I don't know how it's possible for me to be the first to comment on a blog that usually has hundreds by the time I read the post (well deserving, I might add), but woohoo! Coupons are officially dead to me.
HAHAHA, if only we could use coupons as money. Both the dollar bill and a coupon have the same value, since we no longer have gold to back our bills...I say we bring it up with Congress.
I am known as The Crazy Coupon Lady at my local grocery store. I save a good $40 with each trip in coupons alone (not to mention specials). If the world accepted coupons as actual MONEY, oh my gosh, I would be so rich. And I would have that dishwasher I've so desperately wanted for so long.
I just wanted to say that picture #2 (the one with the letter and coupons to Skyline Mgmt) is exceptionally well drawn. I love the shading and 3d effect.
NO: Any outstanding debt you have to someone in the Mafia. Tony: "Where's the money, Gino?" Gino: "Boss, sorry, I don't have it, but I do have a coupon for 15% off Olive Garden =)" (cue gunfire)
NO: Bribing people, "I'll give you this coupon for buy 1 get 1 free energizer batteries if you gimme that snack pack"
YES: Making your Mom happy after you show her a bad grade on your report card MOM: "What is this grade?!", KID: "Sorry, but I got a coupon for 1/2 off your next gallon of milk!" MOM: (looks angry for a bit then registers what you said, "OH THANK YOU SWEETIE!" (they hug)
YES: A college Poker game, Player 1 "I bet a Free burrito from Chipotle (table gasps)" Player 2: "I call your burrito and raise you a free Ice Cream Sunday from McDonalds! (table goes wild!)
Haven't used a coupon in years but I do believe in the US they DO have a monetary value - don't they say "worth 0.001 cents" somewhere in small print on the bottom?
Ah, but coupons do have cash value (usually)...It's in the fine print as 1/100 of one cent...So you could pay your $450 rent in coupons (theoretically) if you happen to have 4.5 million coupons lying around...Getting your apartment management to accept that form of payment on the other hand... :)
gryphonesse - I actually gave my friend Ben coupons for his birthday one time as a joke (and also because I didn't have any money.) But he understood that it was a joke. I think.
haha I was going to comment about the awesome comic but I like the "I'm super creepy and totally capable of finding you" caveat even more. If you find me please bring me coupons!
http://peasprout.com/blog/?p=1992
I just made it that much easier to find me. Please make my coupon for shampoo because I am almost out.
My neighbor has been stuffing our mailbox with coupons for baby stuff that we never use ever since we had our twins. We don't have the heart to tell her to stop, so we just throw them in the recycling.
Kitsune - That would be awesome! A coupon for 15% off your 2010 Federal taxes!
I love how you bring your personal experiences into your blog in a way that is humorous for all of us Allie, I hate getting coupons when I’m stripping too.
Coupons may not be socially/monetarily acceptable in all circumstances, but they are still awesome. I got a free gallon of milk last night at the grocery store!
You should consider a follow-up post about sneaky coupons that get you hooked on Macaroni Grill frozen dinners with super-terrific $2-off coupons, before downgrading you to $1-off-when-you-buy-2 coupons that coerce you into buying more even though they are no longer a good deal. Sneaky little finks.
yocalljo - Yup! I bought a Wacom tablet. Still figuring it out, but it's great for writing. I still have a little trouble drawing with it for some reason, but I'll learn.
I'm so honored. I think I'll run out to the wine store this minute and get a bottle of bubbly. I'll just bring it back to my desk at work. 5pm is looking SO much closer now.
I get annoyed when I get a coupon from a company as a "birthday present." WTF. "For your birthday, we're giving you $5 off a $50 purchase!" Um... whut. A birthday gift would be "We're giving you a $10 gift card" or something like that!
This is exactly why I never open the giant envelope of coupons I get in the mail every Wednesday. There's never one for 50% off the Old Spice Guy. Never.
Bahaha! This is exactly what I needed today! You're awesome Allie ^_^
Maybe an Applebee's waitress could use an Applebee's coupon, they need to eat, too (or so I hear anyway). I tip about 15% anyway, so why not? I would just have to remind myself never to go back to that particular Applebee's for fear of spit ending up in my food :/
here's a coupon for a hug. um, yeah, i'd rather just not be touched. how about a coupon for free babysitting when you don't have kids... or those stupid valpak envelopes that take up half of the mailbox. coupons suck.
(LAUGH!!!) I am actually commenting before comments reach 100!!! >//o//<!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (super excited and tries to pat self on the back but can only reach to almost shoulder blade so spends three minutes trying to pat back and looking like a total moron but not caring because I CAN'T FUCKING PAT MYSELF ON THE BACK!! [puff huff]) sorry I swore. It was really emotional. O_O
Anyway, coupons .. I have that problem except mine is I always use them after they expire. I get one and go 'Oh, okay, I can use this next time!" or I lose it. I always go to Michael's and they always give me a coupon on the receipt and I always think , "Oh I'm coming back here next week, I can use it!" Then I forget, lose it, etc. And you know how awkward it is when you present a coupon and they tell you it is expired. And you go, "Oh, really?" Even though you knew already but was hoping they wouldn't look at it. Then you say, "Oh, I'm sorry, haha" and try to look pathetic and sad and lonely and hope they take pity and give you a discount anyway. They don't.
I love that the stripper in this strip has the same eyes and hair as the soybean loving woman in Awkward Social Situations post (the one before this one).
Liquor coupons are great, but fantastically rare. Once, there was one for something like $5 off any bottle of Jim Beam in the Sunday paper, but that's about it. Perhaps during the upcoming holiday season...
If you gave me a coupon for my birthday, I would happily accept. Well, it depend on the coupon I guess. If it was an expired coupon for foot cream or something, not so much. But if it was a valid coupon for the Cheesecake Factory or Applebees ot Dairy Queen? I'd be like "Hells yeah!"
ummmm, Allie? Has anyone told you what a genius you are? Because you have single-handedly just found a way out of the current economic crisis. You should run for something - I'd vote for you!
What about those cute fake coupons I made for my parents when I was a kid (or last year, when I was broke.) You know, the "Good for one free chore with no complaints" or "Good for one free hug." Those were always awesome because essentially you were giving someone the gift of doing something you would have probably done anyway. But then you come out looking good. Because who's going to be like "NO! I don't want your hugs. Hugs are a stupid birthday present!."
I will give someone fifty 20% coupons from Bed Bath & Beyond to see that stripper stunt. For reals, y'all. Fifty. As in 5-0. That's a lot of dough. Think it over.
I tried to give my students coupons for good behvior, but they started behaving worse. So that would also be a "No" situation. Hilarious as always Allie.
Know what is acceptable, though? Sending someone one of those tiny "Thinking of You" cards stuffed with coupons for things they use. You have to know them well, though. There is a difference between the message, "Hi, Mom! I was thinking of you the other day and also am giving you $0.55 off your next purchase of that particular kind of toothpaste you love" and the message, "Here, take these coupons."
My brother once got $150 in cash and coupons for shaving his head. I mean, others paid in cash and coupons for the opportunity to help. Wait, you shaved your head. You should charge next time around.
The electric company and insurance folks aren't really wild about getting coupons, either. Sort of like the whole barter economy thing- cable can't be paid with a chicken.
I totally tried to make it rain on a stripper with coupons from JoAnn Fabric. Not appreciated like I thought. Wish you would have written this sooner! You are awesome!
I clicked on your Donate button and left you a coupon for free fries with next purchase of a Whopper (or equivalent). My charitable universe now knows no bounds.
I hate commenting this far down because I think you never read them past a certain point...probably right above my comment...love the stripper girl and pole, made me laugh hard.
Back when I used to work at McDonald's, I totally tipped waitresses with coupons I stole from work and gave them out in Christmas cards. I always made sure they were for free things, though!
I had something super awesome to comment... but I've had a few too many drinks and just ate some awesome mac and cheese and then peppers and sausage and can't really remember what I was going to say.
It had to do with relationships though... and it was important... so hopefully I remember it soon...
I've gotten coupons with birthday cards before, but they were more like those "You can get something for free just for stopping in!" kinda coupons. It's nicer than just a tacky card that doesn't seem to match your personality in any way at all.
Speaking of coupons... those value pack things you get in the mail - you know what I'm talking about. They design them in such a way that they look like some contest entry pamphlet and in huge letters it'll say "YOU HAVE $400" in large letters on the top, making you feel somewhat excited. Then you notice in the much smaller print below it says, "In Coupons Redeemable - blah blah blah" thus ruining your minimal excitement gained from getting the mail. I hate that. >:[
My husband's mom gave him pizza coupons for his birthday this year. Which, in her defense, she's currently out of work and it was truly the best she could do, but even so, you pretty much nailed the look on his face when he opened the card. And now I can't stop laughing.
Second: We're in awe of your drawing skills over here. Simple, effective, and yet.... No drawing should be this primitive and still have such impact. I've laughed. I've cried. (When it came to the dog IQ test, I did both.)
Third: I apologize that this is a random comment, as I have nothing particular to say about coupons.
Hardcore courage wolves love coupons... and hey, don't fret if one is expired, just do what the courage wolf in the image below would do... http://cdn.nextround.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/courage-wolf-17-560x560.jpg
I extremely enjoy knowing that the vegan coffee creeper's night job is stripping. Also that the same guy that doesn't want to talk to her loves to give her applebees coupons! :D
Allie, as much as these comics cracked me up, and even though the drawings are still amazing as always, I miss your 'old' art style a bit, from about 3 posts ago. I'm not sure about the colored backgrounds... I really loved the simplicity of the white backgrounds! It made all your drawings instantly recognizable! Love you.
Scyllacat, I only found this place a couple weeks ago, but had the same thought about the drawings- so simple but so effectively conveying emotion and humor.
I happen to belong to another forum with a few strippers; I'm going to link this post and see what their reaction is. Actually, they've probably already seen it, since they're the ones who introduced me to Hyperbole and a Half in the first place!
Seriously, someone has the "Alot" as their avatar right now. :)
okay, someone said that strippers don't like applebees, they prefer denny's.
you are clearly going to the wrong kind of strip club then. my father is a notorious dater/friend of strippers (my last step-mother was a stripper) and NONE OF THEM would step foot in a denny's. the only places i went to dinner with my dad and stripper-step-mom were steak houses where the cheapest steak on the menu was $26 and came with no sides.
she also made THE BEST thanksgiving turkey i ever had in my entire life. she did not take coupons, though.
The only time I was given coupons on holidays was when my grandma would give me those McDonald's coupons they sell for holidays and such - the ones that are like $5 worth of coupons for kids? Yeah, those.
I didn't mind them as a kid because yay free McDonald's treats!
And to be honest, I look at them now and feel a twinge of sadness that I won't be getting them anymore.
Hi Allie. Really love your blog. I was particularly excited to see this entry-- you see, my best friend and I really enjoy a good coupon. And while we fully agree on when it is appropriate/inappropirate to give or use a coupon, we can't agree on the pronunciation of coupon. So we'll let you break this stalemate-- what's your preference: koo-pon or kyoo-pon??? We love you. Keep up the good work.
My parents send me an endless barrage of coupons from home, which is 800 miles a way. I dunno how many times I've explained to my parents that there is no such thing as Publix where I live.
:O is it bad that I love coupons and wouldn't be sad to see them in a birthday card? I mean... you'd have to be kind of an asshole to give someone a coupon as a birthday present... but if you think about it... it's kind of like a gift card, but it just saves you money on the things you like instead of getting them for free. So actually not as awesome as I originally thought. Damn.
Thank you, Allie, for bringing such clarity to my life.
coupons? wouldnt those little paper annoyances be considered non- eco- friendly? I as a mid to late twenties rely on the stupid loyalty cards... coupons are so yesterday lol
You know, after having her stalk him in a cafetria, you'd think the fellow in orange would go out of his way to avoid the stripper, not provoke her with coupons. Some people never learn, do they.
Allie, your blog makes me smile when at times I feel I have nothing to smile about. I love the drawings and the witty stories. Both my parents are now dead: Mum died in 2008 and my dad died in July this year. Your blog has helped me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry.
Coupons are the devil's one and only use of paper. He makes them and sends them up to earth so that people will spend hours and hours cutting them out and trying to use them in approproate/not appropriate situations. I did hear it's totally worth it to cut them out, but what if you're like really lazy, or forgetful, or just have trouble with responsibility and then you forget to use them by the deadline? Why would they ever expire? Because they're made by the devil, that's why.
Awesome post! but how do you guys pronounce the word "coupon"? Whenever I read the word the voice in my head cannot decide how it wants it to be pronounced and it is quite annoying since I then have to pronounce it both ways before continuing on in reading. haha
So, is it pronounced
A) "queue"pon B)"coo"pon C) some other version i have not heard of.
I approve of this PSA.
ReplyDeleteA short one but a great one!
ReplyDeleteWeak.
ReplyDeleteHahahaa! I wish I could pay strippers with Applebees coupons!
ReplyDeleteI love the expressions in this one.
http://arguingwithadoughnut.blogspot.com
I don't know how it's possible for me to be the first to comment on a blog that usually has hundreds by the time I read the post (well deserving, I might add), but woohoo! Coupons are officially dead to me.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA, if only we could use coupons as money. Both the dollar bill and a coupon have the same value, since we no longer have gold to back our bills...I say we bring it up with Congress.
ReplyDeleteI will have to keep these tips in mind the next time I'm tempted to pay my rent with coupons.
ReplyDeleteDoh! I type too slow.
ReplyDeleteWell, if you find the right type of coupon for the stripper...
ReplyDelete%15 off at Zone-D-Erotica!
I've received coupons in birthday cards. 20% of my bed, bath & beyond purchase.
ReplyDeleteHow kind.
OMG TOTALLY HANDING MY STRIPPER A COUPON NEXT TIME.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant.
My sister gave me an expired coupon to Dairy Queen for my birthday.
ReplyDeleteI hate her.
I am known as The Crazy Coupon Lady at my local grocery store. I save a good $40 with each trip in coupons alone (not to mention specials). If the world accepted coupons as actual MONEY, oh my gosh, I would be so rich. And I would have that dishwasher I've so desperately wanted for so long.
ReplyDeleteHow about a gift card? Do strippers like those?
ReplyDeleteif you give them a gift card...and a coupon for the store..to use with thier coupon.... maybe?!
ReplyDeleteBut everybody knows Applebee's is as good as gold. D:
ReplyDeleteThe whole birthday coupons things. . . . actually seems like a good idea to me. XD
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say that picture #2 (the one with the letter and coupons to Skyline Mgmt) is exceptionally well drawn. I love the shading and 3d effect.
ReplyDeleteI totally give out coupons for my birthday, and I expect them in return because that's just the kind of person I am.
ReplyDeleteI would accept coupons for my birthday... good ones anyway (yes, I am aware that that's pitiful)
ReplyDeleteIf I had commented when I first visited your blog it would have propably went somehwhat like this:
ReplyDeleteOMGZ, UR AWESOME!!! (totally worth the tacky triple exclamation marks)
Now after cooling down for a couple of months I´m just going to say good job, allie. You´ll be famous one day. I´m sure.
the stripper one was hilarious!
ReplyDeleteNO: Any outstanding debt you have to someone in the Mafia. Tony: "Where's the money, Gino?" Gino: "Boss, sorry, I don't have it, but I do have a coupon for 15% off Olive Garden =)" (cue gunfire)
NO: Bribing people, "I'll give you this coupon for buy 1 get 1 free energizer batteries if you gimme that snack pack"
YES: Making your Mom happy after you show her a bad grade on your report card MOM: "What is this grade?!", KID: "Sorry, but I got a coupon for 1/2 off your next gallon of milk!" MOM: (looks angry for a bit then registers what you said, "OH THANK YOU SWEETIE!" (they hug)
YES: A college Poker game, Player 1 "I bet a Free burrito from Chipotle (table gasps)" Player 2: "I call your burrito and raise you a free Ice Cream Sunday from McDonalds! (table goes wild!)
If only it were possible to pay in coupons...and that it didn't matter that the expiration dates were from 3 years ago!
ReplyDelete-Barb the French Bean
I would LOVE to pay my rent in coupons... I would save SOOO MUCH money!
ReplyDeleteDoes this mean my electricity is going to be turned off????
ReplyDeleteStory of my life. <3
ReplyDeleteThe real trouble with coupons are those that sound great at first ("50% off ANY item!!"), but then list a huge block of "exclusions" in fine print.
ReplyDeleteThe exclusions cover pretty much everything you were thinking of using the coupon for.
I'm very curious as to what caused this coupon outburst, did boyfriend bring home a bouquet of them or something?
ReplyDeleteWait... they DON'T work for strippers? Crap...
ReplyDeleteI love the way your people lean. I often want to lean like this in real life - when I'm sad, or tired, or flummoxed. I get that leaning need.
ReplyDeleteI hate coupons most of the time. They're too darn specific and are just plain lame. Especially 10% off coupons.
ReplyDeleteGreat Post!
ReplyDeleteKeep them coming.
I totally know someone who gave a stripper a coupon for a free coffee at Dunkin Donuts. I heard she actually TOOK IT!
ReplyDeleteAllie, I just want to know what promted this PSA... did someone give you coupons as a present once? A cheap aunt or uncle??
ReplyDeletestripper coupons made me GOL (guffaw out loud)
ReplyDeleteHaven't used a coupon in years but I do believe in the US they DO have a monetary value - don't they say "worth 0.001 cents" somewhere in small print on the bottom?
ReplyDeleteAh, but coupons do have cash value (usually)...It's in the fine print as 1/100 of one cent...So you could pay your $450 rent in coupons (theoretically) if you happen to have 4.5 million coupons lying around...Getting your apartment management to accept that form of payment on the other hand... :)
ReplyDeletegryphonesse - I actually gave my friend Ben coupons for his birthday one time as a joke (and also because I didn't have any money.) But he understood that it was a joke. I think.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, remembering that prompted the comic :)
yay for more short comics! thx!
ReplyDeleteHahaha I love how the stripper ahs the same scary face as the 'Trap' girl in the previous post!
ReplyDeleteAllie, you're my hero.
hahahaahaha i almost gave my friend coupons once. she actually uses them though.
ReplyDeleteI love how you draw fancy eye makeup.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could pay my taxes with coupons, that would be great.
ReplyDeletehaha I was going to comment about the awesome comic but I like the "I'm super creepy and totally capable of finding you" caveat even more. If you find me please bring me coupons!
ReplyDeletehttp://peasprout.com/blog/?p=1992
I just made it that much easier to find me. Please make my coupon for shampoo because I am almost out.
There is a huge difference between coupons that are "good for one free _____" and "save 12 cents off 3 packages of _____".
ReplyDeleteIf only coupons WERE legal tender for things like rent, utility bills, etc. I like to dream....
Oddly enough, I knew a stripper that would gladly take coupons. Granted, she wasn't very successful. Also, dumb as a box of rocks. So, there's that.
ReplyDeleteAlso...remember the Crap Blog Detective? He hit me recently, too. I should just send him a link to your hate-post of yore.
Where's the "agree" button for the comments page? I want to pay my taxes in coupons too.
ReplyDeleteI would accept coupons for my birthday card.
ReplyDeleteI don't usually get money anyways, so its better than just a stupid card.
:]
Plus applebee's is delicious!
Hmm... since most people ignore my birthday, getting coupons would actually be a step up.
ReplyDeleteYou could probably give out coupons at Halloween if you like the smell of eggs on your house.
ReplyDeleteI'm soo giving strippers applebee's coupons from now on.
ReplyDeleteI disagree.
ReplyDeleteCoupons serve a variety of useful functions including, but not limited to, great gift ideas at the Secret Santa Swap.
Also, Bed Bath & Beyond coupons double as flotation devices in the event of an airplane crash in open water.
I can't use them at all because my mother calls me weekly to tell me how much she saved per trip. I worry that there are familial limits.
ReplyDeletehttp://operatingonrandom.blogspot.com
Clearly, Allie is frequenting the wrong kind of strip clubs.
ReplyDeleteMy neighbor has been stuffing our mailbox with coupons for baby stuff that we never use ever since we had our twins. We don't have the heart to tell her to stop, so we just throw them in the recycling.
ReplyDeleteShe totally thinks we owe her something.
You mean giving my friends coupons for their birthdays will result in disappointment? Drat! Now I have to rethink all my plans!
ReplyDeleteHmm, maybe next time I'll try a 15% coupon with my rent... ;-)
ReplyDeletehilarious~!
ReplyDeleteYour handwriting is prettier. Did you get a new toy?
ReplyDeleteand in instances as tips for your waitress.
ReplyDeleteI am completely with you. I hate coupons with a passion you can only dream of!
ReplyDeleteKitsune - That would be awesome! A coupon for 15% off your 2010 Federal taxes!
ReplyDeleteI love how you bring your personal experiences into your blog in a way that is humorous for all of us Allie, I hate getting coupons when I’m stripping too.
Hahaha, great as usual!!!
ReplyDeleteHilarious! Question: have you personally tried these? hehe
ReplyDeleteCoupons may not be socially/monetarily acceptable in all circumstances, but they are still awesome. I got a free gallon of milk last night at the grocery store!
ReplyDeleteYou should consider a follow-up post about sneaky coupons that get you hooked on Macaroni Grill frozen dinners with super-terrific $2-off coupons, before downgrading you to $1-off-when-you-buy-2 coupons that coerce you into buying more even though they are no longer a good deal. Sneaky little finks.
yocalljo - Yup! I bought a Wacom tablet. Still figuring it out, but it's great for writing. I still have a little trouble drawing with it for some reason, but I'll learn.
ReplyDeleteALLIEEE!!!!
ReplyDeleteAre you among us... RIGHT. NOW. ?!?
I'm so honored. I think I'll run out to the wine store this minute and get a bottle of bubbly. I'll just bring it back to my desk at work. 5pm is looking SO much closer now.
I don't know, most strippers do love some Applebees.
ReplyDeleteOnce you get the tablet down, you'll love it.
ReplyDeleteI get annoyed when I get a coupon from a company as a "birthday present." WTF. "For your birthday, we're giving you $5 off a $50 purchase!" Um... whut. A birthday gift would be "We're giving you a $10 gift card" or something like that!
ReplyDeleteTOTALLY ELEPHANTASTICAL!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly why I never open the giant envelope of coupons I get in the mail every Wednesday. There's never one for 50% off the Old Spice Guy. Never.
ReplyDeleteBahahaha! That was awesome! I completely agree and completely love this. :D
ReplyDeleteStrippers don't go to Applebees, they go to Denny's.
ReplyDeleteThis post made me laugh so hard because I randomly get coupons in the mail from my mother-in-law. Just coupons and sometimes a post-it note.
ReplyDeleteBahaha! This is exactly what I needed today! You're awesome Allie ^_^
ReplyDeleteMaybe an Applebee's waitress could use an Applebee's coupon, they need to eat, too (or so I hear anyway). I tip about 15% anyway, so why not?
I would just have to remind myself never to go back to that particular Applebee's for fear of spit ending up in my food :/
You are what caused me to start blogging, I love all the ridiculous comics that you come up with
ReplyDeleteBahahaha!!! Awesome! I love it -- I actually DO pay Skyline mgmt... if only it could be in coupons.
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious... I just blogged last night about how evil coupons won my BF and I over for McDonald's.
ReplyDeleteEvil evil coupons.
In fact, I must link back to your post, since you have good drawings and I have shit google images.
ReplyDeletehttp://seriouslyreallyseriously.blogspot.com/2010/09/bfs-shameful-confession.html
Plus you are way funnier than I will ever be.
But CLEARLY... the love/hate relationship of coupons is in the air!
Man, I love how you draw "pretty" girls. They're so terrifying.
ReplyDeleteI got coupons once. Also, a Barnes and Nobles membership. Bith are craptacular.
ReplyDeleteI got coupons once. Also, a Barnes and Nobles membership. Bith are craptacular.
ReplyDeleteWe call coupons vouchers in England...they're generally regarded as crappy birthday presents given to us by our aunts.
ReplyDeletehere's a coupon for a hug. um, yeah, i'd rather just not be touched. how about a coupon for free babysitting when you don't have kids... or those stupid valpak envelopes that take up half of the mailbox. coupons suck.
ReplyDeleteOh c'mon! Applebees coupons are like gold to strippers! The only thing they like even better are Krystal coupons!
ReplyDeletehttp://imgur.com/U57Vi.jpg
ReplyDeleteAnd that's all I have to say about that.
(LAUGH!!!)
ReplyDeleteI am actually commenting before comments reach 100!!! >//o//<!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (super excited and tries to pat self on the back but can only reach to almost shoulder blade so spends three minutes trying to pat back and looking like a total moron but not caring because I CAN'T FUCKING PAT MYSELF ON THE BACK!! [puff huff])
sorry I swore. It was really emotional. O_O
Anyway, coupons .. I have that problem except mine is I always use them after they expire. I get one and go 'Oh, okay, I can use this next time!"
or I lose it. I always go to Michael's and they always give me a coupon on the receipt and I always think , "Oh I'm coming back here next week, I can use it!"
Then I forget, lose it, etc. And you know how awkward it is when you present a coupon and they tell you it is expired. And you go, "Oh, really?" Even though you knew already but was hoping they wouldn't look at it. Then you say, "Oh, I'm sorry, haha" and try to look pathetic and sad and lonely and hope they take pity and give you a discount anyway.
They don't.
Love ya! You're so great!
ReplyDeleteSarah
Know what is considered legal tender? Stamps. I'm pretty sure that is true.
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine forking over stamps for your coffee... or strippers or whatever...
I love the stripper makeup! You are so awesome and hilarious!
ReplyDeleteLoved it.
ReplyDeleteBut the stripper is overdressed.
In the 1980's movie "Mr. Mom" the housewives all played poker with coupons. I always thought that would be fun and not so bad if I lost.
ReplyDeleteI am going to try to put some coupons in my savings account so it won't be so empty.
I'm always tempted to grab a gift card, not put ANY money on it, and give it to the person who deserves it the most just to see...
ReplyDeleteI love that the stripper in this strip has the same eyes and hair as the soybean loving woman in Awkward Social Situations post (the one before this one).
ReplyDeleteI just used a red lobster coupon for mah birfday lunch!
ReplyDeleteI ain't proud - I will use coupons at restaurant and grocery and department stores!
but I would never give them as presents to someone - that's too gauche!
Liquor coupons are great, but fantastically rare. Once, there was one for something like $5 off any bottle of Jim Beam in the Sunday paper, but that's about it. Perhaps during the upcoming holiday season...
ReplyDeletei got coupons for a present once from a guy. he thought he was an artist but really he worked at a craft store. where the coupons were from.
ReplyDeletewhat about SEXY coupons? like redeemable for SEXY stuff? those are always appropriate.
Oh yeah, stick that half-off Denny's breakfast coupon in my g-string, baby!
ReplyDeleteMy favourite is the last one - I can just picture it :)
ReplyDeletemy favorite yet!!!
ReplyDeleteYayyy 8]
ReplyDeleteHahha, you forgot to show the line of angry people behind you in the grocery line (look at this poor ass hole stealing my time)
ReplyDeleteAnd once I left a free whopper for a tip at Pizza Hut. I'm not sorry.
My Dad loves coupons. "It's like a dollar bill in your pocket!" No, not really.
ReplyDeleteI laughed so hard. You are so cool.
ReplyDeleteot oh
ReplyDeleteI agree with Crystal. Stripper woman = soybean woman.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I agree with sexual reference about SEXY coupons.
And you're just hilarious. I like your short comics because those mean MOAR ALLIE!!! Because MOAR! :-)
I want to give coupons to somebody for their birthday now....
ReplyDeleteNow that I think of it, my dad or my grandfather would probably love it!
Haha! I love that the stripper is the Starbucks, soy-lover from your last post :)
ReplyDeleteIf you gave me a coupon for my birthday, I would happily accept.
ReplyDeleteWell, it depend on the coupon I guess.
If it was an expired coupon for foot cream or something, not so much. But if it was a valid coupon for the Cheesecake Factory or Applebees ot Dairy Queen? I'd be like "Hells yeah!"
ummmm, Allie? Has anyone told you what a genius you are? Because you have single-handedly just found a way out of the current economic crisis. You should run for something - I'd vote for you!
ReplyDeleteI got coupons as a tip when I was waiting tables in college. I was not impressed.
ReplyDeleteAllie, I love your depiction of lipstick.
ReplyDeleteI love also how down to Earth you are to never draw yourself as wearing lipstick.
Keep up the awesome comics! I like them, Alot! :)
What about those cute fake coupons I made for my parents when I was a kid (or last year, when I was broke.) You know, the "Good for one free chore with no complaints" or "Good for one free hug." Those were always awesome because essentially you were giving someone the gift of doing something you would have probably done anyway. But then you come out looking good. Because who's going to be like "NO! I don't want your hugs. Hugs are a stupid birthday present!."
ReplyDeletehow do u come up with this stuff???
ReplyDeleteYOU (and boyfriend for helping you ) ARE AWESOME...ur awesome the same way...... Tacos are awesome!!
please make a post about tacos again..but please put that i suggested it...i would die if my name was on ur site..u rock!!!
I will give someone fifty 20% coupons from Bed Bath & Beyond to see that stripper stunt. For reals, y'all. Fifty. As in 5-0. That's a lot of dough. Think it over.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a stripper, but if I were a stripper, I might accept gift certificates or Dr. Pepper coupons.
ReplyDeleteHah, good post. When I first saw it, I know there was going to be a picture about giving coupons with b-day cards xD
ReplyDeleteToo funny.
ReplyDeleteI would accept coupons as a birthday present. I mean, they really aren't THAT different from a gift card right? RIGHT?!
ReplyDeleteI tried to give my students coupons for good behvior, but they started behaving worse. So that would also be a "No" situation.
ReplyDeleteHilarious as always Allie.
I like to pronounce it 'coupins' like Ron White.
ReplyDelete*behavior
ReplyDeleteAwesome typo.
Know what is acceptable, though? Sending someone one of those tiny "Thinking of You" cards stuffed with coupons for things they use. You have to know them well, though. There is a difference between the message, "Hi, Mom! I was thinking of you the other day and also am giving you $0.55 off your next purchase of that particular kind of toothpaste you love" and the message, "Here, take these coupons."
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine once gave Taco Bell coupons to a stripper. She was angry at first until she saw where they were from. Then she wept tears of joy.
ReplyDeleteCoupons are like monopoly money, unfortunately. And just as useful as that fucking "Get Out Of Jail Free" card.
ReplyDeleteI wonder what a tree would say if one day it knew it would be hewn down to print coupons.
ReplyDeleteActually, I know what it would say.
To find out, visit:
iamyourblog.blogspot.com
Coupons! They're what's for Christmas this year. Get ready.
ReplyDeleteShort n sweet! You share my same view of not being able to stand people giving you coupons for your birthday/Christmas. I ALWAYS forget about them! :/
ReplyDeleteI once payed for a stripper with a coupon for a free Hep-C test...
ReplyDeleteI've always thought that tiddly-winks chips would be a pretty great form of currency. But I don't think anyone else shares this view.
ReplyDeleteI can make it work with the stripper. Trust me.
ReplyDeleteMy brother once got $150 in cash and coupons for shaving his head. I mean, others paid in cash and coupons for the opportunity to help. Wait, you shaved your head. You should charge next time around.
ReplyDeleteNext time I go to the doctor and I owe a bunch of money, I'm sending in pizza coupons.
ReplyDeleteThe electric company and insurance folks aren't really wild about getting coupons, either. Sort of like the whole barter economy thing- cable can't be paid with a chicken.
ReplyDeleteWoah!? So the girl from the coffee shop in the last comic is a stripper?
ReplyDeleteI once tipped a parking guy at the airport with a free burrito coupon. He seemed pleased.
ReplyDeleteMy poor boyfriend actually got coupons for his birthday just this year. From his parents no less! I think they're going senile >~<
ReplyDeleteI would accept a coupon for kitty litter, no problem.
ReplyDeleteYour blog makes me smile no matter how crappy a day I have had.
ReplyDeleteOh I love this!
ReplyDeleteI got coupons once with my birthday.
And scratchies.
Yeah, that was great.
Ha, totally
ReplyDeleteThere are never coupons for beer, either.
ReplyDeleteOh, the Anonymous commentor can go eat fried yak snot.
The Fred Effect: Am I Gay?
I totally tried to make it rain on a stripper with coupons from JoAnn Fabric. Not appreciated like I thought. Wish you would have written this sooner! You are awesome!
ReplyDeleteI love the birthday card guy "coupons? :C lol!
ReplyDeleteIts a great idea for that gift for someone you dont like but are obligated to get something for!!
I clicked on your Donate button and left you a coupon for free fries with next purchase of a Whopper (or equivalent). My charitable universe now knows no bounds.
ReplyDeleteI'm totally giving everyone I know coupons in cards for their birthday, Valentine's, and Christmas from now on. LOL Thanks for the great idea :D
ReplyDeleteI hate commenting this far down because I think you never read them past a certain point...probably right above my comment...love the stripper girl and pole, made me laugh hard.
ReplyDeleteWhere I work people will cut someone for a coupon, and that's sad.
ReplyDeleteMank I love your blog. And I get some kind of weird satisfaction from being from Montana just like you. Weird.
ReplyDeleteBack when I used to work at McDonald's, I totally tipped waitresses with coupons I stole from work and gave them out in Christmas cards. I always made sure they were for free things, though!
ReplyDeleteI had something super awesome to comment... but I've had a few too many drinks and just ate some awesome mac and cheese and then peppers and sausage and can't really remember what I was going to say.
ReplyDeleteIt had to do with relationships though... and it was important... so hopefully I remember it soon...
XD funny.
ReplyDeletebut...no blog post?
:( i like the TLDR. Your TLDR posts are awesome.
I've gotten coupons with birthday cards before, but they were more like those "You can get something for free just for stopping in!" kinda coupons. It's nicer than just a tacky card that doesn't seem to match your personality in any way at all.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of coupons... those value pack things you get in the mail - you know what I'm talking about. They design them in such a way that they look like some contest entry pamphlet and in huge letters it'll say "YOU HAVE $400" in large letters on the top, making you feel somewhat excited. Then you notice in the much smaller print below it says, "In Coupons Redeemable - blah blah blah" thus ruining your minimal excitement gained from getting the mail. I hate that. >:[
I loved this post and for it I offer you a coupon for buy one get one pint of Ben and Jerry's.
ReplyDeleteI choked on my drink laughing at the last panel. Best artistic rendering of a stripper EVER!
ReplyDeleteI choked on my drink laughing at the last panel. Best artistic rendering of a stripper EVER!
ReplyDeleteI never thought of handing one to a stripper...I wonder what would happen.
ReplyDeleteMy husband's mom gave him pizza coupons for his birthday this year. Which, in her defense, she's currently out of work and it was truly the best she could do, but even so, you pretty much nailed the look on his face when he opened the card. And now I can't stop laughing.
ReplyDeleteRETURN OF LASER-EYE WOMAN!
ReplyDeleteI laughed hard at that last one.. anyone tries to give a stripper a coupon is probably never seen again lol.
ReplyDeleteAllie, you are so FTW.
ReplyDeleteDANG!
ReplyDeleteTAX COUPONS TAX COUPONS!
ReplyDeleteOmg the birthday guy's "COUPONS?" face killed me dead. I can't ever scroll back up because my entire torso hurts too much from laughing.
ReplyDeleteI wish there were coupons for things I'd actually want. 20% off your next COBRA payment. Buy one new car, get the second one free. Etc.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Allie, your blog is awesome and you truly deserve title queen of the universe.
My first comment ever: OMGZ YR AWESOME!!!
ReplyDeleteSecond: We're in awe of your drawing skills over here. Simple, effective, and yet.... No drawing should be this primitive and still have such impact. I've laughed. I've cried. (When it came to the dog IQ test, I did both.)
Third: I apologize that this is a random comment, as I have nothing particular to say about coupons.
Good job, triangle hair.
ReplyDeleteI can't give insightful comments every time. Sometimes they can only be four words. Sorry.
Hardcore courage wolves love coupons... and hey, don't fret if one is expired, just do what the courage wolf in the image below would do...
ReplyDeletehttp://cdn.nextround.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/courage-wolf-17-560x560.jpg
I extremely enjoy knowing that the vegan coffee creeper's night job is stripping. Also that the same guy that doesn't want to talk to her loves to give her applebees coupons! :D
ReplyDeleteAllie, as much as these comics cracked me up, and even though the drawings are still amazing as always, I miss your 'old' art style a bit, from about 3 posts ago. I'm not sure about the colored backgrounds... I really loved the simplicity of the white backgrounds! It made all your drawings instantly recognizable! Love you.
ReplyDeleteScyllacat, I only found this place a couple weeks ago, but had the same thought about the drawings- so simple but so effectively conveying emotion and humor.
ReplyDeleteI happen to belong to another forum with a few strippers; I'm going to link this post and see what their reaction is. Actually, they've probably already seen it, since they're the ones who introduced me to Hyperbole and a Half in the first place!
Seriously, someone has the "Alot" as their avatar right now. :)
okay, someone said that strippers don't like applebees, they prefer denny's.
ReplyDeleteyou are clearly going to the wrong kind of strip club then. my father is a notorious dater/friend of strippers (my last step-mother was a stripper) and NONE OF THEM would step foot in a denny's. the only places i went to dinner with my dad and stripper-step-mom were steak houses where the cheapest steak on the menu was $26 and came with no sides.
she also made THE BEST thanksgiving turkey i ever had in my entire life. she did not take coupons, though.
http://justanotherwastedday.blogspot.com
The only time I was given coupons on holidays was when my grandma would give me those McDonald's coupons they sell for holidays and such - the ones that are like $5 worth of coupons for kids? Yeah, those.
ReplyDeleteI didn't mind them as a kid because yay free McDonald's treats!
And to be honest, I look at them now and feel a twinge of sadness that I won't be getting them anymore.
Hee. I like this.
ReplyDeleteMy mind is not set to Creative and Imaginative Commenting today.
i definitely gave my bff a coupon to red lobster for her birthday.
ReplyDeleteit was a good coupon, though!
"How about a gift card? Do strippers like those?"
ReplyDeleteYeah, but they can scratch.
I love how you draw the make-up. (^_^)
ReplyDeleteWonderful, and so true!
ReplyDeletePerfect.
ReplyDeleteHi Allie. Really love your blog. I was particularly excited to see this entry-- you see, my best friend and I really enjoy a good coupon. And while we fully agree on when it is appropriate/inappropirate to give or use a coupon, we can't agree on the pronunciation of coupon. So we'll let you break this stalemate-- what's your preference: koo-pon or kyoo-pon??? We love you. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteNow I want to try giving a stripper a coupon...just to see her reaction.
ReplyDeleteWait wait wait. Back up... are you saying strippers DON'T like coupons?
ReplyDeleteWait wait wait. Back up... are you saying strippers DON'T like coupons?
ReplyDeleteHey, Allie! What model tablet did you wind up getting? Are you pleased with it?
ReplyDelete--Kate.
http://arguingwithadoughnut.blogspot.com
50% off your next valtrex or abreva purchase might hold some value to a stripper
ReplyDeleteVery weak update. :S
ReplyDeleteMy parents send me an endless barrage of coupons from home, which is 800 miles a way. I dunno how many times I've explained to my parents that there is no such thing as Publix where I live.
ReplyDeleteHa!
ReplyDeleteI used to accept Applebee's coupons as a form of payment.
Now I kind of feel ripped off.
:O is it bad that I love coupons and wouldn't be sad to see them in a birthday card? I mean... you'd have to be kind of an asshole to give someone a coupon as a birthday present... but if you think about it... it's kind of like a gift card, but it just saves you money on the things you like instead of getting them for free. So actually not as awesome as I originally thought. Damn.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Allie, for bringing such clarity to my life.
coupons? wouldnt those little paper annoyances be considered non- eco- friendly? I as a mid to late twenties rely on the stupid loyalty cards... coupons are so yesterday lol
ReplyDeleteCoupons at a boob bar? Priceless! and so fiscally responsible, unless you're the dancer.
ReplyDeleteI have so totally been given a coupon as a gift by old ladies that went to my church, in college. It was endearing, but yea... anti-climactic.
ReplyDeleteI love your drawing of the pole dancer so much!
ReplyDeleteYou know, after having her stalk him in a cafetria, you'd think the fellow in orange would go out of his way to avoid the stripper, not provoke her with coupons. Some people never learn, do they.
ReplyDeletehttp://threateningloveletters.blogspot.com/
Whenever I use a coupon, I always tell 'em, "This is how Donald Trump did it, you know."
ReplyDeleteThose eyes...
ReplyDeleteAllie, your blog makes me smile when at times I feel I have nothing to smile about. I love the drawings and the witty stories. Both my parents are now dead: Mum died in 2008 and my dad died in July this year. Your blog has helped me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!
Jac
Coupons are the devil's one and only use of paper. He makes them and sends them up to earth so that people will spend hours and hours cutting them out and trying to use them in approproate/not appropriate situations. I did hear it's totally worth it to cut them out, but what if you're like really lazy, or forgetful, or just have trouble with responsibility and then you forget to use them by the deadline? Why would they ever expire? Because they're made by the devil, that's why.
ReplyDeleteAwesome post! but how do you guys pronounce the word "coupon"? Whenever I read the word the voice in my head cannot decide how it wants it to be pronounced and it is quite annoying since I then have to pronounce it both ways before continuing on in reading. haha
ReplyDeleteSo, is it pronounced
A) "queue"pon
B)"coo"pon
C) some other version i have not heard of.