Do Bear Chips come in sour cream and onion? If so, put me down for ten bags. And I should also thank you, because you just reminded me that I need to pick up some deodorant before I go home. Thanks!
Ben - You better buy some Yay Flakes or else YES Uncle Scary teeth.
Tony - They come in Sour Cream and Onion, Ice Cold Ranch, Exquisite Barbeque and Weasel.
Kalisa - Cheerios has successfully used that concept to market their cereal for ages! "Eat it or die of heart disease, Suckah!"
DashiellP - I know! But they'll eat your face, so be careful.
Brian - Coming right up!
Soft Nonsense - Isn't it amazing how poop jokes almost never get old. And that's basically what Activia is trying to say...
Ed - I can almost guarantee you that Uncle Scary Teeth is half naked woman. You can't see the rest of his body, but he's got tits that just won't quit.
Angie - Yeah, Activia is just so coy about the whole issue... "Oh no! I'm feeling a tad bit irregular. I can't swim today." Lady, you just need to poop is what needs to happen.
Miss Mayhem - What you need to do is keep the Bear Chips contained within the bag until Uncle Scary Teeth comes to get you. Then you release the Bear Chips on Uncle Scary Teeth and hopefully they'll all kill each other. Then you can eat your Bear Chips in peace.
You know, I think I enjoyed reading your response to other peoples' comments as much as I enjoyed the ads. I think you've got a real future in advertising. Or, I've got a brilliant idea!! You can start doing my morning show's promotional spots that run at obscure hours of the night!!!
There is something seriously fucked up with you....but I love you anyway. Now...where can I buy hammerspice, cause, you never know when you need arrows.
I finished your blog. It took me five days, but I did it. Did I do my communications plan? No. Did I write a paper about the different rhetoric of Woodrow Wilson and Barack Obama? No. Did I let my google reader build up to over 400 items? Yes. Yes I did.
All to finish your blog. And it was worth it! Though, going back in time made the whole thing a little surreal. It was like rereading Benjamin Button, but funnier and I was just happy at the end instead of sad. Except I was sad, cause now I don't have your blog to read anymore.
Anyway, at the end, I was really excited to see the link to your other blog! And it was great! And then you didn't update it a lot, and I was sad. But I was really looking forward to finding a way to deserve a drawing. But I didn't. I feel like I am missing something, and I don't feel like I can ask for a drawing (All I did was read your blog...and that was a reward itself), so I won't.
i'm also kind of retarded for you. and i've got to say, that nick fabiani just totally took the wind out of my sails, because I TOO just finished your entire blog, and am now following your secret b sides blog. fuck. and here i was, thinking i was the only creepy obsessed one.
I am so glad I found your blog. I have been following it, though will admit I haven't left a comment yet because...well...quite plainly I'm not funny and feel inferior next to the other intelligent and amusing responses.
I will bow my head in shame.
But I had to tell you that you rock and your blog makes me laugh -- the kind of well s**t I shouldn't drink things while it read it because liquid always comes out my nose kind.
So one of my friends directed me to this kidney-splitting blog of yours today. I showed it to about three other friends, and I'm sure they'll show it to their friends... well, you get where this is going. I totally decided to follow you on Twitter, and now I am scolding myself for finding yet another website that will distract me from doing important things (y'know, like paying attention in class, doing homework, and other things of the sort). So yay for that.
Oh, and I almost burst a lung laughing so hard at your blog. Just so you know.
I think 'eat it or die' came straight from my inner voice. If you don't eat that chocolate right now, you'll die. You see that bacon? Eat it or die. As you can imagine, I rarely disobey.
I was reading this blog yesterday on my laptop and my husband on the other side of the sofa started laughing his head off when I got to "Mangel" I looked over and he was reading over my shoulder and laughing so hard he was crying.
He made me go back to the start of the entry, read it all the way through with him and then he made me show him your fish story post.
That was a super fun time and it was thinks to Allie!
Also Husband was wondering if Mangel made your hair grow back, and I can't sleep because of Mr. Scary Teeth
Today I discovered your blog. I've been sick for three weeks (five months, if I'm totally honest) and no doctor I've been to can tell me what's wrong. You have made my day, and possibly my week, as I will be reading for a long time. Thank you so much!!!
Found this on Reddit today. And just in time for the death of Jesus! Yay? Either way, just thought I'd let you know. Awesome site. I read posts for like 3 hours yesterday. Kept me up till the wee hours of the morn. Yeah, I say morn. Boyfriend is one lucky nerd.
I'm eating chicken skin right now. Not only the skins, the chicken too. I'm not *that* weird. You wrote about chicken skins one time. You're right, it's gloriously good.
Also, I just discovered your blog a few weeks ago and I laugh at almost every post, so thanks! :) And keep up the good work! *And* I used to live in Montana so I understand about the freezing cold thing.
I spent the last few days reading through your past entries and haven't laughed so hard in a long, long time. THank you for that. Though, shame on you! I was sick! And laughing hurt! I ended up losing my voice from laughing so hard I coughed so hard that I almost peed myself!
So does those bear chips come with a cool drink that supposedly simmers down the awesome aggressive flavor of flavors like that pepsi seize fire shit? If so i am totally down.
I came for the fish story and I stayed for some blob flakes. Blob flakes might be the single greatest thing ever. I cannot say blob flakes out loud very well though. I tend to want to say bob flakes. But I digress. Having read a good portion of your blog, I have concluded that you are the female version of me, only perhaps more ADD and more awesome. I shudder at the thought. If we were to meet the world could very well be destroyed in a blaze of distracted procrastination. To that effect I challenge you to a procrastination off. First one to accomplish something loses.
I just made you into a rad button on my blog. Inspired by you, but not technically style biting if it's not an awesome button, right? Also? Your fish post and awkward situation have been my fave so far... I will happily wait for more rad-ness.
I've spent the last few days reading through your blog and my husband is soooo annoyed at me, kinda like how I imagine Boyfriend gets annoyed when he's ready for bed but you aren't yet. Anyway, I just have to tell you that you've had me rolling on the floor since Friday and I'm going to share your spider post, which is the one that hooked me, with my FB friends so they can love you too....and work toward making you famous.
My Chiropractor's name is Dr. Mangel, but it's pronounced 'mangle.' I think this is fabulous. My old Chiropractor's name is Dr. Riggler, so apparently a trend is forming.
NOT UNCLE SCARY TEETH!!!!
ReplyDeleteDo Bear Chips come in sour cream and onion? If so, put me down for ten bags. And I should also thank you, because you just reminded me that I need to pick up some deodorant before I go home. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure "Eat it or Die" is the tag line on every product they market to kids these days. You totally nailed that one.
ReplyDeleteBear chips look delicious.
ReplyDeleteI want a bear chips t-shirt.
ReplyDeleteOnce again, the "Yay, I can poop again!" has tickled my extremely juvenile funny bone to the core.
ReplyDeleteYay clusters and Bear chips will haunt me in my dreams tonight.
ReplyDeleteBut at least dreaming about food will break up the monotony of dreaming about naked ladies.
I want some Blob flakes immediately. Also, I'm glad someone ackowledged that the point of all these new-fangled yogurts is just to make you poop.
ReplyDeleteBen - You better buy some Yay Flakes or else YES Uncle Scary teeth.
ReplyDeleteTony - They come in Sour Cream and Onion, Ice Cold Ranch, Exquisite Barbeque and Weasel.
Kalisa - Cheerios has successfully used that concept to market their cereal for ages! "Eat it or die of heart disease, Suckah!"
DashiellP - I know! But they'll eat your face, so be careful.
Brian - Coming right up!
Soft Nonsense - Isn't it amazing how poop jokes almost never get old. And that's basically what Activia is trying to say...
Ed - I can almost guarantee you that Uncle Scary Teeth is half naked woman. You can't see the rest of his body, but he's got tits that just won't quit.
I should get me some of that poop yogurt. Sounds delicious.
ReplyDeleteAngie - Yeah, Activia is just so coy about the whole issue... "Oh no! I'm feeling a tad bit irregular. I can't swim today." Lady, you just need to poop is what needs to happen.
ReplyDeletemiss. chief - I hear that blueberry is the best flavor...
ReplyDeleteUh oh, I just ordered some "Bear Chips" instead of "Yay Clusters". I will either get eaten by my chips, or by uncle scary teeth. Help!
ReplyDelete-Miss Mayhem
Miss Mayhem - What you need to do is keep the Bear Chips contained within the bag until Uncle Scary Teeth comes to get you. Then you release the Bear Chips on Uncle Scary Teeth and hopefully they'll all kill each other. Then you can eat your Bear Chips in peace.
ReplyDeleteI would totally buy a Bear Chips T-shirt too!
ReplyDeleteGlad to know I'm not the only person that reads Cracked.com EVERY SINGLE DAY.
ReplyDeleteI love the thought that there are intense little yogurt soldiers out there that are going to defend my poop. Yeah!
ReplyDelete"They will straight up murder you with flavour". I LOVE it!!! :)
ReplyDeleteLori - What do you mean?
ReplyDeleteI'm Jane - It's like a little army all up in your intestines!
Ben - Yay! :)
Those bear chips are adorable! Are they actually bear flavored, or could I get them in cool ranch?
ReplyDeleteSalt - You can get them in ice fucking cold ranch. :)
ReplyDeleteOMG I love Bear Chips. There are some munching on my leg right now.
ReplyDeleteAllie, I want my Spaghatta Nadle now please...and throw in some fucking ice cold ranch bear chips too!!!
ReplyDeleteUs Nadle junkies go go Hammerspice mangel'n yay clusters pooping bear chips when we don't get any!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I saw Uncle Scary Teeth Saturday night during the zombie apocalypse.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm totally getting some Hammerspice Deodorant for the husband. Wondering if it comes in Clinical Strength????
Ashley - A little-known use for bear chips is exfoliation! It's a great way to prep for leg-shaving!
ReplyDeleteCuck - I love you. You are the Spaghatta Nadle police - always looking out for the well-being of Spaghatta Nadle-addicted people everywhere!
But you needn't worry, Chuck! I will be posting Spaghatta Nadle soon!
Mary - Clinical-strength Hammerspice is not advisable... the user may die from an overdose of awesome extremeness.
ReplyDeleteMan, I've been waiting my whole sorry life to be straight up murdered with flavor!
ReplyDeleteBut the armpit arrow shooting looks handy too...
Hmmm, which product to try first? I believe a study to determine proper chronological consumption order is needed.
Bear Chips! Yes! I want me some!!
ReplyDeleteYou just rocked my evening! Thank you. ;p
Does Hammerspice come in a crossbow bolt variety? I'm allergic to arrows :(
ReplyDeleteI actually just saw an article on Cracked that talked about Activia yogurt that had me LOLing. Linkage below...no pun intended.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.cracked.com/article_18496_the-6-most-baffling-things-every-tv-ad-assumes-are-true.html
Andrew - Thank you! Someone above mentioned that article and I couldn't find it!
ReplyDeleteThat really was funny! (And they make a good point!)
Love your drawings of the machine called advertising. I have several products in my house that I have bought out of fear of dying.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the awesome blogging!
Must. Buy. Yay Clusters.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure I would poop more if my yogurt had angry eyes and big teeth like that.
ReplyDeleteI feel it's about time I had a chip that had a 99% chance of killing me. Kudos!
ReplyDeleteI'd like to give Mangel as a gift to my hate texter so her head would shrivel up like a raisin.
ReplyDeleteThat merman shark is going to invade my dreams tonight, I just know it.
ReplyDeleteblob flakes is the most hilarious thing I have read all week.
ReplyDeleteI cried.
And then posted it on two of my friend's facebooks with a link to your site.
yoopi!
~Lily
I heard that if you dont use hammerspice deodorant you get herpes and cancer at the same time.
ReplyDeleteI would love to try out the bear chips :P.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I think I enjoyed reading your response to other peoples' comments as much as I enjoyed the ads. I think you've got a real future in advertising. Or, I've got a brilliant idea!! You can start doing my morning show's promotional spots that run at obscure hours of the night!!!
ReplyDeleteROFL!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd here you were worried about disappointing people....tsk tsk!
YOU SHOULD NEVER DOUBT YOUR AWESOMENESS. NEVER. EVER.
ever.
Is Mangel available in homosexual? I'm just curious what happens to the guy who is the woman in that relationship.
ReplyDeleteThere is something seriously fucked up with you....but I love you anyway. Now...where can I buy hammerspice, cause, you never know when you need arrows.
ReplyDeleteI would totally buy some Bear Chips if they advertised like that. Seriously. I'd even sport some Bear Chips threads!
ReplyDeleteI finished your blog. It took me five days, but I did it. Did I do my communications plan? No. Did I write a paper about the different rhetoric of Woodrow Wilson and Barack Obama? No. Did I let my google reader build up to over 400 items? Yes. Yes I did.
ReplyDeleteAll to finish your blog. And it was worth it! Though, going back in time made the whole thing a little surreal. It was like rereading Benjamin Button, but funnier and I was just happy at the end instead of sad. Except I was sad, cause now I don't have your blog to read anymore.
Anyway, at the end, I was really excited to see the link to your other blog! And it was great! And then you didn't update it a lot, and I was sad. But I was really looking forward to finding a way to deserve a drawing. But I didn't. I feel like I am missing something, and I don't feel like I can ask for a drawing (All I did was read your blog...and that was a reward itself), so I won't.
ANYWAY. Your blog is great. That is all.
i'm also kind of retarded for you. and i've got to say, that nick fabiani just totally took the wind out of my sails, because I TOO just finished your entire blog, and am now following your secret b sides blog.
ReplyDeletefuck.
and here i was, thinking i was the only creepy obsessed one.
I am so glad I found your blog. I have been following it, though will admit I haven't left a comment yet because...well...quite plainly I'm not funny and feel inferior next to the other intelligent and amusing responses.
ReplyDeleteI will bow my head in shame.
But I had to tell you that you rock and your blog makes me laugh -- the kind of well s**t I shouldn't drink things while it read it because liquid always comes out my nose kind.
So thank you.
I <3 you.
ReplyDeleteNo one sells Go Poop Yogurt quite like that. Not even Jamie Lee Curtis. And that says a lot. LOL
ReplyDeleteSo one of my friends directed me to this kidney-splitting blog of yours today. I showed it to about three other friends, and I'm sure they'll show it to their friends... well, you get where this is going. I totally decided to follow you on Twitter, and now I am scolding myself for finding yet another website that will distract me from doing important things (y'know, like paying attention in class, doing homework, and other things of the sort). So yay for that.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I almost burst a lung laughing so hard at your blog. Just so you know.
You're scary funny :D
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe sad part? Uncle Scary Teeth isn't "that relative we don't talk about."
ReplyDeleteI think 'eat it or die' came straight from my inner voice. If you don't eat that chocolate right now, you'll die. You see that bacon? Eat it or die. As you can imagine, I rarely disobey.
ReplyDeleteI was reading this blog yesterday on my laptop and my husband on the other side of the sofa started laughing his head off when I got to "Mangel" I looked over and he was reading over my shoulder and laughing so hard he was crying.
ReplyDeleteHe made me go back to the start of the entry, read it all the way through with him and then he made me show him your fish story post.
That was a super fun time and it was thinks to Allie!
Also Husband was wondering if Mangel made your hair grow back, and I can't sleep because of Mr. Scary Teeth
Aww, these ads made the packaging of my chinese supermarket brand bacon look cheap.
ReplyDeletehttp://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f350/maoruiwen/PA080210.jpg
So would you eat the blob flakes with a foil spoon too?
ReplyDeleteSo would you eat the blob flakes with a foil spoon too?
ReplyDeleteToday I discovered your blog. I've been sick for three weeks (five months, if I'm totally honest) and no doctor I've been to can tell me what's wrong. You have made my day, and possibly my week, as I will be reading for a long time. Thank you so much!!!
ReplyDeleteSo you're the source of all the 4chan memes..
ReplyDeleteYour art is an inspiration. Thank you. Fuck yeah bear chips.
ReplyDeleteIt's ridiculous how much you make me laugh.
ReplyDeletehttp://i.imgur.com/ZYzfTl.jpg
ReplyDeleteFound this on Reddit today. And just in time for the death of Jesus! Yay? Either way, just thought I'd let you know. Awesome site. I read posts for like 3 hours yesterday. Kept me up till the wee hours of the morn. Yeah, I say morn. Boyfriend is one lucky nerd.
yes, i'd like to place a large order of mangel...
ReplyDeleteWait... shouldn't bear chips MAUL you? not murder you? gawd I'm funny.
ReplyDeleteLove yoyr blog helps me forget im short
ReplyDeleteI need blobflakes in my life.
ReplyDeleteHey,
ReplyDeleteLove the blog, I think you're funny. I had a similar fishing experience as a wee lad.
A bit of work time well spent for me. Will check back.
Thanks.
graham
I'm eating chicken skin right now. Not only the skins, the chicken too. I'm not *that* weird. You wrote about chicken skins one time. You're right, it's gloriously good.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I just discovered your blog a few weeks ago and I laugh at almost every post, so thanks! :) And keep up the good work! *And* I used to live in Montana so I understand about the freezing cold thing.
Leah
It's like Ren and Stimpy.
ReplyDeleteThe first one about the Bear Chips was definitely priceless. I had to contain my laughter.
ReplyDeleteI also really want some Blob Flakes now. They seem delicious.
post! post! post! more! more! more!
ReplyDeleteI heart you.
I spent the last few days reading through your past entries and haven't laughed so hard in a long, long time. THank you for that. Though, shame on you! I was sick! And laughing hurt! I ended up losing my voice from laughing so hard I coughed so hard that I almost peed myself!
ReplyDeleteAnd you only have yourself to blame.
=D =D =D
What, no tacos?
ReplyDeleteSo does those bear chips come with a cool drink that supposedly simmers down the awesome aggressive flavor of flavors like that pepsi seize fire shit? If so i am totally down.
ReplyDeleteThis is my new favourite website.
ReplyDeleteI came for the fish story and I stayed for some blob flakes. Blob flakes might be the single greatest thing ever. I cannot say blob flakes out loud very well though. I tend to want to say bob flakes. But I digress.
ReplyDeleteHaving read a good portion of your blog, I have concluded that you are the female version of me, only perhaps more ADD and more awesome. I shudder at the thought. If we were to meet the world could very well be destroyed in a blaze of distracted procrastination. To that effect I challenge you to a procrastination off. First one to accomplish something loses.
I just made you into a rad button on my blog. Inspired by you, but not technically style biting if it's not an awesome button, right? Also? Your fish post and awkward situation have been my fave so far... I will happily wait for more rad-ness.
ReplyDeleteI've spent the last few days reading through your blog and my husband is soooo annoyed at me, kinda like how I imagine Boyfriend gets annoyed when he's ready for bed but you aren't yet. Anyway, I just have to tell you that you've had me rolling on the floor since Friday and I'm going to share your spider post, which is the one that hooked me, with my FB friends so they can love you too....and work toward making you famous.
ReplyDeleteMy Chiropractor's name is Dr. Mangel, but it's pronounced 'mangle.' I think this is fabulous. My old Chiropractor's name is Dr. Riggler, so apparently a trend is forming.
ReplyDeletemmmmmmmmm... bear chips
ReplyDelete