tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post7227291831258556015..comments2024-03-18T13:15:52.672-06:00Comments on Hyperbole and a Half: I Bet This is How All Great Writers Come Up With Fresh Ideas...Alliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04259303604002690708noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-83279339899287793002010-08-26T11:20:24.356-06:002010-08-26T11:20:24.356-06:00Bruce to the rescue! I enjoyed your comments abou...Bruce to the rescue! I enjoyed your comments about random things. I felt the need to point out that that they do make staplers for larger sized stacks of papers. They are really kick ass and can go through a whole LOT of paper all at once and even a finger! Go on, ask me how I know!<br /><br />PS: I still haven't figured out what I am supposed to be doing today, so I am going to keep reading and commenting until something changes.r3https://www.blogger.com/profile/12563123753617460003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-44430243871163726372010-08-22T11:18:17.001-06:002010-08-22T11:18:17.001-06:00I know this is an older post, but I feel a civic d...I know this is an older post, but I feel a civic duty to share my invented stapler technique. (It's probably more of a discovery, but I like "invented" better because it makes me sound like a go-getter)<br /><br />OK, so take your papers and separate them into two piles. Staple each pile on its own, but a little farther into the page than you normally would. Then stack the two piles and staple the middle 50% using half from each of the already stapled piles. Is it an elegant solution? No. Is it a cheap solution for a grad student who doesn't want to invest in a second, larger stapler? Absolutely. As they say, "poverty brought on by the crippling cost of education in this country is the mother of invention."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-70080166654448845932010-04-09T19:14:14.650-06:002010-04-09T19:14:14.650-06:00Allie, Fail doesn't know shite from shinola. ...Allie, Fail doesn't know shite from shinola. Any creative writing instructor will tell you that the most important thing is ~TO WRITE~. It isn't all golden, but the more you stretch and keep on writing, the better it all gets. Keep writing, keep posting, and I'll keep reading.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-2577419081952038182010-04-06T15:22:16.093-06:002010-04-06T15:22:16.093-06:00ps. I love tang.ps. I love tang.Jensyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05511418504952408920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-23115603542012249232010-04-06T13:20:28.934-06:002010-04-06T13:20:28.934-06:00Reading FAIL's comment made me feel like when ...Reading FAIL's comment made me feel like when I go on RottenTomatoes.com to read movie reviews before I go the theater. But then I regret it because all of the reviews are by a bunch of pretentious wannabe movie critic nobodies who couldn't enjoy a movie if their lives depended on it because their heads are so far up their own asses. But for some reason I keep reading anyway, feeling more and more enraged and sad for these people, because if you can't sit back and enjoy a little Mighty Ducks 3, what do you even have to live for in this world? <br /><br />I finally have to stop reading when I get to a bad review about Short Circuit 2, because you know what? Maybe there were a couple of racist undertones, and maybe Steve Guttenberg was woefully absent, but Johnny 5 has a goddam heart of gold. And remember that part where those assholes beat Johnny 5 up, and then he gets away but he's bleeding pretty bad, and then Fred the scientist finds him but is pretty sure he's going to die, but then he's ok and by this time you are crying like a baby on your living room couch because, holy crap this movie is so damn beautiful. And then Johnny 5 brings those effers to justice.<br /><br />My point is, people like "Fail" talk about how Emilio Estevez's performance in "Bobby" was so brilliant and that he's "so much better" than "Mighty Ducks 3". But that's bullshit because Mighty Ducks 3 totally teaches us about teamwork, and not judging a book by it's cover, and that when do gang vocals of "We are the Champions" it is the most epically triumphant thing that has ever happened. And we would all be better people if we learned some of those lessons a little more, right? Emilio wasn't all about Mighty Ducks 3 because it was the most brilliant work ever, it's because he knew when he and Charlie were nodding and smiling knowingly at one another when they won the championship, that that shit was pure gold. <br /><br />It's the same with you Allie. I suspect that you don't write every blog post thinking "I hope this is my most brilliant writing yet!!! This one is the Pulitzer winner.. I just know it!". I bet you write it thinking "Hey, I think these things about stuff, maybe other people think them too." or "This could be at least mildly entertaining to the people who come to visit my page every day". <br />And you know what Allie? I DO think those things too about HDtv and whiteout. And I AM entertained by your witty observations.<br /><br />Don't be like "Fail" Allie, be like Emilio. You are awesome.Jensyhttp://jens_a_ten@hotmail.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-26119293747010341162010-04-04T12:24:48.408-06:002010-04-04T12:24:48.408-06:00holy shit - i have that same couch from pier 1! h...holy shit - i have that same couch from pier 1! hahaha...and here i thought it was your hilarious blog that kept me reading, but in actuality, it was only the power of the puke green couch connection that lured me on...that in itself, is awesomeness.LLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04945577462019000718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-82871632948975747642009-11-04T20:05:13.130-07:002009-11-04T20:05:13.130-07:00"Commercials for HDtv are pretty pointless. ..."Commercials for HDtv are pretty pointless. They show you an image that is supposed to be in HD, but if you don’t have HDtv, it just looks like what your regular TV looks like and you won’t really be that impressed. Only people who already have HDtv’s will be able to fully appreciate HDtv commercials. Maybe that’s the angle they are going for: “If you want to be impressed by this commercial, you have to buy an HDtv. Then you can watch this commercial to reassure yourself that you made the right decision.” "<br /><br />I, too have thought about this.slipbananapeelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00332232015001020740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-6351738259429612562009-11-03T17:33:03.474-07:002009-11-03T17:33:03.474-07:00you are totally right about the toritllas!! Every ...you are totally right about the toritllas!! Every time I try to wrap one and spill half the meat out, I will remember that!!Roshnihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01107573625336456428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-14943406671784057482009-11-03T16:48:28.344-07:002009-11-03T16:48:28.344-07:00Fail is an intellectual troll. That's cute.Fail is an intellectual troll. That's cute.NutellaonToasthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09524357022370926931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-35973813141032588652009-11-03T15:41:44.173-07:002009-11-03T15:41:44.173-07:00Bruce is awesome. The End.Bruce is awesome. The End.Deidrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14993934232617420348noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-4928577374635609442009-11-03T14:40:13.748-07:002009-11-03T14:40:13.748-07:00I am a douchebag, but I'm also right. Great wr...I am a douchebag, but I'm also right. Great writers have a distinctive voice - and you have a distinctive voice, too, Allie. When you work so hard at it, you lose your voice and your writing suffers. You're actually fucking brilliant and posts like this one make me want to scream because you're better than this. Way better.<br /><br />The people who say this post is as funny as the others are either A) lying to make you feel good (which means they aren't being helpful) or B) tone deaf. If they're tone deaf, they can't tell the difference between a piece written by Chris Rock, David Sadaris or Mark Twain - all wickedly funny but vastly different writers.<br /><br />Stick with what you do brilliantly and don't sell out. If it doesn't make <i>you</i> laugh, it's not funny. I would bet you 1,000 Bruce suits that writing this didn't make you laugh.FAILnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-28589135350847293162009-11-03T14:10:50.991-07:002009-11-03T14:10:50.991-07:00Allie, it sounds like you need to start making som...Allie, it sounds like you need to start making some more Bruce outfits and sell them to people. You can market it with many different angles: halloween costume, birthday parties, weddings, a self-esteem booster, S&M videos, etc. The possibilities are endless.<br /><br />I think we should start a sweatshop and start pumping these suckers out. <br /><br />I love you and I'll see you when I get home.<br /><br />Love,<br />BoyfriendDuncanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00772454672297688431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-35422236698003165532009-11-03T13:42:59.734-07:002009-11-03T13:42:59.734-07:00Steamy sent me.
She said you give good head.
err...Steamy sent me.<br /><br />She said you give good head.<br /><br />err....or have a good head on your shoulders....or something.<br /><br />I've got chronic selective hearing.Edhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11425014053974689270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-29377341302524997832009-11-03T12:43:48.898-07:002009-11-03T12:43:48.898-07:00FAIL is a douchebag. You made me laugh. And also I...FAIL is a douchebag. You made me laugh. And also I want you to put up instructions for how to make Bruce ... like a Martha Stewart craft pattern or something.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-27583337919071219462009-11-03T11:52:14.437-07:002009-11-03T11:52:14.437-07:00Dude, that is totally how great writers come up wi...Dude, that is <em>totally</em> how great writers come up with shit. You wanna write my NaNoWriMo book for me? 'Cause I'm too busy basking in your awesomeness to come up with a story.<br /><br />Oh, and I drew you a picture when you were feeling bad but I think I sent it after you lost interwebs, because you never wrote me back and I cried and now I feel like I'm a loser. Unless you didn't write me back because I <em>am</em> a loser, in which case, okay. Because I still love you, and I will pretend that you are my best friend anyway.<br /><br />And you should go and edit Fail's post, because he was just confused and what he really meant to say was that he loves and adores you and wants to be your slave for all time.<br /><br />You're the bestest Allie-McNallie!Amberhttp://blog.amccopydesign.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-82154619182238371782009-11-03T10:14:33.173-07:002009-11-03T10:14:33.173-07:00There are, in fact, industrial staplers. But I onl...There are, in fact, industrial staplers. But I only found that out in recent years, so don't feel bad.<br /><br />The toilet paper thing was hilarious and most likely accurate.Alysonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05318995922395308120noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-81906288371690986552009-11-03T09:01:18.515-07:002009-11-03T09:01:18.515-07:00Who left a hurtful comment and what did it say? Yo...Who left a hurtful comment and what did it say? You need me to kick someone's ass because I can do that. No really, I'm only 5'2 and that's as far as I can reach. [Let me guess, this person was anonymous? That's usually how it works on the Intergeek.]<br /><br />When things get mean, just repeat my favorite motto: "You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have - the Facts Of Life, the Facts Of Life!"Sherrihttp://www.blogsareforlosers.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-61910302377883862572009-11-03T08:16:02.433-07:002009-11-03T08:16:02.433-07:00Chex are pretty good...until you realize they basi...Chex are pretty good...until you realize they basically taste like nothing.JUST MEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15663723046451628228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-19284281064005324362009-11-03T08:15:32.003-07:002009-11-03T08:15:32.003-07:00Wazzup with the haters? Jerks.
So, when we were i...Wazzup with the haters? Jerks.<br /><br />So, when we were in college, my husband (who was my bf then) used to use a rarely used bathroom on the third floor of the library. (Everyone needs a quiet place to read.)<br />Anyway, one day, he unrolled the fresh toilet paper roll about halfway, and wrote on one square, "God hates you." Then, he rolled it back up perfectly, so no one would notice it had been unrolled.<br />I think it would have been worse if it the toilet paper had teddy bears and rainbows on it. The person who found his message might have felt really bad about himself.<br />Hmmm. This makes me question the decision to marry him.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07322539753627427466noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-40977087021422870852009-11-03T07:00:47.358-07:002009-11-03T07:00:47.358-07:00You loveable weirdo! So Bruce is your power animal...You loveable weirdo! So Bruce is your power animal?<br /><br />Oh and I agree on the toilet paper thing. The idea of destroying something beautiful is rather appealing. Plus it's a much better option than wiping your ass on a puppy.Chris Goochhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14634227282244052213noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-1639317471397370332009-11-03T05:35:39.307-07:002009-11-03T05:35:39.307-07:00First, all uber talented people (such as yourself)...First, all uber talented people (such as yourself) are hated by those less than..<br />Second, I love Bruce.. Does Bruce have a brother?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-66788184155998676852009-11-02T21:59:44.001-07:002009-11-02T21:59:44.001-07:00James, welcome to the internet. While your indign...James, welcome to the internet. While your indignant upbraiding of the troll was quite thoughtful and gallant, it was most likely pointless.<br /><br />Those of us that have been here for several minutes or more have learned that the only thing more annoying than trolls are people who engage with them.<br /><br />Similarly, this post is really annoying for engaging with you.<br /><br />It is my hope that I draw my own lecture on proper behavior and we can bounce around like a photon between two mirrors for the rest of time.<br /><br />Love<br /><br />Someone who doesn't use their real name either cause they're a god damn coward and are very scared that James might be the James we know from Quantum.NutellaonToasthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09524357022370926931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-83533240227199923582009-11-02T21:18:10.771-07:002009-11-02T21:18:10.771-07:00So, I have something worthwhile to say this time.
...So, I have something worthwhile to say this time.<br /><br />I've tried rectangular tortillas. They suck. Those corners that the round versions leave off? Totally fucking wasted. You bite down at one end and it's like 'dammit, my burrito is bean-less', because you basically get a mouthful of tortilla. Which is great if you're lazy and it's too much trouble to throw away that moldy half-used can of beans in the fridge and get new ones so you just have a tortilla instead, but sucks if you actually TOOK THE TIME to make yourself a burrito, and the only tortillas you could find were rectangular ones made for wraps/rollups, and you DON'T GET ANY DELICIOUS BURRITO PART with your bite. <br /><br />I think that sentence should have been about five. Sentences. Rather than one.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07609656135383940401noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-70009388731633946432009-11-02T20:43:47.402-07:002009-11-02T20:43:47.402-07:00Also I need a Bruce! Maybe not a dragon costume sp...Also I need a Bruce! Maybe not a dragon costume specifically, but a confidence enhancing thing is awesomeness. The closest I have are my kickass boots...they're very pointy! I would totally love to kick Fail with them!!Canoncowgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06178961344279501635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-48025027173467036122009-11-02T20:40:35.095-07:002009-11-02T20:40:35.095-07:00I totally agree with everything you just said. Mos...I totally agree with everything you just said. Mostly beceause you're a genious. Why don't they make square tortillas?? I feel like there's money to be made with that idea. Not so much the furnature jewelry, but it's a good thought lol<br /><br />What is it with you getting attacked by trolls lately?? Jeezus!! You might want to change the comment settings so that only users with accounts can post, that should help. You'll still get trolls like mr douchetective or whatever but then we can turn around and troll the hell out of them right back. <br /><br />Ps my phone suggested "Jew" instead of " jewelry". What the fuck is a furnature Jew?Canoncowgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06178961344279501635noreply@blogger.com