My main concern with this forecast is not so much that the human population will have died out ... it's that we'll never get to watch the final season of LOST!
I'm pleased that Tuesday night is, on the whole, canceled. I'm just sorry my little vacation came at the behest of zombies who are so dreadful that they no longer deserve the certainty of when firestorms will spark their dried carcasses...
CNR - Well, it's a good thing you died that way. Firestorms would have been a considerably less pleasant way to go :)
Bevis - A zombie massacre would put an end to so many wonderful television programs. Also, those fuckers would probably drink all the orange juice.
Zaedah - The zombies had it coming. They should have thought about the possibility of being uniformed of firestorms before they ate everyone's brains. Though I must say, I echo your statement about Tuesday. I've always had it in for Tuesday.
Sarah P - Me too :( There's nothing like a zombie apocalypse followed by several firestorms to ruin a good month.
Kurt - It probably only happened because you're a zombie. Weathermen hate zombies.
Dennis - Thank you!
publicknitting - Oh, the zombies will get to you eventually. They have a way of spreading once they get out.
Sarah - I know! It's like a little pre-attack. Like God was all "Hamilton is going to be massacred by zombies... I should make it snow so they feel less bad about it..."
ahschmidt - I hear that living in Chicago is like being massacred by zombies every day!
Sarah - Old Navy sells wonderful fire-retardant bath-wear. I bought a robe there one time. It's such a wonderful feeling sitting around my house, knowing that I'm resistant to catching on fire!
Elly Lou - You're right. You can't kick snow's head in and make it go away. It pretty much does what it wants.
Anonanonanonanon - I took it as purposeful understatement, but then again it could have been like how my mom always comments on my posts where I almost die asking about whether or not I've been to the dentist lately. Seriously. It happened twice.
Chicago is full of geese and zombies, which I am pretty sure means that there are zombie-geese too, but I feel it is better not to think about that sort of thing.
This just gets worse by the updated comment. Taking over the world and killing us all until we're dead is one thing, but a lack of personal boundaries, and a total absence of any kind of respect for history, society norms, and imported orange juice that I ordered in ESPECIALLY because it contains real fruit juice and the secret ingredient is lead IS QUITE ANOTHER.
I shall be writing a sternly worded letter for the zombies who massacre me and my family tonight to find as they search the house for our cats (to have as an after-dinner treat).
Also, ahschmidt makes a good point. Geese have been able to survive and thrive in this world all too easily. Wouldn't it be nice if the zombies took them out first, just so we can die with a smile on our faces, knowing that we outlasted those horrible, horrible creatures? Or better yet, what if we sic the geese onto the zombies?
OMG, OMG, OMG!! Maybe the geese could end up being our last line of defense and our only hope against the invading walking dead! (I'd hate to have to refer to geese as our saviours forevermore, though.)
And with that, being just past 3am here (which is painfully obvious by my above rambling), I depart for beds unknown. (Okay, it'll be my bed.)
And yes, I'm aware that the point ahschmidt was making does not resemble the one I appeared to credit him/her with a moment ago. Let's all just deal, shall we?
Yeah, no, all we have to do is tell the geese and snakes "you guys win as top species now!" and give them our houses. Then the zombies will come in there, like, busting out the hastily nailed boards over the windows and stuff and be all "brains brains" and then guess what? We'll be safely burrowing in snake holes or flying around honking loudly. And safely.
Hey you know what I learned yesterday from a Tom Waits album? Ants have the biggest brains of any animal in proportion to their body so maybe we should just tell the zombies that, and they'll be all into eating ants instead of humans. In the rain.
I'm really concerned about some things. Is there a zombie forecast that predicts how long it will take this zombie outbreak to get to where I live? I would like to have a chance to stock up on plenty of toilet paper and bread before that happens.
I'm not ok with zombies taking over the world this week. Can it wait until next week or put a wall around your town to make sure they stay there and not run rampant?
LOL I only hope for your bf's sake you write crazier than you act., you and your posters are insane. I am so glad I stumbled on you a couple of weeks ago.
I was listening to some music on Pandora and an ad came on so I went to that tab to look at it and it said "Why ads?" but I thought it said "Why AIDS?" and I thought..why not?
I am infinitely amused! This is what happens when I read this blog: It's so funny I want to laugh, but then I think "I'm sitting alone with my computer in public, I shouldn't laugh creepily aloud to myself", so I try to stifle the laugh, but it's already too late, and it just ends up coming out of my nose as a sort of mutated giggle/snort and it turns out people find that even more creepy than actual laughing...
I knew it! You're from Hamilton! I recognized the yoga studio. I spent all of last summer in Hamilton and probably will spend next summer there as well. Your blog has kept me entertained through 4 hours of work so far, and I'm pretty sure because of you, I will never have to be bored at work again. Hoorah!
I hate Zombies! They give me nightmares. But I think the sweetest revenge will be when they find out our brains are reduced to slimey mush, due to years of watching the Boob Tube.
I die, I die, I die! This post is getting bookmarked for future hilarity.
ReplyDeleteMy main concern with this forecast is not so much that the human population will have died out ... it's that we'll never get to watch the final season of LOST!
ReplyDelete:(
PS - This is BRILLIANT!
I'm pleased that Tuesday night is, on the whole, canceled. I'm just sorry my little vacation came at the behest of zombies who are so dreadful that they no longer deserve the certainty of when firestorms will spark their dried carcasses...
ReplyDeletePoor zombies. No weather.
Damn it. I was hoping February would be better.
ReplyDeleteI hate when they leave Snake Quality out of the forecast.
ReplyDeleteAWESOME! Laughed so hard.
ReplyDeleteWow, Atlanta is super unexciting. All we have in our forecast is chance of rain. And heavy wind.
ReplyDeleteugh, 30% chance of snow tonight? balls.
ReplyDeleteIts still better than the weather in Chicago. Just sayin.
ReplyDeleteWTF do I wear to a firestorm?
ReplyDeleteFucking zombies.
Gimme Zombies over snow any day. I'm still on the fence on Firestorms though.
ReplyDeletesarah said...
ReplyDeleteugh, 30% chance of snow tonight? balls.
Hmm, I think somebody may have missed the point ...
CNR - Well, it's a good thing you died that way. Firestorms would have been a considerably less pleasant way to go :)
ReplyDeleteBevis - A zombie massacre would put an end to so many wonderful television programs. Also, those fuckers would probably drink all the orange juice.
Zaedah - The zombies had it coming. They should have thought about the possibility of being uniformed of firestorms before they ate everyone's brains. Though I must say, I echo your statement about Tuesday. I've always had it in for Tuesday.
Sarah P - Me too :( There's nothing like a zombie apocalypse followed by several firestorms to ruin a good month.
Kurt - It probably only happened because you're a zombie. Weathermen hate zombies.
Dennis - Thank you!
publicknitting - Oh, the zombies will get to you eventually. They have a way of spreading once they get out.
Sarah - I know! It's like a little pre-attack. Like God was all "Hamilton is going to be massacred by zombies... I should make it snow so they feel less bad about it..."
ahschmidt - I hear that living in Chicago is like being massacred by zombies every day!
Sarah - Old Navy sells wonderful fire-retardant bath-wear. I bought a robe there one time. It's such a wonderful feeling sitting around my house, knowing that I'm resistant to catching on fire!
Even the orange juice that I left CLEARLY LABELLED WITH MY NAME ON IT?
ReplyDeleteI hate that.
Elly Lou - You're right. You can't kick snow's head in and make it go away. It pretty much does what it wants.
ReplyDeleteAnonanonanonanon - I took it as purposeful understatement, but then again it could have been like how my mom always comments on my posts where I almost die asking about whether or not I've been to the dentist lately. Seriously. It happened twice.
Bevis - Zombies don't give a shit about your personal boundaries.
ReplyDeleteChicago is full of geese and zombies, which I am pretty sure means that there are zombie-geese too, but I feel it is better not to think about that sort of thing.
ReplyDeleteThis just gets worse by the updated comment. Taking over the world and killing us all until we're dead is one thing, but a lack of personal boundaries, and a total absence of any kind of respect for history, society norms, and imported orange juice that I ordered in ESPECIALLY because it contains real fruit juice and the secret ingredient is lead IS QUITE ANOTHER.
ReplyDeleteI shall be writing a sternly worded letter for the zombies who massacre me and my family tonight to find as they search the house for our cats (to have as an after-dinner treat).
Also, ahschmidt makes a good point. Geese have been able to survive and thrive in this world all too easily. Wouldn't it be nice if the zombies took them out first, just so we can die with a smile on our faces, knowing that we outlasted those horrible, horrible creatures? Or better yet, what if we sic the geese onto the zombies?
OMG, OMG, OMG!! Maybe the geese could end up being our last line of defense and our only hope against the invading walking dead! (I'd hate to have to refer to geese as our saviours forevermore, though.)
And with that, being just past 3am here (which is painfully obvious by my above rambling), I depart for beds unknown. (Okay, it'll be my bed.)
And yes, I'm aware that the point ahschmidt was making does not resemble the one I appeared to credit him/her with a moment ago. Let's all just deal, shall we?
ReplyDeleteYeah, no, all we have to do is tell the geese and snakes "you guys win as top species now!" and give them our houses. Then the zombies will come in there, like, busting out the hastily nailed boards over the windows and stuff and be all "brains brains" and then guess what? We'll be safely burrowing in snake holes or flying around honking loudly. And safely.
ReplyDeleteHey you know what I learned yesterday from a Tom Waits album? Ants have the biggest brains of any animal in proportion to their body so maybe we should just tell the zombies that, and they'll be all into eating ants instead of humans. In the rain.
I'm really concerned about some things. Is there a zombie forecast that predicts how long it will take this zombie outbreak to get to where I live? I would like to have a chance to stock up on plenty of toilet paper and bread before that happens.
ReplyDeleteI love the passive aggression against the murderous zombies.
ReplyDeleteDo zombies read though, let alone navigate the internet?
I guess we're gonna find out the hard way...
Damn...I knew this was going to be a shitty week. Time to firestorm proof the apartment now...I wonder how much that'll cost?
ReplyDeleteIs this post a precursor to something very bad?
ReplyDeleteI'm not ok with zombies taking over the world this week. Can it wait until next week or put a wall around your town to make sure they stay there and not run rampant?
At least there's no bears in the forecast.
ReplyDeleteZombies hate bears too.
Oh god this is so awesome, I have to show this to my best friend who is in love with zombies.
ReplyDeletePS. Recent follower of your blog! And I'm never ever leaving. (:
Kayla
cinnamonontoast.blogspot.com
LMAO. You are brillant.
ReplyDeleteWow. Just. Wow.
ReplyDeleteIs the firestorm confined to Hamilton? Or will it engulf the rest of the world too?
ReplyDeleteSuggestion
ReplyDeleteI want visibility(Lower right corner) changed to "WTF"..
LOL I only hope for your bf's sake you write crazier than you act., you and your posters are insane. I am so glad I stumbled on you a couple of weeks ago.
ReplyDeleteWell shit. I was totally gonna color my hair on Tuesday night. Thanks a lot, zombies. You assholes.
ReplyDeleteI was listening to some music on Pandora and an ad came on so I went to that tab to look at it and it said "Why ads?" but I thought it said "Why AIDS?" and I thought..why not?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad the zombiepocalypse is hitting the US first. It'll give me time to catch up on The Mentalist before it hits Blighty.
ReplyDeleteHey Allie, I gave you an award on my blog! Check it out- it's in the post "an award!"
ReplyDeleteI am infinitely amused! This is what happens when I read this blog: It's so funny I want to laugh, but then I think "I'm sitting alone with my computer in public, I shouldn't laugh creepily aloud to myself", so I try to stifle the laugh, but it's already too late, and it just ends up coming out of my nose as a sort of mutated giggle/snort and it turns out people find that even more creepy than actual laughing...
ReplyDeleteI loved this post when it originally was posted, but now I love it more because it's represented by zombie-bevis. So appropriate!
ReplyDeleteI knew it! You're from Hamilton! I recognized the yoga studio. I spent all of last summer in Hamilton and probably will spend next summer there as well. Your blog has kept me entertained through 4 hours of work so far, and I'm pretty sure because of you, I will never have to be bored at work again. Hoorah!
ReplyDeleteI hate Zombies! They give me nightmares. But I think the sweetest revenge will be when they find out our brains are reduced to slimey mush, due to years of watching the Boob Tube.
ReplyDeleteI think I'm more insulted that zombies would only eat my brains and leave the rest of me to rot. I mean, honestly, I'm not fat for nothing...(pouts)
ReplyDeleteSo late in commenting, but we just played a game of Apples to Apples and I used "firestorm" as a word for "quick." I think I won.
ReplyDelete