Pre-Post Transition Post

This isn't a real post. I'm going to post the real post tomorrow. But it feels like there should be some sort of intermediate thing to prepare everyone for the abrupt change of speed ahead.

Here's a picture of an airplane.

I realize that airplanes don't look like that, but this has been a hard year for me and learning how to draw planes accurately wasn't exactly a priority. I maybe could have chosen to draw something else, but I started drawing the plane, and there was already too much momentum.

Anyway, I feel like this is becoming way more about planes than I had anticipated. Let's move on.

If, at any point over the last eighteen months, you've wondered what was happening to me and why it might be happening, my post tomorrow should explain everything.

I've been working on it for the better part of a year (partly because I wanted to get it exactly right, and partly because I was still experiencing it while attempting to explain it, which made things weird), and I'm relieved and excited and scared to finally be able to post it.

At this point, you're all probably wondering what is it? What's in the post?? Is it airplanes? And no, it unfortunately has very little to do with airplanes.* It's a sort of sequel to my post about depression. It is also about depression. In parts, it might get a little flinch-y and uncomfortable, and if I succeed in making you laugh during those parts, you're going to feel real weird about yourselves. But it's okay. Just let it happen. I WANT it to happen. Because it makes me feel powerful, and also because there are flinch-y, uncomfortable things everywhere. Seeing them is inevitable. If we can laugh about some of them, maybe they'll be less scary to look at.

Okay, so that's what's going to happen tomorrow. Hopefully this transition post makes the experience less jarring for everyone.

*As it turns out, there is a plane. I had forgotten about it (it's small and not the main focus of the post) and the coincidence was entirely unintentional. I'd never tell you there aren't going to be planes while being fully aware that there's a plane.


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H. Alt said...

Allie, so glad to have you back. I can't tell you how much I could relate to this post after a too-long winter in the earth-y sense and also in the emotional sense. We missed you so much. You are loved by so many people far and wide whether you know it or not, and you have a gift for writing and for humor. Please be fine and well, for a hundred years to come.

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Silly Rabitt said...

Thank you for coming back.

I have a list of things I try to fall back on when I fall into depression and into suicidality. The top two are:
1. "The noonday Demon", a really long book about depression that helps me to put things into words for myself and for others.

2. your blog because it will make me remember that I have laughed before and I might laugh again someday.

Recently I have felt it again and so I came back here and discovered that you came back, and I wanted to cry, so thank you again for coming back.

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Armando said...

Just read the new post. You succeeded in making me laugh, and you've told a story that I also lived, now I'm happy to find out I wasn't an alien after all. Thank you. Please don't leave, I want to feel like this again someday reading new blog updates.

Anonymous said...

I couldn't hold my tears back when I saw this. You have no idea how much we have missed you. The world of blogging is the same again - bright and perfect.

*Hugs and Kisses*

Welcome back Allie. :-)

Effenay said...

Welcome Back, Allie. Welcome back.

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Anonymous said...

I will continue praying for you and your family.

Ted Neville in Alaska said...

Which takes longer, writing the post or reading the effing comments? I got through about 20 of them. I should invent a comment counter to tally the number of comments that say the same effing thing. This is no way to treat a creative genius in a delicate condition. My condolences.

Steph D said...

SO GLAD you are back!!!

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Warchamp7 said...

I'm really happy to see you're back. A lot of your posts hit close to home, including your latest one and I was worried when you disappeared.

I'm bad at vocalising my thoughts in any manner, so it's comforting to know someone else is going through it too, and despite all that make me smile.

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