Remember those posts? Me too. They haven't gone away, I promise. But for now, here's more Spaghatta Nadle, you wonderful freaks:
Spaghatta Nadle Pahrt Sahx!!
I wanted to make one more Spaghatta Nadle post before the weekend is over and I have to go back to posting normal stuff. And when I say "normal stuff" I mean "Posts that have more words than pictures, but also have pictures. But definitely more words."
Remember those posts? Me too. They haven't gone away, I promise. But for now, here's more Spaghatta Nadle, you wonderful freaks:
Remember those posts? Me too. They haven't gone away, I promise. But for now, here's more Spaghatta Nadle, you wonderful freaks:
Spaghatta Nadle is on Facebook!!!
I'm not even kidding.
This spiraled out of control very quickly. The only reason I didn't make even more friends for him is because Gmail and Hotmail both cut me off. They were like "No more new accounts today... we're big, mean, evil bads."
Anyway, if you want to friend Spaghatta Nadle, tag him in a photo or superpoke him, go HERE.
Spaghatta Nadle Part Fahve!
Warning: If you are new here or are not familiar with the Spaghatta Nadle, please go here and then here and then here and maybe even here before reading this one. I promise things will make a lot more sense if you do. I'm going to have to put this warning on every single Spaghatta Nadle cartoon from now on, aren't I? Crap.
Anyway, I think I'm going to start posting comics on Fridays or the weekends. Partly because it's an easy way to give you something to read while still giving myself time on the weekend to relax and also because many of you will probably be drunk and I promise that these are a lot funnier when you're drunk.
P.S. You guys are huge weirdos for liking this so much...
:)
Hey Guys! Look at Me Being Famous and Getting Interviewed!!
Remember how yesterday I was all "I'm dying from drawing too much, how about you guys just interview me so I don't have to come up with a post on my own..."?
I seriously underestimated your capacity to ask questions. And I overestimated my ability to come up with good answers. I really don't think I'm cut out to be famous, you guys. This shit's hard.
Anyway, I ended up picking the questions that led to the most entertaining/informative answers. If I didn't answer your question, it doesn't mean that I hate you or that I hate your question. It just means that I failed at creating a satisfactory answer.
Alright, question time!
Why do you live in Montana? Are you being held against your will by a bear and a sad bee?
I live in Montana because Boyfriend and I went to school here and then after we graduated, Boyfriend was like "I know what would be a good idea! I should get a job in Montana and then we should keep living here!" And I was like "Okay." So here I am. Some days I feel like I am being held here against my will by a bear, and some days I'm happy to live here:
Given a choice of eating only ham or only raisins for the rest of your life, which would you choose and why?
I would probably choose raisins because they have fiber and fiber is healthy and also I could probably soak the raisins in water and then ferment them and make wine and then I could get drunk and forget about the fact that I'll only be able to eat raisins for the rest of my life.
When choosing a cat, what do you think is important?
When choosing a cat, I think it is important to check and make absolutely sure that the cat is not a robot destroyer. If you can confirm that the cat is a genuine animal, then I would make sure that it doesn't have rabies.
Are you or are you not the first sign of the apocalypse? What is the second sign? What is the best way to repent?
Maybe. I think I might count as a false Messiah.
In case anyone is wondering, I'm not Jesus.
BAM. Apocalypse averted. You're welcome.
What made you choose the lowly Nadle to raise to such animated heights?
It just kind of happened. It was the product of too little sleep and too much sugar.
Does Boyfriend ever see the same face you have in your header? How often? Is he turned on or skeered?
Boyfriend is much more likely to see my raptor face:
When I'm really stressed, I like to pretend I'm a dinosaur. I don't think it scares Boyfriend anymore. He's used to it.
Where do you think the word "sandwich" came from?
Supposedly sandwiches are named after the Earl of Sandwich, but we all know that's a lie. I think it's just a cover-up for the fact that our ancestors ate sand. Have you ever noticed how all kids try to eat sand? It's their primal instincts. Kids have a vestigial appetite for sand.
What do you think of Twilight?
I hear it has vampires in it.
What did you do this morning for 2 hours instead of writing a blog post?
I woke up to my alarm and flailed around melodramatically before crawling out of bed. And then I almost fell down the stairs. Then I made some tea and stared at my wall for a little while. Then I made myself an award for getting up so early. Then I tried to write a blog post, but it didn't work, so I just drew pictures instead.
If a spleen and a tomato juice were involved in a war between aliens, would the horse radish win a poodle?
Verbs.
How will you celebrate when (not if) you become "Champion of the Internet"?
When I become Champion of the Internet, I will obviously also become very wealthy, so I will buy myself a unicorn and ride it around town while screaming randomly.
Is it exhausting being so awesome?
Yes it is, Barbara. The weight of my awesomeness is a heavy load to bear. It's like wearing a backpack full of rocks and trying to run uphill as fast as I can. In the snow. And inspirational music is playing in the background, but I can't hear it because my ears are too full of my own splendor.
In all seriousness, though, this is hard work (blogging, I mean... not being awesome. That just kind of comes naturally). Even though I get to sit around in my pajamas all day, I'm working more than full time. It's fun work, but there's a lot of it! Boyfriend says that I probably work 80 hours a week between writing, editing, drawing, emailing and forum-ing. He was kind of pouty about it. (Okay, so I just realized how much 80 hours is. It's probably more like 50 or 60. I blame Boyfriend for the melodramatic exaggeration.)
If a celebrity would play you in a movie, who would it be?
Charlize Theron or Megan Fox. Then everyone would think I was super hot.
What illustrators did you admire growing up?
What illustrators did you admire growing up?
I was obsessed with Calvin and Hobbes when I was young. Also Gary Larson. They are both able to convey complex ideas with fairly simple illustrations.
If bears and unicorns played each other in Curling, who would win?
If bears and unicorns played each other in Curling, who would win?
Bears. The unicorns would be disqualified for using magic. I'm pretty sure there's a rule in curling that says you can't use magic.
In a fight between a grilled cheese sandwich and a taco, who would win?
Probably the taco. Have you ever been stabbed in the mouth by a hard taco shell? Tacos will shank you.
Do you like to read? If so, what?
I love reading! Right now, I'm reading several David Sedaris books. My favorite book is probably The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. I also love books about drug addicts, for some reason.
Is there a separation between regular Allie and cartoon Allie? Do they ever cross over?
Cartoon Allie is based heavily on myself as a child:
That being said, there is significant overlap with my adult self. But I think maybe cartoon-me can open its mouth wider than I can.
If you could live anywhere you choose, where would it be?
Narnia.
Can you draw elephants? I really like elephants.
I can kind of draw elephants...
Will Spaghatta Nadle ever find lave?
Oh, definitely.
Grand Opening: Hyperbole and a Half Store!
Welcome to my store.
Please click the picture to go there!
Spaghatta Nadle Part Fahr!
Again, if you are unfamiliar with Spaghatta Nadle, this may make more sense if you start a few posts back...
Spaghatta Nadle Part Thrah!
A few more Spaghatta Nadles for you... (if this is your first time here, or you haven't read the other Spaghatta Nadles yet, this will all make a lot more sense if you start a few posts back....)
Spaghatta Nadle Part Tah!
You guys, I have so many more of these it isn't even funny. And I'm drunk now, so I'll probably make even more.
PLEASE STOP!!
When I was a child, one of the things I enjoyed doing was hitting other children with a stick. Many of my classmates also enjoyed doing this. We would walk through the forest in back of our school, trying to find the biggest stick we could feasibly wield as a weapon. When we found the right stick, we would lure an unsuspecting child out of the teacher's sight during recess and attack them. We called this game Stick War and it was the best game ever as long as you weren't the one being beaten mercilessly.
We were able to secretly play Stick War for almost three whole days before one of our asshole classmates ruined it by calling for help when we wouldn't stop hitting him. Our teacher was furious. She sat us down and told us that from then on, if any one of us felt like we were being treated unfairly, we could yell "PLEASE STOP!" and the offending party must stop or face dire consequences.
Life after Please Stop was very different for us. We could no longer overpower our weaker classmates with brutality.
No matter what was happening to you, you could always count on Please Stop to prevent it from continuing. It was a magic bullet of pure power. We respected it. We feared it.
It didn't take us long to learn how to abuse it.
We began using Please Stop for everything. We used it to settle ownership disputes and to bend the rules of freeze tag. If we didn't want to learn about numbers, we would shout "PLEASE STOP!" at our teacher. It became a single word - "PLEESTOP" - uttered triumphantly in a loud burst.
Please Stop quickly made its way into our home lives, too. I clearly remember sitting at the dinner table, yelling "PLEASE STOP!" at my mom because she was trying to make me finish my meatloaf. My sister and I became Please Stop ninjas, constantly finding creative new ways to wield the ultimate source of power more effectively.
But one fateful day, we flew too close to the sun and ruined Please Stop forever. I remember that it was summer. I had just come inside from catching grasshoppers and I was sorting them on my sister's bed because I didn't want to get grasshopper guts on mine. I tried to sort them based on how many legs they still had - the intact grasshoppers would be dried out for display purposes and the mangled ones would be used in dissection experiments which were not done for scientific reasons, but more as an excuse to chop up grasshoppers with my mom's butcher knife.
My sister was horrified to find me trespassing on her side of the bedroom.
My sister: "Don't sit on my bed!"
Me: "It's a free country! I can sit on your bed if I want!"
My sister: "PLEASE STOP!"
Me: "PLEASE STOP SAYING PLEASE STOP!"
My sister: "PLEASE STOP TELLING ME TO PLEASE STOP SAYING PLEASE STOP!"
Me: "PLEASE STOP TELLING ME TO PLEASE STOP TELLING YOU TO PLEASE STOP SAYING PLEASE STOP!"
We had discovered a glitch in the system -- Please Stop was flawed. It could be used against itself infinitely, thereby becoming useless. We were in a goddamn Mexican standoff.
It felt like we had forcibly ripped apart the universe and were now staring at a gaping black hole where our powerful weapon used to exist. What had we done?
Over the course of the summer, the other children in my class also began to discover the flaws of Please Stop. Parents could not be controlled by it. It was hard to yell it effectively when your mouth was crammed full of your own socks. It was even harder to yell when your head was underwater.
By the time we returned to school in the fall, we had resigned ourselves to settling things the old-fashioned way, with sticks and rocks. But we were bitter and jaded, having placed our faith in something so obviously corruptible, so even Stick War lost its former appeal.
There was a brief ray of hope when someone invented "Please Stop to Infinity" to solve the escalation problem, but shortly afterward someone else invented "Please Stop to Infinity to Infinity" and we were right back where we started.
As we grew up, we learned to solve our problems through "talking" and "compromise," but I think secretly we all still yearned for the days where we only had to yell "PLEASE STOP" and anything we wanted was ours.