Pages

:D

Guess what?

...


I'm writing a book. With pages!


And there will be pictures on the pages. And words. And maybe the pages will be really aerodynamic or something. I haven't really decided what all of the hi-tech features are going to be yet. It's tough to choose.


Anyway, I've been wanting to tell you guys about this for a very, very long time, and now I finally can!

Touchstone (a division of Simon & Schuster) will tentatively release my book in Fall 2012, which sounds like it's a long time away, but really, it's only the gestation period of two slightly premature babies. And if you're a time-traveler, then it can be as soon as you want it to be. It can be now!

If you're not a time traveler, here are some helpful time-frame comparisons to make the book's publication date seem not as far away:


So really, it isn't actually that far away.  And I'll keep updating here in the meantime.  

The book will contain roughly 50% new material.  The other 50% will be posts I've published on this site already, but some of the posts that did not previously contain illustrations will be illustrated.  It will be basically just like my blog in book-form (illustrated short stories, guides, etc.), but it will have at least an attempt at an organizational structure, probably.  

There isn't really an appropriately climactic way to end this announcement, so here's a picture of some shapes:

1,190 comments:

  1. HURRAY! I has an excite.

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  2. I'm going to start my meat digestion RIGHT NOW, to help speed up the process!

    Yay!!!

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  3. You should put a can of peaches on the shelf, and open it when it comes out. For Science!

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  4. DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE. Sweet. <3

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  5. And where might I be able to buy all of the copies?

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  6. Yay!!!! I'm excited for the book!

    Thanks for keeping us updated =)

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  7. I'm going to buy two copies! One for me and one for the coffee table to show it off to everyone!

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  8. consider mine pre ordered!

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  9. SO EXCITED. Also, thought I'd be the first commenter, but apparently several people commented between my loading the page and my clicking "comment." Sadface.

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  10. Rock on! I knew you'd get a book deal at some point. Congratulations!

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  11. That's fantastic! Good for you!

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  12. Heck yes!!! I can't wait! There are not enough exclamation points to properly express my excitement!

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  13. Congratulations, that is awesome!

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  14. Maybe I should commit arson or burglary and wait for the book in there. It might pass the time faster.

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  15. We're gonna need more Simple Dog material!

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  16. yayayayayyyyy i'm so buying it !!!!!! i plan site your work for my research papers. it will be my best source.

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  17. Holy crap! Congrats. I cannot WAIT!

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  18. yay! book! author! I love your writing and illustrations. if you were a mom like me, you and I would so be twins! I would be eternally grateful (like, forever) if you have time to check out my humble mommie blog of daily angst:
    http://mothersofbrothersblog.blogspot.com
    congrats on your book! you rock!
    MOV

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  19. super duper awesomesauce. congratulations!

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  20. Woooo! Looking forward to it. (also, you should petsaude someone to start growing a 14cm, and post progress reports, so we can all keep track. I'd volunteer, but I'm not beard-compatible)

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  21. *opens can of peaches* Margaret!! The peaches, they've gone bad! IT IS TIME O_O

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  22. Huzzah! I look forward to it :)

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  23. Can we buy this in the UK? Does this work for British potatoes?

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  24. cool, i'm already doing the potato experiment as you read this!

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  25. Cans of peaches have that short a shelf life? I thought those things would last longer...

    ...also: AWESOME!

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  26. auraldissonanceMay 5, 2011 at 1:42 PM

    zomg Confabulations! Glorious! A++++ FOUR pluses! Can't wait!

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  27. Incredibly excited about this.

    That is all.

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  28. Yay and please make sure we can get copies in South Africa

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  29. Congrats! 2012 is nothing. Most books being sold right now are lucky to get that for a publication date - they're well into 2013 already.

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  30. THAT SOUNDS AWESOME AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR IT TO COME OUT!

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  31. Congrats! (BTW, I'm choosing the Price discography method of biding my time.)

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  32. I AM GOING TO BUY THIS BOOK. :D

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  33. Congratulations! Just in time for Christmas 2012! I was WONDERING what to get people for that!

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  34. Time travel commences now!

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  35. I'm so happy, I may wet myself as I jump for joy! (you know, bladder issues) :)

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  36. Is the book gonna contain new stuff or all your old blog posts. PS I'm super duper excited either way :D

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  37. The time frame references will be very helpful when I'm trying to remember when it's coming out.
    Ex:
    Could I have almost cooked two whole babies in my uterus? No. Then its clearly not Fall 2012.

    I'm so excited!!!


    shockinglythesame.blogspot.com

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  38. YAYAYAY. ALLIE I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS. I NEED IT NOW. WHERE'S THE TARDIS WHEN I NEED IT?! (Tardis is a time machine, if you didn't know. xD)

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  39. Super Cool!! I can not wait...well I have to but I am excited!

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  40. I cant wait 1/43 of my life... That's entirely too long!

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  41. Woooo-hooooo! congrats!!! Cant' wait to read it!!!

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  42. Out in the UK at the same time?!?!?!?

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  43. YAY!HAPPY HAPPY! YAY!

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  44. I hope the book includes shapes, too. Those were nice.

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  45. I thought your news was going to say you're pregnant or something...and a little Allie running around is kind of a scary thought.

    Can't wait for the book though! I might actually buy this one!

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  46. This was the best possible news for me to get with a day before giant paper is due. I now have a reason to live.

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  47. sooo..either i should get pregnant & then get a potato...OR i should get a can of peaches...oh, decisions, decisions....i'm not even gonna ask the husband what he wants b/c i can already see more diapers & mashed potatoes in my future.

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  48. me wants it in Polish bookstores. plz.

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  49. I've never purchased a coffee table book, but this will be my first. I'll have to go buy a coffee table first...

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  50. Those shapes at the end really made this a good post. Without them, it was maybe a C-. But now... C+.

    Also, awesome.

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  51. I'm assuming this will be dedicated to me/our long lost love.

    Please spell my name right.

    xo

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  52. Holy waffles from above! :o

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  53. CAN NOT WAIT!

    But I will have too... wait that is....

    Hi, this is me waiting!

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  54. WOOO! Congrats, I'm so jealous!

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  55. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

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  56. Hooray! I'm going to start the potatoes now! In fact, I already have some that are sprouting, so maybe it will take four instead?

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  57. Yayz! Zomg, I'm so excited! You can tell by my incorrect additives of the letter "z."

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  58. Greatest news ever! Yeah, EVER!

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  59. Please tell me there will be pop-up pictures in it...

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  60. So I'm a time traveler, I bought it, and IT'S AWESOME

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  61. ultimate success. congratulations. you win, we win, we all win. it's a win cubed. unless you count the we all win as the sum of the first two wins, in which case I guess it would be a win squared but only if win equals 2. it's a win win.

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  62. SOOOO EXCITED!!!! Commence the potato growing!! Question: will there be spaghatta nadle in the book?

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  63. YAY! I'm so excited!!

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  64. This is very exciting. I look forward to purchasing and possibly even reading your book. ;)

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  65. What wonderful news! I'm proud to be a reader!

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  66. Yay!!! Doing the happy dance =)

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  67. CONGRATULATIONS! I mean it! I hope it will be widely successful, even if you become famous or something and Cesar Millan calls in to educate your dogs.

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  68. Yay! Imma buy the crap out of your book!!!

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  69. Awesome!!! I hope it makes its way to Mexico. I know it would be a great birthday gift for some of my friends... and myself :P

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  70. IMMA PUT YOU ON MAH COFFEE TABLE!

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  71. Brilliant!

    I am going to measure the time in potatoes

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  72. Excellent news! Congrats and I will be adding my name to the list of purchasers!

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  73. Congratulations!!!!!! That is awesome!!

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  74. AWESOME!!! I'm moving into Barnes & Noble tomorrow to get in line.

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  75. Amazing news! Congrats!

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  76. So happy for you and myself!! This is totally on my 30th and a half birthday gift wish list.

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  77. Getting my Tae Bo on STAT.

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  78. Awesome! No wonder you haven't been posting as often as you used to! Go Allie!!!! Very proud of you, even though I don't *actually* know you...I'm sure you can overlook that small detail, right?

    Anyhow.....CONGRATS!!!!

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  79. Sweet diggity-dog! Most epic book EVAR.

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  80. I'M GONNA BUY IT IMMEDIATELY.

    I knew there was a reason you weren't posting!

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  81. AWESOME

    I've been wondering why the sudden drop in new posts. Now I know why!

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  82. Best news ever! Or at least this afternoon! Way to go!

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  83. I hope you make tons of money on this -- you deserve it!

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  84. I totally called this. There's no other explination for the sudden infrequency of posts... unless perhaps Allie had lost an arm or something... But naaaaaaaah - we would have heard semething about that.

    CONGRATS ALLIE!

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  85. WEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

    can i say it again?

    WEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

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  86. HOLY BALLS this is my first post (i've been too lazy to post the other 900 times i've read your blog :P) but a real book. I now have a reason to work an make money :P
    love your work

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  87. Super excited! Congratulations!!!

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  88. next stop... animated series!

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  89. YAY!! Ok, I was having a terrible, awful day with dinosaurs-eating-my-head type of headaches, but this fixes everything. In fact, I think it means that my life is now full of sunshine and rainbows. And possibly Alot of happiness.

    <3

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  90. YES. YES. YES. BEST COLLEGE GRADUATION GIFT EVER. Well, except my parents might take me to Disneyland. BUT I will read it on the plane ride there.

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  91. Most exciting news of the week! ;-)

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  92. Totally and completely Awesome! I'm putting my potato on the shelf today!

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  93. That sounds awesome! Can't wait for the book to come out...I will definitely be picking it up!

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  94. Congratulations, Allie, that's great news for you. I'm excited already :)

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  95. AWESOME! Congratulations, Allie! Now I can add your book to my wish list for Christmas of 2012!

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  96. That's awesome news! I won't gauge the time by the length of my beard though, as I am a girl, and find it notoriously difficult to grow a beard. xx

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  97. Awesome! Congratulations!!!

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  98. I'm so SO excited about this!

    I can't wait to get my hands on your book!
    Especially considering how much I love your blog.

    Your illustrations are amazing! They're a great inspiration to me (wanting to become an illustrator) both because they're so funny and because of the way you capture expressions and movement. Also, your timing!

    I don't think I'll be able to explain how much joy I get from reading your blog (and my mom, we read it together)... so here's a heart for you: <3

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  99. Maxie - Won't you be surprised when it actually happens.


    :)

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  100. WHERE DO I SEND THE CHECK!!! HOORAY!!!

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  101. Gahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! Soooo excited!!! <33333

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  102. I've just been to the future, and now am back. SPOILER ALERT!!: The book is great. The new stuff is hilarious, of course. And I love the new illustrations. Your drawing style has matured so much. I got it autographed!

    One more thing: If at your book signing, a strange guy comes up to you babbling about time-travel, DO NOT punch him in the gut or knee him in the groin. Serious!

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  103. *Starting my Billy Blanks DVD now while pulling on my leotards* Congrats!

    Wait...I hate working out.

    *Sitting on couch in my pajamas, waiting for your book.*

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  104. best news EVER! :)

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  105. Awesome. And please, don't forget the little people when you become all big and famous-like.

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  106. literally cannot wait! :D

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  107. You forgot one time frame reference.

    The amount of time it takes one Renny to graduate from law school, study for and take the bar, get my results back, and start working at a "real job."

    I think that is the perfect amount of time because then I will be ready to read your awesome book.

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  108. The come in books now? I'm getting one.

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  109. The shapes at the end of your post make my brain work like simple dog's brain (doesn't). But there is also happiness for the book! Huzzah!

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  110. oumaigod, yes!!!!! Congrats a bunch! *tail-wagging eager retinas*

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  111. YAY!! How exciting!

    brb, going to buy potatoes.

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  112. Yay!

    I vote that your book have special features, like a "making of" section, deleted scenes, or commentary. ;)

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  113. Let us know when we can preorder!

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  114. I will buy that book.

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  115. Allie,

    This news is totally awesome, and the only thing that might make it better is if each book came with a tape of Kenny Loggins songs...

    Just sayin'....

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  116. Someone actually just asked me if there was a book... totally psyched! Love this site so much!

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  117. YES!!! YAY!!! BRILLIANT! FANTASTIC!
    CONGRATULATIONS!
    But I have to wait 4.4% of my life for this book to come out. I'll put out the potatoes now.

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  118. HOO-FREAKING-RAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! excite.excite.excite.excite.excite.

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  119. Congrats! As one published author to (tentatively) another, it's an exciting journey! Good luck with your book.

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  120. How exciting for you! Congratulations! I guess it proves that procrastination really does pay off in the end. =] Looking forward to reading it.

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  121. Sweet!! I am definitely buying one. And maybe using potatoes to count down to the day I can.(My roommates might not like a strange looking potato sitting out.)

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  122. Yay for you! Can't wait!

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  123. I could just possibly be more excited, but I don't know how! Same amount of time it takes my brother to read a book, coincidentally.

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  124. That's so far away! But I'll be holding my breath! (I wonder how many times a person can die of asphyxiation until the book is published...)

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  125. Woohoo! When can we pre-order?????

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  126. Whoa. I just got back from the future... this book totally blew my mind! You guys are going to love it! I would have brought it back but wasn't able. It is a long story involving a rocket pack and some dinosaurs... you'll see. (Oh, also, helpful tip: if you do decide to go to the future bring yuan)

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  127. I JUST GOT A POTATO!!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    I can read your book just before the end of the world!

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  128. Brilliant! Can't wait.

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  129. I already bought this book in my mind for myself and 50 of my closest friends. This will give me enough time to save up real-life dollars to buy 51 books. Yay!

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  130. This is the _best_ exercise in procrastination I've seen yet in all my years. Keep doing it =)

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  131. I've been waiting for this since the first link I followed to your blog. This is so well deserved. You are simply the funniest living comic writer and best cartoonist I know of.

    You're like the secret lovechild of PG Wodehouse and Bill Watterson. I can't wait for your book, and would be waiting in line for it even if it were simply a bound copy of your extant blog posts. 50% new stuff? Let's just say I know what I'm getting everyone for Christmas in 2012.

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  132. Oddly, my first thought upon seeing the "good news!" note on fb was, "I bet someone was smart enough to finally give that girl a book deal." Since I'm a book reviewer, I look forward to reviewing it!

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  133. OH GOD. THIS IS FANTASTIC. I NEED TO BUY THIS BOOK WHEN IT'S PUBLISHED *__*

    I NEED TO BUY A COPY FOR MY FRIENDS.
    MY MUM. (She doesn't know english, but who cares!)
    MY DOG!!!

    THIS IS TOO AWESOME.

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  134. Are you including the time it takes to rewind the Tae Bo VHS tape? Because that VHS shit is not for the impatient.

    Congratulations, Allie! Can't wait for the book!

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  135. FUCKYEA!!!!! :DDDDD

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  136. Congratulations! That's super exciting!!

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  137. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  138. Congrats!! This is so exciting! When can we start pre-ordering!

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  139. ALLIE THIS IS TOTALLY AWESOME!

    I'm super happy for you and I can't wait to see your bookbaby. I have already put my potato on the shelf.

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  140. This was about as inevitable as a potato sprouting weird white protrusions after being left on your counter for several months. Or as getting REALLY BAD indigestion if you attempt to digest 400 lbs of meat over the next 18 months. In other words - DUH - of COURSE Allie was going to publish a book, and of COURSE some big-name publisher would pick it up, and of COURSE it's going to be an enormous success and bring Allie enough riches to pay for all the medical bills of the bazillions of people who are going to eat nothing but meat for the next year and a half.

    And of COURSE I will buy it - and give copies of it as Xmas presents to everyone I know.

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  141. Awesome!! Is it going to be available in digital (legally downloadable) media for e-readers?

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  142. Congratulations! I'm thrilled to read about your news. Will there be Spaghatta Nadle? Oh, please tell me there will be Nadle.

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  143. I will stalk Amazon.com until I am able to pre-order

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  144. This is exciting! The time could also be marked as how long it will take my brother (who introduced me to this awesome blog) to brew approximately 5 batches of delicious beer! Also, is Simple Dog part hound of any sort? I have a dog who behaves similarly and is a hound, I'm pretty sure he thinks his name is Jack-you-retard!

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  145. O.M.G.

    If it has a cover too, then I'm pooping myself.

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  146. YAY! And how civilized of you to do a PAPER book!

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  147. Oh my god, that's amazing!!! Congratulations!!!
    I can't wait and if it didn't sound so patronising, I'd tell you how proud I am of you... Except that I kinda just did so I guess that makes me a big old patroniser :s

    Please update on where we can buy/preorder from :D

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!

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  148. Winning, this is what winning feels like!?

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  149. If I could, I would start walking now, and I would probably be in Idaho around the time the book was released and you could give it to me in person! :o

    ... but unfortunately I live in Europe, so I'd have to swim. :(

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  150. Allie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANNOT WAIT TO BUY THIS BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    :):):):)
    You're awesome.

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  151. This news makes me happy in daaaa pants :)

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  152. Congrats! Can't wait to read it!

    I'm going to read it Alot.

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  153. Yay! Just one question: will the book be appropriate for all ages?

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  154. Definitely predicted this circa Winter 2009, so really I'm *already* on my 3rd potato :) Still exciting for you nonetheless.. Congrats!

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  155. NO WAY!!!!! OMG!!! I'm so excited {hence the !!!} But I'm going to have to develop some hobbies to take up the time til it's out!

    CONGRATS!!!!!!!!

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  156. This is probably the best news ever.

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  157. well done. well deserved. well all around. congrats! i hope the world is still in existence when your book is published.

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  158. Awesome! I hope we can get this in the UK! =D

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  159. Nice shoutout to Albuquerque, NM! You've got fans down here, Allie, keep up the great work. You always make my day brighter. :D

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  160. I love this book announcement, Alot!

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  161. I'm so going the beard method. That's it. Not shaving again till your book releases. When my wife asks, I'll say it's your fault.

    At 14cm, I wants my book.

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I'm super creepy and totally capable of finding you