tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post2923777767525221061..comments2024-03-18T13:15:52.672-06:00Comments on Hyperbole and a Half: DinosaurAlliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04259303604002690708noreply@blogger.comBlogger122125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-90904174413409335552010-08-24T23:28:11.321-06:002010-08-24T23:28:11.321-06:00im sorry that hapend to you but man that was funny...im sorry that hapend to you but man that was funny i live near a duck pond and yeah gease are pretty scary ive taken my boyfreind there and he'd never seen one before hes pretty scared of them to and i wish i could have been there to help you i own some birds so im not to affraid of birds anymore and i saved my cousin from a duck once so i would have been happy to help you and also that video was soo funnycorynnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14399823906490748605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-67097708923614709622010-08-23T23:30:28.695-06:002010-08-23T23:30:28.695-06:00This is hilarious. I think it's a Chinese goo...This is hilarious. I think it's a Chinese goose. They're notoriously fierce and smart, so people sometimes use them as guard geese (no, really!)Katenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-42107925544643605682010-08-23T21:54:50.370-06:002010-08-23T21:54:50.370-06:00Great post. Wish I could see the video right now-s...Great post. Wish I could see the video right now-silly phone. Just glad the gf. didn't read this before I took her to feed some geese a few weeks ago. It was pretty freaky when this horde of thirty geese came over the hillside en mass like an invading army. It all went pretty well except when they got to close to her sandaled feet. Told her to throw her bread further away from herself and I really didn't mean for my bread to land so close to her. Will have to send you some pics of us surrounded by geese next time I am on the computer.catlsthttp://catlst.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-25460520750604354602010-08-23T19:08:50.834-06:002010-08-23T19:08:50.834-06:00Bump! I just started following your blog. You'...Bump! I just started following your blog. You're brilliant.<br /><br />I was chased by a flock of scary geese as a child. Your well-drawn cartoon is no joke. They will fuck you up.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09870095934762566487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-60777205383524047902010-08-23T19:06:28.966-06:002010-08-23T19:06:28.966-06:00Bump! I just started following your blog. You'...Bump! I just started following your blog. You're brilliant.<br /><br />And I was chased by a flock of scary geese as a child. Your well-drawn cartoon is no joke. They will fuck you up.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09870095934762566487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-70949952996761076442010-08-23T17:58:21.887-06:002010-08-23T17:58:21.887-06:00I've been attacked by geese. TWICE.I've been attacked by geese. TWICE.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-8800706681760602622010-08-23T15:14:45.745-06:002010-08-23T15:14:45.745-06:00I was reading through your archives and when I rea...I was reading through your archives and when I read this it must have been fate. This is the conversation I had with my husband yesterday:<br /><br />Me: “Ha ha there’s a flock of geese crossing the road over there.”<br /><br />Him: “Did you say FLOCK?”<br /><br />Me: “Yes, flock.”<br /><br />Him: “I thought for a second you said ‘fuck.’ “<br /><br />Him: “You know as mean as geese are it SHOULD be ‘a fuck of geese.’”<br /><br />Him: “Ah fuck! It’s a fuck of geese!”<br /><br />Him: [pretend pointing] “Hey look, there goes a flying fuck!”<br /><br />Me: [laughter]amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09765968705063691506noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-31297760557249633292010-08-23T11:51:28.102-06:002010-08-23T11:51:28.102-06:00I live on a farm, and we've had geese. You'...I live on a farm, and we've had geese. You're right, they're evil. However, should you ever be attacked by one again, grab then right around the base of their skull with one hand, and at the juncture of a wing and their body with another. Be aware they can still flog you, but not bite that way. <br /><br />I feel for you. And I literally laughed out loud. And fwiw, not a wild goose, likely an African male, have no idea how it would have wound up in an urban/suburban neighborhood unless someone who breeds them for exhibition lost one out of his truck somewhow...MizGreenJeanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04340133823856453489noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-58945092468344636762010-08-23T11:20:31.143-06:002010-08-23T11:20:31.143-06:00As scared as I am of the (evil) rain doves that (i...As scared as I am of the (evil) rain doves that (intentionally, I'm sure)"fall" (fling themselves) down the chimney, I just can't IMAGINE how terrified I'd be of a raptor-goose LOOSE in the house!!! Total EEEKKK factor!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-44896178691161108112010-08-22T17:49:08.317-06:002010-08-22T17:49:08.317-06:00Oh dear jesus...I have encountered this exact type...Oh dear jesus...I have encountered this exact type of goose before. With the fucked up lump in its head. I was being a good child once and volunteering at a farm in my town, feeding the little animals. With a horrifying pig the size of my sofa (with tusks, too!) in that place, I hadn't even given the goose a single thought. Then when I went to give it its lettuce or cabbage or whatever they were feeding it, it chased me down, honking, and tried to kill me. Even after I threw its vegetables at it. To top it off, it had the same name as me. It was like it was mocking me. Congratulations on trapping the beast...Madisonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-76454129550365908212010-08-22T04:24:30.687-06:002010-08-22T04:24:30.687-06:00My fiancee made me read this to her tonight. I lau...My fiancee made me read this to her tonight. I laughed so much that I cried. And then threw up. Twice.Sarinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-33455980330076564672010-04-11T02:09:13.343-06:002010-04-11T02:09:13.343-06:00Okay I lied to you...NOW I have never laughed so h...Okay I lied to you...NOW I have never laughed so hard reading a blog. My roommate was sideways on the couch laughing even as I was bending over my laptop, futilely attempting to keep my stomach from exploding. Once again Thank You Ally.Daionoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-7659129499671824482010-04-10T20:55:58.053-06:002010-04-10T20:55:58.053-06:00Hello -- I've been lurking here for a few week...Hello -- I've been lurking here for a few weeks.<br /><br />Geese are mean and scary -- swans, too -- but man, what a hilarious story!<br /><br />Once, as a third-grader walking home from school, I was chased through the streets by a woodchuck. It turned out to be somebody's pet that had gotten loose, and I was probably never in any real danger, but all my eight-year-old self saw was a giant galloping rat-thing with huge incisors hell-bent on running me to ground.stiobhanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06323233281896525224noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-77215439301941809502010-04-09T07:08:43.087-06:002010-04-09T07:08:43.087-06:00You know the interesting thing is that what the gu...You know the interesting thing is that what the guy said in Jurassic Park is true - all birds evolved from dinosaurs (I asked a real paleontologist and he explained the whole evolutionary timeline). Velociraptors were basically just early giant featherless birds, and bird behaviors evolved from those of the highly social, predatory "raptors" (which incidentally means "bird"). So in conclusion, you are not only justified but biologically accurate in calling your goose attacker a dinosaur.the witch's bwewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08528448695474692900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-32955316548061652582010-04-09T00:41:00.997-06:002010-04-09T00:41:00.997-06:00Yes! It's about time someone got the word out ...Yes! It's about time someone got the word out about geese! They are EVIL. <br /><br />You should see the ones that live on Town Lake here in Austin. Their beaks are all misshapen and look like they have tumors in them. It's disgusting! And there's a swimming hole right by where they swim and they stand by the fence and terrorize all the babies who walk up to look at them. One time I was dangling my feet off the end of the dock and they were swimming below and they started grabbing the cuffs of my jeans with their beaks and pulling hard.<br /><br />Moral of the story: I like your blog.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17186706404707549459noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-38840233477385521832010-04-08T04:40:33.134-06:002010-04-08T04:40:33.134-06:00This post literally made my day...I've had a s...This post literally made my day...I've had a shitty day at work and out of boredom found your blog. After gathering sage advice about the nature of nahdles and the danger of bears, I read this post - I have never laughed so much at anything ever in the world (possible hyperbole there). The customers now think I'm a little insane because I'm laughing to myself in a corner, and this is also helping to stop them asking me moronic questions. And so I salute you.Lirindilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07311934960299148493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-26244139361813090532010-04-06T14:26:50.701-06:002010-04-06T14:26:50.701-06:00I got bit by a Canadian Goose when I was on a fiel...I got bit by a Canadian Goose when I was on a field trip in kindergarten.<br /><br />Seriously. 20 years later-- still effing afraid of geese. And birds really. I have this fear that they will peck my eyes out. Just sayin.danielleesmenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-86523019057562958432010-04-05T14:58:02.164-06:002010-04-05T14:58:02.164-06:00Once i was able to stop crying from laughter and c...Once i was able to stop crying from laughter and compose myself, i remembered one time me and my sister had a run-in with geese. Our town house had a fenced in back yard that was at the top of an incline and at the bottom about 50 feet away was a lake. Full of geese. Not like yours. That bitch takes the cake. But still not pleasant geese that you want to invite to tea. Somehow me and my sister got it into our heads that we were going to lure the geese into out back yard. So we grab the 2 loaves of bread from the kitchen and we drop pieces from the edge of the lake up the hill, into out back yard, across the yard, right to the back door. At that point, we weren't sure what to do and their were about 20 angry geese who expected more bread walking towards us and making that sound that geese make so we ran into the house, taking the bread with us, and of course not shutting the door. So these geese are in my mom's room which is what was on the other side of the door, and they were trying to eat the things in her room because we had basically promised them bread and in their minds it was time to take revenge. So they were tearing the stuffing out of pillows and shitting EVERYWHERE and still making that noise. ME and my sister went upstairs into the kitchen, put back what was left of the bread, and sat down at the table and pretended like nothing had happened. My mom walks in the front door, hears the squeals, and stares at us. Just stares. So we stared back at her. It felt like we were staring at each other for a week, but it was probably only like 3 seconds. So she walks downstairs, and does one of those Wilhelm Screams, runs upstairs, and grabs a broom and an oven mitt. Then she realized that was probably the worst idea ever, so she got on the phone and called her boyfriend. He called some friends, and they all came over and led the geese back down with bread. Why that didn't occur to us I really don't know. All the geese were gone in less than an hour. The aftermath looked like a war zone, and we were deemed responsible which meant that we got to clean up the mess. I really wish we had taken a picture. FUCK GEESE.blumenthalthomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08599581684359829922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-49860297660653610682010-04-04T12:29:09.037-06:002010-04-04T12:29:09.037-06:00A good friend turned me on to your blog the other ...A good friend turned me on to your blog the other day ("A better pain rating scale"). He truly is a 'good' friend for having done this. Wicked funny shit. <br /><br />Your goose-capades caught my eye; a girl I work with was chased by a goose at work just last week. It actually chased her across the back parking lot and in the door. I thought she could share in your pain/laugh at your plight, having experienced something similar, so I sent her a link. Hopefully she'll enjoy it as much as I have.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-57168602734762912472010-04-03T14:53:02.883-06:002010-04-03T14:53:02.883-06:00You have instilled a HUGE fear of geese deep insid...You have instilled a HUGE fear of geese deep inside of me that I don't think will ever go away. Here is a short story that will help you understand.<br /><br />I live in an apartment building, and my apartment is on the lowest floor. Most people would call it 'the shitty basement apartment.' The windows in my apartment are at approximately ground level. Since the weather has gotten nicer and it's been warmer, we've been leaving our bedroom window open for the past few nights.<br />The other night, my boyfriend and I could hear a wild razorbeaked goose-devil machine evil scary monster outside my building, and I thought I was going to die. I legitimately thought the goose was going to walk through my window, fall a short distance to my floor, and proceed to hop up onto my bed to deliver my death sentence. I started crying and my boyfriend had NO idea why I was so terrified. I had to explain to him that I'm following this blogger named Allie, and she has a post about a goose invading her home and personal space and almost murdering her in cold blood. He then proceeded to laugh at me and tell me that geese are harmless. He is wrong. We both know that he is wrong.<br /><br />I just thought I would share with you my terrible goose story. And also, I'd like to thank you for the posts. They give me something to do while I'm bored at work surfing the internet (which you have won).jamie muffinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14511621104737416534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-12714046865601078072010-04-02T13:11:23.223-06:002010-04-02T13:11:23.223-06:00Now that's a funny story, and it reminds me of...Now that's a funny story, and it reminds me of a recent visit of my ladyfriend's son and girlfriend who are about your age.<br /><br />I have a second home way up in the Sierra Nevada mountains. I also have a rather large black bear for a neighbor. I don't know why but that damn bear likes to get in the back of my truck, but that's a separate issue.<br /><br />So, the son and his girlfriend were visiting us in the mountains one long weekend, and we were all on the deck. They heard some rustling and snuffling and general disturbance down in the forest. When asked about it I replied, "it's the bear that lives around here." They stayed out on the deck while we went back inside. About 10 minutes later they came running inside, breathless, wide eyed, and shouting, "the bear is on the deck!"<br /><br />I glanced out the window and sure enough he was wandering around the deck. At this point the bear started rubbing against the wall and making grunting noises. The kids are shaking and crying, "He's going to get in, do something!" I was considering a little bear humor to lighten the atmosphere, but I don't think they would have taken it well.<br /><br />At any rate I shooed the bear off the deck with my handy dandy starter's pistol. I decided not to tell them about the mountain lion.Allennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-2727456699104992442010-03-31T21:56:04.532-06:002010-03-31T21:56:04.532-06:00I fucking hate geese. I love Jurassic park though....I fucking hate geese. I love Jurassic park though. I guess I feel indifferent about the dinosaur-goose?AlsoAllienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-28088024009140467182010-03-31T15:28:37.993-06:002010-03-31T15:28:37.993-06:00You totally should have wrung it's neck and co...You totally should have wrung it's neck and cooked it!!! Goose is delicious.<br /><br />Lol @ previous comment. Yeah our geese KICK ASS!!!Chocolatesahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08493321160124151967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-83353613511888940122010-03-31T08:29:46.222-06:002010-03-31T08:29:46.222-06:00When I read this and watched the great video, I ha...When I read this and watched the great video, I had to cup my hand over my mouth and press hard as if trying to suffocate myself to keep from laughing out loud at the office! With my hand there I just kind of snorted and probably sounded like I was choking and dying.<br /><br />I think you should warn that all of your posts are NSFW, otherwise people will get fired for too much laughing. Well, heh, that and the fact that I spend half my work day reading your old posts...Boiganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13548571646024159786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4643741973264866223.post-40831627416729654212010-03-31T02:29:14.253-06:002010-03-31T02:29:14.253-06:00I, too, was once attacked by Geese as well. Only ...I, too, was once attacked by Geese as well. Only it was in the gangsta area of So Cal (south of L.A.). They were freaky, those geese. Tried to undo my halter top.<br /><br />And I swear one flipped me the bird.Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15876818887682684776noreply@blogger.com