The Scariest Story

There was a short period of my early life that was punctuated by truly unfortunate nightmares. I'd go to sleep feeling safe and warm. 


Then I'd awaken several hours later and somehow be completely convinced that my closet was inhabited by fire monsters. 


I'd flee to my parents' room because, like most six-year-olds,  I believed that my parents possessed some magical ability to ward off homicidal, fire-breathing monsters that were easily eight times their size.  


I don't know exactly how I thought they would be able to protect me from the monster, but as far as I was concerned, my parents were forcefields of safety and that fire monster could go fuck itself. 

As I lay there between my parents, I felt a gigantic flood of relief.    


Inexplicably, the feeling of complete immunity to danger made me extremely energetic.  


I didn't need sleep; all I needed was safety.  


It was intoxicating. 


And in the morning, despite having slept very little, I'd wake up feeling recharged and ready to rampage.  


Unfortunately, my parents were not high out of their minds on feelings of invulnerability, and they did need sleep.   

After enduring several consecutive nights of spastic flailing followed by days of gleeful chaos, my parents decided that they needed to take action. 

My mother, being the shrewd diplomat that she was, decided to bribe me into staying in my own bed at night. She knew that I had been lusting after a certain stuffed toy, and told me that if I stayed in my own room every night for an entire week, she'd buy the toy for me. 

But the promise of such an enticing reward did not make the nightmares go away. Nighttime turned into a battle of will power.  I would awaken, become completely terrified and be overwhelmed with the desire to bolt to the safety of my parents' room. But I willed myself to stay in my bed.  Instead of sleeping, I spent the entire night vigilantly watching the closet.  


If a monster came out and tried to attack me, I was prepared to flee reflexively.  But until I saw the whites of the monster's eyes, I would hold my post.

I really, really wanted that toy. 

My sleepless nights turned me into a listless little zombie during the day.  Activities that I once enjoyed with childish abandon became a struggle. 


I was completely dead inside.  

But the most insulting part of the whole ordeal was lying awake in my bed, shaking with terror and suddenly becoming aware of my younger sister slumbering peacefully on the other side of the room, wrapped up in her blanket like a fearless little burrito.


She was three years old. There was no possible way that she should be so brave in the face of such extreme danger. I looked at her over there, happily dreaming her little dreams, and I felt envy. I should be the brave one. I should be the one defying death so nonchalantly. Who the hell did she think she was?

Not only did she sleep soundly but she awakened cheerfully, ready to take on whatever daily challenges a three-year-old is likely to face. The numbness and deadness I felt inside contrasted sharply with her blatant contentedness. It started to feel like she was being happy at me - like her enthusiasm was intentional and malicious.


Then I had an idea.


I could bring her down to my level.  I could fill her little mind with images so gruesome that she'd be irreversibly scarred for life and would no longer be able to taunt me with her complete disregard of fear.

And most importantly, if I could make her scared enough to seek refuge in my parents' bed, I could use her as a sort of Trojan horse and tag along under the guise of concern.

She was my ticket to safety and I had to scare the ever-living fuck out of her.


I spent the entire day concocting the most horrifying story I could think of - an amalgamation of every single scary thing I'd ever heard. It was a masterpiece.  It was the scariest story in the world. There was no possible way that my sister would walk away unscathed.

When it was finally bedtime, I waited for my parents to turn off the lights and leave the room, then I turned to my sister and said "Do you want to hear a story?"

She loved stories.  She didn't see it coming.


I began: "On a dark and stormy night....


By the time I was done weaving my tale of blood and horror and more blood, my sister had become silent and wide-eyed.  Her innocent little brain had never encountered such an impressive amount of gore, and I could tell that she was still struggling to process it all. 

Satisfied with my handiwork, I whispered "goodnight" and nestled into my blankets to wait for the inevitable moment when her tender young mind crumpled beneath the sheer volume of terror I'd just injected into it.  


Amazingly, my sister was able to fall asleep.  She couldn't possibly have been unaffected. How could she sleep?  She must be experiencing a delayed reaction, I thought. The inside of her head just had to be a festering stew of terrors - fermenting, bubbling beneath the surface until they gathered enough force to wake her and propel her to the safety of my parents' bedroom.  It had to happen. There was no way that it wouldn't.  

As I lay there in the dark, willing my sister to awaken and experience the full force of the nightmares I'd planted in her mind, I began to think about the story I'd told her.  The bear-snake with bat-arms. The skeletons. The blood. The murderers.  

Then I looked at my closet. 


Oh no.  They were in there.  

The jolt of fear I felt in my spine nearly paralyzed me, but I still managed to flee to my parents' room with tremendous agility.  I desperately clawed at their door until they let me in.  


I told them I didn't care about the toy. I told them I never wanted toys ever again.  I cried violently and screamed about how scared I was.  

Even the impenetrable safety-fortress of my parents' sleeping bodies was not enough to ward off the incredible amount of fear I'd brought upon myself.  I didn't sleep. And it wasn't because I was high on safety.  


In the morning, I felt like I'd aged ninety years in a single night.  This is it, I thought. This is what the end of life feels like. My tiny adrenal glands had nearly exploded themselves in my panic and I was exhausted.  I ate my cereal robotically, expending only as much energy as necessary. 

I almost didn't notice when my sister climbed up next to me.  


She looked much less traumatized than I would have expected, considering that she spent all night stewing in the after-effects of my story.  In fact, she seemed extremely excited about absolutely nothing. 


Maybe I had broken her. Maybe this was how she was choosing to cope with the indelible horrors I'd etched in her psyche. 


But no. 

She was not only unfazed by the story - it had awakened a hunger in her.  She experienced the scariest story in the world and she loved it.  And she would not be content until she had mined my brain for every terrifying snippet it was capable of producing.  I had to make up more stories to tell her. Scarier stories.  Stories with more blood.  Everything became a potential subject for a story. Tell me one about lawn mowers, she'd say. And I'd have to come up with a story about a sentient, homicidal lawn mower. 

I had created a monster. 

1,113 comments:

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Violent Dreams said...

hahaha I loved it :D

mruthke said...

My friends and I were walking to the bar on Sunday to get afternoon drunk (or in my case unhungover). Half-way there they began to talk about some girl who draws pictures with Paint while talking about the internet or emails or dogs or something. The next day I receive a link at work. I click on it and find myself laughing, an embarrassing amount, while my co-worker looks on with jealousy at the joy I am not sharing. Anyway, thanks so much. I love making things with Paint and I love your blog. I look forward to wasting hours and hours of company time reading it.

Anonymous said...

@TehNeyrZomb

You think the Weeping Angels are freaky?
1: Watch Blink at midnight all alone, and realise you have a small ceramic angel in your room.
2: Watch Silence in the library in the dark.
3: Realise that in a later episode of Doctor Who, the angels come through the TV and can come out of your eyes because you saw their eyes. Seriously. :D Enjoy~

lol199712 said...

dude that sounds like what i did to my little cousins!!! the little deamons just cant be scared while im stucck being a absolute chicken!!!!

Alex said...

New favorite story. :)

Kristina C. said...

Reap what you sew, little mister!
I am uplifted!
Congrats on the bloggie!

Sleepless in Seatle said...

I was pretty sure Darth Maul and Carmen Sandiego lived under my bed, and they would grab me and pull me under my bed if I didn't stay in it. Imagine to my horror when I woke up with my head stuck under my bed. Twice.

Kristina C. said...

. . . oops, I mean "little missy!"
I didn't know - I'm new to your blog!
So glad I found it!

tanyeti said...

Dude, that fire monster must have taken you daaaays to draw.

Anonymous said...

You are a sick, sick puppy. It's what I like about you.

Alexandra said...

i just wanna let you know how much you cheer me up and make me laugh =) me and zillions of others obviously! seriously, you are doing a SERVICE FOR HUMANKIND. thank you.

Sarah said...

Allie, you are freaking amazing. Thanks for making my day, and don't let the mental midgets get to you.

Nightpelt said...

This is Awesome! I like the scary story. And the drawing of the Bear with the snake body! XD

Kits said...

Oh man, brilliant stuff this was! Love the last line :)

vogod said...

Amazing and hilarious. This blog was amazing already when I found it and you get better with every post. Never stop.

Garrett said...

I want to know more about your sister and the after effects of prolonged exposure to your stories.

Also, I never slept in my parents bed. I was never afraid of my closet; for me it was the bloody shower. And when I was in the shower, it was the toilet. basically the bathroom scarred me for life. I still have a hard time going to bed when the bathroom door is open.

Anonymous said...

1017th!!!!

thoughtsappear said...

I'm impressed by your bravery at getting out of bed. I always had to scream for my mom. Getting up of bed left me out in the open for monste/skeleton/spider attack.

fashionisstupid said...

Why does this site get so many hits?

anime4everpink said...

Haha! I first thought your picture was a bunch of squiggly lines but I just realized it's a horse! xDD ROFLMAO WITH A STICK!

tof7ee said...

HEHEHE!!!! MY DAD THINKS I AM CRAZY COZ I'M LAUGHING SO LOUD... BUT THEN A AGAIN... CRAZY IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT!

myimaginaryblog said...

But, but, what happened to you next? Did you get over the nightmares? Your story made me so sad for little scared you.

I don't suppose it occurred to your parents to take the closet door off its hinges and install a nightlight in there or anything like that. Too bad.

Heather said...

I am glad I saved reading this for a day I truly needed a laugh.

Can I be you when I grow up?

Anonymous said...

YOU LOOK LIKE CATERPILLARS ABOUT TO PUPATE.

PUUUPAAATEEEE

or some sort of worm or something.

Sammie said...

My dad kept a yellow plastic bat near his bed so that when I came running in scared of monsters in the middle of the night he could take care of it. He would be like "don't worry, I'll get 'em!" and then I'd hear him in my room beating the shit out of the floor or my bed or whatever. Then he would come back and tell me he got rid of all the monster and everything was fine. It worked like a charm. Genius.

Anonymous said...

Wait, since when do you have a sister??? I would think she would have been mentioned before now...

Annamalsf said...

I cry laughing every time I read your posts. Thanks for making my day!

- 2sistersblog.com

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say that through the past few weeks I have wasted much of my class time going back through your posts! I am back to November 18, 2009 and still love reading them! I really like your new ones through that have more pictures and stories! They are so funny! I keep going into hysterics in class and everyone thinks im crazy! But it is totally worth it! I used to think that your drawings of you as a kid that you were wearing a yellow party hat but I realized it was your hair! I still enjoy laughing and picturing it as the hat! Great work here! Keep up the great work!!

Matthewjohnson said...

Allie, would you please make a new story for my birthday on April 20th?

REASONS YOU SHOULD:
I share a birthday with Hitler
4/20 is national smoke pot day
I love your posts
If you don't i will track you down and repeatedly play Lou Begga's Mambo Number Five every morning at 5 AM


the choice is yours >:)


P.S. my name is Matthew and i am 13 years old and have been obsessed with you website

Callifax said...

I was never afraid of wolves or demons as a child. Just serial killers in the closet.

@_@

Michelle said...

Oh my Jesus, that was absolutely bloody brilliant. I am hooked!

Anonymous said...

my best friend recommend this site.....and i have to say i love it!!!! this is the funniest thing i've read in a long time and quite honestly it sounds like something i would have done!!! XD

Brady said...

Hilarious. Also it says you're "super creepy and totally capable" of finding me. I challenge you to find me in the thousands of comments. Mwuaha!

Miri said...

Aliie you are a comedic goddess! Thanks you so much for making my day with this, i laughed so hard i cried! Cheers to you!

honkadoodle said...

First of all,I want to say to all the toolbags who jump on this blog just to get "First!" in the Comments Section PLEASE go away! I am tired of rifling through your one word comments just to get to the stuff that means anything! It seems Allie is too nice (or entertained)(or busy) to squish those infected pimples off her page..................

Now that I got that off my chest- Allie, you did it again! I am emailing my older sister a link to this post. You have no idea how much I relate! I was the oblivious baby sister in this story, while she was the one trying to terrorize my childhood. Your story makes me want to write a tale of my own!

Anonymous said...

I sincerely hope your dreams are/were not as bizarre as mine. Choosing ducks for marriage partners, aliens investigated by major soda companies, setting someone on fire....
Anyway. My sister is exactly like this. I think the only difference is that she was probably 4 or so when we went through this. Maybe it was school that brought it on.... I would have been starting then. Hmmm. CURSE YOU EDUCATION SYSTEM!!

Ahem.

R. Duckie said...

It must take a lot of time to write one post, but I wish you'd post more often!

becca from nz said...

You make me wish there were ways to say I love you to a complete stranger in a non-stalkerish & entirely platonic way. But there aren't. Sorry...

:Darren said...

I was totally like that when I was younger too. I still kind of am; like I get really paranoid in the dark and imagine every noise I hear is out to kill me. Sleeping with the TV on a sleep timer is a great way to stop the paranoia, though :D

Collier said...

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Emily said...

Allie, it just occurred to me.... Do you carry mace or pepper spray? Considering all of the creepers and rapists and serial killers and violent animals that lurk everywhere, maybe you should get some. Or take up a style of martial arts that teaches weapons. Nunchucks will make you feel so invincible you would go looking for trouble, but you're not so mean as to hunt people down, because that's what serial killers and creepers and rapists do.

TesoriTrovati said...

Just found you from my friend Juls. She said you rock. And you do. I am a new fan and a follower.
Enjoy the day!
Erin

AllieTS said...

awesome story!
I can so relate to this... :D

Anonymous said...

Your Dad looks like Jesus with chest hair!

Anonymous said...

OMG!!! totally made me remember when my sister and I shared a room and we had a poster that somehow looked super creepy at night and we freaked out for days! LMAO!

Rae said...

i'm telling this story to my kids

Emma said...

Oh my GOD

Meagan said...

Firstly, this post reminded me of my youth. I was terrified of ghosts and saw things in the mess of my room like monsters and faces. I'd seek solace in my parent's bedroom until they started locking their door at night. Then I remember curling up at the foot of my brother's bed and sleeping there.

Secondly, my hubby bought me a "Clean all the things!" tank top with the "Clean ALL the things?" on the back for Valentine's Day. I was ecstatic. I now shout it and raise my fist triumphantly when I go to clean, and giggle hysterically when I'm wearing the shirt and see myself in the mirror.

He also bought me the "Alternative Pain Scale" tank top. I'm saving that one to wear to the doctor. Hehehe.

deathtopenguins said...

Hey Allie,

I just tried to follow you on blogger but apparently because you have over 50000 followers you're not allowed any more.

Essentially you have broken the internet with your awesomeness!

Thanks for the hilarious post(s)

(also don't worry, as the RSS feeds etc still work fine)

Shannon said...

Heh.

When I was almost five, my parents saw a commerical for a fun family-friendly movie. Poltergeist.

We saw it, and my parents felt bad because they swear to God that they hadn't realized that it was a horror movie. Oh, and I made them sorry...

For the next YEAR I had nightmares several times a week about the skeletons, and the clown. That damn clown. When I was a baby my parents managed a Jack-In-The-Box and one of their friends made me a Jack doll, a 3' tall clown. From the night of the movie on (and I do mean on, until it was mercifully destroyed 5 years ago) I was terrified of Jack. I used to tie him up with my shoelaces and put him in my closet, but I was sooo afraid that this would make him angry and get me... lots of the nightmares were about that. I too ran for the safety of my parents' room on a regular basis (I told you I made them pay)

Shortly after I turned six, my little brother was born, and his crib was in my room. The nightmares stopped. My parents thought it was because I was too excited about being a big sister to worry about Jack or skeletons any more. No. I was convinced that if they were real, they'd eat my brother first because he was small and defenseless.


http://threateningloveletters.blogspot.com/

Shelbey said...

Whenever I'm having a crappy day, I know I can visit Hyperbole and a Half and instantly feel better. Allie, you have a wonderfully wicked sense of humor! Thank you!

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Helena Sparrow said...

OMG! The authors at Vampsrus absolutely love your blog. You keep us constantly rolling with laughter. For these reasons, we chose to honor your blog with an award. Please stop by to claim it :)
http://vampsrus.blogspot.com/2011/03/blog-awards.html

Tamara B said...

This art keeps getting better and better. You keep your charm and humor and keep amping up the beauty. Color me impressed!

Wendy said...

Oh my gosh.... I've done this so many times.... I'm so good at scaring myself!!!!

PS Allie, I LOVE YOUR BLOG!!! I wish you'd post more :(

KikiLaBouche said...

I have finally read all of your posts... NOW I DEMAND NEW ONES!!!

I may be slightly obsessed with a blogger who is most likely dead as she hasn't posted in a week or so.

Logan and Kellie said...

You inspired me and my best friend to start our blog! We draw pictures too!!!

http://lifeasweknew.blogspot.com/

Jimi said...

This is deep. I have a brother... and while I have no regrets, no I don't talk to him any more. And I don't even know if you'll read this, but I think I know what you're going through

dralaffing said...

Ok so you are the funniest most delightfully randomest person I have ever come across in life. I just stumbled on to your blog about a week ago and have dedicated all my free time to reading all of your posts. I'm definitely a fan, and I am also writing this while I am drunk (or tizzled as I like to say lol) so please forgive any typos or grammatical errors haha. Your writing makes my life and when I get some money I am definitely sending you some. That's a promise. Please keep up the awesome work. You're going to become famous and I'm going to help. :-D

Lisa M. said...

When I was 8 I saw the movie It, based off the Stephen King novel. I was terrified of clowns and the drains in our bathroom for a long time after that. I was convinced that every time I took a bath I was going to die.

Kaori said...

Cannot stop laughing! This post is wonderful! I'm so in love with your drawings!

Also, I don't like to brag but I have a pretty powerful imagination myself...and there are times when I can't sleep with any body parts besides my head sticking out from under my blanket! Hope I get over this by the time I turn 29. haha.

Sarade said...

You are amazingly talented and captured my attention right away!! I am so glad that my coworker introduced me to your blog!!

Sarade - www.navare.etsy.com

PencilGirl said...

Hey... I've passed on the stylish blogger award to you, in recognition of your mindblowingly awesome posts. Please do accept it.. :) :)

Kooricha said...

I'm just curious. Didn't she create more than just ONE monster?

Kooricha said...

I'm just curious. Didn't she create more than just ONE monster?

The Person who likes Waffles said...

I demand mooore stories! >:3

Anonymous said...

I cried from laughing so hard. Every single time I read your blog and start laughing hysterically my mom always threatens to put me in a mental ward. Some people just don't get good comedy.

Stephanie said...

Hehe, I think this is what's known as backfiring... :P

Despite being the oldest of three and suffering from nightmares for several years, I never tried this on my sisters. I did, however, routinely go downstairs and sleep with my parents if I had a particularly disturbing dream.

Anonymous said...

You are just the funniest woman in the world- with the funniest drawings:) Thanks

Charley said...

Only just discovered your blog. Thank you beyond the realms of all that is possible for basically being me... but American... and a girl.

I'm 24 years old and I still check my closet for serial killers/monster etc. I have also established a cunning way of monster/serial kiler proofing my room which I will share.

-have two distinct laundry piles. one goes behind the door so I know no one can hide behind it the other goes on the side of the bed I can't see from my doorway.

-Keep two boxes of stuff and large table with precariously balanced objects next to the laundry pile by the bed

-if the precariously balanced objects have fallen over do not move further in than the doorway without the large saucepan kept by the door for this purpose.

-Have 4 large folding chairs. Keep in closet to remove standing space and leave one door very slightly open, if door has moved see use of saucepan above.

-Keep large boxes under the bed so there is no space for monsters

-having established that no-one is hiding in room close door very fast leaning against the door until the door is locked.

-Keep large rolling pin and kitchen knife in drawer of bedside cabinet.

-If leaving room for any reason take rolling pin/knife/both.

-when re-entering room repeat all steps.

I'm perfectly normal... honest...

Anonymous said...

i am totally and deeply in love with you holy cow you are teh awesum

Anonymous said...

OMG your Dad looks JUST LIKE MY DAD!!

Kat said...

This is so funny. LOL I had a younger sister too but she was always the scared one and I had to stay up and keep watch for her.

Beth/Lilás said...

Congratullations from Brasil!
hugh carioca

Anonymous said...

Oh man, that was a good one, how do you keep them so fresh though? I mean, not only fresh, but as amazingly long and detailed?? Allie, you're a beast at this, I hope you get famous for this, it's be un-just if you don't!

Mary E said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mary E said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dee said...

Dear Allie,
You make my life better.
Love,
Dee

D. said...

I LOVED THIS, it's part of what keeps me out of deep depression. Oh god, I loved this post, it was amazing.
P.S.
Please post something else soon!

Jerppuli said...

Absolute greatness. You too seem to have a real monster in your hands...

KristaAmaro said...

Soo glad you posted something new...my little sister was scared of "Chucky" from Child's Play and one time I thought I'd be mean and make her watch it....well instead of her being scared and not able to sleep she fell asleep during the movie and I was unable to sleep for like a week!

Simply Ridiculous said...

Amazing!!

James said...

Not only did that story make me shit my pants, but then I read this:

I'm super creepy and totally capable of finding you

I am never going to sleep again.

mrs mediocrity said...

you totally crack me up, and you just described my childhood.

Robyn said...

I can't tell you how many times I have gone to your blog to make me laugh on a crappy day. It always works. Thank you for being a writer :)

DK said...

SO this is my first comment, but I've been digging on this blog for a few months. I know that this comment is but one in 1086 (at this point) and that it's similar to at least 900 previous ones, but your posts are so interstellar, Allie, and I LOV LOV LOV (to quote Oprah) them. Probably more than I love lime green or camping or penii.

Also: please write more so I can fritter more of my time away instead of being responsible. Thank you.

The end!

Anonymous said...

omg this website is hilarious. Theres also this other blog that is funny its www.questioningquotes.blogspot.com

Adrianna said...

OMG SOOOO FUNNY!! I love you so much.

"I had created a monster."

shhs said...

My half sister tried the same thing w/me except she thought a Freddie Kruger marathon could take me out! I feel asleep midway through, and slept like a babe. Good times.

Natalie said...

Baahaa! This is hilarious! Totally takes me back to my childhood. I was strangely immune to scary stuff. That is until I got older...

Katherine said...

Allie, you are wonderful! Thank you for blogging!

Anonymous said...

What do you use to draw your comics? they're AMAZING!!! :D oh and so are you :)

Anonymous said...

What do you use to draw your comics? they're AMAZING!!! :D oh and so are you :)

Joseph Hurtgen said...

Oh yeah, I'm gonna need another story with more blood.

tecolote said...

okay, I have to say it--even if I'm certain that at least ONE of the 1094 comments says it.

TELL ME (well...us) ANOTHER STORY!

pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze?

Babsiegirl said...

I've spent the last few days reading all of your blogs. I'm addicted. I may have laughed so hard I peed a few times, and I actually hyperventelated on the fishing story. You win!

Chelsea said...

I just got done reading every post you've made.

And I must say...

You are brilliant. <3

earlybird said...

this was awesome! thanks very much for the read. great pics too.

Geoffrey said...

I am a musician. If I ever start a side-project, may I call it "Fearless Little Burrito"?

Pancho said...

My sister and I used to do the same thing so I had no one to try to make suffer along with me. I had a down comforter I thought might shield me from monster or dinosaur or other child-murdering closet dwellers and I would hide underneath it until I was literally dripping in sweat and on the verge of suffocation. The jury is still out on whether this did any permanent damage. You know, oxygen deprivation and whatnot. Great post!

lisa said...

tephen oh Stephen
This ,your therapist will get a chuckle out of all I copied ,ha ha

You Keep on pushing that mind of yours
one day sweetie ,you will be rich and famous ,you will be remembered !!

just think sweetie ,you be able to afford ,your new love ,without mommy ,supporting you both ,
Or just maybe ,your mommy could high your new love as her new maid ,and she will fit right in with all that are care takers of her yard

you little devil you ,this fame in creation is so rewarding and touching ,How you spend wasting Time to create such Rewarding Fame for me ,Wow!! you are amazing man ,now writing a novel ,how do you find the time

have a nice life aaron,anwii,awniii40,Rob,calkid,oh silly me ,I forget ,you have many user names and male or female ,just so convincing ,you make all look like pretty little Idiots

isn't life perfect ,I think so

today is great ,you look so stupid aaron ,as you just don't hold the facts about nothing smiling
Get a Divorce sheeshh

http://www.noveldoctor.com heck come on get real instead of being fake and pretending to be many people

aaron webb ,many user names

Anonymous said...

MAKE MOAR STORIES!!!

Hannah said...

My friend and I love your blog. I have honestly never found anything this funny, ever. This is hilarious!

Also, can I still get on your blog by making a video of myself screaming "Hyperbole and a half" down the streets? (I saw your first post. I'm not creepy. Really.)

Nia said...

GREAT story! By the way, the whole Charlie Sheen "winning" thing totally makes me think of you and that story you wrote about winning. I think he stole your idea.

erisiandiva78 said...

I just wanted to say thank you. I'm sure you get a ton of these all the time, but I haven't laughed so much in a LONG time! I adore your style of artwork and the stories are made of so much epic win they should be illegal. I particularly fond of your Chicken impression. I snorted coffee while reading that post. You have made my day, and for that, I thank you.

Anonymous said...

I loved it. Your drawings are always adorable, too.

DutcheEss said...

New Blog post. http://thedutcheess.blogspot.com/ ||Read please. Comment, criticize, beg to differ. Follow the blog. Tell a friend to Tell a friend... Thank you :D..

Anonymous said...

It's been so long! Great job :)

LynnersAR said...

well this chicks a little bit of awesome!!!

Bec@Ethcs said...

Ohhh, I've just finished reading every one of your blog posts - it's taken me about 7months - and now there are no more! You are amazing and have provided me with hours and hours of entertainment and have satisfied my need to only read things with excellent spelling, correct grammar, plenty of variety and a bloody good dash of humour. My standards for a readable blog are very high, and after searching through approximately 57.2 different blogs, I'm pleased to inform you that you possess the only blog that has made the cut. Thanks dude!

Rebecca T. said...

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I've caught up to current time!

I've read this post at least three times now and it still cracks me up. I just read it aloud to my parents and sister. My mom laughed a lot. My sister snickered. I think my dad is concerned for your mental health. And possibly mine for thinking this was so funny.

When I was little my sister and I used to walk around the house with our backs to the walls at night so that NO ONE COULD SNEAK UP ON US.

Creepy creepers. You never know when they might randomly come into the house and FOLLOW YOU AROUND.

Also you may want to check your filter because I may have left eleventy billion comments on your earlier posts. Or at least seven.

You are my favorite.

Wow. That sounded kind of creepy. It wasn't.

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Anonymous said...

woman i miss the bad old days when you had at least 10 blogs a month. whats goin on?

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