes out!

A Nurse's Curses said...

I posted "ALOT!" as my Facebook status, and someone responded, "alot of cake?"

So I made ALOT of cake. So amazing. He has icing and candles and everything.

Wendy Blue said...

Ahh, now I get it - so next time my boyfriend texts me that he's got "Alot on [his] mind, blah blah blah" I won't take it so personally. In fact, who could blame him - and I really hope he gets me one for my birthday :)

Ashley King said...

totally guilty of not capitalizing here....
sorry. =)

elizawhat.com said...

I think this is my favorite set of drawings and post in general, Allie. I'm going to have so much more fun on the internet now, because bad grammar irks me too, and the Alot seems very helpful.

You know what's more annoying, though? "Irregardless." It makes me want to stomp someone's face in.

Anonymous said...

so why does the bottom of your blog page read, "All drawings and words are belong to me"?

U are an idiot

William Helton said...

This is, by far, the absoulte dumbest blog entry I have ever read in my life.

Coutless people IM, text and/or post using a variety of abbreviations, many of which I'm sure have all of their phalanges and are of at least average intelligence. I am 100% guilty of each and every one of your pet-peeves, but I also have an IQ close to 180.

"Alot," "u," "im" are obviously not very far from the grammatically correct versions of themselves, otherwise you wouldn't have made up an imaginary friend in order to justify them.

I challenge you to blog about something with true importance and meaning in this world.

U are an idiot...now make my venti iced caramel frappucinno and don't forget the whip this time.

Kim said...

I love the "alot" comment, but what's wrong with abbreviations? It's not a paper, people are just quickly commenting on things, so I don't see what's wrong with quick text. Eliminating apostrophes and typing "u" instead of "you" is just internet shorthand.

P.S. What kills me is when people write "your" instead of "you're". "Your the best!"

Aphre said...

William Helton, I'm not surprised your IQ is so high. Yours must have been the sort of parents that thought a good vocabulary would make up for a complete lack of manners. It doesn't. As mentioned previously, abbreviations are lazy, and it is absolutely her right to complain that people would rather communicate with gibberish than correct English. Just as it's your right to not enjoy her blog...but there is no place for rudeness like that. Move along now, little boy.

Allie. The Alot is adorable, and I loved the entry. Keep it up :D

Michelle said...

This is great. I am going to have to tweet it out to the world. Well done!

Kim said...

Ew, what's William's problem? I guess an IQ of 180 isn't high enough to help you figure out how to get a stick out of your ass. Also, I assume the bottom of your blog is a joooooooooke if you're a grammar lover, sheesh Anonymous!

Sarah Walraven said...

Amazing. Genius. I like this alot. BAHAHAHAHA!

Kate said...

Absolutely brilliant. Now I'm going to be picturing 'alots' too.
-Kate

Chl said...

I hate that crap too. Even in texts it annoys me. And for the record I actually know a guy with two fingers on each hand. He has a blog and doesn't do any of that crap so there's pretty much no excuse for the rest of us.

Kyle said...

Yesterday in Starbucks, the woman in front of me ordered a coffee and an artesian breakfast sandwich. Oh, well.

Amy L. Campbell said...

This is pretty amazing. And I suddenly have the urge to make out with your intellect. Alot.

Lawrence David said...

With regard to "u" instead of "you" (as in the well-established colloquialism "I wrote him an IOU"), I find it helpful to remember, cf., that, when writing in Spanish, it is standard to use "U." to mean "you." As a bonus, using a single-letter pronoun U manifests a nice parity with the single-letter pronoun I.

Kristin Laughtin said...

Brilliant. I am going to start linking people to this when they make any of these errors. My roommate and I were just discussing the overbearing presence of "alot" the other day! Now we're both enamored and want our own alot.

Like Nadia commented above me, I'd love to see your take on "irregardless" as well. After discussing "alot" a lot with my roomie, that was the next example I brought up. How can something be without irregard?!

Ashley said...

I was going to correct your spelling (spacing?) mistake in your title; now I understand. :)

X Bakes X said...

Hahaha. You make me laugh, Alot.

Orange Walrus said...

There's a beautiful irony about this wonderful post - I bet there's not a comments page on the whole internet with as many instances people using 'alot' as this one...and it's brilliant!

WilliamHelton said...

so...would anyone like to rescue Allie with an explanation of why the bottom of her blog has the following grammatically-challenged headline: "All drawings and words are belong to me"?

Anonymous said...

Thank you; I'm a moderator on a forum that has a writing section, which is one of my main responsibilities there. There are a few people who have strong grammar, spelling, and punctuation issues, including letting the spell check function loose without stopping to check if the meaning of the suggested replacement word has anything to do with the intended word.
"Alot" has been a distinct issue; I think I will name my miniature stuffed warthog and moose "This" and "That", and then when someone says they love "This" alot, or "That" alot, I'll know which they mean, and can picture them hugging Alot This or Alot That.

While the "you're/your(and even yore)" and "their/they're/there" issues bother me, my current peeve is "Reign/rein/rain". Please, can you do something about that?

On the "u r rite 4 me" txt front, I can comprehend it in texting situations. I do not understand or approve of it when you're not on a tiny keyboard. It reminds me of the story of the professor who thought he could slow down on his way through a STOP sign. The police office pulled him over and the prof. made the argument that no-one was hurt, so what did it matter if he slowed instead of stopping. The officer had him get out of the car and started beating the prof. with his nightstick. "Now, do you want me to stop, or slow down?"

Exactly the issue here. They are distinct from each other, and people need to understand this, as well as the fact that it applies to all of us, not just those with lower IQ.

Thank you for the lovely post.

Zeynep said...

This post has forever changed the way I read the internet.

Anonymous said...

What about "taco's"? I go a little insane scanning menus at restaurants and seeing foods with apostrophes. It just doesn't seem right. I am glad I'm not the only one who gets annoyed by this! And "supposably"? Actually I have never seen that one written out, just heard it pronounced that way! How do I gracefully correct someone who actually says that word!!! Or the word "ax" when they really mean "ask? Is it too much to ax them to pronounce it correctly?

annie_a said...

you know, you can make a pretty good living from obsessively spotting mistakes and correcting other people's grammar.

It's called proofreading - that's what I do.

and on a side note - I want a stuffed alot, please.

Anonymous said...

I have to admit a dirty little secret I have never told anyone else. When I text my teenage daugther I shorted words like "you" to "u" and "too" to "2". (My secret is safe with her, because she understands why I do it.) But I'm telling the whold world now...the reason is because I am becoming visually impaired and am too lazy to get my glasses on while I'm driving and texting back to my kid. (I can't wait til they ban texting while driving in my state, because then I have a rule to follow.)

Anonymous said...

I have to admit a dirty little secret I have never told anyone else. When I text my teenage daugther I shorted words like "you" to "u" and "too" to "2". (My secret is safe with her, because she understands why I do it.) But I'm telling the whold world now...the reason is because I am becoming visually impaired and am too lazy to get my glasses on while I'm driving and texting back to my kid. (I can't wait til they ban texting while driving in my state, because then I have a rule to follow.)

Anonymous said...

When someone tells me they want to axe a question, I tend to do a big visible cringe and ask if they can use a hatchet instead. More than half of them don't get the joke; they don't even realize that they've done it. I tend to guess that it began with a dyslexic teacher, possibly teaching escaped slaves (yay for that, but boo for the perpetuated errore) to read and write, and spelling it wrong. If you write "ask" and then "aks", and then someone hears it read that way, and they spell it ax, or axe... Well, it's irrelevant, but it's an amusing guess, and makes me slightly less annoyed at the error. The really irritating part for me is that people who should be better educated than that use it. They use it a lot. I picture the poor alot with an axe stuck in his skull. :(

Laura said...

I find this one and "noone" (when someone means no one) to be infuriating

Post Grad Hair Cut said...

Hahahaha.

Oh wow.

Yes!

I love your blog.

Really great.

Miss Mayhem said...

I love this post alot!

Sophie Neutron said...

I'm really, really bad with my own grammar and pretty much anything to do with words...please don't hate me...

Also, I am a big fan of you Alot. And you to Allie!

Madeleine said...

Brilliant and hysterical!!

I want a pet Alot. I'd train it to savage people who don't properly punctuate and have no idea what grammar is. You're not the only one who wants to correct everyone's English.

mepsipax said...

See, why couldn't you say this years ago. You could have saved me alot of therapy. I hate that. :D
your welcum

Alice said...

this really is going to help. your alot is quite adorable, and will help me think about things other than murdering people. yay!

JiveTractor said...

My friends and me love this. With your permission I hereby dedicate this to them and I.

Candice said...

Thank you, this really helps me deal with this horrible error. You should make some stuffed Alots and sell them.

Rick said...

there r alot of alot's around where i live. there all over my back yard. sometimes i catch one cuz i like feeling there furry fur. but one bit me once so i more like playing with my less dangerous baby.

TLMarlin said...

Oh my god, I thought I was the only person who yelled at my computer for things like that. I know it's not the computer's fault, but I can't help but take it out on something. Imagining eagles and Alots will now make my life a lot easier, and more anger-free : )

Allie, you are fantastic!

foxy said...

I have alot of alots. He's super cute and I love him to death.

Bridget Callahan said...

This is completely unrelated, but I want to complain that THERE IS NO MORE WORD BUBBLES and that has ruined my day.

I would also like to suggest you substitute me as that link. I would offer to make you a pie if I thought that would help. It probably won't though. You're all famous and such.

Cheese In The Crust said...

"loose" instead of "lose" is my biggest pet peeve..Can you actually loose at a game of basketball or loose your shirt in a game of cards? I see it all too often and it's making me loose my mind.

Thanks for sharing and thanks alot for being so darn cute (you should make a stuffed animal of him and sell it in your store).

E. Lee said...

Teehee, Google Ads on this post:

BALD EAGLE PHOTOS
INSTANT GRAMMAR CHECKER "Correct All Grammar Errors And Plagiarism!" (Um, lose the Title Case and isn't it supposed to be "grammatical errors?")
ARE YOU DEPRESSED?

Absolutely Small said...

Oh my goodness, do I ever love this post.
At least we know that "Alots" are in NO DANGER of ever becoming extinct, eh?

Adrienne Hadaway said...

Another classic. I will forever picture that beast when I come across a stupid/lazy person.

JennySays said...

Love this! I would also love to see a picture of Alotta Fagina from Austin Powers

Green Of Eye, Sharp Of Claw said...

Allie,
i was having the worst possible day in the history of mankind(melodramatic much?!), on the verge of tears and this post made me laugh my ass off.

I want a pet alot now. Keep on keeping on because you're awesome :)

Sub said...

This is cute, and all, but "alot" is accepted usage.

Variant, yes, but accepted:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/alot

Claire said...

Now I have that Faith No More song stuck in my head.

Dev1ANT said...

This really made me smile :)

Sophie Neutron said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Maude said...

Have you read "Fox 8," a short story by George Saunders? I would have written that sentence differently, but I'm uncertain of possessive apostrophe use in the word "Saunders." Saunders's? Saunders'?
Anyway your (magnificent) blog post reminded me of that story.
That is all.

Hob said...

That's a beautiful thing. Please ignore rude people with no sense of humor.

ps. The eagles stole their excuse from Archy.

Kirsten said...

Can't stop giggling. The Alot is my new best friend.

Jamie said...

That is a cute Alot. Great now none of my sentences make sense!

Your blog fills me with alot of happiness!

LOVE ALOT(S)!
Speaking of which...isn't there a carebear named "Care-a-lot?"
Now I'm seeing an Alot doing the Carebear Stare.

Richie said...

I want a plush Alot. :)

Anonymous said...

how 'bout the improper use of "well" vs. "good"?

or "neither" vs. "either"?

this redonkulous topic just opens up more redonkulous topics. the observances that U all have made (and will, no doubt, continue to make) can go around in circles indefinitely.

most of U people spend all UR time blogging about this stupid and inconsequential sh*t when U should be looking for a job...no wonder this country is so f*cked up.

Rachel said...

please please please make Alot t-shirts. I NEED one! I'm thinking the "I Care About This Alot" one would be perfect.

Anonymous said...

Rachel "NEEDS" an "I Care About This Alot" t-shirt? She's going to die without one?

WOW...someone give Rachel an "I Care About This Alot" before we all get sued for her death.

Sad.

Chick in the City said...

The endearing quality of this post makes up for your anal-retentiveness :)

Adriana said...

Adorable alot!

Delicia said...

Ok that Alot is ADORABLE, and now I'm going to feel so much much better whenever I see someone use "alot". Thank you!!!

Amber said...

This is going to be a great tool for teachers to use in their classes! Thanks!

jaclynclaire said...

The Alot is a pretty awesome animal. I love his sponge-like qualities (based on what he looks like swimming against Mr. Phelps anyway)

I think you saw on Twitter, and maybe there are other comments in here (THERE ARE WAY TOO MANY FOR ME TO READ MYSLEF, SO SORRY IF THIS IS A REPEAT!) but Wil Wheaton, a real live celebrity who was just on Big Bang Theory this very WEEK tweeted about your blog! I've been reading your back-entrys (? Is that what that's called?) and I know you seem very unsure of your awesome bloggy success, but be prepared to be inundated with many more witty/not so witty commenters and readers now!

Taking over the internets! With the Alot! Yay!

Simone Says... said...

holy crap, girl! look at all of your new readers. you're blowing up, like alot.

Kristin said...

The thing is, if people write "alot" in a sentence and don't capitalize it, you would have to assume they are an eagle AND speaking of an Alot, and are therefore unable to capitalize his name (a proper noun).

IndigoMoose said...

I really liked this post. In addition to many of the pet peeves mentioned, there seems to be a slow death of punctuation. I received an email recently that was an entire paragraph long, with no capital letters, no commas, no periods. Then there is the semicolon - who uses that? And don't forget about too, to, two.
I'm glad to see there are so many people who even notice all these things; I was beginning to wonder if anyone cared anymore.

Anonymous said...

I love your Alot! It's kin to the ubiquitous Lert, I am certain...you know... when people say things like "Oh, yeah, you're really a Lert!"...

Katrina said...

Your blog is amazing. My Mom found it last week, and I have been procrastinating on nearly everything in order to read it through to the end.

Mission accomplished.

These alots will help me so much when I encounter someone who doesn't know proper grammar. It is my biggest pet peeve!

Thank you for sharing all of these wonderful, hilarious posts. Keep it up, I'll follow until you or I go crazy.

Leslie said...

Hugs, Hugs, Hugs for Allie and her gentle grammar correction pictures. How many hugs? Not alot - A LOT.

ann I am said...

I just found your blog-- you may have covered this already but if not, will you please cover "noone" the non-word idiots use when they mean no one. At least alot looks like it might be right. "Noone" just looks stupid.

Lanned said...

i have a pet alot. it eats apostrophes and capital letters. its whole purposre is to enrage grammer people. i really dont like the alot cause it makes me look stupid but it has threatened to eat my brain so what can i do?

CC said...

I just had to share this one I came across:

"I'm not asexual... actually, I have sex. Alot. I should stop it."

I'm not quite sure how to process now. It's so funny.

Anonymous said...

You know, I'm all for encouraging good grammar, but the fact is that unless you're referring to real estate, or a "batch" of goods grouped as a lot. you're already misusing the word lot.

Eventually that misuse made it into the dictionary. Rest assured, alot will as well.

Frankly alot never bothered me. Again, "A lot" is usually misused, so might as well make up a word for the meaning.

Travis said...

Can we please - please - PLEASE have Alot on a t-shirt, or series of t-shirts?

Travis said...

OH MY GOSH THERE ARE ALOT TEES! It's like you're reading my mind.

TexPatriate said...

You have now made me capable of reading the internetz again.

Thanks. . . Alot !

Bryce said...

You make me smile, alot.

Bryce said...

Also; you need to make an "alot" shirt. Preferably the meowing alot.

Salt said...

Alot looks an awful lot like my cat. Especially in the meowing picture. I want to hug him.

julia said...

I am discovering new treasures every time I re-read this post. The emo hair on the guy telling the Alot he's sad? Fabulous.

Also, that;s a pretty good eagle, especially for mac paint.

lovvvve youuuuuu

Tela said...

I'm stealing your coping mechanism.

Can you think of one for "moot" and "mute" points... maybe "jive" and "jibe" talking...? "Fleshing" something out vs "flushing" it out...

You'd be doing a great service.

Gary said...

Dear Alexandra,

I have no qualms about it. You may be the funniest blogger I have ever had the fortune of reading from. If anything, you are at least the funniest person of the female persuation I have ever met.

Stay funny,
Gary

Jean Ohlerking said...

I'm a first-time reader of your delightful blog. You are singing my song. May I indulge myself and cast a couple of my own grammatical gripes upon you? 1. Bring & take. You bring it here, take it there. 2. The redundancy of "A.M. in the morning" bugs the fire out of me. Even TV reporters are saying it. Thank you for your refreshing post.

Vanessa said...

I thought that alots would be scary until I saw that they mewed. I think I might want one.

Halfcakes said...

Ooh, I had to rant yesterday with "irregardless" at work. I mean, if they want to make up words, why not be more creative, like retrospectroscope? Or imaginerize?

Is it rude to correct someone's grammar in bed?

dogimo said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

Allie. It's like you've been saving your best post forever, to spring it on us.

And you make a habit of this.

It's positively unhinge-y.

f.sturgis said...

I think I love the alots more than I love raptors!

Gaidig said...

Thanks for the illustrations. Now, I really want a plush alot. I think it would be so cute!

M Kramer said...

This is the BEST POST EVER. I teach English, and I've shown in to everyone in my department (two of my colleagues laughed until they cried) and then I made my class look at it, too. Seriously, we need posters.

Anonymous said...

One that had me shaking my head was a restaurant that advertised "Homade Pies". Good God, I hope she washed her hands before she started baking.

Strawberry Templetons said...

Hey, guess who's on Neatorama? You are! Here's the link: http://www.neatorama.com/2010/04/14/the-alot/

Strawberry Templetons said...

Oh. God. I just saw Gaidig's post. Please, please, PLEASE make a plush alot and add it to your store. I will buy one, possibly two. Amazing.

Do you realize you could probably write a children's story just with the alot and have a plush to go with it? You'll be a million/bajillionaire. Fact.

spoofmaster said...

@Jennifer McLean @Raconteur:

Did you miss the part where it was a joke? I was angry, too, until I realized that the comment "Noone cares what you think" came with a photo of Peter Noone. So it's "Peter Noone cares what you think," cleverly disguised as a misspelling of "No one cares what you think."

I feel like I should not have to step in and explain the joke. :(

ASSHOLE BOYFRIEND said...

If you hate bad grammar, I must drive you fucking nuts. I type with my teeth. I missed you, was it me?

Anni said...

He's lovely. I love alot. Also, his friend thankyou.

thetarotfool said...

This is beautiful. ^.^

fly`on`wall said...

Dear Allie,

You owe my cat an apology. He was trying to sleep (since it's 3:18am) and my insane laughter has woken him up. He's giving me a dirty look and it's all your fault.

Leia said...

When I posted a link to this on Facebook, the security code I had to type in was "its provided". How many its are provided, and what do they look like? Can I have one of those, too?

Thank you for your rants. The illustrations make them doubly hilarious. So far I've only read this post and the one on spiders, but I now see that at some point I will have to read them all.

bimk said...

This is incredibly funny! Thank you so much for sharing. I love the Alot!

sira said...

alot t-shirts! you could design a whole line. instead of "alot of tees" they could be the "tees of alot." and maybe you will make a lot of alot $$$$$.

girl, you are hilarious.

jodi said...

This is great!
My brother and I used to have a sort of reverse of this when we were kids. My mother would say 'I'm getting annoyed,' probably because we were being terrible brats. Instead of taking this as a warning, we'd be all like 'A Noid?! Oh Mom, really? Oh that's wonderful, we've always wanted one of those... can we get a cat too?'
This usually escalated the situation somewhat.

Anyway, I've been reading your blog for a couple of weeks and I think it's splendid, and very funny!

Coopie said...

holy shit. there are alot of comments. lol

ok no but seriously, allie??? 331 fuckin comments before this one.

YOU WIN. THE END.

J said...

Good post, and those are great pictures. But I've known since I was in 4th grade (in 1978) that "alot" is an acceptable alternative spelling to "a lot". Seriously, look it up.

It's kind of like what I used to say: "Ain't ain't in the dictionary!" Well, actually, it is. We may prefer that it not be used in professional communication, but I mean come on.

Oh yeah, though, "fewer" vs "less": that could be a world-spanning apocalyptic clash between good and bad in the making.

joyce said...

I think you would enjoy yesterday's cakewrecks.com post as the grammar errors often appear on cakes. My favorite comment from yesterday's post: LOL! My grandmother was the principal of a very small, gang-riddled high school for a year when I was a teen. She said her greatest accomplishment was that the death threats (by letter) she received at the end of the year had much better grammar than the ones at the beginning of the year! :)
Love today's wrecks!

Malou said...

HAHHAHAHAHAHA.
This made me laugh ALOT. (;
So hilarious. People doooo always say alot though, it bothers me too. Thank you for turning that annoyance into something I like. (:
*ALOT* of Love, Malou.

(That'd be an Alot made of hearts)

Project90 said...

i am glad to know you think of me as an eagle. i really take that as a compliment. thank you.

alysdexia said...

Someone has no their and is not a they.

a someone -> one
the someone -> who
1 ≠ 2

Gon said...

Did you read any post made by any Indian programmer (some of them write just fine!!).

Show me teh codez!!!

There you can kill some people!!!

Anonymous said...

This is wonderful, thank you. And I'm with Veronica. The "your" vs. "you're" issue makes me want to hurt someone.

Anonymous said...

jeninmaine-- Are you sure your teacher didn't want you to spell the word "allot" instead? That is one word.

Julie said...

Thanks, Alot! You've helped me become a less grumpy grammar freak.

H said...

Love this blog! You are hysterical and brilliant.

OptimistPrime said...

The Alot looks like Appa from Avatar: The Last Airbender. I bet he is just as awesome.

LiLu said...

Now I want an Alot. I will spend the rest of the day making Alot calls to see if one comes running.

*haruuuuuuuuuuuumbh!!!!*

mareadyphotography said...

yessssssssss

Karen said...

Can you please draw alot of Spaghatta Nadle?

Sebastian said...

Ok, so a guy much further back in the comments page decided to have a small sense of humour (British, not spelling error, sports fans!) failure earlier, about the "are belong to me" at the bottom of the blog.

Well, this is from a very well known Internet meme from an old, poorly translated Japanese videogame, where a character's line is translated as "All your base are belong to us."

So yeah. Allie is not a hypocrite, or grammatically challenged. You can take your Valium and lie down now.

Anonymous said...

The misplaced "only" in the first cartoon bugs my alot!

KLZ said...

I care about this Alot.

Can I please, please, have that image? Please?

I can't tell you how hard it makes me laugh.

Sebastian said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sebastian said...

My boyfriend got me some plasticine for my birthday a while ago, and it had just been sat in a drawer.

I found this post.

This happened.

http://s31.photobucket.com/albums/c351/badlydrawnroy/Blog%20Stuff/?action=view&current=101_1757-1.jpg&t=1271346820382

He will now sit above my computer desk, guarding against bad grammar.

Later, when I become bored again, I may make a family for him.

Readerly Person said...

This is awesome! Just found your blog and will be returning. As a grammar stickler myself (sometimes), I totally sympathize. But I love the Alot. S/He's awesome too.

Susan said...

I like you. I really Sally Fields, Mr. Rogers effing like you. Let's get married and let Alot be the ring bearer. What do you say?

Laura said...

Oh thank you thank you, Alot!

I have had this argument with a friend of mine (he was arguing its efficiency, I was arguing just because).

I am now sending him this link :)

Tori said...

lol I really loved this =)
I hate when people CONJOIN a lot, too., but this just made my life!
Alots=cuteness and now I won't shake my head at people as much =) =) =)

Antiquated Tory said...

Wasn't the Alot in the Fiend Folio?

Susanna said...

I love this! Totally hilarious.

Erin said...

I love this so very much! Can I make a t-shirt please????? I want an "I care about this Alot" t-shirt... I want it more than is probably healthy!

Jessica said...

You're like the Shell Silverstein of our generation with those adorable Alot illustrations! Plus, I just can't help but love the fact that you cartooned a Phelps wearing a power- swimming-appropriate wanger hanger. Awesome!

Becca said...

https://twitter.com/theal0t

Anonymous said...

This is so totally fake and A lot GAY and Faggoty too and its a total crap...better commit suicide it would be Alot interesting....

Ron said...

As long as were dwelling on grammar, you should have more correctly opened this piece with "I have only two fingers," rather than "I only have two fingers."

Sorry. Like you, I can't shake the grammar habit.

HeadSprouter said...

Love Alots!!! Day ah da bestest!!! I will totally think of them now when I proof stuff... I work for a publisher... :)

Eric Newcomer said...

Heard on twitter: "Drinking green tea makes you pee alot."

Anonymous said...

was excited for a new time waster but then just read the post at the top of the page. more online whining about misssspelted words. this one about a lot/alot. officially, if 1 is urked by this shit, 1 sucks and is stupid. not saying i'm smarter. i may be a moron 2. just in different wayz. but this berkeley english grad and speaker of four languidges says if one spends time being annoyed by your you're its it's, etc. he/she is defunitely an idiot yoosing something some of us are fortunate enough to learn when we're 2 yeerz old to make his/herself feel bettuh about being a complete fucking waste of intellectual spayce.
it's an insult to nazis to call these people grammar nazis or spelling nazis or whatever you call them. yuck barf yuck. now to post this in the comments section. ugh i hate this (i'm sure you can tell)

lady_mason said...

@ the 'berkeley english grad and speaker of four languidges':

Wow. Berkeley must be really lowering their standards.

Also, you're worried about Nazis being insulted? Another wow.

PS. if you don't like it, read elsewhere.

Heather said...

Do you have any drawings of LOL? I have always wondered what LOL looks like.

Rod TBS Ayala said...

Sorri bout mi grammer and typos but i only have 1 tooth leff & i do mah best not 2 offend, regardless i am happy abunch, r u kewl wid dat? i have a nice dog & toaster bath toy mah gave me.

Readerly Person said...

@lady_mason re: anonymous Berkeley grad:

I'm thinking the egregious grammatical errors are on purpose, something to do with showing the world how much said Berkeley grad just doesn't care about all of us (generally) correct people.

Perhaps s/he doesn't realize that such a ridiculous comment presents the commenter as completely uneducated. It's about perception - when you write like that, people get the immediate "you're an idiot" impression.

Long story short, I agree with you.

Anonymous said...

Lol, this is too funny! I never really noticed the "alot" that much, it's the "your/you're" confusion that really gets me!!! I hate someone leaving a comment on my site like "your a good artist"...GRRR!!! Must delete!!

Debbie said...

True story: When my mother sold the building lot next to our family home and gave the proceeds to us kids, my brother, on receiving his check, held a glass of champagne aloft and said, "I have A LOT to be thankful for."

Oh(La) Susannah said...

I feel apart of this alot of the time. In fact I think a bunch of Aparts should get together with all the Alots and super-breed spelling mistakes like "accomodation", non-words like "irregardless" and mispronunciations like "ree-la-tor." It would give them something to do besides annoying the hell out of me. Great blog--THANKS!!

Erin Valentine said...

Outstanding! Eight or nine years ago I wore a sandwich board in my school, one on which I had printed "A lot" is TWO WORDS. Former students still remember it, and the evidence of that is one of them sent me a link to this blog! :-)

Big Nessy said...

You amuse me. I have just found your blog, and I am in love. Your point of view and illustrations are funny, charming, and on-point. Your view of the Alot made me laugh so hard I actually managed to distract my three-year-old from his favorite activity of destroying the house!

Anonymous said...

Sometimes after eating large quantities of Taco Bell I actually poop alot.

Ouch.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Alot. Now could you help me cope with mistakes involving your and you're? Or how about there, their, and they're.

mepsipax said...

My comment from the other day is missing....that sucks. Oh well, this happens alot. :D

Anonymous said...

Have you ever drawn a nother? Like, it would take up a whole nother blog entry. Cool.

Thomas said...

This was alot funnier then most of whats on the web.

I literally laughed my butt off.

ARBaboon said...

Perhaps "Alot" is a nick name for Alotta, a character from "Austin Powers" the movie.
imdb refererence

Karlien said...

Genius!!!

Joe said...

Love this!! Makes me rethink how I may want to approach my own blog. Mine goes from humor to serious to deep to humor (in circles). This is good stuff! I look forward to more. :)

Today's Random said...

You must make an ALOT shirt. I want it NOW. Thanks alot. :D

mshort said...

I'm the same way with grammar and all that jazz! Not capitalizing, putting punctuation, and such just translates to lazy writing for me--so why read? But I'm so glad you've introduced me to the Alot creature. I'm going to have a lot more fun reading blog posts now with him popping into my mind so often ;)

redweather said...

if you love your alot, then you would really love my family's yabbit. anytime we said "yeah, but (insert excuse here)" to my dad as kids, my brother and i were regaled with tales of the fuzzy yabitt. (yeah, but = yabbit)

i think it looks like a rabbit, but i'm pretty sure it has fangs. like bunnicula.

Jenn S, Oregon said...

Allie, I think I'm in love with you!

Your blog about "Alot" of Typos made me laugh harder than I have in YEARS!!! I almost did a spit take all over my desk here at work, but instead it just went up my nose.

I have always called myself the Typo Nazi, but now I believe I am cured! Thank you, O Great One, for your insight!

Peace

Sparker said...

The Internet celebrates your insanity. Alot.

Peter Bromberg said...

Hilarious. I almost loosed my pants, and forgot where my web sight is. Like I said, hilarious!

the lonesome hobo said...

'I love you Alot' or 'I love this Alot' t-shirt ideas are awesome! Also, the Alot plushie! Find a way, Allie. We need this stuff!
Also, most commented post ever! Just sick. Almost 400 comments! Is this the record? Someone call Guinness...

shiegra said...

....suddenly I want an alot, because they are ADORABLE.

Anonymous said...

What about if I said 'I love this post alot?'

...some kind of creepy forum alot?

maybe genius said...

I love this post so much. Alot, even.

Laurie said...

This is amazing. Thank you.

Cassandra said...

Wow. I just found your blog today and instead of starting my two essays that are due tomorrow two hours ago I've been reading posts and nearly falling out of my chair in laughter. This is the best damn thing I've ever seen.

Emily said...

another way to deal is to simply consider the fact that some people are dyslexic, and to automatically assume that the person typing is stupid or careless is pretty fucking rude. not to mention that wasting mental & emotional energy on something as inconsequential as spelling, grammar, and punctuation is one of the dumbest things i've ever heard of. go get angry about something that matters.

ruine duce said...

Since I have a 12 year old, I feel comfortable making this comment. Alot looks a lot like Appa from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Only, yanno, with less feet.

Oh, that's another one. Yanno. What does Yanno look like?

Cheeseboy said...

I am very offended for people with one finger.

Crystie said...

Wonderful post!

Now if only you could give me a coping mechanism for when I read that someone wishes they "would of" or "could of" done something differently.

Cameron MacDonald Black said...

I AM NOT ALONE!!

Then again, I've known that ever since I discovered Lynne Truss.

Jennifer Hanson said...

This is pretty awesome. My biggest pet peeve on the internet is when people write LiKe ThIs. It takes more work to write like that way...so what's the point of doing that? Besides annoying the crap out of me.

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