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Announcement

 

Hello. 


This is an announcement. 


Out of all the places I could have put an announcement, I will admit that it probably doesn't make the most logistical sense to put it here. 


If I'd had the opportunity to put it somewhere that makes more sense for announcing things, such as Facebook or Twitter, I promise you I would have done that. However—and please don't become too distracted by this—but the vast majority of my social media accounts were hacked sometime back by an extremely persistent individual or entity whom I have thus far been unsuccessful at defeating, so I do not currently have anywhere else to put this. 


Moving on. 


As we discussed, there is an announcement. Soon it will be upon us. But first, a warm-up announcement: 



I told you this because I thought it might lend some credibility to the actual announcement, which is that I wrote a second book. For real this time. The book is finished. It has 518 pages. There is no going back at this point. There's a super official book page and everything. 


As is tradition, a variety of ordering experiences are available.


For example, if you wish to be taken directly to the book page with no extra fanfare, please click the regular button:



If you wish to use a larger button to go directly to the book page, please click the big button: 



If you wish to have a more difficult experience, the hard button is for you: 



If you do not wish to interact with the book any further, please follow this button to safety: 



If you want to feel slightly weirder than you currently do before visiting the book page, please click here: 



If you wish for me to apologize for writing the book and/or for the bird collage, that option is also available:



If you just want to click a bunch of buttons, please go here: 



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Okay. The announcement is complete. We may now proceed to the bonus phase. 


Perhaps this event was not promotional enough for you. Perhaps you wish to be subjected to a truly unnecessary level of marketing both related and unrelated to my book. Perhaps you simply wish to experience the future in whatever form it takes. If this is the case, I have great news for you: 


I recently learned how to use Instagram, and over the next several days, I intend to explore the limits of its potential, possibly even discovering new ways of using it. I will be relentless, and you will regret becoming involved, but you do have the opportunity to become involved if you wish. It's also completely possible that I decide against this and just post extreme close-ups of my belly button. Or something else could happen. One can never know these things. 



Thank you for your time and patience. I hope you can find it in your hearts to still respect me after this. 


-Allie


267 comments:

  1. I AM THE MOST EXCITED I HAVE EVER BEEN!!!!

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  2. This is great - glad to see more material!

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  3. Love you and still Respect you. So excited for the book!

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  4. Aaaaaa!!! Congrats, can’t wait to read it!

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  5. Congrats!!!! I’m super stoked to read it!

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  6. woohoo! welcome back! i’m going to press ALL the BUTTONS!

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  7. I really think this is THE best news of 2020.
    Loved your blog, loved your book (I was REALLY surprised it got translated and local released here in Brazil!! Never thought you had other fans here). Miss your stories alot!
    If you wish to follow back on instagram: @himynameisv_fox

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  8. Oh my goodness. I subscribed to this blog ages ago, just in case. But I never felt really sure that you'd ever actually post again. My jaw dropped and my eyes bugged out of my head when I saw a post on the feed!

    Congratulations on the book!

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  9. I, out of the blue, shared your Alot comic on Facebook a few hours ago... was regaling the internet youth the tales of a young and wild internet, where you reigned Queen... only to see that I had shared that comic at the same time you were writing this post.

    Just wanted to drop you a line to let you know that your humor inspired my love of grammar, and your candor about depression helped me through MY depression immensely. I would even go so far as to say that I am still here, on this earth, because of you.

    So, like, thanks. I look forward to the book.

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  10. Awesome!!! So cool to see this pop up in my RSS feed after so long!

    working my way through the hard button...

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  11. Yessss!! Thank you so much, I can’t wait to read it. Your material has helped me educate my husband on my depression and I’m forever grateful for your work.

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  12. Bay: I believe you. Because of the caps.

    Jessica: Thank you for still respecting me!

    pdwalker: Did you really press all of them?

    Fox: You know what? I'm actually going to do it. I'm going to follow you. I follow 19 people now!

    NoriMori and Anonymous: Thank you! I very much appreciate the folks who have stuck with me even when I didn't say anything for years and years and years.

    gbd_628: I'm just glad RSS feeds still work! I was unsure.

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    1. Randomly my sister and I were telling our other sister about Stupid Dog yesterday and I decided to come on over and get the link to share with her. I am pleasantly surprised to see you!! And super excited that you are doing well and have a book coming out. I clicked on a random button that took me to your Instagram and so I immediately followed you there. Congratulations on your book! I’m so ready for your sense of humor.

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    2. It is so good to hear that you're still around. You have been instrumental in helping me figure out how depressed I was, that it's something that can be dealt with, that I'm not alone. You lifted my spirits in dark times and helped them soar in bright times.

      Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the monumental risk of putting yourself out there and Being Seen. I can't express how glad I am to have experienced your work.

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    3. Have been wondering how you have been doing for the last little while. So happy you have resurfaced and in such a big way!

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  13. It's my birthday, opened up my RSS feed while putting my daughters down to sleep and saw a post. Fantastic birthday present. Thank you!

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  14. I have visited your Instagram and can confirm you are using it correctly. (Welcome back. I've missed you.)

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  15. I have rarely been so excited to see a post in my RSS reader. Congrats on the new book, can't wait to have it in my grubby hands!

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  16. This is fantastic and I am so happy for you Allie!

    BTW I've had this book preordered since 2016 and my open preorder is still open and by heck I can't wait to finally give you my money.

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  17. 2020 is now officially the best year. Sure, some trivial stuff went wrong early on, but all that silliness was outshone by this announcement.

    Thanks for being who and how you are.

    This book will be the second book I'll have bought in the past decade.

    The first was your first book.

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  18. I'm glad you're still posting, and good for you for the book!

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  19. I was holding out on reading your last book until there was another one released. As a sort of weird magic box of boundless possibility. Just sitting on my shelf looking at me in the face every day getting dusty, then clean, then dusty, then clean. So I guess I just wanted to say I'm glad this is coming out now. <3

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  20. Well you just saved 2020 hooray!! Ecstatic to see this and my copy of your book has been on advance order pretty much forever. ❤️❤️

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  21. Glad to see this pop up in my RSS reader! Congratulations on the new book.

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  22. Of all the things I expected from 2020, the revival of Hyperbole and a Half was not one of them, but great balls of fire, you just proved that there's still hope left in the world after all. Take care.

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  23. I'm so glad you posted it here because I still get blog post notifications! Congrats on the second book!

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  24. I have now subscribed to your insta and preordered. Thank you for announcing here!

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  25. I have been waiting for this day for 7 years. I agree it is the best news of 2020. Pre-ordered, followed, all the love.

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  26. I've been visiting this page once a day since 2013, waiting for this day. I thought that the Pokémon Snap 2 announcement was going to be the only good news of 2020, but this is the best news of this or many other previous years. Much love, Allie, and good to hear from you again.

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  27. I migrated my RSS feed of this blog through different services and kept it on the list... just in case. Pre-ordered, best wishes, positive thoughts. It's like a light going on in a night of endless snow.

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  28. I found your blog years ago when I was trying to make sense of my depression. I ended up binging on the whole damn thing because you gave me some much-needed laughs, and I introduced my son to it. Tonight he returned the favor and told me about this post/announcement. I certainly didn't expect to hear from you via this blog, but am very glad I did. Yes, I still respect you. Congratulations on your new book, I will definitely be pre-ordering!

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  29. I never cancelled my pre order I made back in 2015. I'm glad I never gave up.

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  30. Yes! Pre-order all the books! Click all the buttons! This moves 2020 from worst year ever to maybe maybe like 3rd worst or maybe even 4th.

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  31. Happy to see a hyperbole post show up in my RSS feed after all this time. Will need to push buttons tomorrow!

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  32. BEST WAY TO START MY DAY!!!!

    Thank you, Allie, hope to hear and see more about you and your work! ^^

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  33. I want to give you money but no international shipping options. I guess I'll nag my wife about reading the previous book while I wait.

    And thank you so much, this day got off to an incredible start with this announcement. And I clicked many buttons.

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  34. HECK YEAH. Buttons were frantically pushed until the preorder happened.

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  35. So many thoughtful button options!!! *delight* Congratulations on your book!

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  36. Oh no. Does this mean I'll have to create an Instagram account now?

    (super excited about the book 🙂)

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  37. Best thing that's happened this year! Congratulations and so good to see you in my rss feed again!

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  38. This is extremely good. We missed you!

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  39. Thank you for the hard button 😁 When I saw it I knew I would go through there and it was definitely worth it.

    Looking forward to getting the book, I was scared for a bit that it'll be only an ebook when I clicked Google Play but it seems to be available as hardcover on Amazon 😊

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  40. Thank you! Playing with buttons now...

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  41. It's been a rough couple of weeks. Seeing this post cheered me up quite a bit

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  42. Allie,

    The giantbulgingmandolphin link is broken. I has a sad. :(

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  43. I AM SO EXCITED! And, I already pre-ordered it last week. So, YAY!

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  44. Looking forward to it! Your gifted communication and humor is a shining light in a sometimes dark world. You've done a ton of good with it and I can't wait to see where you go next!

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  45. I CLICKED ALL THE BUTTONS. I was too excited to choose. Had to experience them all. SO EXCITED.

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  46. I love you. Really. Not in a weird or sexual way. I just love you.

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  47. Preordered immediately. It could be your phone book and I’d buy it, Allie.

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  48. YAY!!! Welcome back, Allie! You were definitely missed.

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  49. Allie, I appreciate your work so much, and I understand that you can't always share your brain with us. I'm glad that it's time to learn what's happening with you and laugh and probably cry. And now excuse me but I need to go pay a company some money so you can have some of it.

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  50. I still get email updates about your blog, so waking up to a notification was a pleasant surprise!

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  51. I'm so terribly glad you're back, and can't wait to snuggle this new book up next to your other one :D (and read it. yea. definitely that.)

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  52. I'm excited about this, but am I mistaken, or are there no options to pre-order from outside the US (apart possibly for Amazon, I didn't check)?

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    1. Check your local booksellers. I preordered from a New Zealand site.

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  53. OMG! You're back! I hope you're good and happy and stable and all the things. Really. Much love to you (from someone who has been diagnosed with general anxiety during your long absence)

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  54. THANK YOU for the belly laughs this morning! I needed them. I've preordered and I'm so excited to have this book soon.

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  55. I'm super excited about all of this. I come here occasionally to see if there are updates, so this is a big win. I will you well and can't wait for the book.

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  56. Ordered the book immediately, then went back to press all the buttons. This made my morning, thank you!

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  57. ALL HAIL ALLIE, QUEEN OF THE INTERNET! SHE HAS RETURNED FROM A 4 YEAR LONG CAMPAIGN TO SORT HER LIFE OUT!!! ALL HAIL ALLIE THE BEARER OF BRUCE, ALL HAIL!!!!!

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  58. Holy motherforking shirtballs.

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  59. BEST DAY EVER. WELCOME BACK!!!!!!

    I've followed you on IG. Feel free to follow me back if you like to look at pretty paintings. Or not. Whatever floats your boat. @foxfiregalleries

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  60. So glad to hear from you again! Hope you're doing well, and I'm def looking forward to that book!

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  61. Omg Allie!! I just got the e-mail notification of this and pretty much yelled HYPERBOLE AND A HALF IS BACK!!!! to my husband. Oh yes, we got married since I last commented on one of your posts ��
    Super excited to see you back and super can't wait to read this! I hope you get all the money from it. I'm gonna go tell everyone you're baaaaack!

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  62. A NEW BLOG POST FROM ALLIE! YAAAAAYYYY!!!!! /kermitflail.gif

    Also, my local independent bookstore just Tweeted about a virtual book tour event with Allie! YAAAAAYYYY!!! /takemymoney.gif

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  63. Thank you so much for this. I can't imagine the work and thought you have put into this book over the past seven years. Your first book was one of the first steps out of a serious depression--I laughed so hard I was in pain. I don't know that I have ever looked forward to a new book as much as I do this one. Just submitted the pre-order. Thank you!

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  64. Also, you are the first and only person to actually get me to do pushups in years.
    Is there any way for us Canucks to pre-order your book?

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  65. Just wanted to drop in and say I saw the announcement. I'm glad to see you using your blog again and congrats on the new book.

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  66. 1: You are AWESOME.
    2: I pressed the weird button, because I ALWAYS PRESS THE WEIRD BUTTON.
    3: Ordered. :)

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  67. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. Welcome back, Allie. Glad to know you've been creating. One of my professors suggested your book awhile back when I went through a horrible low in grad school. She said to try and find some humor in misery, that things may not entirely be all hopeless bullshit haha! Thank you for your work - your experiences helped me embrace our shared humanity and truly resonated with me, and probably several others, without you knowing or intending to. Looking forward to this new adventure!

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    2. Google hates me. I hope this doesn't get "removed by the author" again. Womp. I'll try using your Cloud service, Google, geesh. Microsoft just Office365 + apps, ok? Silicon Valley, man. They find you.

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  68. Finally, some good news. Thank you for being a beacon (button?) of hope in this absolute nightmare world.

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  69. This is the best news I could have hoped for in the midst of a global pandemic.

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  70. This is the best news!! Thank you for single-handedly redeeming 2020. Welcome back Allie!

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  71. I've missed you so much!

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  72. Goodness gracious!! I looked at my booksellers and thought "I wonder if Allie had posted recently" and THERE IT IS!! I'm so excited to read the second book!

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  73. I'm on my 3rd RSS feed aggregator since I first subscribed to your blog, and I"m so very happy I stayed subscribed. I gave my daughter the die-cut notecards and "Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened" paperback for Christmas. She cried. She hugged me and said she didn't realize I understood.

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  74. You are unquestionably the best thing I did not have on my 2020 bingo card. Congrats on the new book! I am super-excited to read it, super-excited that you are writing and drawing again, and super grateful for both. You were missed & much thought of.

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  75. Thank goodness for RSS feeds that still work in this hellish year!

    And so excited for both the book and the Instagram content that will be coming our way!

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  76. No, this was the *best* place for this announcement. In fact it was the only place for this announcement. It came in my RSS feed, so I actually saw it. I don't follow any of those other places, so I would not have seen it, then I wouldn't have known to be sad because I was missing the book. As it was, RSS is your friend, and I was sucked into the pre-order vortex. Soon Hyperbole and a Half will no longer be lonely on my shelf.

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  77. Yup, I also saw this through my RSS feed. Such awesome news, and totally unexpected too! You just saved 2020. :)
    (PS I totally did the hard button, cos I'm cool that way.)

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  78. YAY! just preordered :D So glad to see you back again! Hope you are doing well :)

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  79. Yay! Am happy you have posted, happier still for new book! Yay!

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  80. There is something in the ether, because you literally just came up in conversation and I wondered aloud how you were doing. Please excuse me while I go and press all the buttons.

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  81. Thrilled about your book (preordered) but mostly thrilled just to hear your voice. Glad to know you’re out there being creative. Thanks for sharing yourself with us.

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  82. Already preordered! So excited!

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  83. I pre-ordered the other day! I'm so excited!!!!

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  84. This is the very reason I've continued to follow you all these years.

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  85. This is amazing! Welcome back, Allie! I can't wait to purchase your new book. Wishing you a lot of health, happiness and Alots! :D

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  86. This seriously could not come at a better time. I can't wait to read it and I hope you're doing well.

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  87. Welcome back, lady. You have been sorely missed.

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  88. Sooo... I needed something to cheer me up and wanted something to put positive thoughts in my head so I could sleep. So, I was like... I should go to Hyperbole... always cheers me up. And of all the days to come here, just randomly, I am very it was today. Now I can't sleep because I am excited about the book.... Still a win :)

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  89. I'm so happy to hear this! Glad you're back, you've been missed!

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  90. Seven friggin years of habitually checking and finally an update. Naturally it's a plea for money. Yup, it's Allie.

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  91. So so happy that you are back! *pushes buttons happily*
    Also, if you decide what the proper way to use Instagram is, do let me in on the secret. I mostly just post pictures of my kitten but it’s possible that there is other stuff you’re supposed to do.

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  92. Yessssss, so happy to hear from you! Welcome back! I'm now going to aggressively push all the buttons I can find.

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  93. I'm so excited I had to push all the buttons!!! And of course pre-order! :D

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  94. Eeeeeeeeeeeee :D

    Glad to have this sign of life, looking forward to reading the book!

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  95. I am glad that to see that, like me, you are still maintaining basic levels of functioning and living

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  96. You've given me something exciting to look forward to in an otherwise miserable 2020. THANK YOU!!!

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  97. Sebastian (From Canada)September 5, 2020 at 1:45 PM

    I was so fricken excited to see this. My goodness I never thought you'd be back. Buying this for SURE!

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  98. I am so extremely happy Allie and well done for getting this book done, I can't wait to read it!!!

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  99. I am super excited but primarily I am super excited for YOU! *all the hugs and everything*

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  100. And to think I knew you - from reading this blog, of course - before you were a world-famous author!

    Looking forward to reading about All The Things.

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  101. My daughter, 8, found your book while stuck at home during the last 6 months and asked if she could read it. It had been at least a couple of years since I had read it, so thinking that it was just another comic or graphic type book, I said sure. My husband has a better memory for these things and was surprised I let her read it. However, she enjoyed the parts she understood and quotes simple dog quite often now, so no harm done (??). Looking forward to reading the new book!

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  102. Breaking News: "Blogger Platform Scoops Other Social Media Sites" - as if 2020 couldn't get weirder!

    Congratulations! Off to push buttons...

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  103. I was just thinking to myself, "In trying times like these, the world needs Allie Brosh more than ever." So happy the book will be out soon :)

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  104. This is truly the greatest thing to find out in this vast unscooped litter box of a year. I have thought of you often and wondered how you were doing and I give you the biggest of virtual appropriately socially distanced and 'not weirdly menacing on account of I'm a stranger' hugs.

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  105. It’s really happening. It’s really actually happening. Best birthday present ever.

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  106. Well this is awkward, haven't been here in such a long time XD goodluck with the book!

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  107. OHMYGOD I have been waiting for this announcement FOR-FREAKING-EVERRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

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  108. oH MY GOD YOU'RE ALIVE WHAT

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  109. My heart is hammering in my chest. I'm not joking, I just pre-ordered a quantity of two (2) of your second book. One for my daughter, and the other for myself. OMG, I am thrilled to see you "back". THRILLED I TELL YOU! So much has happened here too. Heartache laced with the bittersweet. But somehow one foot seems to find its way in front of the other as if on auto-pilot. Huge congratulations to you Allie, on the publishing of your second book. You are a godsend. Your work gives me reason. That's all I'm gonna say at this time. CONGRATULATIONS and THANK YOU!

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  110. It’s just so good to see you here again. There would be a possibly more appropriate place to put this. I hope you’re well in all interactions of that word.

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  111. I dont know how many times over the last few years I have hoped to see an update. I am so sorry someone is attacking your social media, but I am so glad to see that you are still alive!

    And you spoil us with what is one of the funniest blog updates I have seen in a long time. So many buttons, perfectly tailored to each mood and or need of the reader.

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  112. Nikki Benz: Porn star sues Brazzers over alleged sexual assault in unscripted scene:
    Porn Sex Collection & Hottest Naked Women Sex Ms Benz, whose real name is Alla Montchak, alleges she was “struck on the face, head and breasts hard enough to cause her to bleed” on a shoot which took place...
    Porn Sex Collection & Hottest Naked Women Sex
    Porn Sex Collection & Hottest Naked Women Sex
    Porn Sex Collection & Hottest Naked Women Sex
    Porn Sex Collection & Hottest Naked Women Sex

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  113. Allie: I did. And I will soon have the picture to prove it.

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  114. Joke’s on me, I preordered weeks ago. Now I don’t get to try these amazing buttons! Maybe I’ll learn from my mistakes for book three!

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  115. Oh how I have missed your humor!!!! So thrilled you are back

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  116. Holy crap! I just randomly decided to check in on the page, to see this was an AWESOME surprise. WOOO!

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  117. IM GOING TO CRY!!!!! I'm so happy!!! I just pre ordered the book and my nose is slammed up against my window waiting!!!!

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  118. At least once a month I think "Gosh, I hope Allie Brosh is doing okay." I'm so happy you're making art again (I'm referring, of course, to your cashew posts on Instagram)! And I hope you're well. You bet I'm preordering your book!

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  119. I literally reread your blog in August, and hoped that you were ok and that (secondarily, I swear!) you would someday come back and write some more. I can not tell you how happy this announcement makes me. I have been unhappy, Alot, lately. Also, I have been unhappy a lot lately, and I need more humor in my life. So good to "see" you again!

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  120. OMG this is so amazing! You're a bright spot in this otherwise bleak year, Allie!

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  121. You have single handedly saved 2020

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  122. YAY! I'm so glad to see that you are still draw/writing! I hope the good feels come through the comment :) <3

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  123. When an update for Hyperbole and a Half showed up in my blog reader, it took my breath away... I'm SO excited and will immediately share to FB... SO SO happy to get this news!!!

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  124. Wow, I made it all the way here.

    My very good friend dashed ecstatically into Discord exclaiming that you had posted again, and was quite honestly shocked to find that I had never heard of Hyperbole and a Half or Allie Brosh. My friend linked me to one of your posts and I knew I had to read the entire blog. In correct, chronological order from 2009, of course.

    It took me three days - you can possibly trace my progress by the trail of comments, although they're all stuck in moderation. It seems like this post has captcha instead of moderation but all the old posts still have moderation, so you probably don't look at comments in moderation any more. But you could. Unless you can't for some reason and they're just stuck in the void until Blogspot is no more and their servers go down.

    You are very funny. I hope you're doing well these days.

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  125. oh I am so scamperingly excited I scared my cats. I may also have pre-ordered your book several times. Or several months ago. One of those. Or possibly both.

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  126. SEVEN YEARS, gurl. You're officially in the George RR Martin League.

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  127. I sincerely hope you get money for every button click, considering you took the effort to make so many.
    I'm so happy to hear from you. <3

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  129. I am so glad to see you are back and I will buy your book. I love your work. I hope you are well and I wish you the best!

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  130. I'm so glad to hear from you. And I'll be buying that book as soon as I can :) Although - do you know when it might make it to Australia?

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  131. I am so excited! I want to say, "This is the best thing to happen this year!" but that feels a lot like saying, "You smell better than this alley full of garbage where drunk people always pee!" How about this: I am so so happy you got to finish this book and share it with us. THANK YOU!!

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  132. I had your book on preorder for a couple of years until Amazon said it wasn't coming out until 2031. LOL Pre-ordered it again once the date was sooner. Looking forward to it.

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  133. I'm so excited for you I could pop. Also, this is a brilliant way of generating more interaction with your site. You're a genius! And it was all so much fun!

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  134. I randomly felt like checking your blog and NOW LOOK AT HOW I AM REWARDED you are a wonderful person

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  135. It's a little after 3 in the morning here, and as has become the custom for this time of day, I'm on my computer. (Internet! Forever...) I thought to myself: "You know what I haven't visited in a couple months? Hyperbole and a Half. I'm in the mood to reread some of Allie's adventures for the hundredth time. I sure hope Allie is doing okay, but I understand wanting to stay out of the public eye. Anyway, let's start with the classic post about the IQ test for her adorable mentally challenged dog."

    I reread the post; it hit the spot. I started scrolling back up to take it in again. That's when I noticed, off to the side, under "BLOG ARCHIVE": the year 2020 is listed? With a post from that year?! That can't be right...

    It was a new post! Announcing that the next book had been COMPLETED!!

    This made my night. Preordered!

    <3

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  136. I pre-ordered your book as soon as it was officially announced!

    Thank you for coming back to us. We've both missed and needed you.

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  137. Allie, I am so incredibly proud of and happy and excited for you.

    I lent my copy of HaaH out two days ago (before reading this announcement), prefaced by: "In place of writing a proper eulogy seeking virtues amongst my many flaws, I would want someone to select and read a story from this book."

    Thank you, truly. I so badly needed this, especially right now.

    You're a talented and compassionate individual. Sometimes life feels awful, but don't you ever fucking change.

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  138. Oh, also, super pumped for the new book. I intend to buy enough copies to fill an entire shitty Ikea bookshelf. I had meant to include this in my previous post, but my editing plans were foiled by that sneaky anon button (and my accursed ADHD brain).

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  139. Whatever you've written will be well worth the wait. Hey, that's a lot of Ws!

    My preorder is in for two copies. I know it's only September 10 and it comes out the 22nd, but why isn't it here already?!??!?!

    Probably creepy to send caring thoughts to someone I've never met, but no fears, I'm old enough to be your grannie and don't drive a van.

    Seriously: thank you, and congratu-freakin-lations.

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  140. YAY!!!!!!!!

    Super excited! Hope you are well and out of the path of wildfires.

    (Seriously love your work, Allie. I always look for your pain scale in doctor's offices. Among other things. Made my therapist read about the corn, and other stuff. Really looking forward to the BOOK!)

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  141. Add me to the choir of voices who are singing your praises for giving us this joyous announcement of another book to look forward to in the otherwise totally craptastic year of 2020. And it’s coming soon! YAY!!!!

    Seriously, Allie. We love you. I hope you know that.

    Also seriously, I PUSHED ALL THE BUTTONS!!

    Every.
    Single.
    One.

    I even pushed the red buttons, which you implied I shouldn’t push, but I did anyway and it gave me bigger red buttons to look at.

    As I was getting to the end of the list in the button room, the word “one” began to look very odd to me. Almost unnatural...

    However, what’s not unnatural is my family’s love of your books. My husband and I have enjoyed your comics for years, and it’s been such a delight sharing them with my daughters, once they became old enough not take things so literally. Although, how old do you really need to be to understand that CAKE IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!

    So happy to see you here again! :)

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  142. Gosh, this is hysterical. Congratulations on your new book! I'm off to push ALL THE BUTTONS.

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  143. YOU'RE STILL ALIVE! I DIDN'T KNOW!

    cake

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  144. I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE BACK. We’ve needed you. And also I hope you’re well!

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  145. Thank you. It is amazing what a little piece of unexpected good news can do. Just something, a little something, that speaks against the current of everything being terrible.

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  146. Glad you’re back, Allie! Can’t wait to get the new book, the first one was stellar!

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  147. Welcome back to the Internet! We've missed you so much!

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  148. I went to your page on a lark, and i am HAPPILY SHOCKED by this update. I"m so glad you're back, and I hope you're doing well, and I CAN NOT WAIT to read this new, different book.

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  149. Thank you. This is the best thing to happen on this dumpster fuck of a year, and I am almost tearfully overjoyed that you're back.

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  150. Yay! This is the best news ever. Congrats! And thank you for all of the buttons, I thoroughly enjoyed clicking them all!

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  151. This is soooo exciting! I can't wait to read it! Will you be writing more on the blog again? :)

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  152. What about the "I bought your book and just miss you" button?

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  153. So super, duper excited!

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  154. Just came back to let you know that after I read this, it put me in such a good mood, I tackled an organizational task I'd been putting off for YEARS. I started in the afternoon, and finished at 2 a.m.
    I don't want you to feel burdened by people like me who are positively influenced by you, but I hope knowing that you just being you is already enough to do this, and we appreciate it! It's nice to hear from someone else's brain who thinks alike :)

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  155. Super exciting news! Am looking forward so much to getting this book! Congratulations! And some extra exclamation marks just because this is all so wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  156. I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE THIS POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  157. This has made me smile today. So glad you are back!

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  158. UNBELIEVABLE!! I can live again. We missed you! 2020 needs you right now!!! Here’s a few more of these!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  159. This has made my evening complete!!! Thank you for being back at just the right time!!

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  160. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

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  161. FINALLY something good to happen in 2020!! Yahooooooo!!!! Thank you so much. I can't wait to get my copy - I am SOOOOOOOO excited!

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  162. ALLIE'SBACKALLIE'SBACKALLIE'SBACK!!! I'm beyond delighted! Hugs and thanks in advance for the book!!

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  163. I drank coffee out of my confused dog coffee cup this morning. It is a good thing that I didn't see this announcement while drinking because confused dog might have been more confused when I sprayed coffee all over him as I yelled for joy when reading it. Welcome back!!!

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  164. Holy crap! I ordered the book immediately AND I clicked ALL THE BUTTONS just in case you get extra credit or something! But I cheated, cuz I couldn't wait a million seconds.
    I missed you!! Not like in a creepy stalker way, though. Promise. Thank you for coming back. This is a fantastic thing to happen in what has been an otherwise craptastic (so far) year.

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  165. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF THIS SHITTY, SHITTY YEAR.
    Seriously, all the love and I am thrilled to see that you are back, in some way.

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  166. Oh my gosh. We have missed you so much!! Welcome back and thank you for being the one positive thing to come out of 2020.

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  167. I am in TEARS!!!! I AM SO HAPPY YOU'VE RETURNED AS PROPHESIED!!!!! :D my son and I have missed you! (And I hope you understand that I've now promised a 10 year old that we're naming our first dog Simple Dog)

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  168. Holy cow!!!! Welcome back!! I am so glad to know you are still creating things and you are kind enough to share them with us!!! Yay!!!!!!

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  169. I am in TEARS!!!! I AM SO HAPPY YOU'VE RETURNED AS PROPHESIED!!!!! :D my son and I have missed you! (And I hope you understand that I've now promised a 10 year old that we're naming our first dog Simple Dog)

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  170. This is the best thing to happen all year! Welcome back!!

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  171. It's only been 32minutes and I am SO at the bottom of the pile! I am clicking ALL of the buttons and ordering the book!

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  172. I love you so fuckin much! Im so happy you're back! I am slightly less hopeless about the future of humanity!

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  173. I almost cried when I saw this! Every now and then I check back and google you. So happy and just preordered the book!

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  174. Allie. Recently started a new job. Yay-during a pandemic. My life has been 1 long big fat 8 hour panic attack at a time (followed by endless hours spinning and lying awake anxiety stricken in anticipation of the next shift I work during an 8 hour long panic attack). I have been living in survival mode, on edge, and on an adrenaline rush since I began nearly a month ago.
    I found out just before starting said job you were releasing a new book and was flooded by beloved memories of laughing my ass off and brighter days while reading Hyperbole and a Half. Now that I've been on this exhausting, at times debilitating, Rollercoaster ride of a new job, your book release date is giving me a desperately needed positive boost and something to very much look forward to. Maybe it will even help chill out the nerves and allow me to poke fun at my ridiculous anxious self and remember to laugh again. So excited! So good to see you back at writing again!! Thank you for what you do.

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  175. Allie, Allie

    I clicked ALL the things!

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  176. Clearly a flock of geese (lead by a frost-face window demon) infiltrated your home and stole your content, and have been running amok ever since. Welcome back! May the spirit of Kenny Loggins and a kernel of corn compel you!

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  177. Definitely as a result of my overall mental health at the moment, this made me cry.

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I'm super creepy and totally capable of finding you