Announcement

 

Hello. 


This is an announcement. 


Out of all the places I could have put an announcement, I will admit that it probably doesn't make the most logistical sense to put it here. 


If I'd had the opportunity to put it somewhere that makes more sense for announcing things, such as Facebook or Twitter, I promise you I would have done that. However—and please don't become too distracted by this—but the vast majority of my social media accounts were hacked sometime back by an extremely persistent individual or entity whom I have thus far been unsuccessful at defeating, so I do not currently have anywhere else to put this. 


Moving on. 


As we discussed, there is an announcement. Soon it will be upon us. But first, a warm-up announcement: 



I told you this because I thought it might lend some credibility to the actual announcement, which is that I wrote a second book. For real this time. The book is finished. It has 518 pages. There is no going back at this point. There's a super official book page and everything. 


As is tradition, a variety of ordering experiences are available.


For example, if you wish to be taken directly to the book page with no extra fanfare, please click the regular button:



If you wish to use a larger button to go directly to the book page, please click the big button: 



If you wish to have a more difficult experience, the hard button is for you: 



If you do not wish to interact with the book any further, please follow this button to safety: 



If you want to feel slightly weirder than you currently do before visiting the book page, please click here: 



If you wish for me to apologize for writing the book and/or for the bird collage, that option is also available:



If you just want to click a bunch of buttons, please go here: 



---------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Okay. The announcement is complete. We may now proceed to the bonus phase. 


Perhaps this event was not promotional enough for you. Perhaps you wish to be subjected to a truly unnecessary level of marketing both related and unrelated to my book. Perhaps you simply wish to experience the future in whatever form it takes. If this is the case, I have great news for you: 


I recently learned how to use Instagram, and over the next several days, I intend to explore the limits of its potential, possibly even discovering new ways of using it. I will be relentless, and you will regret becoming involved, but you do have the opportunity to become involved if you wish. It's also completely possible that I decide against this and just post extreme close-ups of my belly button. Or something else could happen. One can never know these things. 



Thank you for your time and patience. I hope you can find it in your hearts to still respect me after this. 


-Allie


267 comments:

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PikaCheck said...

Today is my Birthday and this is honestly the most unexpected but welcome present I could have received.
My goodness, I've missed your presence here on the series of tubes. Welcome back and I look forward to seeing how Future/Now Allie adjusts to IG.

AMGblaghs said...

I AM ALOT EXCITED OMGOMGOMG ❤️

blaise97824 said...

Welcome back!

Ceelee said...

I'm just so damn happy to see you here. That's all.

Anonymous said...

I've come back to your site so many times, wondering how you were and hoping you're okay. (That sounded less creepy in my head, I swear. I wish a lot of strangers to me well when I don't hear from them for a while [Bo Burnham is another one!].)

Anyway, so glad to hear this and sending love <3 <3 <3 Proud of you :D

-Charlie

Dave T said...

Wow. I knew that if I clicked on this page every day, twice a day, for seven years, it would finally pay off.

daaaphne said...

YAY!!!!!

Fyrewolf The Dinosaur said...

You coming back to the internet is one of the best things to happen to the internet this year...probably ever. Welcome back!!! <3

Anonymous said...

Very glad to see you back.

Nena said...

Holy macaroni! This just made 2020 WAY better!

Nancy_B.48 said...

I’m so happy you’re back! It’s nice to have a positive thing happen in 2020!! Yay!!!

Rachel said...

So exciting!!!

Renazuki said...

\^^/ Happy to see you back online! Missed you, your stories and your humor!

Actressdancer said...

You have been ever so missed!

GirlygirlManda said...

My heart is so broken with JOY right now. I have missed you, and your humor, and your truth, and your voice, and Helper Dog, and Special Dog. I have real tears streaming down my face right now.

DrDill said...

WOW. Allie's haitus has literally spanned my entire PhD process (2013 - 2020). Seven years!!! She's been going through alot (they're hairy, so it makes sense she'd get lost passing through one), and it feels so good to know she survived the journey!

In addition to advancing my field of research, I have told so many people about Spaghatta nadle (& mocorono nodol), smiled sheepishly during encounters with "DO ALL THE THINGS" memes that circulate around the internet, and for countless occasions, made dog's "eeeeeeeeeeeee" sound whilst encountering stressful situations (it doesn't fix the problems but sure does let others know there are feelings about dealing with them).

Allie, if you're reading this, seriously the love you've received from complete strangers is completely earned. You've helped countless human beings enjoy life with an unconventional perspective, and through it, help people cope with life's huge spectrum of challenges. Also, you owe us nothing.

Welcome back, and a big belated THANK YOU!!! <3

Ms Witch said...

I am late, late for this important return of Allie. I come here periodically hoping to see you have return and lucky unicorn today you are here.

Tom said...

Oh, joy! You drew a geep (goat+sheep) for me in Book Number One. It would be swell if you signed Book Number Two in Bend.

Dr. Erasmus Q. Gorgon-Smythe Esq. said...

Me running around hyperactively and saying 'YESSS!' a lot.

Also, clicking buttons.

Welcome back!

Lila said...

So happy for you 💜

metamatik said...

I'm so very happy that you're back Allie!

Scott said...

That's absolutely the fastest I have ever preordered anything.

Unknown said...

I can't believe you're back! Sooo happy! Hope you're well and happy.

Meredith Andersen-Elliott said...

I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED!! I was just thinking about this blog, and you, Allie, the other day and now THIS AND IT IS LIKE JOY IS HERE AGAIN. I’m in Oregon and everything has been terrible for so long that this is like the rain we desperately need, but for my whole entire soul. I swear, Allie, reading your blog helped get me started on the path towards understanding my own mental health so much better. Thank you thank you thank you. And thank you SO fucking much for coming back now, when you are so welcome. ❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😭😭😭😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

That is my emotional journey in emoji.

Dan Q said...

So glad you posted this here. RSS is the best.

acrackedbat said...

you can't make me push the buttons.

Unknown said...

Yayyyyyy!! *excited flailing* :D

Jackie Beltaine said...

SQUEEEEE~ I'm so happy to see you and OMG. This made my morning. And SMITE the horrible fools that took over your social media accounts. SMITE SMITE SMITE

rebecky said...

Oh my life. Finally 2020 provides me with an oyster, instead of an endless march of turds! I'M SO F**KING HAPPY TO SEE YOU BACK ON THE INTERNETS THAT I MAY JUST TYPE IN CAPS FOR THE REST OF THE GOD DAMN DAY

Anonymous said...

OMG - something good is coming out of 2020! So excited!

PaulE said...

I have both pressed all the buttons and bought the book...

Bulos said...

This day has made a U-turn for the best! YaY!

theresab said...

Thank you for giving me something to look forward to!

Crystal said...

Oh my gerrrd so glad to hear that you’re still around and coming up with material! Looooove you and used to love reading through this site - I used to read every update. Congrats on the book!!

Carin Rubenstein said...

Your reappearance is CLEARLY the only shining light in all of 2020. Or maybe in all of the 2020's. Or maybe in the whole millennium. Seriously, your talent is a gift to the world. And, by the way, I use your blog to teach my Intro Psych students about depression. I am training a whole new generation to love your work!

JavysGirl8 said...

I'm so very happy!! I've missed you, Allie!! Congrats on the book and cannot wait to read it! <3

Ash B said...

Allie - I am so thankful that your life has the strength to share your mind and heart with the world. I missed your voice, thought of you and hoped you were finding "contentment", and kept your words and images in my soul and shared them with joy. So, it's with joy that I will

PUSH ALL THE BUTTONS!!!

:D
Grateful your are in the world and are in a good place.
Hugs, Ash

Unknown said...

AAAHHHHHHH! This is hands down the best news of 2020!!!

L.i.s.s.a. said...

Oh. My. God. Yes! Thank you for coming back. You have been dearly missed!

Anonymous said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH OMG YOU'RE BAAAAAAACK!!!!!!

Seriously. I needed this. The world is on fire and my home could have burned down 4 days ago and my town is rioting and armed militias are literally roaming the f'ing countryside and my nation is swan-diving into fascism and and and...but I clicked the hard button...and I LAUGHED.

I NEEDED THIS SO BAD--THANK YOU!
AND CONGRATULATIONS ON THE BOOK!!
AND I'M GLAD YOU'RE ALIVE!!!

<3 :) <3 :) <3 :) <3

kisrumpf said...

So so happy to see you back! My husband too, 2 mins after reading your announcement he preordered the book, yoohoo!

Lisa GC said...

This may be the ONLY good thing that happens in 2020.

Unknown said...

2020 sucks a little less!!! Yay yay yay!!

Deborah says...... said...

I've been looking for your return FOREVER!!!!! Soooooooooo happy!!! Thank you, Allie! I will push all the buttons, but right now I have to be an adult and go to bed. ☹

gilby722 said...

i am alot of happies right now!
also, I clicked all the buttons. Yes, even that one.
also also, if this is an extremely late April Fool's joke, hah...good one.
also also also, I preordered this years ago and have again and will continue to do so until either I die or the book arrives via magic book pixies from Mars.

fishboy said...

Actually bouncing up and down with glee. You're back! So happy!
*scampers off to pre-order book*

Deborah says...... said...

Why do my comments never show up here? Frustrating.

it me said...

THIS IS FANTASTIC NEWS AND ALSO I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE STILL DOING THINGS

TheObiBlog said...

This is me. I am at least 2% happier than I was a few days ago, before I saw this blog's update.

I mean, peace breaking out in the middle east probably is making me slightly happier than the return of Allie. But holy heck dang - the world is still a better place with this blog getting updates.

UnabashedlyIona said...

When the world needed her most... She returned... Seriously though, so excited! Pre-ordering one for me and one for my friend right away! The creatures page... HAHA, burst out laughing! I have now reached an understanding of creatures that I previously didn't have.

austincd27 said...

AHHHHH!!!!! I am so so so so so so so excited! Reading the new post, I have accomplished the following:
Laughs - many times, out loud, in my office, alone
Pushups - 10 completed, somewhat out of breath, my floor smells like pizza
Buttons - clicked obsessively
Book - ordered.

Bound and Determined said...

This news just turned 2020 around. Allie is the queen we need! I never did cancel my 2015 pre-order... just in case. Never gave up the hope!

NasrafRekcos said...

A friend just posted this link being SUPER EXCITED about your announcement, also explaining your fist book being the best thing ever written, until now? So after reading your marketing thingie above I can understand why. Well played Allie!

Zabster said...

I can't wait! I've already ordered

From my local INDIE bookstore.

Hoooooooooooray!

Shaun P. said...

Finally some good news.

Crystal said...

Thanks for taking the time to write us another book! I had heard you had some difficult times, and I'm sure myself and others are just so happy to hear you are creating again. You are a very talented storyteller and have done so much to help with mental health issues and just overall seeing the humor in even the worst situations. I'm looking forward to reading the new book and seeing what else you come up with!

anonymic said...

I'm glad you have a new book. I can't afford it these days, but I hope it finds its way to a lot of people. I wish you were still doing online things in your wonderful way, still. But I'm also glad that not doing those online things maybe helps you more than doing them. It is hard to have expectations and harder to have other's expectations. It isn't good for you. You disappeared for so long and I know some people worried about you and checked in to see if there was any motion here, because I did those things. You touched a lot of people and I can't be the only one who did them. You sound more okay than you did years ago, and I know that can change, but I hope feeling more okay than usual lasts as long as possible and if it doesn't I hope it comes around a little faster next time.

Love =-)

bfgobrien said...

I'm so excited for this!!! I was really sad when Hyperbole and a Half went without an update for so long and the publication date for the second book kept changing. I had lost hope. My daughter is now old enough for me to share your work with her and I'm really looking forward to the new stories.

Also, thank you for your kindness at your book talk in Seattle ages ago, as well as for the sketch of my one-eyed pug Tulip.

Cody Half-Moon said...

This is the content that 2020 needed.

intelliwench said...

Happy Day -- and that makes my Christmas Shopping so much easier.

Anonymous said...

I needed this today. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Debster4900 said...

Yay! Push All the Buttons!! Can’t wait to read! :)

PhilosopherQueen said...

I AM SO RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY RIGHT NOW!!!

Nessa said...

Hugs, so glad to see this!

JanaE said...

Going to admit that I never finished reading your first book...
Not because I didn’t love it, but because I loved it so much that I didn’t want to get to the end, and sometimes I’m a weirdo that way.
Thank you so much for writing another book- now I can finally go finish reading...

Cherie said...

i remember stumbling across Hyperbole and a Half as a freshman in high school, and am now a junior in college. this book has been by my side through so many good and bad things and i am so grateful that it exists. thank you Allie, for everything and everything you are. i hope you are good.

Project Rabbit said...

I don't know how I missed the original release of your first book, but out of the blue I was alerted to it and promptly bought a copy THIS YEAR. Only just started to read it..... because PROCRASTINATION! I started going down a rabbit hole of "Naw, wonder where she is now.." to THIS! I will have to impatiently wait until I can access a copy in Australia.

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