This comic was inspired by an experience I had a few night ago. I was pulling into the parking lot of Safeway when I saw one of those gratuitously bright shooting stars. I tried to think of a really good wish, but the shooting star had surprised me and I didn't really have any good wishes on deck, so I wished for the first semi-intelligible thing that came to mind: for the rest of my life to be totally awesome.

As soon as that ham-fisted jumble of words left my mouth, I immediately started thinking of all the ways my wish could backfire and how the phrase "I wish that the rest of my life is totally awesome" could be misinterpreted and taken out of context and turned around to cause me great misery. I silently berated myself for not choosing my words more carefully. I could have used this opportunity to secure a bright and wonderful future for myself, but no, I was stupid and just blurted out the first dumb thing to barge into my head and I'd wasted my wish and possibly also earned myself an untimely death or a crippling brain injury.

Then I realized that I was sitting in a Safeway parking lot, consumed by anxiety over whether some fictional being that grants wishes was going to screw me out of my wish through a technical loophole involving death, brain damage or prolonged unconsciousness.

It made me feel slightly uncomfortable that I'm the person making all the decisions about my life.

Anyway, I'm sometimes reluctant to post short comics, but I should probably get over that because I love to draw them and it gives you guys something to read while I'm working on the longer comics. Oh, and you may have noticed that I changed my banner, sidebar and buttons. At first I just wanted to mess with the post column width so that three-panel comics like this one would fit, but I got carried away.

372 comments:

1 – 200 of 372   Newer›   Newest»
Kate said...

Oi! I do that too! Wish after wish!

Anonymous said...

I always do that xD

Paige said...

I like the new layout! And I loved the comic! Keep 'em coming!

Denice Johnson said...

it is the female mind - it thinks in 3D and this is sometimes good but also, sometimes bad.

Hyphen said...

I always wish more posts from you..
love you Allie!!!!!

Fred Miller said...

The gods hate it when you're all circumspect like this.

The Fred Effect: On Nietzsche

Anonymous said...

I don't think you were being THAT unreasonable. Have monkey paws, genies in bottles, boxes with buttons, and so forth taught us NOTHING? You were right to be concerned.

Toni said...

Love the comic! But boo/hiss to the new layout - I now have to horizontally scroll which is a net no-no.

Amelia said...

Welcome to my life, oh my goodness.

jbabb said...

Hilarous post; I've definitely done the same thing myself.

If you're worried that you're the one making decisions, maybe you should wish for someone else to make decisions in your life... or wish that your wish-granting genie isn't a jerk.

areyoukiddingme said...

Gotta get all those bases covered...

Poochie said...

Remember Bedazzled... wishes can be dangerous.

Love the site updates.

Alice Ambrosia said...

Don't be hesitant to post the short comics! Short or long, we all love reading your posts!

red pen mama said...

Ah, yes, all the conditions that go along with the wish. I totally understand.

And I love this line: "It made me feel slightly uncomfortable that I'm the person making all the decisions about my life." I completely understand this, too.

Plus, I have kids. I mean, that's really frightening.

Margret said...

I always think "go big or go home" and then the other side of my brain is like "you're misunderstood 90% of the time" so I wish for food. Food is simple and good.

Vel said...

Wow, I did just the same thing earlier tonight, when I pulled into the local Safeway (though I believe I'm in a country far from yours - lucky you). Mine was mostly just wishing for 'good things,' and then five minutes of pondering the potential bad-things that could befall me due to technicalities, combined with the usual social anxiety, which inevitably caused me to leave the parking lot without going in and buying... hell, I can't even remember what I went there to buy anymore.

Anyway, the point is: I understand.

Stormy Cruz said...

I'm relieved to know I'm not the only one to ever have had this conversation with myself. We don't have Safeways in Florida. I think the last time was the result of an eyelash wish or one of those "every time the clasp on your necklace reaches the charm" things.
Anyway, I feel you, chica. Here's hoping your life is legitimately awesome in all the ways you actually want it to be. (Hint: I typically go for phrasings like "I hope my life is everything I want it to be!" which, though desperately cheesy, takes away a lot of loophole potential from whoever is in charge of these things.)

Adam said...

Overthinking at its best.

Stormy Cruz said...

*We have Publix, though. I meant to add that.

Mei said...

Yeah, the wording of your wish is very important! I think you expressed wishing anxiety perfectly!

Ariana said...

I love these short comics! Also, your awesome button (my favourite button) brings me to my very favourite Hark! A Vagrant comic of all time. Awesome!

Anonymous said...

I wonder if my life's current circumstances ACTUALLY ARE the result of a poorly worded wish?!

p.s. Thank you for all your funnies & words of wisdom. Please continue to give us MORE MORE MORE!!!

B-Fab said...

Love the new layout! I noticed the new picture right away, lol.

Yay for new content!

S.S. Bigglelog said...

:\ I wish I could see a star. Stupid light polluted Chicago.

Raynn said...

perhaps you could just start making a wish list (ahahha so funny) of wishes so that when that RANDOM time of shooting stars, blowing out candles, and throwing change into a man made water thing.. you can have some ready!!!

Sadie said...

I've read all of your posts, but I'm not usually the commenting type. So, since I wanted to compliment your new banner (hilarious and adorable!), I felt like I should also take this rare opportunity to tell you how very much I love your site. :D

Kayden said...

Even though the drawings are crude, the expressions are still masterfully conveyed...

Moooooog35 said...

That's why I only wish on shooting stars...like John Lennon and stuff.

Better them than me.

Mindy said...

I wish for more objectively awesome posts from you! And also that my vision never suffers so that I can read them and giggle :D

berlee said...

love this. i have been specifying elaborate prevention of exactly these kinds of loopholes since i was a small child wishing on dandelion fluff, backwards necklaces, shooting stars, wishbones, hay trucks (yes.), etc. i would still be thinking up possible pitfalls for days and amending wishes to cover my bases. when my age was still in the single digits. i refuse to think too hard about what this says about me.

Kat said...

haha I love this one. I always start thinking of ways that my wishes can backfire on me after I make them. I tend not to make them anymore. Or at least keep them general like world peace and stuff.

Jenni said...

Hahaha... LOVE. Keep posting. It feeds my need for laughter.

wallflower said...

Oh, this confused me.. You have another blog for big entries now?

Weird.

lalalalauren said...

i <3 this

Michelle said...

Yes, I often feel this way as well: "It made me feel slightly uncomfortable that I'm the person making all the decisions about my life." :D Great comic!

Lacie said...

I know this is going to sound morbid, but it's not. Just practical. I always wish that I'll die before my husband. Because I don't want to end up taking care of him, too. Feeding myself is hard enough. Plus, he's really whiny when he's sick.

It's just a good, long term, standard wish.

JenDay said...

Yay, Allie! A friend of mine turned me on to your blog a week or so ago. Since then, I have been voraciously reading as much of your blog as I could as I eagerly awaited a new update... I'm somewhere in December 2009.

I'm so hyped to see a new post... and also, next time you should just wish that you get all your wishes. Then you could wish for more wishes to correct the wishes that don't go your way. Genius.

J.See said...

I just don't wish anymore because if I've learned anything from movies with 3 wishes, the good selfish ones always come back to bite you in the ass. Like wishing for infinite money or something, you'll get the money, but like, all your friends hate you. Or does that just naturally happen when you get a lot of money? I wouldn't know. Ramble.

Update the awesome button! Hark A Vagrant is still totally awesome, but I need new awesome.

Christine said...

"It made me feel slightly uncomfortable that I'm the person making all the decisions about my life." -- made of win. =D

And if short comics mean MORE comics, I am completely in favor of this.

Love the new banner!

Mia said...

LOL.

It helps to be specific for this non-existent wishes. I do this ALL the time. Including birthdays.

Kim said...

This is TOTALLY how my prayers used to sound when I still believed in God! Ha ha ha! All that anxiety and caveat after caveat... it's a wonder I ever got to sleep at all.

Allie said...

Wallflower - Yes :) I made the other blog to give myself the option of adding static pages in more/different ways than blogger allows. For example, now I can post blown-up images or hidden pages without having them appear in the "pages" section here or the lineup of old posts.

Mrs. Hofeldt said...

So the most prominent part of this post for me was the mention of Safeway. I realize the weird randomness of this - but the way my brain works is not exactly linear and tends to veer at the slightest things.

So anyways, I saw Safeway. I used to live in Washington, where Safeways exist. Now I am down in California, where Safeways become Vons (same store, owned by same company, different name for unknown reason). I prefer the name Safeway - I don't know why. This is exacerbated by the fact that a Vons store recently decided to re-build/modernize one of their locations, which ended in the eviction of a much-treasured local breakfast spot called Chester Drawers - which, to say the least, royally pissed off me and my husband. (What exactly does it mean to be "royally" pissed off?)

So yeah, Safeway is the shit. So, yay!!

Also, I love your blog.

Anonymous said...

OMG I love this! Every time I make a wish, whether it be on a star or weed, I go through a series of worst case scenarios. (I even do it when I pray, I know God isn't a dick, but I still worry about loopholes) O_O

Jennifer said...

I'll make a wish that takes so much time to complete the shooting star is in the next galaxy before I'm finished.

I also want my wish to hold up in a court of law in the event that the Wish Genie tries to screw me over. I wonder how verbal agreements hold up in New Jersey?

JosephtheAntelope said...

Haha! I totally do that too. I used to watch the Fairly Oddparents on Nick and from then I could never trust anything that provides wishes.

"I wish I was hot."
No, no, no. Now I have a fever of 105 degrees. There goes my brain function.

"I wish I had tons of money."
No, no, no! My body is crushed under this 2,000 pound pile of money that dropped from the sky.

"I wish I had the power of flight."
NO, NO, NO!!! I can't control this new-found power! I'm about to be sucked into a jet engine!

Wishes are dangerous. The only wishes that are good are ones from the 'Make a Wish Foundation' and even then the children die afterwards.

PS: I love your new banner.

dinogami said...

Yay! A fun new entry to entertain me on the first day back to teaching classes...muchas!

French Bean & Coffee Bean said...

The Wish Genie, huh?

That's why I stick to rubbing a stone owlet with my left hand when I'm in France. It's less risky. :-P

(And I really adore this new banner alot! ;-)

-French Bean

katran7660 said...

Allie, the gatherer of misfits. I once again thought I was the only one to panic over the possible loopholes in my wishes. "Normal" needs to be tossed out of the dictionary. Well, no, I guess it doesn't. "Zero" is nonexistent, too, but we still need a word for it...

Valya said...

I don't like having to scroll horizontally because my substandard mouse button at work doesn't let me do so with ease, and so I have to HOLD DOWN MY FINGER in order to see what you have for me on the sidebar and this causes me rage.




(But I still love you. In a completely non-creepy way, if there is such a thing on the Internet.)

mt said...

love the new banner...mostly because it includes a rainbow, your "special" dog, and my favorite illustration of you--the one with Praying Mantis typing hands. is that a shark fin on your head?

awesome.

Anonymous said...

You might find this useful.

Miss Tinselly said...

Like.

Anonymous said...

It's sad how often I do the same thing.

Steph Sinkhorn said...

Oh thank God, someone else does this. Fictional wish worrier... I can relate.

Musing on Beauty said...

Always be careful what you wish for 8-s

Kelly D said...

For an 11:11 wish my roommate blurted out: "BOYS!...FOOD!...BOYS!"

She realized boys were a stupid thing to ask for so I guess in her mad rush of a whole minute to come up with a wish she figured food was more important. But then retracted that statement.

Julia said...

Wait........what? Then where's the other blog? (or is it the one you write for $$$$$$$$$?)

Matt said...

I used to do this all the time, but I think that no matter how specific you are, a sufficiently dickish genie can always find a way to screw you over.

I eventually just settled on prefixing any future with with, "I wish for the thing that I think I mean when I say..."

Amy said...

Would this be the Safeway that is only open until Noon?

Michael said...

This is my first comment! Love your stuff. This is no exception. I like the shorter posts in between longer ones, and the wider post column.

marinda said...

I DID notice the new banner, yay Special Dog! And I like the comic and like the comment even better ("It made me feel slightly uncomfortable that I'm the person making all the decisions about my life." tell it, sister!) and goodness, if you're making short comics and want to post them, we sure want to see them!

nikkiritz said...

I've had the same stock wish since I was six years old. I've pondered all of it's possible interpretations and it's my safe go-to wish for any shooting star, fountain coin-tossing, or birthday-candle blowing. I'd share it but you know what they say about telling someone your wish…

I-love-hy-phens?

Kristin said...

This is one of my favorites posts. :^)

Anonymous said...

hahah, I've totally done this. Had an all-out panic and made small adjustments to wishes...makes me feel kinda dumb. I really like your blog, and jealous you get to do this and get paid. Do you want to blog as a career?

amanda said...

I love the new top bar - Seeing Alot everyday makes me superbly happy; but you need to fix a link on the side.
Your dog post still goes to the emoticon posting.
Brilliant as always, girl!
I support the shorter posts just so I can get a little smiling in during my awful job!

Kate said...

Whenever I make a wish, it's incredibly specific. I practically put a timestamp on it. Because the imaginary wish-granting deity is a figment of my imagination, and I read that short story The Monkey's paw with the wishes that go so badly awry, so that means the wish-creature has too. My own imagination is just looking for ways to get me.

~Rie said...

I do that wish thing all the time. People look at me strangely.
I love that you put the Alot in the banner. That is still my all time favorite post. I want an Alot t-shirt or stuffed desk cluttery thing or something. I do look forward to your posts.

Gina said...

This totally makes me think of that movie with Brendan Fraser and Elizabeth Hurley... she's the devil and makes all his wishes backfire; he's gay, tiny penis, etc. It's one of those "awesomely stupid" movies :)

Shawna said...

I do this all the time. The worst is when I start panicking about all the horrible things that can happen to my family, and then my boyfriend walks in and wants to know why I'm so freaked out. It is impossible to explain, and regularly messes with my life.

Miss Nikki said...

Don't worry, the urban dictionary has you covered on choosing the term "awesome" your life will be: "formidable, amazing, heart-stirring, wonderful, cool, hip, exciting"

Congratulations on making a wonderful wish. I'm sure the genie god of the shooting stars will not put you in a coma...

Happenstance said...

So great. I think I've done this before.

Andrew said...

I love your choice of title for your extra-wide Hyperbole; Hyperbole and Nine-Eighths, just by the by. And the new layout; fresh and clean, unlike that old loser layout which was so grungy no one could see anything at all. Stupid old layout. I bet it never saw this revolution coming.

... Oh, you mean you've just made a few changes to the layout? More like a face-lift than a replacement? And the very same layout now recovering from invasive plastic surgery just heard my insults? Oh well, at least it's probably still too drugged up to do anything about it. Ha, stupid lay -

Phoebe S. said...

No, no! This is totally logical! >.> <.<

Hear my horror story of non-specific wishing:

I needed a place to stay during a long stretch of travel, but every hotel was booked in this town I was in, so at the LAST one I could find driving around, I wished before I entered that they would have a room available and that it would be under X amount of dollars. I go in, they have only one room left, it's exactly one dollar under the amount I had hoped for...but it had been a smoking room, smelled terrible, barely passed for clean, and the bathroom amounted to a rickety closet that happened to have plumbing. I realized as I entered I had gotten /exactly/ what I'd wished for and been screwed on just about everything else.

When I make a wish now, I pretty much pretend I'm writing a legal document. It takes a while.

ABC said...

Include me in the "I've done that" list!

Quixotic said...

The concept of "small comics" sounds good. But when equated to other things, we can see that it's a flawed system. Examples:

Example 1
Sorry you can't have the crack that keeps you from killing your animals and dancing naked on your roof due to withdraws, here's some gum. It has sugar which is also a stimulant.

Example 2
I don't have another example. It turns out the first one fully covers all aspects of the issue. Apologies.

Amber said...

I love the new blog layout and LOVE LOVE LOVE the short comic strip! I'm always craving more Allie posts between your blog post so this is perfect. Thanks for your humor and creativity!

KelvinD said...

> Toni said...
> ...But boo/hiss to the new layout
> - I now have to horizontally
> scroll which is a net no-no.

Excellent comic.

Great new layout.

But - Toni - the rest of us have moved on from 800x600 screens. Try to keep up. ~heheheh~

Anonymous said...

I don't have to scroll horizontally at all. Looks great!

Stephanie said...

i have done this SO MANY TIMES, and spent hours of time pondering what exactly i would wish that would most minimize the odds of me getting cosmically screwed over. in fact, i kind of gave up wishing on things for awhile, out of a deep paranoia of invoking ironic disaster/destruction.

Anonymous said...

"Make me a diamond the size of my head."

More D&D is the answer; you'll learn to close those wish loopholes on the fly.

:)

cicely

Erik said...

Hopefully, the Wish Genie didn't misinterpret your with to be "totally conscious of how awesome your life is" to mean you don't want to sleep.

Ella said...

Hehehe, this totally reminds me of Sanjay's genie (from the webcomic Cowbirds in Love, y'know)

Ed said...

I hope your penisman has a coma-free awesomely long life.

Kat said...

Allie,
I started reading your blog a couple of months ago, and I've been ~traveling back in time~ reading your older posts. It is such a pleasure to see how your writing has evolved over time. You have clearly become sharper and more confident in your craft through blogging. Your writing was funny to begin with, but you've really improved, and it's so great to see that.

I encourage you to keep at it! You're so good now, I'm excited to see where you go in the future. You're on the right track for sure so don't stop now!

I just felt like telling you that because I write sometimes as well and it can be very discouraging. But what you're doing is clearly awesome. Thanks for keeping me company this summer, I definitely needed it. I'll be taking your blog with me into the fall. ^_^

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

I love the short comics in-between the longer ones. Whatever rocks your boat, baby, rocks mine. And by that I don't mean anything sexual, you perv.

Kathleen said...

Fabulous. Perfect. Keep them coming.

Erin said...

That's why I don't make wishes anymore. Reading "The Monkey's Paw" had a profound impact on me. My family thinks I'm a bit crazy, but you never know.

Sheppitsgal said...

I heart your comics.

I also heart the layout.

x

Jill said...

Love that you're as neurotic as I am. Company definitely makes the insanity more comfortable.

aimee said...

I once spent an evening critiquing a list of "wishes" suggested by some advertisement in the back of a magazine that let you pick 5 wishes for $29.95 or whatever. It was crazy how many would come true if the person died soon.

What an awesome first comment I just made. It's barely comprehensible.

L. Bastien said...

Whenever "shooting stars" appear, my initial childish reaction is to make a wish on it. But life experience has taught me that almost 95% of those stars were actually 747's, and I have just wished for an airplane to grant me peace and serenity, and 20 bucks. This always leads to a crushing blow that lasts approximately 13 hours, until I think to myself, "self, perhaps there was a shooting star BEHIND the 747, and your wish was heard after all." And then I sit around for a while expecting to find 20 bucks.

Julie @ Willow Bird Baking said...

Okay, you should definitely read the young adult book, Half Magic. It's made for people who think like this -- and I don't mean that in an evil way, 'cause I think like this too ;)

Kelsey Lauersen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
LA Nuts book said...

Safeway: Making wishes come true, even the semi-intelligent ones you blurt out without having time to think about them first.

Billy Apathy said...

Shooting stars are harmless. It's the monkey's paw you have to watch out for.

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious because I do the same thing. Did the same thing. I don't make wishes anymore! lol

Love the shorter comic too! Have a fun day!

-Becky

Janellionaire said...

I just stumbled across this blog last night, in the midst of hiding from bills and sleep, and I have to say I find it disturbing that you seem to be inside my own head (or vice versa). I have to wonder if either I am in fact writing this in my sleep (unlikely because I don't sleep much, and I don't see me getting MORE ambitious while it is happening, also I have some kick-ass dreams that don't usually involve knowing how to do things like actually blog), or if we are psychically connected and one of us is living vicariously through the other. I should mention the other thing I do while not sleeping is watch reruns of Medium, because it comes on at 12:30 and 1:30, so I have a rudimentary knowledge of these kinds of things. Can you let me know if I am in fact living vicariously through you? Because I won't mind, it will make the boring parts of my life that much more awesome OH MY GOD it's true. Don't you see? I must have been a car in a Safeway parking lot at some point, and made a wish on a shooting star for the rest of my life to be totally awesome, and the star knew that that was impossible, and the only solution was for me to unknowingly start being a whole other person who was more awesome than me! Clearly this is the only logical explanation. AND clearly you have become aware of my presence in your head, thinking your thoughts, and you reversed the process while I was asleep and found out when the initial link occurred, and wrote this post knowing that I would get up this morning and stumble blearily to my computer and be IRRESISTIBLY COMPELLED to read it before I even checked my Dear Abbys, and that I would then KNOW. And know that you knew. But why? Are you telling me that you are OK with being my mental conjoined twin? Or are you hoping that awareness will break the bond? Or, did I in fact die that night in the Safeway parking lot, and start haunting you because you are the only one who can see me, and this is your way of gently reminding me, in hopes that I can now let go and move on? That kind of thing happens all the time on Medium. Please let me know ASAP because I really think I'm on to something here.

Cara dB said...

I love the comics! Short ones, long ones, they're all awesome and I'm totally taking notes about how to convey emotions via MS Paint. (only in my case, I would like to embroider comics - of my own design - on a handkerchief (yes, I know that is totally crazy) so I'm reading your blog trying to figure out what's funniest in one panel and how to translate that into satin stitch.)

The internet is godsend for wackaloons like me, you know?

Klatu said...

You are freakin' brilliant. I'm glad I'm not the only person who's slightly uncomfortable with my own thought processes.

Katie said...

Just wanted to say that I love the new title art. I'm glad you put your semi-retarded dog in there, he seems to be quite a character. I just have one question...why is the sun sad?

smonk said...

yeah I noticed the new header and was like "A NEW POST???!!!!1ONE!!!!???!!??" and then was disappointed until this morning

Maru said...

I bet Odysseus did this a lot and that's why the Gods were always mad at him.

salwa said...

It's good that you are thinking of all these contingencies - shooting stars do really like to screw people over. Just make sure to put it all in a contract, get it signed, witnessed and notarized...because you never know.

Also, keep the shorter comics coming. Pithy is funny too.

Emily said...

you have to be specific!! i agree.

Jeff said...

Are you a lawyer? Were you one in a former life? This illustrates succinctly why it is hard to be (a) a good lawyer and (b) happy. Anyway, thanks for allowing us to commiserate. P.S. Your comics and blog posts are wonderful!

Sarah J.G. said...

1. You should *absolutely* do more short comics like this, because this one is fabulous.

2. I do the same thing when I wish on shooting stars, or birthday cakes. Lot of panicked wish-revision.

3. And I also often find myself sitting in the Safeway parking lot pondering my neurosis. Or listening to end of an NPR piece. One of those.

Jess vW said...

oh i love the short comic! keep those coming! i love you too. i know a lot (alot?) of your fans say this, but truly seriously, sometimes i feel like you're inside my brain. it's amazing. and creepy. but definately awesome!! it was honestly a gift to find your blog last month, and to know there really are other "fantastic" people like me in this world!!!

The Stifled Artist said...

I do the exact same thing...

Anonymous said...

Please get over it :) This is awesome!

jannine21 said...

I Will forever be in awe of your ability to read so many other people's minds. (You rule!!)
I do the exact same thing, but I'm afraid that if I'd wish I could be a beautiful, perfect looking woman, I'd be turned into a mannequin or a Barbie. Talk about FML...

S.B. said...

Love the new layout!

I gave up on all those wishes. The THING that grants them is brain damaged itself. It might give you a lifetime subscription to Reader's Digest and consider that AWESOME.

ladykay said...

Too much Fantasy Island? ;) Love the short comics!

Teri said...

Love the short comics! This is one of my favourites!!

One Blonde Girl said...

"It made me feel slightly uncomfortable that I'm the person making all the decisions about my life."

Totally with you on this one. My life decisions are based around what I find on the underside of my Magic Hat beer caps. "Remember the dinosaurs" probably isn't the best advice when deciding what car to buy, but I bet I'm safer from T-Rex in my Humvee than I would be in a Prius.

Tara said...

You've GOTTA know the Wish Genie is a primo, world-class dick. Best to be sure, heh.

Sheryl said...

"It made me feel slightly uncomfortable that I'm the person making all the decisions about my life."
This might be the funniest thing that I read or hear all day. :-)

Emily said...

I love it! And I love the new header! Yay!!! Also, I totally relate to, and have done the same thing in your post.

Blue Heron Moon said...

Enjoyed the short post as much as the long ones...don't work so hard. Really love your new look...Good job!

~Elizabeth aka Lacquered Lizard said...

Like the idea of short comics. This one makes me wonder if we weren't in the same brain at the same time, I swear this JUST happened to me...though I was sitting at home reading one of those dumb "Make a wish" emails.
Everything has a cost...the butterfly effect and all that. I believe the wish granting genie is a class A dickhead.

mandy said...

post short things! post all things!

Niki said...

Love all of the site changes.
Love the short comic.
Love that you put into words/adorable drawings all the things that I think!!

Anonymous said...

this is an anxiety i battle with at every chance sighting of 11:11. i am struck with panic when i realize my wish can be misinterpreted and scramble to word it correctly before it switches to 11:12.
when i fail to meet my deadline, i hang my head and vow to be better prepared next time.

Lauren Rose said...

I have the same issue! I am always way over-specific with my wishes ever since I read Well Wished in sixth grade.

Don't worry about posting short comics, they're just as amusing to read as the long ones and gives us more updates to look at. Always a good thing.

Cervus said...

Are you, like, my long-lost sister or something? Nearly everything you write is something I can relate to. Ever since I read "The Monkey's Paw" and similar stories when I was a kid, I've been paranoid about carefully phrasing my wishes in a way that won't backfire on me.

However, I'd always been told that in order for a wish on a shooting star to be effective, you have to make the wish before the star has vanished...which is why I usually end up frantically thinking something simple like "LOVE!" or "HAPPY!" in the brief second I have.

I've never made it past a two-syllable word in that situation.

saysomething said...

I like the short ones. Also like that Dog is in the header now!

Beckles said...

I like the shorter comments. Then I can read them during the day instead of waiting until I get home. Otherwise I have to worry about getting interrupted with people wanting me to do work.

Stacy Q said...

Oh, I want this on a Tee shirt! I stopped making wishes years ago because it seemed too dangerous.

girlvaughn said...

I like the short ones... mixes it up.

Sarah said...

Hey Allie! I doubt you'll even see this because I know you do read your comments but there's a fuckload already and you only posted this a couple of hours ago, but I'm gonna say it anyway! I just found your blog for the first time a few days ago and have since spent nearly every subsequent waking hour reading all of your old posts. We're talking staying up until like 5am reading; they're seriously that addicting. You are amazing and hilarious and please never stop doing what you do. <3

Canaa said...

I never make a wish without adding provisos and codicils to prevent it from turning out to be something I wish I hadn't wished for. I do not trust supernatural wish-granting forces. You just know they have to be bored with unending existence, and as such, play silly buggers with people just to alleviate their eternal tedium.

Emily S said...

I like how you have put less and less detail into your hair until now, the illustration is only a blond triangle atop your head, almost like a hat.

Also, to the person who commented just above me, congratulations on sounding really smart. I mean it.

Christina In Wonderland said...

I love your new banner! And secondly, I worry about my wishes all the time too, so don't fear. There's a whole ecosystem of people out here in the world who shouldn't be in charge of their own lives. We'd be better off that way.

Jennifer said...

This is hilarious!! It's something I would do exactly like that. I love the expressions!

Trish said...

Add me to the long list of people who are so very, very happy that they aren't the only ones whose minds operate like this.

Feelings for Breakfast said...

The wish genie IS a total dick, but I think he's usually a little more understanding about one-wish situations. It's when you start rubbing all up on his lamp and demanding three wishes that he tries to screw you over on technicalities just to spite you.

Natalie said...

I love that you included your dog in your banner! Your post about your dog possibly being retarded cracked me up. I love the way you drew her and her markings! Very spiffy of you.

Lady Wordsmith said...

Allie, we do love you :D For my part, you make me think about life in a completely different way, in a way that I'd never considered before, and in a way that I really love, and for that reason you have enriched my life tremendously! I am not very much like you at all, lol, and almost never have any of the kinds of thoughts that you have - but I do have different ones, thoughts that are my own. You have helped me to find confidence in my own abilities Allie. So it might be a scary thought that you're in charge of making decisions in your life, but you have helped me to make some pretty important decisions myself.

Thank you :)

Bloody hell, that was a bit serious eh?! Sorry - I don't know how to do a 'sheepish' emoticon, so I'll just do a slightly perturbed one: :oS

Sam Pagan said...

Ever since I saw the first Leprechaun movie in 1995, I have always thought about specific wishes I would make if ever given the chance, because I don't want to get screwed over, heh.

Shauna (Fido and Wino) said...

Your short comics are great! And the layout is lovely :)

Pearl said...

I have completely avoided making wishes just for this very reason.

Pearl

SpaceManAndy said...

Dear Allie,

My friend Liz (twitter.com/lizrawr) is cute, and she thinks you're cute. She would like to go on a date with you. My boyfriend (twitter.com/humbugls) and I (twitter.com/SpaceManAndy) would like to come too; we could have a double gayte. If you need more convincing, she made you this: http://twitpic.com/2hjtjw

Thanks,
SpaceManAndy

tristan(me) said...

theres an optical illusion in the panals!!
if you look at one gray dots should appear at the corners then dissappear when you look at them (the dots) either that or i may need my eyes tested

Mae said...

great comic!

and i love the updated banner, everything looks wonderful.

can't wait till your next eye-wateringly hysterical post.


www.the-soul-quake.blogspot.com

flyingmommy said...

So happy to see Special Dog in the banner! Love the comic,too. I'm sorry to say I've been there....

Lindsey said...

PLEASE keep posting the short comics. They're just as good and we get to hear from you more often! You're awesome no matter what, so even if you think the little ones are somehow less, they're all effing brilliant and I personally want to read everything you have!

Victoria said...

I recommend that you check out the Open-Source Wish Project. It's kind of dead, as is the webcomic that spawned it, but it deals with PRECISELY this kind of problem. It's here if you're interested.

My suggestion would be to contact Ferrett (the guy who was in charge of it, and who is also the person responsible for sending me here in the first place, interestingly enough) and see if he would mind if you set up a similar project in your forums. His LiveJournal profile page has his e-mail address. Dear God I hope you read this; it could be AWESOME.

P.S. Yes to more shorter comics. The long ones are great, but I love seeing you've posted something new regardless of what it is. :)

Brigid said...

I'd like to join the legions of commenters who have already reassured you that WE DO THIS TOO. Every time I wish for something - at 11:11, when I see a shooting star, you name it - I always wonder if it will be taken the wrong way. Always. It kind of makes wishing more trouble than it's worth, now that I think about it.

Cat said...

Love it :) I think we all do irrational things inside our heads.

My problem is that I believe every time I do something bad out of laziness, I will cause a bad thing to happen to me.
Last month, I threw a plastic bottle into a rubbish bin as I cycled home. I heard it fall out onto the street and didn't stop to put it back. I worried that something would happen to me as payback for littering my planet. It did. I spent the night gassing out my teeny apartment with roach killer after coming home to one the size of my hand.

I also save small spiders in the hope that their larger, and more aggressive parents will see and choose not to terrorise me again.

Paula said...

You said:
"It made me feel slightly uncomfortable that I'm the person making all the decisions about my life."

Me, yesterday, car keys in hand,bags packed, anxiety red-lining as to whether or not I should drive to CA for an event with potentially enormous emotional impact:

Scenario: Heads I go, tails I don't.
Flip...

(eternity)

Heads.
Immediately (and loudly): "#*&%!"

(The immediacy of this curse tells me I don't really want to go.)

So I don't. I went for a motorcycle ride, instead.

Cul-de-sac-ed said...

Everyone knows you're supposed to wish for like a bazillion more wishes. DUH!

oh_fer_the_love said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that does that. :)

Anonymous said...

I LOVE the new banner and the more comics, the better in my opinion. My heart leaps every time something new comes up! No joke.

Giverny said...

My friend just quit grad school because she hated it and I actually found myself consoling her with examples of you (because we both stalk your blog obsessively). I was like "look at Allie? She doesn't have a "real" job and she's HAPPY and kicks ass! You too are going to be happy and kick ass young grasshopper! Who cares if you won't have money for food?" You're an inspiration to us all Allie. If only I had the balls to quit my "real" job and do what makes me happy...
KEEP UP THE ASS KICKING!!!!
Kate

Paulos said...

Fucking wish Genie always take things too literally like the time I said 'I wish I had a bigger penis' and the next day I came home to find a severed whale penis on my doorstep, try explaining that to the neighbours......

Sally said...

When I was a kid, my cat Smokey died. I remember being out in the yard and wishing on the first star of the evening.

"I wish Smokey would come back!"

Then I thought "Wait...what if it works? But what if instead of my cuddly, furry cat he comes back as a rotting skeleton cat from beyond the grave?"

And I totally freaked out. I lived in terror of being haunted by my gruesome zombie-cat, until finally I told my mother what was bothering me and she informed me that wishes don't really come true.

What a relief that was.

Years later I read "Pet Sematary" and just about jumped out of my skin during the part with the zombie cat returning from the dead.

Jenny said...

That's a movie! "Wishmaster," or something like that. Definitely made me rethink the wishes I so carelessly throw out there to the universe.

Tommy said...

Lol xDDD That's too funny!

SuzRocks said...

Hmmmm.... You might want to buy a big life insurance policy. just in case.

girlnormal said...

I guess that huge meteor shower that happened....laaast weekend???...probably really threw you for a loop. Or maybe it was awesome because it gave you a bunch of extra chances to make corrections to your wish.

I sometimes have this same reaction when someone asks me what I'd do if I had a million dollars. They're like "No. It doesn't matter where the money came from. No...it's not from blood diamonds or slave labor. Jesus. It's just a rhetorical question. Nevermind."

Anonymous said...

Dang, I think I can win the crazy contest on this one...

Some genuinely bad things have happened to me, so now I remember every wish I made in the past as a wasted opportunity to wish that particular thing hadn't happened.

Now when I see a shooting star I think "Fuck you, god damned shooting fucking star!" Sigh...

Kate

p.s. I am in love with your blog

Aslimmerkitten said...

My beloved always tells me that 'wishes are tricky things- and they tend to come true to the letter, not to the intent'. I blanme his years of nerdy, nerdy D+Ding, where wishes WILL f- you up.

So our readily practiced wish is: I wish to always have exactly the money I need for any item, service or contract in the exact form of currency I require, without physical, psychic, emotional or legal harm to me, or anyone else.

Phew. You have to be REALLY specific with wishes. If in doubt, get them checked out by a lawyer.

Anonymous said...

I just discovered this blog this week, and I love it. And I love this comic. So I'm not trying to be mean when I say I think the comic stands up on its own without the blurb underneath... butofcourseit'syourblogtoucandowhatyouwantwhatdoIknowanyway(please don't hurt me!)

girlnormal said...

also...i'm an internet idiot. i thought i had included my url in my above comment (to help with the "totally capable of finding you" part)...but maybe not? I have no idea.

Also, I've never commented here before, despite having read EVERYSINGLEONEOFYOURPOSTS. So I finally felt like i should stop being a peeping tom and finally just come knock on the door.

www.girlnormal.wordpress.com

Fly said...

Very cool comic. I love it. Keep it coming. Cant wait for more.

You did a great job with your banner. MY BANNER SUCKS! (so as myself) It just makes me wanna put my entire brain to the recycle bin. Take care.

Dan Michael said...

Amen Allie, the short comics of indecision are a totally good look for you. Keep em coming.

And the new banner and sidebar look amazing, good work there too!

Okay, time for me to stop gushing.

bye.

Emily S said...

And another thing: Why aren't you responding inside your comments anymore? Give a shout once in a while, either let us know you're a real person or let us know you've ascended to the heavens to become God of Blogging.

melissa said...

I do this too. I call it the "Too Much Twilight Zone In My Formative Years" syndrome.

Ilyanep said...

I don't know how often you look at your comments, but I just wanted to let you know that I *love* your blog. Reading it always makes me laugh. Please keep up the great work :)

anne marie in philly said...

love it! all of it!

(came over here from the RAVELRY site)

Karah said...

Loved the comic! By the way, I think they should have a making-your-decisions-for-you Genie.I personally feel completely unrested by the fact that I have to make all these big life decisions (or ANY life decisions) while i'm still playing with Legos and eating from a Batman PEZ dispenser. :-( Dang you fictional Genie, dang you to starry heck.

Carisse Kay said...

short or long, i seriously LOVE EVERYTHING YOU WRITE, and it truly makes my day. They even change my mood when im sad or angry! :)

Carisse Kay said...

short or long, i seriously LOVE EVERYTHING YOU WRITE, and it truly makes my day. They even change my mood when im sad or angry! :)

Tammie said...

@ Mrs. Hofeldt

You'll be pleased to know it's SoCal that has Vons, here in NorCal (specifically the Bay Area) we have Safeways out the wazoo :).

Anonymous said...

I know this is not where you were going with this, but, growing up in the South, we were taught that God would handle our prayers much like you described above. "If you pray for patience, watch out, b/c God will make you break your leg and then you'll have to learn to be patient!!"...."If you pray to be a stronger person, God will throw a lot of troubles your way to make you strong!!" And these were supposed to be...encouraging somehow, I think. I finally said forget it, if I'm going to mess with my fate so much, I just won't ask for anything...

Anyway not to depress the whole room, I love your comics, and have forwarded your dog comic to just about every dog-owner I know LOL :) .

Aveline said...

Short or long, all your comics are hilarious! More comics is always better than less comics! And I looove the new banner. I love the rainbow. And I love your poor retarded dog. <3 <3 <3

Anonymous said...

WHERE'S THE NADLE, ALLIE?!

Melanie said...

I LOVE the short comics. This one especially. Not even kidding you, this morning, I had an eyelash on my face while I was getting ready for work. And I did the same thing as I blew it off my finger. These wishes are heavy business -- one misplaced word and BAM! your wish is all messed up and you find your Grandma died to give you all that money you wished for! Gives me anxiety every birthday too! Anyway... love your blog, and keep up on the short comics (and not to kiss your ass too much, I love your new banner, etc too!)

Brianne Nurse said...

If any of the unlucky people in any of the Wishmaster movies had that kind of foresight, our world would be short two good movies and two absolutely terrible ones.

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

You? Got carried away?!? That is impossible as it is completely out of character for you.

Pshaw.

Anonymous said...

This persona is getting tired, and quick. Go back to story-telling and stop relying of this 'I'm SO weird!' b.s..

Neil Decurio said...

Good thing you didn't wish for something like "I want to live forever!" - the wish-genie might have turned you into a zombie and you'd end up eating Boyfriends brains.

Penny Fabric Art said...

I learned this. Don't think too hard. And enjoy the comics.

Anonymous said...

i love your blog so much. i've even gone as far back as i can to read your past posts... slightly stalkerish? i think not.

anyway, just wanted to let you know that i loved your blog (A LOT). :)

-Raech

Chipo said...

Nooooooo, previous RSS feed button was so much betteeeeer.

Nodavebarry said...

Don't worry, Allie. When you make a wish in a Safeway parking lot you are like, SAFE. It's an eternal cosmic law. Unless Walmart buys the building. Then you are eternally screwed.

Observer003 - Earthlings said...

This one I want as a poster. Do you sell posters? Because this one I want as one. A poster.

Corbin said...

Was this during the meteor shower?

lukepalmer said...

That reminds me of something I overheard at a party:

"If I work at King Soopers for the rest of my life, I'm going to kill myself."

Self-fulfilling prophecy, no?

Anna said...

Short comics are fine! I am excited about all updates of anything :D

I like the new header too. The frowny sun confuses me a little but it suits the picture in its way. And the Alot and manic dog make me happy.

Lily said...

And again, I'm pretty sure I love you in the most creepy way possible. <3!

Carron said...

hi! i'm carron, first time commenter, long time reader. well not really, just found you and have been reading all your previous posts...yes i have that much going on in my life.
i like your short comics, please post more.
i often feel the same about wish phrasing...like i should invest in a lawyer to ensure that i get the wording just right because those bastard wish genies can surely fuck with the universe and my wishing.
all the best,
Carron
p.s. i like your new banner and layout. you're quite creative.

Dy said...

Reading all these comments makes me extremely glad to know that I'm totally not the only one with these weird analytical personality tics.

Love, love, love blog+comics+everything. Even Boyfriend is awesome, but I'll choose not to love him since he clearly is yours. Though still lovable in his Boyfriendy way.

Jon said...

When I was a kid, my dad taught me the star wish rhyme, which he said I was supposed to say whenever I saw the first visible star each night.

"Star light, star bright
First star I see tonight
I wish I may, I wish I might
..Aw shucks, it's just a satellite"

Now my parents argue over who's at fault for my upbringing :P

Also, I never wished on falling stars, because I got it into my head that the wish had to be made while it was actually visible, so by the time I tried to make the wish, it was too late. Then I thought about walking around making wishes constantly and that way whatever wish randomly matched up with a falling star would be the one to come true, but I realized I'd run the risk of looking like one of those crazy guys walking around talking to himself.
Clearly this whole chain of thought was thought out before the invention of BlueTooth.

Finally, I'm in agreement with the others who said they liked the short posts. Really, they could only be better if you posted every day :)

- I mean "they" as in the posts, not the commenters I agree with. I don't know anything about them. Them the commenters, not them the posts. Er.. yeah.

Anonymous said...

Are you a Scorpio?

I am and I seriously thought that Scorp's were the only ones crazy enough to over think every bad possible outcome of a wish. "Be careful what you wish for" always bites me in the ass.

Ink_Petrel said...

I do that too! :) I get momentarily paranoid that I've acccidentally wished for something that will backfire horribly, or make life worse for someone else because I get what I want.

And I love the short comics. More please! :)

Bowl full 'a bogus said...

This is when I wish for another non-jerk genie capable of granting multiple wishes that may not backfire on what I may say.

This may work if I were to ever see a shooting star, genie or anyone able to grant me wishes. Unfortunately I've never even seen a shooting star.

But is this fair? Is it really fair that someone like myself with never have the chance to be granted a wish simply because I don't live near genies or do not see shooting stars, ever. No, I didn't think so either.

Although, I'm not sure as to how I would overcome that. We could capture a shooting star but I doubt I have a rope large enough for that...

Bowl full 'a bogus said...

Oh, I can't edit comments I've posted...

If wishing for another non-jerk genie is legal in the wishing-for-genie-laws. There is also a problem with this current genie being such a jerk that his idea of a non-jerk may be himself. Thus backfiring on my wish that I assumed was unable to be backfired, ever.
Run, that's what I would do if I ever saw a genie/shooting star. They're only a recipe for disaster.

Oh and the new layout is pretty :)

Samm Cotton said...

I've resisted the temptation to make wishes this year, only to find myself becoming superstitious and wearing white for good luck...

Maybe you'll be awesome, maybe not. Either way, you knew what you meant by your words. That counts

that girl said...

shooting stars rawk!

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