I stayed up until 6:00 AM because when I tried to go to bed, I found two spiders on my blanket and I thought maybe there were more and
maybe the entire blanket was full of spiders, so I put my blanket out in the hall and then waited for Boyfriend to wake up and go to work so I could use his sleeping bag which I arbitrarily decided was spider-proof. It seemed perfectly logical at the time.
Anyway, I woke up at ten and I thought it was
at least noon, but no. It was ten. And then I was like "Shit. I only got four hours of sleep for no reason."
And that's why I'm posting some of my drawings that I found on my computer instead of a real blog post.
I still think they're boobs.
ReplyDeleteIt's a boobcycle! But I'm sorry that you only got four hours of sleep. I would declare a war on spiders, but I think they'd win.
ReplyDeleteTotally and boobcycle. They are boobs and now a little person is riding them. Um.... what's up with all these spiders. I'm scared for you.
ReplyDeleteLol, you're quite the weirdo.
ReplyDeleteWhy did you have to wait until bf woke up to use his sleeping bag? Does he sleep in his sleeping bag?
ReplyDeleteWhen I actually do old school handwriting, I will print & capitalize not just words, but random letters inside of words.
ReplyDeleteIt's like my hand has it's own crazy font.
I took a couple of minutes to try to figure out why the little person riding the boob bike had veins coming out of their head and butt. Now I see it's the handlebar.
ReplyDeleteThat drawing has SO many levels...
Also why couldn't you take bf's sleeping bag in the night?
ReplyDeleteAlso my brother's name is Duncan but I'm pretty sure you don't live with him.
What am I? - hilarity and philosophy! Excellent :D
ReplyDeleteIn Cherokee lure, Grandmother Spider was able to bring a piece of the sun to the dark side of the world where others had failed.
ReplyDeleteSo really, they can't be all bad, right? I mean, the sun is kinda useful and stuff...
I give you props for living in a house where there are spiders. I would have slept on the porch! Of course here we have scorpions . . . and they seem to frequent porches more often than houses.
ReplyDeleteYup. Pretty sure the second "non" boob drawing looks way more scandalous than the original.
ReplyDeleteThey're boobs.
ReplyDeleteTWO spiders? Seriously? I wouldn't be able to sleep before I actually passed out from exhaustion after being awake for two days if I found TWO spiders on my blanket. Crazy.
ReplyDeleteRE: Unnecessary capitalization - I see you've met the engineers at my office.
ReplyDeleteAlso maybe I've posted this before, but it bears repeating (and is full of spiders): http://lintilla.livejournal.com/576174.html
ReplyDeleteAlso also I think last night I had a dream that you were on LiveJournal. Which was weird but oh well.
My best friend and former roommate is so terrified of spiders she doesn't even say the word. They're "spees." She regularly goes to war on them... and calls me whenever she does. She keeps a big pesticide jug (like what terminex people use) and sprays them until they're dead... all while screaming profanity-riddled insults.
ReplyDelete#3 is exactly how i feel most days. and i've said it before, i'll say it again, when I see spiders I think of Charlotte from Charlotte's Web - it helps.
ReplyDeleteAintchu in Montana? Aint that cold thar? Why are thar spiders? Why am I typing like this? Anyway. Be careful!
ReplyDeleteYou put your blanket in the hall? You really picked it up? With your BARE HANDS?
ReplyDeleteAAARRGHGGHHH!!!(necessary capitalization).
Don't you know spiders can KILL YOU?
And spiders in a sleeping bag are deadly! Have you ever tried to run away from a spider in a sleeping bag when you are in a sleeping bag?
Last night, the fan was blowing my loose hairs all over my face and so I had a NIGHTMARE about spiders crawling all over my face and in my mouth and MURDERING me. I woke up in a tizzy. The moral of this story: I feel your pain.
ReplyDelete~Amanda
To tie into your last post... Maybe there wouldn't be so many spiders if you cleaned more. But this is coming from the same person who found a dried up months old piece of banana under her piano the other day, so there might be no scientific correlation between spiders and cleaning. Really I'm just being a smartass.
ReplyDeleteyeah sleeping bags are spider proof but they are not cockroach proof. oops for you.
ReplyDeleteBoobs would be so useful if they provided transportation.
ReplyDeleteIs that Boyfriend inside the box? ;D
ReplyDeleteYou know, birds eat bugs sometimes. Maybe you should have kept the dinosaur goose around and he could have eaten all of your spiders. Of course, seeing as goose poop is bigger than spider poop (do spiders poop?) that might not be the best idea.
ReplyDeleteDear Meat Sweets,
ReplyDeleteEverybody Poops. There's even a book about it.
Yeah. They're still boobs. Hide them as much as you want. I see them! Hahaha!
ReplyDelete*ahem* Anyway, good luck with your war on spiders. I am assuming it's becoming a war, not just paranoia.
Frog.
ReplyDeleteHahahahahaha. A boobcycle. (:
ReplyDeleteI'm relatively new to your blog but let me just say your drawings really got me hooked. The boobicycle made my day!:)
ReplyDeletePs. I hate spiders.
Maybe you need to get a bird. Don't birds eat spiders?
ReplyDeleteRe: The spider thing: I was at Walmart the other day and they had what was supposed to be a bedbug proof matress pad. EW! I'd call in a HazMat team if I thought I had bedbugs -- or move.
ReplyDeletehttp://joannafesto.blogspot.com/
I don't blame you, sister. Yesterday hubby and I went out for a nice lunch and a movie. As we walked out of the theater I looked at my coat, which was over my arm, and this freaking HUGE (caps just for you) cockroach was on my coat! I screamed and threw the coat on the ground. Hubby picked it up and shook it out and the thing crawled away. For the next hour I had the heeby-jeebies!! That thing could have eaten me in one bite!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Tony. Boobcycle! It's fun to ride while eating your boobcicles!
ReplyDeleteI love your blog!!! You are one of the most funniest people I've ever met in the whole freakin' world!!!
ReplyDeleteI am totally following your blog*!
-Missy May
*I had to say Blog because if I said Following you, You would know I'm a stalker!
Get a cat. Cats don't eat spiders but they bat them around with their pointy ends and eventually kill them.
ReplyDeleteBEST COMMENT: "Boobs would be so useful if they provided transportation." - Sarah P
ReplyDeleteSO FUNNYYYYY!!!!!!
and i totally decided the other day that I want to start a boobie cult....and my friend suggested we go to a "tittie temple"....it's GENIUS. Who wants to join my cult and be one of my minions??? BOOBS4EVA!! LOLOL
Oh and allie...I TOTALLY loved that you were all like "just kidding, it's a bike" LOLOL PRICELESS!!!! I LOL'D big time on that!!!
I would be extra careful and move your bed. Like, to another room. Just in case.
ReplyDeleteAllie - There is a giant centipede in my shower right now, preventing me from getting clean. I thought to myself while I had a little stare down with him, "What Would Allie Do"? Much like wwjd, but better. Anyways, I wasn't exactly sure what your next step would be, though I imagined it involved not showering, or entering the bathroom again. I might have to pee outside in the woods much like you did with the closet skeleton... What action do you suggest?
ReplyDeleteOooh. I'm with you on the spiders. I once woke up to a spider crawling on my arm (though before I saw it I was thinking, "that feels like a spider, but it's probably just some fuzz tickling me" and then it was actually a spider. Now I always pick up my pillow before I get in bed to make sure there isn't a spider under it.
ReplyDeleteIt's actually a bike for boobs.
ReplyDeleteAnd I love spiders. Honestly. I even save them when I find them in the house, and greet them and make my house their home. Does that make me weird?? Didn't think so.
I'm getting better about spiders, but after some time spent in Africa surrounded by truly spectacular cockroaches, the mere sound of them scuttling across the floor would have me in a hotel for a week.
ReplyDeleteAnd I totally wish I could use my boobs as transportation.
I recently had something similar happen to me except my bed WAS actually full of spiders. I was about to go to sleep one night, when I saw a few tiny spiders on my blanket. I got up and looked at the foot of the bed and there were several dozen more. Then my eyes moved to the basket of freshly cleaned and folded laundry, and guess what...teaming with tiny spiders. I'm pretty sure an egg sac of baby spiders had just hatched ON my bed.
ReplyDeleteNow usually, I hate killing spiders. I will take them outside or just leave them, but there were 100 baby spiders crawling all over my bed, and I wanted to go to sleep. So I spent the next hour and a half on a spider killing rampage with some tissues. I then spent the night on my futon in the next room, and washed my sheets and vacuumed very thoroughly in the morning. It was super traumatic.
My fraternity almost used a design almost exactly that of your boob-cycle for our annual Ride for a Cure (for breast cancer research)
ReplyDeleteDamn. I told you my spider dream story on your last spider-related post and now I find it would fit much better here. That's the reward I get for reading your blog in the correct chronological order I guess.
ReplyDelete