Hey Guys! Look at Me Being Famous and Getting Interviewed!!

Remember how yesterday I was all "I'm dying from drawing too much, how about you guys just interview me so I don't have to come up with a post on my own..."?  

I seriously underestimated your capacity to ask questions.  And I overestimated my ability to come up with good answers.  I really don't think I'm cut out to be famous, you guys.  This shit's hard.  

Anyway, I ended up picking the questions that led to the most entertaining/informative answers.  If I didn't answer your question, it doesn't mean that I hate you or that I hate your question.  It just means that I failed at creating a satisfactory answer.  

Alright, question time! 

Why do you live in Montana?  Are you being held against your will by a bear and a sad bee? 

I live in Montana because Boyfriend and I went to school here and then after we graduated, Boyfriend was like "I know what would be a good idea!  I should get a job in Montana and then we should keep living here!"  And I was like "Okay." So here I am. Some days I feel like I am being held here against my will by a bear, and some days I'm happy to live here:

Given a choice of eating only ham or only raisins for the rest of your life, which would you choose and why? 

I would probably choose raisins because they have fiber and fiber is healthy and also  I could probably soak the raisins in water and then ferment them and make wine and then I could get drunk and forget about the fact that I'll only be able to eat raisins for the rest of my life.  

When choosing a cat, what do you think is important?  

When choosing a cat, I think it is important to check and make absolutely sure that the cat is not a robot destroyer.  If you can confirm that the cat is a genuine animal, then I would make sure that it doesn't have rabies.  

Are you or are you not the first sign of the apocalypse?  What is the second sign?  What is the best way to repent? 

Maybe.  I think I might count as a false Messiah.  

In case anyone is wondering, I'm not Jesus.  

BAM.  Apocalypse averted.  You're welcome. 

What made you choose the lowly Nadle to raise to such animated heights? 

It just kind of happened.  It was the product of too little sleep and too much sugar.

Does Boyfriend ever see the same face you have in your header?  How often?  Is he turned on or skeered?

Boyfriend is much more likely to see my raptor face:


When I'm really stressed, I like to pretend I'm a dinosaur.  I don't think it scares Boyfriend anymore.  He's used to it. 

Where do you think the word "sandwich" came from?  

Supposedly sandwiches are named after the Earl of Sandwich, but we all know that's a lie.  I think it's just a cover-up for the fact that our ancestors ate sand.  Have you ever noticed how all kids try to eat sand?  It's their primal instincts.  Kids have a vestigial appetite for sand.  

What do you think of  Twilight? 

I hear it has vampires in it.  

What did you do this morning for 2 hours instead of writing a blog post? 

I woke up to my alarm and flailed around melodramatically before crawling out of bed.  And then I almost fell down the stairs.  Then I made some tea and stared at my wall for a little while.  Then I made myself an award for getting up so early.  Then I tried to write a blog post, but it didn't work, so I just drew pictures instead.   

If a spleen and a tomato juice were involved in a war between aliens, would the horse radish win a poodle?


How will you celebrate when (not if) you become "Champion of the Internet"? 

When I become Champion of the Internet, I will obviously also become very wealthy, so I will buy myself a unicorn and ride it around town while screaming randomly.  

Is it exhausting being so awesome?

Yes it is, Barbara.  The weight of my awesomeness is a heavy load to bear.  It's like wearing a backpack full of rocks and trying to run uphill as fast as I can.  In the snow.  And inspirational music is playing in the background, but I can't hear it because my ears are too full of my own splendor.  

In all seriousness, though, this is hard work (blogging, I mean... not being awesome.  That just kind of comes naturally).  Even though I get to sit around in my pajamas all day, I'm working more than full time.  It's fun work, but there's a lot of it!  Boyfriend says that I probably work 80 hours a week between writing, editing, drawing, emailing and forum-ing.  He was kind of pouty about it.  (Okay, so I just realized how much 80 hours is.  It's probably more like 50 or 60.  I blame Boyfriend for the melodramatic exaggeration.)

If a celebrity would play you in a movie, who would it be?

Charlize Theron or Megan Fox.  Then everyone would think I was super hot.

What illustrators did you admire growing up?

I was obsessed with Calvin and Hobbes when I was young.  Also Gary Larson.  They are both able to convey complex ideas with fairly simple illustrations. 

If bears and unicorns played each other in Curling, who would win?

Bears.  The unicorns would be disqualified for using magic.  I'm pretty sure there's a rule in curling that says you can't use magic.  

In a fight between a grilled cheese sandwich and a taco, who would win?

Probably the taco.  Have you ever been stabbed in the mouth by a hard taco shell?  Tacos will shank you.  

Do you like to read?  If so, what?

I love reading!  Right now, I'm reading several David Sedaris books.  My favorite book is probably The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.   I also love books about drug addicts, for some reason.  

Is there a separation between regular Allie and cartoon Allie?  Do they ever cross over?  

Cartoon Allie is based heavily on myself as a child:

That being said, there is significant overlap with my adult self.  But I think maybe cartoon-me can open its mouth wider than I can.  

If you could live anywhere you choose, where would it be?  


Can you draw elephants?  I really like elephants.

I can kind of draw elephants... 

Will Spaghatta Nadle ever find lave?

Oh, definitely.  


Untypically Jia said...

I love when you acknowledge me. It's like finding a basket of puppies on my doorstep. Not that that's ever happened, but I imagine the excitement level would be very similar.

Stormy Cruz said...

I must say, I've learned several important things. While I always suspected that being awesome came naturally to you, I have to say I'm somewhat relieved to find that you work on blogging as much as you do. Why, you ask? Because you seem to be posting things endlessly and I'm often left in awe at your productivity level. I'll explain a little more. It's kind of like this:
There are some people who don't believe that Shakespeare ever existed--that "Shakespeare" was just a pen name for several other authors because they don't believe anyone could've been that prolific.
So this probably marks the first time anyone's compared you to Shakespeare. Enjoy.
For the record, I *do* believe you exist. I thought I should clarify that.

Anonymous said...

I'm in love with Spaghatta Nadle. In my head, it sounds like a creature my sister and I made up when we were kids. Someday I will vlog that voice. Right now, it's too much for the internet to handle.

Zaedah said...

I must thank you for clarifying how much torture is involved in the creation of your art. However, now that Nadle is available on a mug, I shall sing you a lullaby so that you, oh person famous enough for a RS cover, may receive the gift of sleep.

Only, I'll be lip-syncing so I don't accidentally kill you audibly.

Allie said...

Jia - I'd be horrified if I found a basket of puppies on my doorstep! I'd be like "Who put these here?? Am I supposed to raise them??"


Stormy - So basically you're saying I'm better than Shakespeare because obviously I exist and the jury is still out on him. Sweet. And I'm totally making myself an award for this.

Elizabeth - Oh, I think the internet is ready... Let me know if you ever post it, okay?

Zaedah - If you need a tip for which song to select, my mom tells me that I would never accept anything but Old McDonald Had a Farm when I was young. My parents had to make up all sorts of animals and animal noises because I'd freak out if they started repeating animals. Just be prepared, okay?

Untypically Jia said...

LOL Fine, it would be the same excitement if like a Unicorn appeared out of thin air and spoke or something.

By the way, you need to make the Spaghatah Nadle and the Pickle drawing available on t-shirts cause I've already told my husband that that's what I want for my birthday!

Allie said...

Jia - I can totally understand that one! I'd be so excited if Phineus showed up here!

I'm working on making shirt versions of the spaghatta nadle cartoons as we speak (write?)! I have to enlarge all of the original drawings and then smooth out the lines so they don't look pixelated, so it might be a couple days, but I'll get them all up there!

A Real Housewife said...

i've got to start reading your blog more religiously...you crack me up! taco shells will seriously shank you. good call.

ShineForLife said...

I love David Sedaris['s books]! And I read most of The Hitchhiker's Guide, but then I had to stop because I had too much homework :(

I'm so happy that you picked my question! :D

P.S. Your elephants are awesome.

Tony said...

What an awesome post! Thanks for taking the time to answer all the questions, AND you included photos AND illustrations. You rock the internet, Allie, and you WILL get famous. Tomorrow. :)

Allie said...

A Real Housewife - Oh, they'll shank the shit out of your mouth for sure!

ShineForLife - Well, I'm glad that you're glad! And thanks about the elephants :)

Tony - Tomorrow??? How? I'm so excited!

Wait... are you from the FUTURE????

Duncan (aka Boyfriend) said...

A Few notes from boyfriend:

Re: "The faces I see"
-Dinosaur impersonations are the norm around here. I'm more scared if I DON'T see one.

Re: "Bears, unicorns, and curling"
-No one wins in that situation. An all-out bloodbath is the only outcome.

Re: "Sandwiches"
- Allie's right. "Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny"...bitches.

Re: "How many hours Allie works"
-I stand by estimation of 80 hours a week, although I'll concede down to 70. Allie can't even get out of bed before getting online and looking at her blog.

Re: Grilled Cheese, Tacos, and fighting"
-I concur with Allie. Tacos, FTW.

Allie said...

Duncan - OH MY GOD!!! LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!!! Just kidding. It's only me.

Logical Libby said...

You live in Montana? Do they know you live there?

Allie said...

Logical Libby - I try to be sneaky about it, but I think it's beginning to suspect something.

Or do you mean the people in Montana? I don't think they know I live here. A couple of them do. Like, I know one of the checkers at Safeway and I know a few of Boyfriend's coworkers. I'm kind of a recluse.

Barbara said...

I loved your answer to my question. Made me LOL for real. I think you should make this interviewing a regular thing.

sus said...

One more question: What is the most awesome invention of all time?

Rebecca said...

Have you gotten to "Me Talk Pretty Some Day"? There are some insults in there that I particularly enjoy. In fact, my new goal for the week is to work "every day with you is like having an abortion" into a conversation.

Anonymous said...

I'm warming up to it. Tonight I posted this: http://bit.ly/aKs0Q3

So far, the responses have been either lots of laughter or "WTF??" on Twitter.

Lisa said...

Too funny, I love the raptor face! Hahaha. And also, sandwiches. You're hilarious!

Joe Cap said...

Only one problem with your Raptor Face photo...you have your index and 'finger' fingers curled as if to emulate a T-Rex, which you, being the expert on Mesozoic fauna that you are, must realize is not anatomically correct if you are trying to impersonate a raptor.
By the way LOVE the Montana pictures, makes me want to live there.

JustLinda said...

I could SOOOOO do your job!

Well, not all the drawing and stuff. But the wearing pajamas part - I could SO do that! I might be at the expert level of the wearing pajamas skill set.

I'm putting that on my resume right now. Then I'm going to see if Monster.com has open jobs for Olympic Ice Skating Costume Designers who wear pajamas all day. I would be uber qualified for that sort of job.

I'm gonna be RICH!!!!

Sarah said...

Dude. You do spend a lot of time on this. I can't believe you not only listed everyone but linked! I'll check out all of those links because you spent so much time doing it.

I'm reading "When You Are Engulfed in Flames" right now. Just finished reading the essay about his old neighbor. So funny, so sad.

Anonymous said...

I've never been to Montana but I imagine it is similar to Narnia. And NYC, too, without the trees but with many Queens.

Ed said...

David Sedaris? Seriously?

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Harini said...

I m seriously in love with Spaghatta Nadle... they should be made into a regular comic strip.

Untypically Jia said...

By the way, I sent you a "Bruce Willis" themed email like a week or so ago, did you get it? Just curious, I know you'll all busy with forums, online stores, Nadles and bears.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

Again with the adorable lil Allie hand positions!

I want to lure you into my van with some ice cream.

I mean, I want to give you some ice cream. You can get in my van if you want.

Scribe said...

You seriously rock, Allie. Tacos would win for sure, elephant drawings are awesome (I painted an elephant in a free-art session and it didn't look near as awesome as yours). Unicorns may not use the magic in a curling match, but they might try to shank the bears if they get too out of hand.


Moooooog35 said...

I had no idea tacos could do so much damage.

I guess that explains my explosive diarrhea.

tactonrae said...

You need to get some of these shirts on teefury.com...

Buzz said...

Brilliant as always. I think you should sell select works as signed prints. I'd buy a few - could be worth big money one day! I definitely see the Bill Watterson and Gary Larson influences but you have your own spin on things for sure! As for bears and unicorns in curling, I personally believe they'd abandon the game early on and naturally gravitate toward Ice Dancing.

AssertiveWit said...

I'm leaving a comment so you won't eat my child.

I make that raptor face at my daughter. She just kicks me, if I'm close enough. LOL

Joe said...

those elephant drawings are pretty awesome...

Anonymous said...

I dont want to alarm you- but Narnia actually exists.
Somewhere in Italy- maybe not now but it did in Roman times.